The Secret Life Of Sexual Sins

Romans 2:16 (NKJV) “… in the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel.”

We all assume that our secrets are safe. That no one will find out what we’ve done in secret. It’s in the hidden places that we find safety and security. That no one really knows who we are and what we’ve done.

The false sense of security that many professed believers have is that if we sin, we could quickly ask the Lord for forgiveness and it’s like we’ve achieved a free pass to cross into darkness, and then cross back into getting right with God in less than a second.

But if we really look at it, we’re abusing the grace of God.

What is it like before God?

Before the Lord, it looks like we could slap Him in the face and not get slapped back. We plea the blood of Jesus before His judgment gets a good head of steam to smack us.

Paul mentioned this about those that take communion.

1 Corinthians 11:27-32 (NKJV)

“Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.

For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”

How many times have I taken communion in an unworthy manner?

Thousands of times.

I remember the instruction of the Lord that was given to the man healed at the pool of Bethesda. The Lord Jesus instructed him, “Go, and sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.”

Is it possible to sin no more?

Absolutely. We can stop sinning anytime we want. Well, look at it like this. To sin, you have to stop being righteous.

Porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation is a stronghold that need to be completely demolished.

Many people struggle with porn and masturbation because it’s an intense pleasure with instant gratification without involving yourself with a person. But look carefully at what the Lord Jesus said about the thoughts of adultery in the hearts of people.

Matthew 5:27-28 (NKJV)

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matthew 15:18-20 (NKJV)

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man…”

You see, what the heart does is that we look to do things in secret and then it manifests outwardly.

Remember what James 1:14-15 (NKJV) says?

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

The place where we can’t see is where desire and enticement is conceived. It then takes us to the next level. It gives birth to sin. And deep inside, where it’s not seen, death takes place. A severance from life. But even worse.

The trap door of departure of this life. Go back to communion. One of the things that Paul said is that those that take communion. “Fall asleep.” This is the physical judgment of a sin not crucified or brought to the place of mortification.

Our secret lives will be brought out by Jesus and judged.

At the time of committing the sin, we’re not concerned about the Lord Jesus judging us. We’re concerned about fulfilling the desires of the flesh and mind. The pleasure it brings. But it’s a false pleasure. What we’ve done is that we’ve suppressed any sense of judgment because we’re looking forward to that pleasure of secret sexual sin.

But this happens all of the time.

After the climax, a sense of guilt hits us like a ton of bricks.

It’s our conscience informing us that we’ve sinned. No one escapes the conscience because the Lord placed this in us to let us know that we’ve sinned against Him. Just because you ignore it or even suppress it, doesn’t mean that it won’t tell on you.

1 John 3:20-22 (NKJV)

“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.”

“If our heart condemns us” is your conscience. The word science means knowledge.

Look at the etymological origin of the word.

“Middle English (also in the sense ‘inner thoughts or knowledge’): via Old French from Latin conscientia, from conscient- ‘being privy to’, from the verb conscire, from con- ‘with’ + scire ‘know’.”

So con (with) science (knowledge).

God placed this in you because you are with knowledge about right and wrong. As soon as you do something, your conscience will let you know whether it’s right or wrong.

So with porn and masturbation, you can argue to pursue it with some of the best arguments in the world, but your conscience will not agree with an argument that is wrong. Why? Because God created you with a conscience. Even if you didn’t know the Scriptures, the conscience will immediately inform you of what’s right or wrong.

Now Romans 3:20 we see that “…by the law is the knowledge of sin.”

But you already know that lying is wrong. You already know that murder is wrong. You already know that stealing is wrong. You already know that when you look at a man or woman with lust in your heart, it is wrong. You already know that when you’re hostile towards your father and mother, you’re wrong. You already know that when you’re on the witness stand and you bear false witness, you’re wrong. You know that when you use the name of the Lord in vain, you’re wrong. You already know that when you want what a person has and you’re willing to do anything wrong to take it, it’s wrong.

So it is with porn and masturbation.

The only reason why people watch porn is to pretend to have sex with that person or persons, to release sexual tension through masturbation.

You’re struggling with this because it’s so much apart of your life that everything revolves around it.

Everything suffers in order for you to achieve the pleasure with a false sense of impunity. You don’t think it will harm anyone because you’re doing it in secret to release sexual tension. But deep within you, your conscience is telling you that you’re wrong.

Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.

Could you honestly say that you have complete 100% confidence towards God?

To masturbate, you don’t need an image of another person. All you need is the ability to pretend to have sex.

2 Timothy 3:4-5 (NKJV)

“…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power.”

The world of fantasy is the world of being selfish.

It takes a complete willingness to do without this pleasure.

The Lord Jesus gives the solution. Radical amputation. Plucking out the eye(s), cutting off the hand(s) (see Matthew 5:29-30 and Hebrews 12:4). What are we willing to do to stop sinning sexually? To what lengths are we willing to avoid being cast into hell, soul and body?

When you have reached this place, porn and masturbation becomes a thing of the past because you don’t want to harbor secrets that the Lord will judge us for. We don’t want to assume that we’re saved and be found in hell because we were in sin all of the time.

Those that have a form of godliness are pretenders. Masquerading around as believers when all the time, we faked our way. Fooling others but never fooling the Lord.

Pretending ended for me when the Lord showed me the trap door. At anytime, I could have slipped through into hell because I loved sinning sexual sins in secret. Pretending to ask God for forgiveness but returning to sin again.

My request for forgiveness was a figment of my imagination. Pretending to be godly, but it was without power.

The trap door would have opened, I would have descended into hell, and I would have deserved it.

“The soul that sins it shall die.”

God doesn’t lie and He is deadly serious.

When You’ve Cross The Line

James 1:14-15 (NKJV Strong’s)

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

Adultery and fornication happens in the houses of worship because believers walk away from the Lord, remove their armor, and suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

This cuts to the chase.

A variety of reasons are contemplated.

When I was in the world of porn, I used a number of excuses to justify it.

Sometimes, a person doesn’t know how wounded they are. Or, they just love the pleasures associated with sexual immorality. You don’t have to have something wrong with you to engage in sexual immorality.

The results is death as explained in the Scripture mentioned above.

Sexual sins could be used as medicinal properties to make a person feel good.

Dr. Archibald Hart shared that sex is used as a “pick me up,” or to “reward” themselves for a job well done.

Just because sexual immorality is used as a pick me up when you’re depressed, it doesn’t excuse it. Sin will be judged unless repented of. Also, it doesn’t prevent the consequential reactions.

Two lives have been joined outside of holy matrimony between one man and one woman. As an example to the world, believers are held to the standard of the Word of God.

When we deliberately fail the standard, the world will accuse the Lord and place the blame on the Lord and the Word as the problem. The Lord holds us all accountable and our death seals our fate.

But when you’re single, divorced, or you’re a widow or widower, loneliness sets in and a person looks for companionship. Some look for one night stands with multiple partners. Others look for established or experienced males or females (established meaning married).

