The saying goes,
Never judge a book by its cover.”
The flirty dirty cover.
But when it comes to porn and lusting after the flesh, the only concern is the cover.
The cover is what attracts the eyes.
It’s the deception that within the beauty of a body, there’s nothing wrong.
The beauty is PERFECT!!!
That’s the world of porn.
But it’s may also be true for marriage.
Men get attracted to a beautiful woman. They both play nice to a degree, and as soon as the marriage ceremony seals the deal, the book is open and the real story is read.
Porn operates the same way.
The cover lured you and you become a part of her book.
The bad part.
Granted. Not all books are bad.
Both the man and the woman did their due diligence in opening up the book to read what’s in it. Granted, the book of people’s lives is on going. We may never read it all. Sometimes, life does happen, but if you could get to the intent of the book as much as you can, the bad things that can and will happen could be mitigated.
But every now and then, the cover obscures the trap.
They don’t call it the Venus fly trap for nothing.
In marriage, after consummation, the story comes out.
All the things you thought you knew begin to unfold.
The wedding wasn’t the issue. You may have had a little spat, or many spats, but you were able to suppress it and compromise. But sometimes, people do go overboard. It gets ugly. In some cases, so ugly that you call off the wedding.
You’ve tried desperately to compromise but the anger and fierceness of the moment or moments was just too much to bear.
What does this have to do with porn?
Men are driven into the bosom of another woman over such things.
Men rarely investigate past the cover. Men rarely see something and say something about it. But on the other hand, some do. They see tendencies, habits, and other issues that could make or break a relationship.
The one thing that chase some men away from some women is the controlling and manipulation.
Don’t think for one moment that men don’t control or manipulate.
In some cases, men may be worse than women.
Each one want something and in order to get it, they will use control and manipulation to get it.
In a pre wedding situation, certain tests should take place.
Boundaries, territories, pro’s, con’s, likes, dislikes, attitudes, mind sets, religious beliefs, foods, drinks, child raising, living habits, hygiene, education, jobs, finances, attire, recreational habits, and other areas.
They all get tested.
The key is time.
Few people are willing to take their time and examine carefully a person.
Some go as far as private investigations, background checks, family visitations, friend visitation, employment visitations, etc.
You want to know what you’re getting into.
But the cover masks all these areas until the test comes.
The sex (whether moral or immoral) is what you wanted and got but you didn’t count on the story. The drama. The hidden agenda. The controlling. The manipulating. The anger. The frustration. The constant bickering. The boisterous mouth. The lying. The cheating. The put downs. The smile as the blade pierces your back.
The one place where men are driven to when they’re hurt is porn and masturbation. Pretending to have sex with that woman on the screen.
Deeply fantasizing having sex and not dealing with the relationship.
But even if there’s no drama, over time, the cover loses its attractiveness.
When a couple get passed a certain safe zone, their physical attraction is less important. After the wedding ceremony, you got what you wanted. For the man, sex. For the woman, marriage. Then there’s no need to “upkeep” especially after having children.
For the most part, the cover lost it’s beauty, and for the male, he loses his strength. But he never lost the ability to look and be stimulated sexually.
But over time, eventually, his ability to perform in the bedroom slows down.
As you age, you adjust.
It’s called settling down.
However, the gym can do wonders for both the male and female.
Maintaining the cover is a life long pursuit.
This one act of maintaining the cover of the book could save many marriages.
Vitality will be lost one day, but you could slow down its affect.
The winds of destroying marriages are around.
Many believe that when you age in marriage, it doesn’t matter about the cover.
You have a right to that thought, but just imagine if you did your part to maintain the cover for as long as you could?
It may save the marriage relationship.
So, the cover to attract is there as well as what’s in the book.