Tagged: solo sex

Fighting The Urge For Solo Sex

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A man of God on many occasions have asked his audience “Are you fighting against sin?”

In this age where sexual immorality is abounding in many believers, it is no different than asking the question “Do you love the Lord more than your sex sins?”

You can’t love or have both. Just like we can’t love God and money at the same time (see Matthew 6:24).

From the time that you’ve experienced a “wet dream,” or you’ve fondled yourself to orgasm, this fight continues until you gain control over your urges, your thoughts that drive your urges, and your flesh from desiring to fulfill those urges.

It is evident in men and woman that sexuality was a placed in us by God as a gift to be shared in marriage between one man and one woman. Sin changed this. An insatiable desire to have it more and more. And in some cases, many believers desire to have sex with more than one person.

This perversion is not from God.

We all know that it comes from the desires to participate in sexual sin, lurking in our members.

Proverbs 27:20 says “Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

When Jesus came to Jacob’s well and spoke with the Samaritan woman (John chapter 4), she had five husbands and the one she was with wasn’t her husband.

It is clear in these Scriptures that when a man or woman is out of control, they will “…suppress the truth in unrighteousness” to deceitfully justify masturbation. (see Romans 1:18)

Yes, believers will move from the place of self control to out of control. To engage in sin, a believer must suppress the truth of God’s Word. Take off the armor of light. Leave the Name of the Lord outside the door of darkness, and engage in sin. For the devil demands that you leave righteousness at the door of the den of evil.

The only way a believer can sin is when he takes his armor of light off. You can’t sin with your armor of light on. When a military person wears the uniform, their whole demeanor changes. The mentality changes. When a military person is in conflict, life or death, his or her whole mentality changes. When orders are given, their whole mentality changes.

When we have the armor of light on, our whole mentality changes. We are not the same. Just like the transition from civilian to soldier, sailor, marine, airman takes place after training, so it is in the Spirit.

Everything about us changes.

How much more the believers in the Body of Christ.

In Romans 13:14, Paul said, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

When you put on Christ you are putting on the armor.

Romans 13:11-12 “And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.”

In 1 Corinthians 9:27 “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”

Many of us desire God and His righteousness. But the desire to withstand and withhold ourselves from displeasing God is easily suppressed because the mind is made up to have that which is forbidden.

When a person asks a question about whether masturbation is permitted or prohibited, they already know the answer. If God permitted it, there would be no need to ask if it is permitted. Just like marriage and sex. It is natural for a man and a woman that is married to have sex. There is no need to ask the question.

Just get married and the rest is…………natural.

It’s the areas where there is no Scripture or there seems to be no Scripture where we look for permission.

I believe that Jesus addressed masturbation by not using the word. Just like Jesus, as the Word gave the Word on homosexuality in Leviticus 18 and only mentioned marriage between one man and one woman in Matthew 19:4-5 as the answer regarding prohibiting same sex unions.

Of course homosexuals will argue that Jesus didn’t mention one word about homosexuality. But He did. Remember in John 1, the apostle of the Lamb said that “In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God….”

So because Jesus is the Word of God, and He was in the beginning with God, Jesus gave the Word regarding homosexuality in Leviticus 18. Matthew 19:4-5 further gives evidence that Jesus never changed His mind. Jesus cannot be One with the Father if Jesus disagreed with the Father.

So to say that Jesus never said anything about homosexuality, you have to come up with evidence that Jesus never existed before He became flesh. You would have to come up with irrefutable evidence that the pre-incarnate Jesus didn’t happen.

With masturbation, you have to come up with irrefutable evidence that Jesus permits a man or a woman to masturbate.

The book of Leviticus also speaks of “discharge” or seminal discharge and a man is unclean for 7 days. It never spoke of a man manually stimulating himself to ejaculate. According to Scripture, this gives the appearance of a normal sexual activity between husband and wife, or “wet dreams.”

Now here is the Scripture.

Matthew 5:27-30

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

Notice that the Lord mentioned two members that are involved with solo sex.

  1. Eyes.
  2. Hands.

When you are watching porn, you do not have to be with that person to commit adultery.

Just looking to lust after her flesh is enough to declare that you have committed adultery. But you take things to the next level. You look to “….fulfill the desires of the flesh and the mind.”

You begin to make “….provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

Then James 1:15 manifests “…Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”

Everyone knows that a man and a woman must use their hands and eyes, or images that appear before us to arouse sexuality.

How does one fight these urges?

Paul said in Romans 6:11-14 “Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

Hebrews 12:4 says “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”

Look back up in Matthew 5:27-30. This is exactly what Jesus meant.

It is a metaphor.

How far are you willing to go to stop yourself from obeying the urge for solo sex?

One moment of pleasure can plunge you straight to hell.

Is it worth it? Is one moment of touching yourself sexually worth going to hell over?

If you do not believe that you can go to hell over this, are you willing to take that chance?

Is the risk worth it?