Predation takes place with males and females.

But the place where it all begins is lust.

The eyes and the minds of people.

At anytime, the person could be aroused and then engage in targeting the person.

Attraction through seductive means.

They’ll continue to put themselves in the right place for the attraction to work. It’s like fishing. If the fish isn’t biting, they’ll go elsewhere.

But according to, I believe H.B. London, or another man of God, HALT.

When you’re HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY OR TIRED, you need to stop before you cross the line.

Usually, when males are looking for sexual connections, they’re aroused by who comes through the door. When women are looking for sexual connections, they dress provocatively, or they’re very flirty.

But lurking underneath these things is the ones that are hungry, angry, lonely, and tired.

When the target is acquired, all of the normal connections that usually happen in marriage happens in sin. It’s natural for courting, that leads to engagement or contemplation of marriage (without sex), and then marriage, and then sex.

But as believers, we must refrain from turning ourselves into a house of prostitution.

Finally, Paul gave us the solution regarding sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 7.

When it comes to selection of males and females, 2 Corinthians 6:14 is the standard for believers.

But if a believer finds and unbeliever, Paul gives his personal advice that could be considered.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 (NKJV Strong’s)

“But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

Please note that the hypothetical that Paul shares gives no indication that a believing person sought an unbeliever. I won’t get into the line by line teaching of this passage, but it appears that they were already together.

I would err on the fact that it’s best to find believers that are compatible spiritually, and mentally. The sex part is common. It’s the spiritual and mental compatibility that will always be the issue.

As Amos 3:3 tells us “How can two walk together except they be agreed.”

So folks, adultery and fornication could be avoided by living for the Lord first, never surrender to satan by falling into temptation, keeping your heart with all diligence, keeping the armor of God on, and filling your heart with God’s Word.

Talk and pray with your strong saints and avoid places and things with sexual content.

When You Can’t Hold Out

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (NKJV Strong’s)

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

In many of our houses of worship, the flames are rising. We all know that single, divorced, and widowed people are flocking to the church. But many of them are burning with sexual passion.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NKJV Strong’s)

“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

But many don’t cross the line of marriage. They settle with having a one night stand. Men engage prostitutes, pornography and self gratification, commonly called masturbation. The same is true with women.

If we try to list some reasons why this is, we will miss some things however, as believers, we must refrain from the traps of the world and maintain our relationship with the Lord.

We must do things His way because the Lord has our best interests in mind.

To “remain” as Paul in being celibate, isn’t the route of most people so men and women have to cross the line and get married.

Sin carries a consequential judgment. The child of God breaks fellowship with God to engage with one moment of pleasure, and it’s not worth it.

David, though he had five wives, still engaged in adultery. In 2nd Samuel chapters 11 and 12, David was supposed to be overseeing the battle but remain in the City of Jerusalem. We all know the story. He committed adultery, fathered a child, David had Uriah killed in battle to cover his sin, and the Lord exposed him.

The child died because to let him live, it would have been seen as the Lord giving an endorsement to David’s depraved actions, and the child would have been heir to the throne of David.

According to Leviticus 20:10 (NKJV Strong’s)

“The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.”

David and Bathsheba should have been judged, but the Lord in 2nd Samuel 12:13, spared David of death. Many will argue that the Lord violated His own law. No. The Lord shows mercy to whomever He wants to show mercy.

Adultery and fornication is a major problem in the houses of worship.

The easy solution is what Paul recommended.

When you can’t hold out, get married.

One male. One female.

How To Stop Watching Pornography

As I was listening to a radio broadcast of a “Bible answer man,” no it’s not Hanegraaff, it was someone else. A listener called in to get answers about how to stop watching porn.

Watching porn is still a problem among believers today.

The majority of men that teach the Bible may not have gone through a personal situation where in their own lives, they’ve watched porn.

Not every man watches porn, but it’s sure close.

You could tell when a person watches porn, the Lord sets them free, and they humbly learn how to help other men get the freedom they cry for.

Then there’s the Bible teachers that never get enough information to help men get free. As I’ve said, not every man watches porn, but I am aware that not every Bible teacher knows how to minister grace and truth.

It’s very easy to give off the cuff answers when you haven’t gone through the process. This isn’t to say that this Bible answer man on Talk Radio on Sirius Radio, never went through an encounter of porn.

The other danger is that there’s plenty of Bible answer teachers and preachers that develop an arrogant, prideful, and haughty spirit.

I know.

I was one of them.

Just a few weeks after being delivered from porn, an “I’ll teach them” spirit came and then my accountability partner from “Setting Captives Free” gave me a very humiliating lesson.

He said to me, in words like………“Don’t teach me Bible knowledge.”

You see, it’s very easy to come off like you know all the Bible answers. And sometimes, we truly think we do. And come to find out that what’s in our head never matches what’s in our hearts.

Over the course of time, I began to see that we try to think we could help people and find that we’re inadequate, ill-equipped, unteachable, and at times, very nasty and angry.

This Bible teacher didn’t come off like this at all.

In fact, he was very kind, very careful with his words, very humble. He wasn’t prideful, arrogant, or nasty. He was very good in sharing with that man the forgiveness of sins.

He is to be commended for calmly talking about the aspect of forgiveness.

It’s very difficult to minister to men trapped in porn so what we need to do is gather as much information as we can about porn, but also arm ourselves with Scripture. Then we need to learn from those that were trapped in porn that broke free. We also need to learn from those that were never trapped in porn and how they worked with the Lord to stay free.

Too often, we just get a one sided view of dealing with pornography. What I mean is that only those that’s been in porn know how to deal with it, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Just as the Lord told Elijah, “there’s 7000 that never bowed their knee to Baal.”

It’s very difficult to admit that you have a porn problem.

90% plus of men will never admit they have a sins of the flesh problem.

And roughly 10% either initiated or completely fulfilled their desire to be free and even less than that remain free to this day.

You may ask, “Where did I get this figure from?”

A couple of years ago, I looked on “Setting Captives Free” to see how many people, male and female, attempted to deal with porn addiction. At that time, around 2011 or so, over 2 million clicked the sight but only 200,000 attempted to go through and complete the course.

I am an alumnus.

As with any addiction, sexual addiction in particular, it’s a very dirty, filthy habit. It destroys the morals of man, chokes off his relationship with God, and if he’s married, with his wife, cuts off his ministry, takes all his money and his time.

His life evolves around porn. If he’s not in his house watching porn, there’s plenty of substitute porn in the streets with scantily clad women in stores, restaurants, malls, church, work, and other places.

His mind is consumed with watching flesh.

And even if women are dressed modestly, he knows how to use his imagination to sexually objectify her.

The core of all porn is the lust in the heart of man.

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of God abides forever.”

James 1:14-15 (NKJV) “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

The desires within a man is what drives him to make provision to fulfill these lusts lurking within his mind and flesh.

