You can’t seem to stop watching porn and you compulsively masturbate. Oh, the pain of shame and remorse after another session of self sex. The tears of frustration and the anger raging within.
Perhaps, it’s time to consider that “A” word.
In the book, Betrayal Of Trust, in the introduction, it mentions a pastor of a Brooklyn Heights church in the late 1880’s, suspected of a church sex scandal. As you can see, sexual addiction is a problem in the church, suspicious or confirmed, however, there is always a scandal behind the scandal.
What is done in the shadows is the real war that no one wants to talk about and deal with.
You can look no further than your mind, hands, sex toys, and sex organs.
You have click this page because you are interested in recovering from sexual addiction.
Millions of persons, male and female, are looking to end the cycle of sexual addiction.
If you think that it’s only male sexual addiction we are dealing with, think again.
According to one source, 10 million women watch porn. 1 in 3 women will watch porn. 1 in 6 women will act out their fantasy. They go from the chat room to the bedroom.
Because you have recognized the bondage you were in and you are crying out for help you may have reached a point where deliverance is now in reach.
Like many of us, the seeds of addiction took place early in our youth. A glimpse at a porn magazine or scantily clothed women on magazines at the checkout counter. A movie with sex in it. All of these were seeds until one day, it was time to release sexual tension.
Perhaps, because of some form of molestation or perversion done to you by someone you may have known or trusted, it became a “flashing point” where the spark ignited your curiosity for sexuality.
If you can pinpoint the beginning of where your interest in sexuality was birthed, it could be the place where healing and compassion could be ministered to you in a non condemning way.
What Is Addiction?
According to one dictionary, addicted means, “…physically and mentally dependent upon a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.”
While this is true concerning drugs and alcohol, sexual addiction follows a similar pattern except that the chemicals involved in sex operate internally.
As with any result of experiencing something that initially feels great, we deceive ourselves or are led on to believe that there must be a better “high” than the last.
Sex is a very powerful, compelling act that provides a measure of pleasure but when sex is done immorally, the pleasure turns into condemnation and conviction. That’s the conscience speaking to your soul and body that you have violated God and the proper use of sex for the body (see 1 Corinthians 6:18).
There is only one way for you to stop feeling condemned.
Sometimes, this condemned feeling deceives you into thinking that there is no hope or chance of being delivered. Believe me when I, and the many that were bound, tell you.
For 33 years of masturbation 10 of these years of porn, I felt doomed. Hopelessness was the fuel to my despondency. It was only until I made a quality decision to never let hopelessness win.
As long as you are alive, you have hope. As long as someone is praying for you, you can walk out of the dark prison of sin and experience new life in Christ.
There is hope for you no matter what it looks like.
How can you stop something that you have been doing for years?
Sad to say, very few are able and willing to completely shut down sexual immorality dependency to fulfill a deep intimacy need or heal relational wounds that only God could heal.
According to one sexual recovery site, well over 2 million persons (male and female) clicked its site but only 10 percent started or completed the recovery process. For anyone to tell you that it is easy, is lying.
To disengage and disconnect from something that you are emotionally attached to is like taking something that is dear and “precious” but the Lord is here to recover you, and to restore you.
Here are the things that you must do if you are serious about recovering from sexual addiction.
1. You must be willing to be made whole by the Lord.
2. You must be willing to depend upon God, His Word, and accountability partners to see through your pre and post recovery process.
3. You must throw away your pride and arrogance.
4. If you have Bible knowledge, do not answer questions as if you are the authority on Bible knowledge. Humble yourself and be teachable.
5. You must throw away, disconnect, unsubscribe, and remove anything that may reconnect you to the dark world of porn. Even if it means giving away your laptop, cellphone, iPhone, iPad, or any other device connected to the Internet.
6. You must be held to account by brothers or sisters in a loving and non-condemning manner for life. You cannot do this nor go this alone.
7. You must be prepared to enter certain recovery programs that will help you regain as Dr. Mark Laaser says, “sexual sobriety.”
8. You must be willing to deny yourself sex from your spouse (with spousal approval) and masturbation to help regain sexual sobriety.
You do not have to be at any of these stages to start sexual addiction recovery.
Sometimes, what you need is a little encouragement.
Start where you are. The people that designed sexual addiction recovery know exactly where you are and will work with you to succeed.
All you need is just one start to get the ball rolling.
There are a few Christian sites you could go to.
As time progress, I will attempt to attach the link to these sites.
I took and completed the course offered by Mike Cleveland called “Way To Purity” from his website called Setting Captives Free. It is a 60 day course designed to teach you about sexual discipline, true intimacy, and re-establishing a holy relationship with the Lord. An accountability counselor will be assigned to you to help you along the way towards achieving victory over porn and masturbation.
Also, there are some tremendous books that you can read while you are taking the course.
Healing The Wounds of Sexual Addiction, by Dr. Mark Laaser
False Intimacy: Understanding The Struggle of Sexual Addiction, by Harry Schaumburg
In The Shadows of the Net, by Dr. Patrick Carnes
Wired For Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain, by Dr. William M. Struthers
My Struggle, Your Struggle, by Pastor Erik Jones
Every Man’s Battle & Every Woman’s Battle, by Stephen Arteburn & Fred Stoeker
The Sexual Man, by Dr. Archibald Hart
As you can see, there is a wealth of material available to get you started on a path towards achieving lasting freedom from sexual addiction, regain sexual sobriety, obtain marriage restoration, and reestablish a loving relationship with the Father, through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
It is not about competition and book selling.