Some of you believe that the risks outweigh the penalty because “…suppressing the truth in unrighteousness” is deceptive. Remember what Jeremiah 17:9 says.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?”

In light of all this information, the ball is in your court.

You have a decision to make.

Sexual immorality is MOAB, the Mother Of All Battles. Sexual immorality is the Goliath of our times. We will either continue in solo sex bondage, or fight the urge to be and remain free.

 

Q & A On Porn & Solo Sex Commonly Called Masturbation, Part 3

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Q: Upon reading one of your blogs, you specifically said that masturbation is the “door” to homosexuality. My question to you is, what is the basis for this seemingly absurd statement?

A: During a “Come Clean” men’s meeting, I invited Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn NY, as a guest speaker. This was in 2009, if I remember correctly. The statement was profound. He said that “…masturbation is the door to homosexuality.”

Now, there is nothing specifically stated in the Bible that “masturbation is homosexuality.”

The inference based on preponderance of incidences and evidence is being used to make an arguable point. I am well aware that people will reject this argument. This is not to say that those that are into masturbation are homosexuals, but for argument’s sake, assume that if this is right, where do you want to go? Do you want to continue masturbating or do you want to be free?

I struggled with that statement because when it comes to normal sex, it takes two. A man and a woman, or in the case of homosexuality, two of the same sex acting out as if they are the opposite sex. So we all agree that normal sex is between one man and one woman in holy matrimony.

But when it comes to masturbation, it’s only you, whether male or female.

As I thought about it, you are a male pretending to have sex with a male or female, but you are touching yourself sexually.

With homosexuals, and this is about to get a little graphic, they masturbate each other.

How do I know?

While I was searching for porn, as always, they advertise all sorts of sex. There was a man on a couch, doing solo sex. I haven’t delved into “how to’s” of masturbation, but I know they exist.

While watching an interview of Ted Haggard, the former pastor of New Life Church in Colorado, he was asked a question about his homosexual affair and meth use. He stated that this man that he was with “masturbated him.” 

So this is indisputably common.

Let’s look at this from the perspective of the fact that as a male, you are giving sexual stimulation to yourself. We know that there is more to masturbation when it comes to homosexuality. No need for the details, but foreplay is part of the sex act that leads to climax or ejaculation.

There will be many that will not accept this, and that is understandable. However, look at it just for a moment of you putting your hands sexually on you.

You are a male, or a female………right?

You are giving yourself sex……right?

So how can it not be homosexuality? Homosexuality is same sex activity. It takes two persons. This is a valid point and question. But you can also look at it that at the very least, these are the beginning stages of homosexuality.

When it comes to acting out sexually, and doing sex within the authorization of marriage according to the Bible, this is legal sex.

Illegal sex is when you are having sex with another man or another woman that is not your wife or husband. Illegal sex is when you are acting out sexually with the same sex. Sex was designed by God for two persons to become one flesh and to procreate, therefore any other sexual activity is not the intended design of sex authorized by God.

Can a wife stimulate (masturbate) her husband? Perfectly legal.

Can a husband stimulate (masturbate) his wife? Perfectly legal.

If acting out sexually by yourself is authorized for man or woman by God, then there wouldn’t be an issue with your conscience. Again, I want to remind you that after masturbation, the conscience is offended because of acting out sexually apart from God’s design of sexual activity between married persons, one male and one female.

Just ask yourself another question. Is someone masturbating you or are you masturbating you?

The one thing that we have to understand is that when it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, solo sex masturbation is very embarrassing. We do not want to discuss something that is highly taboo. And yes, people have made jokes about it, and use hand gestures to mean certain things, but we all know that masturbation is common solo sex.

Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 that “….homosexuals (catamites) and……sodomites….will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Then in Revelation 21:8 that the “sexually immoral…will be cast into the lake which burns with fire and brimstone.”

I either had to be in denial and suppress the truth, or admit that I may be on the door of practicing homosexuality on myself.

What we have done with taboo subjects is avoid the issue and place our own permission on committing acts that are not permitted by God outside of the intended design. We’ve stretched the imagination and disqualify the conscience. But are we imposing our own law on others? What would be the governing factor here where there is no Scripture approving or disapproving masturbation?

Your conscience doesn’t condemn or shame you, and the fact that if Jesus masturbated. Then you have all the permission you need.

Then we act like some (not all) preachers and lawyers, and try our best to twist or deny the Word in hopes of continuing in sin that grace may abound (see Romans 6:1). We’ve yielded our members (penis or clitoris) as instruments of unrighteousness, slaves of sin, (see Romans 6:12-13) to continue in committing acts that violate your conscience and the heart of God.

Finally, when it comes to pleasing God, when you are masturbating, are you having sex in accordance with God’s design or are you circumventing and countermanding His design to fulfill selfish sexual needs?