Romans 13:14 (NKJV) “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

As long as man never addresses the lust in his heart, it’s very difficult to fight the urges and impulses lurking in his flesh.

Granted, some women do not make it easy but they’re not the core of the problem.

How does a man get free of porn?

Sadly, the images are filed in the mind of a man. From time to time, if we don’t “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ,” these thought or fantasies easily emerge. If we dwell on the thought instead of subdue these thoughts, sexual arousal will take place.

If we’re in the privacy of home, the job, in the car, it’s very easy to go from thoughts to actually stimulating ourselves. That is, to manipulate our sexual organs.

Sexual tension is on an avoidable collision course to be released.

The rest is history.

We go to John 5 with the man at the pool of Bethesda.

Jesus approached a man that was lame in his feet for 38 years, and asked him a very simple question. “Do you want to be made whole.”

To be whole means to be sound or to be restored to health.

While this is about the lame man’s physical condition, the same question could be asked about sexual addicts.

Those that are trapped in the clutches of porn.

Do you want to be sound? Restored to health?

Many men willingly acknowledge that porn is an issue but this question demands that you look at the condition, but few look beyond the condition to see that this will be a life long battle to maintain health after being made whole.

And if we were really honest, we will also admit that masturbation is inextricably connected to porn.

Men do not sit there, watch porn, and then shut off the show of flesh.

Men engage in make believe sex to satisfy the lust in his heart for that flesh.

It’s the one thing that keeps a man coming back for more porn.

And this is the core reason why many men, well over 90%, never be free.

The self satisfaction is of too greater value to walk away.

Romans 6:12-14 (NKJV Strong’s) “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

If you’re not prepared to cut off, in a radical way, the “ritual” of making provision “to fulfill the lusts of the flesh,” this is what brings men into a place of self imposed hopelessness and helplessness.

They abandon themselves to live a life of sexual sins that usually takes them further than where they’ve intended to go.

Sexual predators, serial rapists, child molesters.

Finally, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”

As long as men aren’t afraid of God and His commandments, sin is easy.

God gave Cain the answer he needed to conquer sin in his life….

Genesis 4:7 (NKJV Strong’s) “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”

You can rule lust in your heart.

But you can’t do it alone.

You need the help of the Holy Spirit.

The Weakened Believer – Secret Sexual Sins Has Zapped Our Strength

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The title of a Charisma article is a reminder. Although, I agree with the Charisma News article that Sexual Sins is weakening the Body of Christ, but I also agree with the fact that believers are already in a weakened position.

Why?

Jesus said in Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray lest you fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”

When we deliberately fail to watch and pray, the devil watches and we become his prey.

Since “The War Room” movie, I am assessing the strength of our local church. And I am also assessing if lasting change has been instituted to endure to the end. After a powerful movie, sometimes our emotions will compel us to initiate things. However, stemming from my own life, such grand promises require “stay with it power” to see it through to the end. It is then that we can properly assess our desire to stay with what was started in us by the Lord, or throw in the towel, and quit.

In Philippians 1:6, Paul says “…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

But the Lord is not going to do it without your compliance to His will, expressed in His Word.

Jesus said in Luke 18:1 Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart,”

Galatians 6:9 says “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

Faster and faster, we are seeing believers that regain their strength, and then in an instant, they lose it all in one moment of evil passion. Just as fast as they promise the Lord that they would never do that sin again, they slip back into the mud pit. I know what it’s like to climb out of sexual sins just to slip back in quickly.

1 Peter 5:8-9 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”

Sexual sins have devoured many strong and weak saints.

The media has pushed illicit sexual freedom and immorality upon the world and the professed believers in the church allowed the opposite of Psalm 101:3 be their favorite Scripture.

They have set wicked things before their eyes.

When you sit in front of the TV, Internet, or other forms of media, you are wide open for a covert and overt assault from satan to trip you up in your flesh and mind.

No child of God is strong enough to withstand the attacks of the enemy when you are outside the secret place of the Most High. When you are outside of the name of the Lord, which is a strong tower where the righteous run into it and they are safe, you are vulnerable.

James 4:7-10 says “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double- minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” 

The more we are drawn away from God, we are drawn towards darkness.

Few realize that the ultimate goal of the enemy is to pull you into hell. The “cares, riches, and pleasures of this life” is designed to pull you out of God and heaven, and plunge you into hell forever.

The vision of satan is expressed through all forms of media. As long as we can see it and deceive ourselves into thinking that it will not affect us, we are caught in the snare of satan’s lies. Strongholds are developed, and we fight to keep these strongholds instead of fighting to destroy them with the Word of God.

It’s amazing how many baseless excuses we make to keep a sin that no longer has power over us. We will deceive ourselves into thinking that we are good and that God is good with it.

Foolish thinking.

God was never good with sin. He proved that on day one in heaven when lucifer and a third of the angels attacked. The angels that didn’t defect threw them all out and there was no place found for them. The revolt was so powerful that their were angels that were chained with everlasting chains and placed under darkness, reserved for judgment later.

Jude and verse 6 says, “And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day;”

So it’s not just about sexual sins. It’s about getting believers in Jesus to defect and get them to throw away their salvation.

That one moment of sexual pleasure outside of the confines of holy matrimony is that one moment that satan was waiting for.

Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but adulterers and fornicators God will judge.”

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 tells us that “fornicators….adulterers…will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

The weaker we become, the less likely we will choose to stand and fight. We allow our flesh to rule us to the point of overruling the Word of God and the Holy Spirit in us. We enter into hopelessness, hoping that God would not condemn us.

Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free form the law of sin and death.”

As long as I walk in liberty as I obey the Word of God with the help of the Holy Spirit, I cannot be condemned.

If you keep finding yourselves under the power of sexual sin, turn to 1 Corinthians 10:13. The Holy Spirit will always make a way of escape. Thing is, are you willing to obey Him and take that way of escape?

Sin is a choice.

Decisions Determines Destiny.

What you decide to do has eternal consequences and ramifications.

If you are without strength,

(1) you need to go cold turkey and get on your knees to God in repentance and prayer.

(2) Then you need to be around strong men that either never walked in Secret Sexual Sins or were delivered a while (no less than three years free of porn and masturbation).

(3) Then you need to maintain your deliverance by not showing off to others in trying to teach them with less than three years of freedom yourself. Humility and humbleness of mind will keep you from being humiliated by God.

(4) Diligently apply the Scriptures daily, observing to do all that is written in the Word of God.

As Paul said, “Not a novice, lest being lifted up in pride he fall into the snare and condemnation of the devil.”

While the deliverance of the Lord is instantaneous, the maintenance of the deliverance is where the battle is won or lost. More often than not, it is lost during maintenance where a person is slowly drawn away from holiness back into sin. The excitement wears off and that’s where a man is more vulnerable to fall into sin after being tempted.

