“Oh! He is good looking.”
“I wonder if he is married?”
“Maybe I’ll sit closer to the front so he could notice me.”
“I don’t care how good looking his wife is, I’ll get him to notice me. A nice hot, red looking, low cleavage dress is always an eye grabber.”
In churches all across the United States, women are mesmerized by slick, clean looking, handsome pastors. Mind you, that not all pastors look hot but the anointing can dress a person up.
I find that pastors do not make it easy for women either because there are plenty of “player pastors” that pervert the pulpit on the level of Hophni and Phinehas.
While everyone’s minds ought to be on God and the Word, sometimes males and females come for one reason other than the Lord and His Word.
As I was doing my studies on sexuality, I came across an intriguing story. There was a woman, a pastor’s wife, that got caught in a pastoral scandal.
Obviously, it appeared that she was disconnected from her husband. But her husband was caught in a sex scandal himself.
He gave up the pastorate and moved to another state. They found a local church to be a part of to heal their wounds. They didn’t look to become pastors. They just wanted to reconnect with the Lord and with themselves. They came across a church where the wife felt she could connect with the pastor. The pastor’s wife, for whatever reason, seems like she couldn’t reconnect with her husband.
Or the husband couldn’t reconnect with his wife.
She turned to her new single male pastor for counseling.
Predictably, the new male pastor seemingly took advantage of an emotionally charged woman.
It is possible that the disconnect put a strain on the marriage to where there was little to no sex.
Or so it seems.
As always, one thing leads to another.
From a handshake across the pastor’s desk, to sitting on the couch, sobbing on the pastor’s shoulder. From holding hands, to embracing. From an innocent peck on the cheek, to full petting. From petting, to the bedroom.
All I’m saying is that ladies, if the pastor is a man of God, he should not be using his professional ministerial capacity to get opportunistic sex from anyone. And on the other side, women should never be looking to “connect” by being counseled by male pastors alone.
There is no question that women desire to connect with men of power and are readily deceived with smooth words from a snake.
Male pastors are vulnerable too. Vulnerable in the sense that sense ruled pastors cannot pass up an opportunity to use their personality to get into an emotionally disarmed woman.
The game is simple, get into a woman’s head and you have a chance to get into her in bed. Intimacy is connection, connection is intimacy, spirit, soul, and body.
In a way, when male pastors believe that they are a woman’s “covering,” it is a door that is about to be opened into the bedroom of a “predator” or a “wanderer.”
It is very easy to assume that the woman was the victim but I am not surprised at all when a woman knowingly play an innocent role to get as “close” to the pastor as possible. It’s known that women enter the chat room and then attempt to “hook up.”
In other words, they “act out” their connection with sex.
Young single male pastors in most church will have a house full of young women. There is no question that women will outnumber the attendance of men in church.
The Lord is not pleased when you come to church prepared to lust after your pastor.
Especially if he is married.
Double especially if you already have a husband.
You need to remember your marriage vows to your spouse before you get into trouble.
Women need to control their emotions and the male pastors, single and married, need to control their hormones. They also need to employ successful strategies to avoid at all cost the hint of sexual immorality.
There is always a scandal behind the scandal. Holiness is not just something to preach about. Holiness is about pleasing the Lord on a moment by moment basis.
Never counsel women alone.
If you are married, make sure your wife is there. If at all possible, if she has the call of God on her life, let her handle the women. If not, if she is not able to counsel women, find a church mother that has spiritual experience to handle those hot honeys that come to disrupt the holy house of God.
Pastor, if you are married, esteem your wife regularly in front of your congregation. Healthy, tactful displays of affection in front of the congregation reinforces your commitment to the one woman in your life. The intent is not to make women envious or jealous. The intent is to honor and esteem your wife as the second lover of your life.
This display shows that you have no intention of leaving her. When it’s done regularly, this gives your wife all the security she needs. Other women will try to get in on this but you just give them a handshake and keep it moving. Anything more and it’s nothing but trouble.
Remember what Paul said, “Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27.
If you cannot come to that church with God on your mind, you need to leave that church, or talk to someone that can help you put cold water on the fire raging within you.
You cannot have the hots for a pastor. IF he is single, if hasn’t approached you, you need to keep back 1000 feet. God will make things happen in your favor. If not, be patient. God will bring someone in your life that was looking for you all along.
Trust the Lord and do not doubt what He is able and willing to do just for you.