Pastor Commits Suicide Over Ashley Madison Hack Discovery

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We understand the impact of this incident that potentially over 400 pastor’s would be revealed. However, sometimes we do not count on a pastor to commit suicide. Sadly, it may not be the last pastoral suicide for pastors with their names caught on the list.

We grieve for the family he left behind. They somehow have to pick up the pieces to understand the magnitude of his Secret Sexual Sins and his suicide. Grace and healing is available from the throne of God. It will take time and we should understand that. No family speedily recovers from this tragedy. However, recovery and healing is possible. No one can ever fathom the loss, let alone the reason behind this tragic loss.

It is not safe to say that there would be no more pastoral suicides. Pastoral suicides has become all too common. We really do not know how many pastors commit suicide after such a discovery, but it is beginning to seem like there is no other reason. We know that the work load of a pastor, depending upon demographics, attendance, and counseling of people will take its toll.

Few know how to get away and get with God to recover.

Being a pastor places a strain on marriages.

While we do not know the inner details of their marriage, it is enough to say that every marriage is different. Dynamics are different and how to gauge the health of a marriage can only be done by the couple going through the marriage and what steps ministers and wives take to navigate the difficulties associated with marriage and ministry.

Sadly, the other end of the spectrum is that most pastors believe that they are indispensable. Or that they are super heroes and can save everybody while refusing to look after themselves. We are not saying that this is the reason, but it could be a vital part of the equation.

The other thing that is of grave importance is the pastor’s secret lives and their sexual activities outside of their marriages.

Secret lives include porn and masturbation, combined with acting out sexually with persons other than your wife, to be very specific. It underscores the importance to get before God to keep your heart clean, and to have “other eyes” on your life that you feel safe to let your hair down.

No pastor and his wife can do no wrong than to have someone to talk to and be transparent with to ensure that the devil has no place in their lives. Men are more vulnerable and too, they are more frightened to expose the secrets lurking in the hearts. It makes them feel less of a man and out of control.

But we should already know that God see us (see Psalm 90:8), and our secret sins are before the countenance of God.

The devil takes no prisoners according to John 10:10 and 1 Peter 5:8-9a. Therefore we should do everything in our power to keep our heart from traveling into the dark places. For in the dark places, no pastor can fellowship with God while walking with devils.

We pray God’s comfort on the family.

The story about this sad tragedy could be read here.

Breaking The Power Of Porn & Masturbation (Part 2). Are You Under Its Power?

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There are many, men in particular, that give nonchalant responses to make it appear that they are not under porn’s power.

There is no humility, contriteness of heart, godly sorrow, and desire to please the Lord. They deflect intense questioning by avoiding the obvious issue of personal discipline. They run from accountability, prayer, obedience to the Word resulting in personal discipline. They believe it isn’t necessary. Their form of godliness is a ploy. They know how to give lip service as their heart is far from God. When they sit in front of their accountability partner, they play like they haven’t struggled.

They make believe that everything is fine and usually it’s a dead give away that you relapsed back into porn and masturbation. 

Little do they know that those of us that have walked in this same deception can smell sin a mile a way. We don’t know everything like God but there are certain undeniable signals that indicate that you’ve been playing with yourself. 

Since we’ve been delivered, we know what it looks like to keep a secret and play like we haven’t sinned. They always give the appearance that they are in control but we all know that they are raging on the inside of their flesh and mind. They can’t wait until the pressure to come clean is off so that they could resume the business of flesh. In fact, you’ve already planned out what you are going to do that evening when the lights go off and when your wife is asleep, or in another room.
Your wife still feels you are distant, cold and rarely engage in meaningful sex. In fact, she feels dirty when you have sex. It feels like you have brought what you were watching into the bedroom. Furthermore, you ask her to do certain things that you’ve watched porn stars do and she refused.

You get frustrated, and cut your wife off as you return to porn and masturbation to satisfy your perverted sexual fantasy.

Does any of this sound like you?

It’s because they are still mastered by masturbation and porn.

Listen to the words of Paul by the Spirit of God in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

When it comes to porn an masturbation, we see that those that do not take the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ serious enough, they are under “its power.”

In Romans 6:14 Paul also said this.

“For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

The reason why sin cannot have dominion over us is because the Lord Jesus broke the power of sin when the Father placed upon the Lord Jesus our sin. The power and guilt of sin was thoroughly destroyed and the devil who had power can no longer hold men in bondage.

Hebrews 2:14-15 says “Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.”

Jesus took on flesh and by living a sinless life, conquered the power and guilt of sin. It was at this point that on the cross, the Father was able to put on Jesus the sin of the whole world and did a threefold work.

  1. He lived sinless.
  2. He became an appeasing sacrifice.
  3. He put away the power of sin.

So what is holding you back from walking free from porn and masturbation?

The answer is found in your will to yield to the broken power of sin.

It’s no different than a cop putting handcuffs on you that can’t lock.

No different than a correction officer placing you in a jail cell and leaving the door open for you to walk out at anytime.