Like Samson, the locks on your hair is cut off, consecration is cast aside, your eyes are gouged out as you are tied between the post and made sport of. Acknowledge that you’re without strength, you are weak, and that you need God, and over time, the Lord will renew your strength like the eagles.

The Charisma News article could be read here.

10 Deadly Sins Of Leaders Falling Into Secret Sexual Sins: #8 Failure To Let The Word Of God Dictate

Just a note before I begin.

The past few weeks, since I suspended writing for a season, it was extremely trying for me. Faced with potential illness in me and my family, financial pressures, and other issues, were surrounding me and that left me with the best option. Seeking the face of God.

In the middle of all this, the devil tempted me on FB with scantily clad women in the ad section and right there, I knew that the enemy was trying to set the trap to tempt me to engage in Secret Sexual Sins. Porn and masturbation.

But as David said, “Yes, in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me…”

We all know that the shadow of death means that something or someone is about to kill you. In order for a shadow to be cast, there must be light and the light shines on the person to cast that shadow. When David said, “For you are with me…” God clothed Himself in light (Psalm 104:2). It was His light that shined on the person trying to cause death.

No, it wasn’t a physical death threat in the natural made upon my life but when you are told to put on the armor of light, it’s not a beauty contest you are going to.

Each day is a fight to the death. Something has to die and someone has to live. Colossians 3:5 tells us to mortify the deeds of the flesh.”

A really crucified life spares nothing.

The challenges that we face in this life can kill a person. It can kill a relationship in the Lord and it can destroy family cohesion. It is good sometimes to back away and assess what is going on and operate in the prudence and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

Since the last time I left off, up to this point, the devil had nothing in me. I like that when Jesus said it in John 14:30. When you pursue the Lord, Paul wants us to “…..learn Christ.”

Paul also said that “I may be made conformable to His death.”

Paul also said that “he never apprehended Christ.” That is, Paul never fully grasped Christ. Paul was still searching after Him, to know Him in power of His resurrection being made conformable to His death.” Moses, when He was before the Lord, even though he’s seen the glory of the Lord before, wanted to see the glory of the Lord again.

This is how our pursuit of God must always be. No matter how many times we have prayer at prayer meeting, and no matter how many times we see the Word of God, a freshness comes from the presence of the Lord as Peter said, “…that times of refreshing may come forth from the presence of the Lord.”

To keep the enemy out of you, you must keep the Lord before you, in you, through you, never to let God leave out of you.

God was teaching me that I do not have to yield to the sins of the flesh when trying times are before us. Just because there is stuff going on, it doesn’t mean that I engage in sexual sins to pass the time. Too many of us forfeit the hand of God working on our behalf in things that we need God to move on. God never moves in spite of our sins.

Especially when we know better. So when there is a trying situation, it is the time to pause and really assess your relationship with the Lord. Never let circumstances dictate to you what you shouldn’t be doing. Always let the Word dictate to you how to behave before the presence of the Lord in trying times. I’m told by Pastor Roger Jamison that the devil will wait you out to see if you will change your mind. To see if your “NO” is still a very emphatic, ear piercing, holy “NO!”

The moral will of God must be so strong in you that before you say “no,” the devil flees, because the devil comes to steal the Word like a bird taking seeds (see Luke 8:11-15) The devil can’t stand the praise of God that’s behind your “NO!” When you say “no,” all he sees is the greater One on the inside of you during the 40 days that Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. Can you say, without a shadow of doubt….“It is written?

Victory over sin is not cheap and neither is the fight to stay free of sin. A price is aways to be paid.

So, in this 8th installment, (I hope I got it right that it’s number 8, right? lol),

Pastors fall into Secret Sexual Sins because they refuse to let the Word of God dictate how to live in situations. It took me a long while to learn how to never let the circumstances drive me to look for relief. Releasing sexual tension in sexual immorality as a means of making me feel better about things is the wrong way to go.

The Bible says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

So instead of delighting in the flesh, I delight myself in the presence of God.

Many of us go through seasons of having desires and things do not pan out as planned. We get into situations that seem like it is impossible for God to do anything about it.

These are moments not to look to sin against God but to live in righteousness against the devil.

Lurking in the shadows behind the circumstances is the temptation to sin against God. You must resist him, as Peter said, stedfast in the faith. This is no time to be fooling around in the mud pen of sin.

We get into a waiting game and we want to get this waiting thing over with. Lo and behold, a hot beauty comes walking into our peripheral vision. The devil sometimes tempts us in the small things to get a reaction. How long you look at a man or woman and the intent of looking, determines why you are looking in the first place.

Temptation comes about because of the desires we have that must be subdued by prayer and fasting. Unbridled lust in the heart and mind is your personal play pen that must be dismantled (see 2 Corinthians 10:3-5). When we are struggling to keep ourselves, it’s because we have allowed the struggle to brew and stew. To get past the struggle is never easy. In fact, as long as we are in the tabernacle, we will continue to struggle. However, the intensity of the struggle has a thermostat attached to it. And the Lord has His hand on the situation to never allow temptation to go past a certain level.

1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us….“No temptation has taken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

When the Word doesn’t dwell in us richly in all wisdom (see Colossians 3:16a) for ourselves, that’s when the god of this world turn up the intensity of the issue or issues. That’s when we have to make a deliberate decision not to turn on something to watch that will open the door to sexual immorality. We have to make a deliberate decision not to touch ourselves sexually. We have to make a deliberate decision never to let situations get the best of us.

That’s what I’ve learned this time around. It was a great lesson. Major lesson. Now like Paul said, we must never get giddy about passing this test because if you are a veteran, you know that something else is coming. No rest. No breaks. You stay sharp by staying in prayer and the Word. And when prompted by the Holy Spirit, or should you do it on your own, be prepared to fast.

Flesh and the devil don’t like it but you have to do what you gotta do to make it through every temptation.

Never, under any circumstance, let the situation dictate to you what you should be doing. The Word governs and dictates the outcome.

When God looks at you, the outcome should never be in doubt.

Thanks to all of you who are still reading my previous blogs, words cannot express the gratitude.

And yes……..it is good to be back writing again, praise God.

Pastoral Moral Failure: All Too Common

Alas, another pastor that love and possibly, worship sex more than loving God and maintaining the sanctity of his call to the ministry.

Like many of us, we ruin ourselves in secret before we are exposed. In a chapter in my book called Secret Sexual Sins, there is a chapter called, “Come Clean. Or Be Exposed!” This is what the Lord said to me before I repented.

There are many pastors that live secret lives. Let me reiterate a statistic. There are over 300,000 churches in the United States. 50% of pastors struggle with porn. That means 150,000 churches have pastors that are living in Secret Sexual Sins.

I was one of those pastors until December, 2008.

My friend, Pastor DL Foster posted about another pastor falling (courtesy of Charisma.com) because of Secret Sexual Sins.

You can read the article by clicking this link.

http://www.charismanews.com/us/34772-pastor-isaac-hunter-admits-to-adultery-with-former-stafferavailable

A few of us pastors agree. It is now a regular occurrence. It’s been 4 years since the Lord delivered me from porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation.