It is about making every effective book and ministry in the area of sexual addiction recovery available to you so you can develop an “order of battle” against sexual immorality in your life.
The goal is to win in the battle space.
It requires teamwork, teamwork, teamwork.
It requires obedience, steadfastness, tenacity, and courage to take on the Goliath of our times.
The goal is not to inundate you with material but to give you a look into the world behind porn and sexual addiction recovery.
We all know that porn is sin, however, if we could also understand why we do what we do, we can get a better understanding of ourselves and be able, by God’s grace, put to death, kill, deaden, and deprive of power, the animal impulses lurking in our flesh and soul.
By doing this, our wives will get their husbands back. A generation of children behind us will be spared the agony of a failed marriage and perhaps, prevent another child from experiencing the pain of sexual immorality, and the church will have it’s honor restored, all for His glory.
I’ve had the distinct honor of sharing with Pastor Jeff Fisher of PornToPurity. He and his wife, Marsha co-founded PornToPurity to help the many men and families recover from sexual addiction.
This is what it’s all about. If you would go to this site www.porntopurity.com this will help you to understand what it takes to be delivered like he did, by the power, love, and grace of God.
You will not be disappointed.
A vast godly network is assembling and developing into a mighty army to enter the plains of MOAB to eradicate sexual immorality from the Body of Christ regardless of the category of preferential sin is concerned. According to Paul, the body (Body) is not for sexual immorality (see 1 Corinthians 6:13), but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Please click these links because we believe that victory is at hand.
WHAT ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY?
Sexual addiction knows no boundaries. Sexual immorality covers homosexuality and it is about preference and choice according to the Scriptures. No one is born into homosexuality. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God according to Romans 3:23.
We were all born and shaped in iniquity according to Psalm 51:5. Whether it is by molestation or any other sexual trauma, a person knowingly chooses or prefers a sexual sin that they intentionally and consciously engage in.
When you are ready to step from the dark shadows of homosexuality, there is one specific ministry that is time tested.
Pastor DL Foster’s Witness Freedom Ministries is on the cutting edge in dealing with the false doctrine of gay Christianity through his blog on gcmwatch.com. He is an authority in this subject and has been interviewed on the major secular and Christian networks concerning homosexuality.
Additionally, Pastor DL Foster, a Gulf War 1 combat veteran, has a powerful site called WitnessForTheWorld.org that deals with individuals looking for lasting freedom from the bondage of homosexuality. His book “Touching A Dead Man” will reveal a personal side of his deliverance from the bondage of homosexuality.
Another book that will bless you is Tears Of Deliverance by Deon Sanders. He shares about his personal struggles and complete deliverance from homosexuality, sexual sins, and masturbation.
Selena Mosley of Equipping For Change Ministries is another powerful ministry dealing with lesbianism. You must understand something about lesbianism. Obviously, it is feminine side of homosexuality but it also a place of Secret Sexual Sins in the ministry. Yes, all across the country, we are seeing females in the ministry come out of the closets and assume leadership roles as gay pastors and bishops.
Selena Mosley has a powerful series on BlogTalkRadio.com regarding deliverance from lesbianism.
Yes, there are lesbians in the church that are sex addicts. It’s just the sexual “preference” or the way they have chosen to express their sinful sex acts.
Selena Mosley also has a powerful anointing that will reach into you. Her testimony will uncover the dark world of homosexuality and drugs. One by one, as they become “former,” we will see what goes on in the world of homosexuality but it’s for one purpose.
That people can be delivered no matter how deep in sin you are.
Another book recommended by Pastor Foster’s gcmwatch.com site is about the lifestyle of a former lesbian name Michelle Smith called “From Lesbianism To Grace.”
WHAT ABOUT CHILD MOLESTATION?
Elder Raymond King of Securing Hope Ministry is another man of God that is on the ground dealing passionately with CSM or Child Sexual Molestation, abstinence, virginity, and homosexuality. He was interviewed regarding CSM and abstinence and gave compelling statements on the sad increase of teen pregnancy and it’s reasons.
You can catch his outstanding groundbreaking series on CSM on BlogTalkRadio.com.
His book, Sex, Satan, and the Church, Exposing The Lie is an eye opener that reveals the church’s closed eye approach to dealing with sexual immorality in the church.
In a phone conversation he shared with me, 1 out of 6 persons will have been molested as a child. Most, if not all molestation takes place between a child and someone the child knows, whether they were a sibling, parent, or relative. Someone that is also an authority figure may have molested that child.
Through this ministry, you will have a thorough understanding of the one door that the devil will use to incarcerate a generation of children, and hold them hostage for thousands of years.
Elder Raymond King is an authority on CSM and he strongly advocates abstinence as the only successful weapon of combating pregnancies, STDs, and HIV/AIDS. Through his outstanding curriculum, Bee Wise, parents could arm themselves to understand the early signs of CSM.
Please click the link below for further information.
You can prevail mightily over every secret sexual sin, and circumstance, moment by moment, in Jesus’ name.
To stay up to date, there is another sight that is incredibly powerful. I’m telling you. There is an incredible God that is orchestrating an assembling of powerful ministries that will bring sexual immorality in the church to its knees.
Jonathan Daugherty is founder and director of Be Broken Ministries (www.bebroken.com), host of Pure Sex Radio (www.puresexradio.com), founder of the Gateway to Freedom workshops (www.gatewaymen.com), author of Untangled& Secrets, father of three great kids, and husband of the best woman on the planet.
Please take time to check this sight out.