Hence, what Paul said is true.

You are not brought under the power of porn and masturbation.

However, because of your desire to fulfill the lust in your mind and flesh, you allow yourself to be ruled by it. You allow yourself to be governed by it. You allow it to be your god. You obey your god of lust.

At any time you can walk away from porn and masturbation. Because Jesus broke the power of sin, there is nothing that the devil could do to lock the handcuffs or close the prison door.

So being that the Lord Jesus did the hard work on the cross, paid our debt in full, and released us from this bondage, what are you willing to do to maintain your freedom?

When I was into masturbation, I looked for an accelerant. Porn became that accelerant which took me further than I wanted to go. When I was dealing with sexual sins, the demons behind the power were pulling me further into the dark world of sexual perversion.

In this dark world, I began to accept watching threesome sex where homosexuality is part of the package.

Then it pulls you into thinking about prostitution, fornication, and adultery where acting out what pleasure you are seeing becomes an insatiable desire. You cannot watch porn, masturbate, and not be tempted to take things to the next level.

When you are dealing with masturbation, it is pretend sex. You are imagining having sex with that person. There comes a point where you will be tempted, if you haven’t already, to move from pretend to reality. Men and women get frustrated in watching others perform because they want to participate in experiencing their pleasure.

Not realizing that you are being lured into the bottomless dark abyss of sexual immorality.

It is there that the bite is almost inescapable.

It’s like watching seals trying to evade the bite of the shark. Sooner or later, the shark will get it. It’s just a matter of time.

For most people, they desire to break free but each time, the pleasure becomes overwhelming. You become hooked and you refuse to let it go. For some, no matter what incentive is given to be holy and pure before God, you find yourself touching yourself sexually. For some, the coming of the Lord could happen at any moment, yet, because of the desire to fulfill a sexual fantasy, who cares about the Lord’s coming?

Revelation 21:8 is incentive enough for me.

The sexually immoral will be cast into the lake which burns with fire and brimstone.

Sadly, this will not be enough incentive for they have “…no fear of God before their eyes.”

One of the beautiful things about the Lord is that He is  “not willing than any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”

In other words, your hopelessness is not finite until you pass into eternity without repentance and faith towards God.

Billions by the end of the day will have clicked a porn site to masturbate off of it. You do not have to be one of them.

The same grace that was offered to me to set me free from sin to never sin porn and masturbation again is available to you.

Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.”

You have to trust the Lord that He will satisfy that deep longing in your heart to where you do not need porn and masturbation any more. That’s what faith is about. The willingness to trust God for the rest of your life to do without porn and masturbation.

It’s up to you to refuse to yield to its power.

Here are some recommended steps.

  1. Prayer and fasting. Fasting food, television, Internet, magazines, social media, evil connections of friends, etc.
  2. Eyes on your life. It’s called accountability. Someone that you not only feel safe with, but someone that is willing to hold your feet to the fire to help you when you are tempted.
  3. Read your Bible every day. Recommended Scriptures….Psalm 119:9-11, Job 31:1, Proverbs 27:20, Matthew 5:27-30, Matthew 6:22-23; Romans 13:11-14, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18; 7:1; Ephesians 6:10-18; Romans 12:1-2, Hebrews 4:12-16; Romans chapter 6 and chapter 8. 1 Corinthians 9:27, Galatians 5:22. 1 Corinthians 10:13.
  4. Radical Amputation. The willingness to disconnect yourself from watching movies, shows, and other forms of entertainment known to have sex in any form that arouses the senses. Including removing or disconnecting televisions, satellite, cable, and internet connections at home. The willingness to avoid watching sports, morning, afternoon or evening news and weather channels known to have sexy women and shows that are known to have commercials with sex themes to sell items. Avoid books, magazines, fitness magazines, and other material that may bait or plant a seed to entice or incite the flesh and mind.

This is how you exercise your senses to discern both good and evil according to Hebrews 5:12-14.

It’s very easy to receive the initial deliverance. The work is in the maintenance of the deliverance. How bad do you want to keep your deliverance?

If you do these three things every day and don’t look back, if you put your full faith and trust on the grace of the Lord, you will not be brought under its power for the rest of your life.

Cutting The Head Off: Dealing With Goliath (Masturbation).

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This is not about castration.

Although castration has more to do with the removal of the testicles. Now that I have your interest, pornography has been talked about in the church for quite some time.  I do not believe that there is a wide spread discussion because there’s plenty of pastors that are still watching porn and masturbating on a regular basis.

In fact, without the statistics, I believe that there is a significant increase unless there is a statistic that will prove me wrong.

For my text, I will use a few verses of Scripture. 

Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

As a side note, men and women use their hands to masturbate and lust for the flesh with their eyes. So if there’s any doubt about my inference of Jesus talking about masturbation……

Luke 9:23-26 “Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world (sexual satisfaction), and is himself destroyed or lost? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.”

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Colossians 3:57 “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.”