Why do I mention this?

Few articles really get to the nitty gritty of a pastor’s Secret Sexual Sins. Many of you are so stunned when you read of a married pastor, with children, committing adultery, but rarely do we discover the fuel of adultery. Rightfully so, Pastor Foster points out that the root cause is the undisciplined pastor’s heart, also known as the fruit of the Spirit, called “self control,” as the root cause of moral failure.

What goes undetected is the Secret Sexual Sins occurring in the life of a pastor. The discovery of adultery is just the exposure of a deeper problem that rarely is discussed.

Porn and masturbation in the life of a pastor.

The other two things that is not noted is the sexual immoral woman that the book of Proverbs speaks of, and the wife, and kids affected by this momentary laps of judgment.

We are to avoid the sexually immoral women like the plague. Now, not every woman is sexually immoral, but there are predator pastors that take advantage of emotionally unstable women in church.

Then again, there are women that strategically, and deliberately intend to use their femininity to secure the love of a pastor. Not to mention that there are Jezebels on assignment to sexually sacrifice their body for church power.

In Dr. Betty Price’s book “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives, and Their Mistresses,” she warned of the constant battle in the local church of pastors seeking illicit sex from women in and outside the church. In her book, she pointed out that there are many women that intentionally hunt down pastors. Sitting in the front row to intentionally get the pastor’s attention, sexually, in no uncertain terms, is one of the main ploys of sexually immoral women. In one instance, Dr. Betty Price told of a story of a woman that went right into Dr. Fred Price’s office on pretense of receiving pastoral counseling, and straight up solicited him for sex. Because of Dr. Fred Price’s spiritual discipline, being strong in spirit, he resisted her temptations.

That’s why as a rule for me, I never counsel women, and I never counsel women alone. I’d rather lose them to another church and pastor than to risk any appearance of evil. Suit yourselves but I refuse to counsel women alone. Brothers, you are not that strong and you should never fool yourself.

Dr. Betty Price shared that those that successfully engage a weak willed pastor, were mesmerized by the “anointing” on a pastor’s life and Dr. Betty Price indicates that this is the one thing that attracts women to a pastor. After these women have sex with a single or married pastor that one time, that mesmerization departs.

They are no longer infatuated with that anointed man of God.

But as with all women, connection and then to disconnect, unless you are a harlot, is not that easy. Dr. Betty Price counseled several women, caught in the web of sexual sins to leave that preacher. And they do not. Churches are left with a house of harlots with the pastor as the head pimp.

In the book, “Betrayal Of Trust,” the introduction in the book speaks of a Brooklyn, NY pastor in Brooklyn Heights, in the late 1890’s was accused of adultery. The woman lost her husband and it’s been a she said he said kind of issue. After accusations when flying, and a church meeting, the church sided in with the pastor that nothing went on. They swept the issue under the rug. And this is the long standing policy of churches. That when someone is verifiably caught or if there is a hint of sexual immorality, the issue is swept under the rug. The pastor remains in the pulpit and everything is “hunky-dory.”

Getting back to the book, one of the most outstanding observations is that pastors that are caught in the act of adultery are either predators or wanderers.

A predator is one that sexually hunts for one woman after another. No different than a serial rapist. Then the wanderer is one that strays from his wife for a one night stand. But even as a wanderer, solicitation of multiple prostitutes is part of a wanderer until it enters sexual addiction level three where the criminal element heightens the orgasmic experience. That criminal element involves being a serial rapist to child porn, to child homosexuality.

But few look behind the scene and discover a pastor’s secret life of porn and masturbation.

In the above story by Charisma, it may be possible that Pastor Hunter may not have been involved in porn and masturbation. We do not have the facts regarding this. But we know that in most cases, acting out has a starting point. And it usually is porn and masturbation.

The Lord Jesus reveals Secret Sexual Sins when a man looks at a women to lust after her, that he committed adultery with her in his heart (see Matthew 5:27-28).

In Dr. Patrick Carnes’ cycle of addiction, it all begins with “thoughts or fantasies.” Then it goes to ritual. Then it goes to “acting out.” Then it goes to “remorse.”

I mentioned this because the top of sexual addiction begins with thoughts and fantasies. I will point out that not every one is sexually addicted.

Sexual addiction is the inability to control, manage, or stop yourself from sex or masturbation.

When you cannot stop looking at a woman sexually, it is lust and it is adultery. Job 31:1 says, “I have made covenant with my eyes, why would I look on a handmaiden?”

When a man cannot stop looking lustfully at a woman, this is where the core or root problem is (see James 1:14-15). The lack of discipline in this regard is 100% behind pastoral moral failure. It is indicative of a lack of intimacy in prayer with God. The late Dr. Ed Cole, the father of the modern day men’s movement with the Christian Men’s Network, said, “Prayer produces intimacy with God.”

E. M. Bounds said, “A prayerless pulpit begets a prayerless pew.”

Preachers can act out ministerial at the drop of a hat. You can’t fool your way through prayer.

It’s the same with singing for God, or being a music minister for God, or being a church secretary for a pastor.

He is not the first and he certainly won’t be the last. With immorality overrunning the church where the demonic LGBT agenda is being swallowed whole by sinning pastors, helping to cause the church to renounce the righteousness of God, the more pastors fail the standard, the argument from the world holds a form of truth.

We are hypocrites.

Finally, the wife and kids affected by the adulterous pastor. It is clear that betrayal on this level has brought embarrassment and confusion to his family. The wife in the moment loses her self esteem, dignity, and honor. It will take time to ask God for grace to get through the initial and long term affects of her husband’s foolish act of sexual pleasure.

The wife will experience the devil bringing a lot of questions to her mind. The devil with suggest to her that she is not as beautiful as the secretary or porn stars he’s been watching. The devil will suggest to her that her bedroom inadequacy and unavailability for sex was due to her increased workload was the cause. The devil will bring up past arguments that led to a husband’s cold shoulder.

And more things like God is not going to repair the marriage. That God doesn’t love her. And on and on. But this is the moment where whatever is brought to your mind, is to be refuted by the Word of God. She will need to confide in another woman of God, in a safe environment, that will objectively deal with her in a compassionate manner. The road to her healing is long and difficult. At this stage, it is recommended that difficult decisions be put off and just get through the moment of the infidelity with the grace and love of God.

The kids need to be told the truth, depending upon their ages. They must understand that what their daddy did was sin and that it wan’t in God’s plan. That sexual sin is of the devil. If at all possible, they need to be cared for while the process is ongoing. They must experience some semblance of normalcy as possible. Professional Christian help is available and should be sought as reasonably quick as possible.

It’s not the end and God’s grace can get you through the moments. Wives that experience this horrendous act must never place blame on themselves. They must get through the moment and allow God to work with them where they are.