Hebrews 12:4 “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

While watching God TV, every now and then they would show the Winter Ramp of 2014 in Knoxville TN held at the Omega Center International (OCI). A brother would share his powerful testimony about being delivered from pornography.

The young men and women that are there (approximately 5000 or more) are seemingly attracted to the new found freedom to preach on a subject that in some places, is still taboo. However, it is very encouraging to witness young people being ministered to about this subject.

During the altar call, many young people responded to be free in Jesus’ name. While it is more of a testimony and ministry of the Word of God in this area, it is real, genuine and sincere.

The power of the blood of Jesus and the Holy Spirit broke the chains of those that desired to be free. Many of us that were in this filth are aware of the dangers of pornography. Many of us had seeds of the lusts of the flesh planted in our hearts and minds as early as 11 years of age during puberty where sexual experimentation is exploited.

We become more aware of sexuality as we are exposed to certain shows that exhibit more flesh than one could imagine. We have to assume that many of our young people are already exposed and the devil is waiting at every line that you say you wouldn’t cross, just to cross it.

There were many of us that drew a line and declared emphatically that we would never cross that line.

Except, that the last line that we crossed was a line we said we wouldn’t cross. 

We all are aware that pornography is just like fuel propellant or an accelerant.

An accelerant is defined as “a substance or bond, mix, or disturb another substance and cause an increase in the speed of a natural, or artificial chemical process.”

This definition fits the description of pornography. According to Dr. William Struthers, “porn hijacks the brain.” The visual affects of the illegal sex (fornication, adultery, bisexual (threesomes), homosexuality) act stimulates the chemicals in the body to the point where the person watching is compelled to release sexual tension.

By the way, the reason why people in the church became more accepting of the sin of homosexuality is that while we were watching porn, we would watch two women and a man or one woman and two men having sex. This was a subtle way to make homosexuality palatable and acceptable.

Threesomes desensitized and brought callousness to our hearts and minds and acceptance of homosexuality is now very easy. Thanks to threesomes and orgies in pornography.

When a person watches a PG, R, or MA rated movie with sexuality and sensuality, the same goal is achieved. Accelerants are all over the place. On the highway with TV screens, billboards, commercials, newspapers, and of course, the Internet.

As soon as we see it, the “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” kick in.

Hence, my next point. When I see men and women make their testimony, only those that are involved with porn know what else is going on.

Masturbation

Watching porn is pretending to have sex with the images on the screen. No one watches porn and does not act out sexually. This is what some of us have been saying for quite some time. I realize that it is very embarrassing to talk about what we do when we watch porn but if we are going to deal with this issue, we must include the discussion on masturbation.

There are many people that do not believe that masturbation is a sin because there’s no Scripture in the Bible that prohibits masturbation.

Let’s flip this around and say that there is no Scripture in the Bible that permits the practice of masturbation. This is where the argument must go. If there is no Scriptural prohibition, search the Scriptures for Scriptural permission. 

In the book of Leviticus, when there was an innocent, deliberate “seminal discharge” by way of a “wet dream,” the man would be declared “unclean.” This, in and of itself, is not the prohibition but the fact that a man is “unclean” after a wet dream is something to think about. What if he was having sex with his wife. Is he and his wife unclean after sex?

The answer is YES!!! 

Leviticus 5:16-18 “If any man has an emission of semen, then he shall wash all his body in water, and be unclean until evening. And any garment and any leather on which there is semen, it shall be washed with water, and be unclean until evening. Also, when a woman lies with a man, and there is an emission of semen, they shall bathe in water, and be unclean until evening.”

This Scripture doesn’t mention whether or not he had a wet dream but it gives the appearance that masturbation is permitted because the next sentence deals with sex with the wife.

The next question is…….. Are we under this law? Absolutely not. We are under grace because of the Lord Jesus. However, when it comes to masturbation, which is solo sex in violation of the “one flesh” principle in Genesis 2:24, you must conclude that since God neither permitted or prohibited masturbation, it is prohibited, not permitted.

You can’t be one flesh with yourself.

Sex is shared between two persons of the opposite sex, in holy matrimony.

So where does this leave us?

There is no Scripture that says that masturbation is a sin.

On the other hand, there is no Scripture that says that masturbation is righteous.

Let’s look at the sexual discipline of the Lord Jesus.

We all know that Jesus never sinned. In order for Him to be the Lamb of God to take away the sin of the world, He must not sin. He must also be in complete control of every member of His body. Otherwise, He would be a tainted Lamb of God and that would make Him ineligible to die for the sins of the whole world. We know that pornography is a slave master.

However, if we were really honest with ourselves, the urges and impulses in our flesh are the true slave masters when left undisciplined (see Romans chapter 6 and James 1:14-15).