Church. Let’s do a better job in our sanctification. Let’s get closer to God in prayer and obedience to the Word.

This does not have to be common.

Preventing Moral Failure In The Pulpit

Moral failure!

It’s code for a pastor that had illicit sex with someone.

So let’s not trip out about the language of moral failure. Whether it’s a church secretary, a Jezebel, or he took advantage of an emotionally unstable woman, it is the most egregious act of a person of professional trust.

The sad thing is that in some churches, these things are covered up, and swept under the unholy carpet of church. To save a minister, his marriage, and his ministry is more important than discovering hidden secrets.

Psalm 90:9 says,

“You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”

Discovery of a pastor’s sins doesn’t occur after moral failure is declared. You have to go into the secret lives of men to find that moral failure occurred a long time before the incident.

It is there that we find his unbridled lusts, evil desires, and expedient life.

Few of us realize that the anointing covers a person’s flaws and failures so well. Preachers that sin sexually count on the fact that they are undetected. This is a work of deception that causes a pastor to be more daring and take further risks to satisfy sexual desires.

On the other side of this are vulnerable women that are not disciplined enough to refuse the sexual advances of her pastor. Some sexually immoral women are opportunists too. Others get caught up in the moment of unbridled lusts themselves. Holy pastors have to be very careful. Now whether sexually immoral women come on assignment or they are emotionally unstable, it is important to point out that men do take advantage.

In the book, Betrayal Of Trust, the sexually motivated male pastor is either a wanderer or a predator. 

Today, there are more predators than wanderers. Even so, there are female predators that hunt passively. Pastors use their professional position to lure women to the bedroom. Power is sometimes irresistible and it’s important to separate the power from the person of power. All pastoral power is delegated. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. When a pastor exercises too much power over a person’s life, there is no question that sex is to be, and will eventually be demanded.

When you give a pastor too much control, or when a pastor is “headstrong,” they will make sexual demands. It’s a matter of time. But thank God for the wisdom of God and the exposing power of God.

Conversations that turn a different way other than the Word of God is bound to be consumed in the mind, entertained in the heart, and acted upon.

Bathsheba was a classic example.

We do not know what would have happened if she would have resisted David’s advances. In all actuality, she could have refused to come to the door. David sent men to fetch her. What if she would have ignored the knock on the door? Or what if she would have somehow sent a message to her husband on the battlefield? She obviously kept her pregnancy hidden. Urriah may have slept on his porch. But what held back Bathsheba from opening the door to explain to her husband what happened? There is not enough evidence to assume that she sexually led David on as she was bathing and we do not know how many times David observed her lustfully in his heart.

Nonetheless, the act of adultery was one worthy of the death of both Bathsheba and David.

Leviticus 20:10 says…..

“The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.” 

Yes. We didn’t think about that, did we?

Remember, David had five wives. There was no need for him to pursue another woman.

Moral failure/adultery/fornication has its origin in the private, hidden lives of men.

When a man fails to renew his mind, he will fill his mind with his lusts. In addition to his lusts, he will act out these lusts in self gratification, commonly called masturbation, or he will find a warm body.

The power of his thoughts compels him to lose judgment and seek a way to fulfill his fantasy. For the most part, most women know when pastors watch a woman, it’s a fault of the undisciplined pastor’s heart and mind.

Proverbs 6:23-25 says,

“For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”

Prevention of moral failure begins with what is a pastor doing in his private moments.

If he is watching women, watching porn, and gratifying himself, or having self sex issues, this is where it all begins. The culmination of a moral failure is the act of adultery. When discovery of cheating on his wife or acting out sexually is now a known fact, it’s the tip of the iceberg. It’s the shallow ground. It’s the surface of something much bigger and deeper.

Solomon loved many women. According to 1 Kings 11:3, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines. 1000 women. Talk about sexual obsession. This was Solomon’s own version of porn.

Until you get to the heart of the problem, we will always seek to keep what really goes on, hidden and the problem will resurface many times over.

How to prevent moral failure?

Pastors that lead isolated lives are the most vulnerable. If he doesn’t have friends, he will live in sin. This is called accountability. Measurable accountability.

What is measurable accountability?

Effective accountability allows for the discovery of certain activities that are evident in the life of a person coming out of sexual addiction. Both, the person rendering an account and the person helping a person to be accountable allows a time to bring out of his heart what may be things that start a person down a path of sexual sins.

I believe that accountability must be without coercion, manipulation, and control. I also believe that accountability must be safe for a pastor. Too often, accountability brings fear but under the right conditions, healthy accountability with seasoned wisdom, should quell all fears.

When a pastor or any man is afraid to talk about the hidden parts of his life, he doesn’t want accountability to turn into a witch hunt. Sometimes this witch hunt chases a person away from accountability. Sometimes it’s not an indication that something is going on but chances are, it may very well be.

Pastors with Secret Sexual Sins are very good at concealing their hearts and mind though spiritual talk. Such spiritual talk is surface talk that never permits deeper questioning. Anger, bitterness, resentment, and other negative emotions are also used to prevent further questioning. Disappearing and running from places of accountability is another tactic of avoidance.

On the other hand, when a person is looking for someone, and it is constant, it’s best to leave the situation and not resume until they come out. And when they do, it is not the time to attack them and eat them alive. It is the time to let the person that is being held accountable to confess on his own. Otherwise, you will chase him away. One of the things that has to be done is that we must never let an accountability session turn into an “I got you, sucker” moment.

Moments have to be carefully picked so as not to chase them away. There may be times where nothing has to be said because they know it and you know it. Eventually, it will come out, if any thing. If nothing happened, just keep it moving. Even if the Spirit of God showed you. If they are in denial, it’s just a matter of time before conviction sets in. And even if they do not confess, we are not God. God uses every moment and opportunity to get a person to be right before Him and not before us.

Men that feel that you are fishing for dirt will run from places of accountability. However, there have to be tough questions asked. Especially when there is a avoidance issues. Or when there is questionable issues that are left unresolved.

When it comes to accountability, it should be a place where God and His Word is ministered in love. And the truth is always to be ministered in love. We must love a person enough to tell them the truth whether they want to hear it or not.

The purpose of discovery is to expose hidden trip wires and mechanisms that lead down a path where sin is easily engaged.

Self accountability never works. An isolated person cannot make up the rules of accountability. Therefore, pastors must seek independent verifiable people to help him through the process of accountability in a truthful, honest, manner.

Under the right conditions, moral failure can be prevented. Provided that the right rule and measure is in place.

James says…

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

The thing that must also happen is that after a season of watching them grow, unless they are a basket case, there comes a time where they have to put everything they’ve learned together. In other words, they need to be trusted. If you see that they are still wet behind the ears, they will need your accountability calls. But when they have put it all together, then they have to walk out their salvation.

Like James says, “We all stumble in many things…” but the key is to watch them enough to encourage them, coach them, help them along, and guide them enough. They have to get to the point where they have to walk on their own with little to no supervision. Until then, if they are not ready for the next step, they must willingly yield to accountability.