The urges and impulses in our flesh were placed there by the Lord. Under normal conditions (holy matrimony see Genesis 2:24), our sexuality is permitted. However, after the fall of Adam, it rages out of control until there is an illegal release or a deliberate suppression of the truth to engage in unlawful sexuality. We can say that we don’t watch porn any more.

The only thing that was done was the removal of the accelerant.

This is a good step, but now what about the urges and impulses that rage within you?

Have you found a way, by the strict obedience to the Word of God to discipline the flesh and mind? Have you entered into a place where you cut the head off for good? You see, Goliath was still alive when the rock sunk into his head. David had to make sure that he would not be counter-attacked.

To ensure that the giant (sexual immorality) is dead, one must pull the sword of Goliath from his sheath and deliver the final blow.

Severing the head from the body.

Again, looking at porn is just an accelerant. 

What about the porn that runs around in your head? What about the chat rooms with women and men? What about that hot looking woman or man you run into on your way to work on the bus, subway, airport, the gym, the running paths when exercising or walking you dog? The newsstands, and magazine racks? The TV shows and movies? The Internet? The Weather Channel, CNN, FOX, CBS, MSNBC?

The church women that you see every week? If you are serious about the total discipline of your flesh and mind, you have to make up your mind to enter into the secret place of the Most High and do business with your flesh and mind. You must not shed a tear for the demon that ruled you without mercy.

If you conceal your sin, you will not prosper (see Proverbs 28:13).

You may have confessed to porn, and this is good.

The next step is to confess the bondage to masturbation and forsake it. For me, this was the most difficult part to confess and forsake because of the love of this bondage to fulfill the sin of lust.

When Jesus said, “Men loved darkness rather than light,” it’s everything that we do in the dark that Jesus wants revealed in the light. As long as it is in darkness, nobody has to know. But we know that we are only fooling ourselves.

When we expose it, God doesn’t have a story to tell and God can’t judge something that we’ve judged ourselves.

When we humble ourselves, we are spared His humiliation.

God wants the total man to be free. He sent His Son, Jesus to make us free. The truth is what frees us but it’s the knowledge of the truth, the deliberate action of permitting truth to expose the hidden, secret places of our lives that we find rest and peace.

Masturbation is that hidden, dark world that we sure would like to be kept as a secret, but it must be exposed and cut off mercilously. That’s because the demons of sexual immorality are merciless. 

Psalm 90:8 says,

“You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”

As the Scriptures says, “There is no peace to the wicked.”

Walk over to Goliath. Your urges and impulses and prepare it for crucifixion.

Prepare to raise the blade without apprehension, hesitation, apology, or fear.

And with absolute resolve to use deadly force, CUT THAT HEAD OFF!!!!!!!

The Power To Do Without Solo Sex

There are many males and females in the Body of Christ that cannot do without solo sex called masturbation.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

The reasons range from, “There is nothing in the Bible that says that I can’t masturbate,” “I’m on a long distance trip away from my wife, I got to “get off” before I go crazy.”  to “My spouse is sick and I need to let off a little sexual tension.” “To keep myself from fornicating, committing adultery, or get a girl pregnant, or get an STD, I masturbate.”

While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that says that we can’t masturbate, equally, there is no Scripture that says that you are permitted to engage.

A lot of people have accused proponents of no masturbation that we engage in extra Biblical standards. I call it “elasticity of the Scriptures.”

Meaning that we’ve stretched or added to the Bible to prohibit the practice of masturbation.

I’ve been accused of this as well as other men and women of God that broke free from masturbation.

The grace of God operates in us as we obey the Word of God to abstain from every appearance of evil.

Just as people will read what I’ve just said, they will say, where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil?

No where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil.

But we know that selfishness is evil. And masturbation is not about selflessness but it’s about selfishness.

If you cannot control yourself, then you are selfish. Right?

This question requires a Yes or NO.

Is masturbation about selflessness or selfishness?

Yes or No?

Then why did I say that it is evil?

Aren’t you “stretching” the Scriptures?

Genesis 2:24 says these words….“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

When it comes to solo sex, you are having sex with yourself. God created Eve for Adam. There is no where in the Bible where we see that Adam masturbated. If that were true, that Adam masturbated, then Eve, or the body of a woman wouldn’t be necessary.

Also, look at what the Lord said in Genesis 2:18.

“And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Solo sex is a sex act alone. You are fantasizing sex alone or by yourself. So because God said it is not good that man should be alone, it doesn’t take calculus to figure it out.

Masturbation would be necessary if God never intended to make Eve for Adam.

Since God made Eve for Adam, masturbation is not necessary.

Let me point something out.

Many masturbators will argue that there is nothing wrong with occasional masturbation, or experimental masturbation. Usually proponents of masturbation will defend rigorously the solo sex act.

Masturbators will create reasons to defend masturbation but the ultimate undeniable reason is……

Lust in the heart.