Most institutions and circles agree to two years of walking free of sexual addictions, same and opposite sex attractions from lust and all before ministering to others.

I agree.

In looking at the man of the tombs, we do not know how long he stayed with Jesus but eventually Jesus had to cut him loose. And this is the part that we must be prepared to do. Cut them loose and let them go. Eventually, they have to walk. Sometimes holding them in a place may be detrimental to their ability to trust the Scriptures for themselves, but sooner or later, it must happen.

Moral failure is preventable. And we must do everything we can to make sure that we keep the devil out of our lives, marriages, and ministries.

Battling Sexual Thoughts: The Real Spiritual Warfare, Part 2

“What are you doing with your moments, son?”

What you do with the time you spend determines what you are bound to or free from. The Lord asked me this question when I first came out of Secret Sexual Sins because my flesh demanded to know “what are we going to do now that you have stopped?

We are going to serve God in righteousness and true holiness.

November of 2008 was the last time that I watched porn and masturbated to porn but masturbation remained in me until December 3, 2009 with a few relapses afterwards.

Without going through a complete story (because I want to share with you what finally worked to kill and deprive porn and masturbation), masturbation, for me, was the most difficult habit to break because over the years, you develop a oneness or connectedness to a sinful habit.

Here’s the reasons.

1. Lusts of the flesh and mind.

James 1:14-15 says….

“But each man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is full grown, brings forth death.”

1 John 2:15-17 says….

“Do not love the world or the things in the world, If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he that does the will of God abides forever.”

All things has a source. Sin always has a source. From within us abides the nature of the devil, if we are not born again.

If we are born again, we haven’t learned to deaden and deprive sin’s power by strict obedience to the Word of God. No other worldly psychological or physiological explanation is plausible, excusable, or is to take the ascendancy over the Word of God regarding God’s perfect explanation as to why man commits sin.

Sinning is a choice of the human will. At anytime you can stop.

If you are driving a car and you see a red light or a stop sign, you stop. Right?

When you are crossing the street and you see a car coming, you stop. Right? 

When you are full of food, you stop eating. Right?

You’ve just proved that you can stop.

It’s the same with sin.

You can stop.

God condemned sin in the flesh of Jesus according to Romans 8:3 to spiritually deprive its power to overcome man. Through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ, when we obey the Word of God, we deprive sin’s ability to overcome us (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). So now, it’s a matter of obedience to the Word of God for those that are in Christ.

For the unsaved, it’s a matter of obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ to repent and turn from sin, and be born again through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, according to 2 Corinthians 5:17, I am a “new creature in Christ.”

New creatures do not do old tricks.

2. Chemical Dependency

I was operating as my own personal pharmaceutical, looking to heal myself of soulish wounds inflicted by many people over the course of time. Self sex was a form of medicinal properties, that when I needed to love me or feel that I am loved, to excite me, to release sexual tension, I physically and soulishly “shot up.”

Pun intended.

Self sex became my way of being my own physician instead of relying totally upon God and His Word. It also became a way to express self love to me when I falsely believed that no one loved me. And in some ways or not, I thought that God didn’t even care, but deep down I knew that He did. I just didn’t trust Him to do what He said He would do for ME in His Word.

Sometimes you get so wounded that lies become truth and we know that all lies from the devil will never have an ounce of truth in them.

There are four chemicals that are connected to sex in men (of course there are others but we will stick to these basic chemicals).

Adrenaline, testosterone, vasopressin, dopamine.

Adrenaline and testosterone revs up the physical engines, vasopressin maintains blood flow to the penis to maintain an erection, and the final chemical, “dopamine,” is the pleasure or reward chemical. I was told by an EMT that vasopressin could make a rock get hard. It’s used to jumpstart the heart with heart attack patients. When climax by ejaculation takes places (coming), also known as the “point of no return,” dopamine is excreted into the blood stream and rapidly gives the brain what I call the “Ooooo’s and Ahhhhhh’s” of sex. The pleasure of pleasures.

3. Trigger Mechanisms

The episodes of life, when they happen, can trigger a man to retreat to places of isolation, separation, seclusion, independence, disconnections, and secrecy.

Proverbs 18:1 NKJ says…

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.”

Anger, bitterness, rejections, frustrations, disappointments, disillusionments, soul pain, mental anguish, monetary troubles, employment troubles, bad relationships, strained relationships, and the list goes on and on.

I’ve identified some of these in my own life and found that when these things happen, I want to feel good…quickly. So self sex became the way to deal with these trigger mechanisms.”

When the Word of God is not permitted to manage our emotions, the enemy knows how to use these mechanisms to get us to mismanage our soul and bodies.

So with these things in mind, the Lord pinpointed somethings that I was doing that kept the door to self sex open. The question that you read at the beginning of this blog is critical to any man’s deliverance.

If you are not paying attention to your life on a moment by moment basis, you are not going to be successful.

Remember what Proverbs 4:23 says,

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs or flows the issues of life.”

Sex was constantly on my mind. And the objectification of the opposite sex was my infatuation and obsession. But in reality, all of this were temple ornaments or trinkets. 

I was really worshipping my ability to get off.

I was worshipping the temple.

In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Paul said this….

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have of God, and you are not your own?

When a man is not worshipping God, he will worship himself and self sex was my way of worshipping me. It’s crazy and it even doesn’t make sense, but look at what Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:2-3, partial quotes….

“For men will be lovers of themselves…without self control…lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God…”

Here’s another witness in terms of a different group of people Paul was ministering to.

Romans 1:22-23 from the New Living Translation, Paul says….

“Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead. And instead of worshipping the glorious, ever living God, they worshipped idols made to look like mere people, or birds, and animals, and snakes.”

The most detestable idol ever made was the Asherah.

According to 2 Chronicles 15:16, Asa made reforms and removed his own mother from being queen mother because “she had made an obscene image…”

Nothing is left to the imagination here.

According to Adam Clarke’s Commentary, we find these words based on the various translations and ancient commentaries. Please note the Rabbinical commentary of Solomon Jarchi.

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

“Besides, he removed Maacha, his mother from her kingdom, because she had made a high tree into an idol.” ARABIC

“Also he removed Maacha, his mother, from the kingdom, because she had made a horrible statue; and our rabbis say that it was called miphletseth (a fright or terror), because maphli leytsanutha, it produced wonderful ridicule; for she made it ad instal membri virilis, and she used it daily.” AUTHOR- RABBI SOLOMON JARCHI

Another definition from another source implies that it was licentious in nature. Licentious meaning, “lacking moral discipline; especially sexually unrestrained.”

The idol in question was part of sexual rituals because many commentaries insinuate or give to understand the fact that this idol was worshipped with “impure rites.”

In another commentary, many Asherah poles were “phallic” symbols.

Phallic, meaning erect penis.