In reading several books on this subject, there are many men that use porn to increase the arousal to perform solo sex. As one man of God put it, “You do not need porn to masturbate, I got porn all in my head.” All you need are fantasy or thoughts, and urges and impulses to get you going. In one book called “Every Young Man’s Battle,” a young man said “I find it very difficult to masturbate without thinking lustfully.”

Then again, you may not have to have a beautiful woman in your mind to masturbate.

You could lust after you.

You could have an infatuation of your own genitals and the way you bring yourself to orgasm and or ejaculation.

Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword Of The Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY shared that masturbation is the stepping stone or “door to the beginning stages of homosexuality.”

As a man, you are doing you.

I know that MSM is a man having sex with another man but what is masturbation?

You having sex with you.

Therefore, masturbation is a selfish, obsessive fetish of your genitals.

Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:1, “…For men will be lovers of themselves.”

The word “themselves” means “fond of self.”

The Amplified says “self centered.”

That’s exactly what masturbation is.

Self centered.

Besides, it’s all about you “getting off.”

So if the Lord made a woman that you are to marry to have sex with, is there any justification for masturbation?

Listen to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 (AMP).

“But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire.]”

If masturbation were permitted, why didn’t Paul say, “But if they have not self control, they should masturbate. For it is better to masturbate than to be aflame…”

So the remedy of masturbation is to get married.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:2 “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

Sex is designed by God to be shared, not for selfish solo sex.

There will be disagreement, and that is unavoidable, but the disagreers have yet to provide one Scripture to justify their position to justify masturbation.

I, and many others have given Scripture to remedy the need for masturbation. Yet, we have yet to see proponents of masturbation to present Scriptural justification to masturbate.

For instance, we expect to see from the proponents of masturbation the following…..Masturbation is justified because the Bible said……

But we know that we won’t see that.

Instead, we get…..“The Bible said nothing about not masturbating.”

Just because the Bible is silent it isn’t permission.

If something like sex was designed by God, then it will follow the Manufacturer’s Manual for use.

Jesus mentioned two things. Eye and hand.

Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

How many brothers and sisters in Christ will testify that they use their hands (female use of sex toys) to masturbate and they use their eyes to search for a sexual object to meditate on sexually?

Here, the Scriptures gives us the blueprint for sexual activity within the confines of the “one flesh” principle according to Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 7:9.

You can’t be one flesh by yourself. You need an opposite partner to become one flesh. Otherwise, you are in violation of what God originally intended in sex.

Again, if masturbation were justified by God, there would be no need for Eve.

Pretend sex would negate the necessity of a woman.

Therefore, when it comes to masturbation, “you are brought under its power.”

When you are brought under its power, it means that it has control over you. The way that the flesh is designed, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is “wired” for sex. He also said that “porn hijacks the brain.”

When you are brought under its power, at any moment, you can think about sex and the body of a man is engaged until sexual release takes place. A man that is under control will never give themselves over to his or her sexual urges and impulses. One of the fruit of the Spirit is “temperance” or “Self control.”

If you cannot stop, you are not under control.

In fact, even when you occasionally masturbate, you are not under control. Your lusts or animal impulses is managing the urges and impulses.

Complete control demands that you do not give yourself over to your urges and impulses.

The discussion of masturbation is still a taboo subject among men. One person in my secular employment said out of his mouth, “man does it all the time, it’s no secret.”

And he is right, Yet, to discuss it in the open is still a secret.

Why?

It is embarrassing. The conscience is still offended. Why is the conscience offended? It is a clear indication that you are doing something that the body is not designed to do as far as a solo act is concerned. Nonetheless, a man will engage in masturbation because he can’t control his urges and impulses the way Jesus did when He walked the earth. That’s why He gave us woman. We select a female to marry and we could have all the sex we want.

However, we have come to see that even while married, a married man is out of control. Having sex with his wife, still seems like it isn’t enough.

Why?

Proverbs 27:20 gives us the answer.

“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

The sexual process always begins with what’s in the heart of a man. Then he goes into search mode with his eyes. His body then makes provision to fulfill that lust in the heart, and sin, when it is finished, brings for death (see James 1:14-15). If you ever wonder why you have that “condemned” feeling after you’ve masturbated, it’s because you sinned against your body.

Look at what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

I trust that after reading this that you would seriously consider that God is looking to help you overcome solo sex.

If you are single or married, and you are struggling to stop masturbating, there is some help on this blog page. Sexual Addiction Recovery.

Usually when you are participating in the practice of Secret Sexual Sins and you fight to preserve something that you know is wrong, it is a clear indication that you are convicted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t argue to fight for it.

If you feel condemned and you want to argue about continuing to masturbate, I understand your position. Having been involved in masturbation for 33 years with relapse after breaking free and for 10 years of these 33 years involved with pornography, I too, argued until I came clean and asked the Lord to help me overcome masturbation.

There is help. You just got to be bold enough to break free and break loose from the arguments to continue to masturbate.

Chronic Or Excessive Masturbation, Part 2: Breaking Its Power

stock-photo-crying-man-with-tears-on-face-closeup-1628823531 Corinthians 6:12-13 from the Amplified Bible says “Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.

Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but [is intended] for the Lord, and the Lord [is intended] for the body [to save, sanctify, and raise it again.]”

When it comes to chronic or excessive masturbation, in Dr. Patrick Carnes book on “In the Shadows of The Net,” “compulsive is a sign of addiction.” Compulsive is defined as an almost irresistible urge.”

Paul explains with sarcastic terms that “all things are lawful or permissible,” or that “all things is allowable.”

When it comes to sexual urges, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book on “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is hot wired for sex.” Dr. Struthers also says that Porn hijacks the brain.” 

The moment he thinks about it, he is sexually aroused. The moment something sexual enters his periphery, he is aroused. This puts that sexually aroused man in a state that he loses self control and acts out sexually in solo sex. Because that person he observed with lust has become a sexual object, the mind engages to find a way to have that person without touching them or engaging in the normal legal or Biblical process of developing a relationship towards marriage so that sex is legal.

Instead, he violates Matthew 5:27-30. He lusts after her in his heart to have her, but he somehow never goes through the Biblical process and engages his hands to manually stimulate himself to ejaculation.

The false intimacy world is the most difficult world to escape from because for most men, it gives him a false sense of security. In that he doesn’t impregnate the woman. He doesn’t acquire any STDs. And he doesn’t have to run the risk of being denied by her should the woman in the dating process never allow him first base.

First base these days is the bedroom.

With chronic or excessive masturbation, we see that a man must allow himself to be brought under “its power.” 

The word “power” is defined as “authority.”

So even though a person will declare that masturbation is permissible on the grounds of no Biblical prohibition, you still have to give your body over to masturbation. You give masturbation permission. You turn over control to be enslaved by masturbation. You come under its authority to be mastered by masturbation. Paul said, “I will not be brought under its power.”

In other words, Paul exercises dominion over his body not to be a slave to sin.

“For sin shall not have dominion over you for you are not under the law but under grace.”

Grace doesn’t excuse you to commit sin. Grace instructs you to fight against sin to remain free of it.

After masturbation, it’s too late to put up a fight.

Many of you have gotten to the point where you just couldn’t control yourself and you “make provision to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and mind.” Then you say to yourself that you are going to stop but who is fooling who? Usually this is remorse speaking and not repentance.

The mind begins to reason with itself that masturbation is not a sin. Although there is no Scripture in the Bible that emphatically declare that masturbation is a sin, there is one hurdle that men is never able to clear. In fact, you probably read articles about masturbation and how many men justify it as a healthy normal practice to release sexual tension. The question is asked by the Holy Spirit “Then why do you feel condemned?”

Romans 8:1-2 says There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus that walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”

The condemnation is a hurdle that is too high to clear.

Notice what John said in 1 John 3:20-22, “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”

Do you have confidence toward God after you masturbate? If you do have confidence after you’ve sinned, then 1 John 1:5-10 applies.

Genesis 4:6-7 says “So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”

God required a lamb and Cain brought fruit. God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s. Cain had that “condemned” feeling when the Lord rejected his offering but notice the progression from anger, to countenance fallen, to not doing well, to sin lying at the door. But also notice that even though sin desires you, you still have the power to rule (have dominion or govern) over it.

It’s like Abel gets married and he pleased God. Cain masturbates and God is not pleased (using it as an analogy, not that it happened). But the Lord teaches Cain how to please God. Cain you are angry, your countenance has fallen, Cain. Cain, you are not doing well. Cain, sin desires to have you but you can rule over masturbation.

The condemnation always happen. What chronic masturbators have mastered is the ability to suppress this condemnation in preparation to continue in sin. As long as we suppress this condemnation, we seek to continue in sin.

Sometimes, hopelessness sets in and something has to die.

When Cain was too upset to deal with it God’s way, he deceived himself into thinking that he could kill Abel. Cain held Abel responsible for his rejection.

This is what sexual immorality sometimes does from time to time. Men look to blame others for their own personal sins but there is a way to get out of that. Accept responsibility and rule over it.

You can’t do it alone.

You need help.

Solo sex is always about the individual and will exclude everybody. So in the same manner, most men believe that they could fix the issue themselves. More often than not, you are going to lose because the underlying issues that men hide require a set of impartial eyes and truthfully blatant objectivity.

There is no other beginning place except to get with a brother that will help you see your way out of darkness.

James said to Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.” 

When God asked Cain where his brother was, Cain’s answer is the answer for all men caught in the web of masturbation.

“Am I my brother’s keeper?”

When it comes to breaking the power of masturbation, you need someone to keep you honest.

For in the world of Secret Sexual Sins, the secrecy is what keeps us bound all the time.

As long as a man keeps his sexual secrets, he will never be free. The moment he exposes the secret to an individual he could trust or confide in, he can begin the process of dismantling the reason to be a slave to masturbation.