Meaning that gross sexual immorality took place in the high places of the land of Canaan. The very people that Israel was supposed to completely annihilate so that their detestable sinful habits would not contaminate the children of Israel.

And you wonder where sex toys came from?

Remember, the Canaanites were descendants of Ham. Black folk. It doesn’t mean that sexual immorality started with Black folk because you have to go back to Genesis chapter six to understand that perverseness was found in every man until the floods of Noah.

If the stretch of the imagination is to be reached, she carved a tree into a terribly obscene sex toy. Should I be wrong, and I hope I am, then, this was a waste of brain power. But if this is true, just imagine the disgusted visage of God.

There is nothing more impure or obscene than sexual immorality. Nothing.

Men are stimulated by sight and is aroused to touch what he observes. Mind sex, also called lust and adultery, is just teasing the brain, and when there is no control, “provision” is made to release sexual tension.

And when a man is touched sexually, arousal takes place. With porn, it’s all fantasy. You are pretending to have sex with an image that is not there. But you begin to touch yourself sexually to make up the for the lack of another person touching you.

As a side note, married men masturbate more than singles. Most married men thought that since they are married, they could have all the sex they want and never have the need to masturbate.

Not true.

Married men want more sex. And when the wife is not at home,or she is not willing to give her hubby man some sex, or they had a fight or argument, or something bad happened to him on the job, or any where. Or when he feels he’s done a good job and wants to reward himself, he turns to the physical pleasures of all pleasures.

SEX!!!!

When he desires sex, he will do everything in his power to get it. And he may have a very pleasurable, rewarding sex life with his wife but does some extracurricular sex via masturbation to keep himself “happy.”

And he may even develop excuses like…

1. My wife is tired, mad, angry, away with mother in law, sick.

2. Masturbation keeps me from committing adultery (Matthew 5:27-30).

Sex was designed by the Lord to fulfill the “one flesh” principle in Genesis 2:24. Masturbation violates that principle because sex was designed to be shared with your wife of the genuine opposite sex (transgender is another subject).

This is sexual addiction level one.

Remember, you are only addicted when you cannot control, stop, or manage sex. Even if you can control and manage self sex, or when and how many times you masturbate, if you cannot stop, you are bound.

Jesus said, “He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”

To be free from something means you have no desire or intent to return to the place of bondage. Paul said, “For he who has died has been freed from sin.”

Have you ever seen a prisoner, in the natural, complete his time of incarceration and return through the door he came out of? We know that after a while, he or she commits another crime and returns to serve time for the new crime, but we are talking about a person that committed a crime, did the time, walks out of the prison, and returns in a few seconds.

The same principle applies.

If you are free, you have no desire to return to the prison cell.

So the Lord asked me a question…

“What are you doing with your moments, son?”

The porn was very easy to stop but it is not easy to stop porn in the mind. After viewing thousands and thousands of sexual episodes, it makes it difficult to press the stop button.

Remember 1 Thessalonians 5:23?

Spirit, Soul, Body?

Two out of three is eternal.

The spirit and the soul of man.

Because of Adam’s transgression, the body is subject to die physically. But remember, Adam died spiritually first (see Romans 5:12). He was disconnected from God and his mind became a storage facility of perversion.

Battling Sexual Thoughts: The Real Spiritual Warfare, Part 1

Sex, under the scope, rule, and law of God is not bad, in and of itself. As you know, God created male and female to be joined together in holy matrimony according to Genesis 2:24. That they shall be one flesh.

These are dark days and we need to understand that when it comes to the depravity of men’s minds, there is no depth or limits where man will go to fulfill a mental fantasy just to get the right emotion to release sexual tension. What happens is that we cross over into the area of sin and we begin to entertain the dark side of sex.

A few Scriptures come to mind.

But before we tap into the Word, we must remember that God knows the make up of man.

God reveals in the Bible the reason why the hearts of men are dark and uncovers why they do what they do.

When Adam sinned (Genesis chapter 3), the devil knew and took full advantage of his sin and fill Adam’s heart and mind with all sorts of wicked imaginations. The devil knew that these wicked imaginations would run its course throughout all of creation (see Genesis 6:1-8).

Notice verse 5 of Genesis chapter 6.

“Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”

Wickedness is the nature or characteristic of the devil that was spiritually transferred into the very heart and mind of man (see Romans 5:12). The core of man’s being became corrupt and the flesh craves to obey and express the “perverted, depraved urges and impulses” of the heart and mind.

The dark heart and a dark mind, when acted upon, brings man to produce and perform dark things of perverseness and wickedness.

Recently, we’ve read in the news of a husband chaining his wife for 10 years or more. In the human trafficking business, the sex trade equals sex slaves. According to the US State Department, 600,000 women are trafficked throughout the world for various reasons, but predominantly for the sex trade.

Profoundly sorrowful for my participation in porn, there was one porn episode that comes to mind that featured two white men and an Asian woman. It appears that she might have been a person caught in the sex trade, but I wasn’t sure due to lack of evidence. Enough said. As I looked back, all I can remember is the pain she experienced of being gang raped. The porn industry tries to put a smile to its evil brand of lust, but there is no smile on the countless women that experience sexual slavery.

In some of my episodes on BlogTalkRadio, I shared about the drug and alcohol connections on the set of most porn productions. They were there to help the women cope with the dramatic and painful sex acts that men demanded. In between shoots that would last, I’m told, up to 16 hours, the women would drug up and booze up to cope with the abuse and prepare for the next scene.

For quite some time, I, like many other males thought that they were enjoying the sex. And I found out, after hearing testimony after testimony, that they were not enjoying it for one moment. It was all part of their brand of sex to sell it. If there is the appearance of pleasure, that’s what will count in the mind of a perverted man because it’s all about fantasizing and getting off.

In the minds of men and women, a battle is raging. For single women, it is the battle to feel loved and connected. For men, it is the battle to “act out” sexually, but deep within both sexes is the longing to worship and be intimate with God. When it comes to the sex trade, there are many persons looking to live a better life but for a price.

Sex is a very powerful act.

God created male and female to have sex in holy matrimony. Sex serves as the place where loving, caring, and bonding takes place, as well as procreation.

But being husband and wife also serves as spiritual connection that is deeper than physical intimacy. Besides, we know what the Lord said…

“What God had joined together, let no man put asunder.”

Whether we want to accept it or not, God is intimately involved in our marriage vows and we are spiritually connect, since He was the one that brought us (my current and only partner) together.

Look at what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:16-17….

“Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For ‘the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.”

By design, man is to be one spirit with the Lord. When it comes to watching multiple porn movies, a man wants to be joined with every woman that he sees sexually (see Proverbs 27:20). But underneath, it is only a revelation of the heart crying out for spiritual intimacy with God. The only thing that man has done is look to himself for sensual pleasure as a poor substitute for spiritual intimacy with God.

There are many people that will write this off because of the perverseness of the hearts but for those that are willing to recover from the snare of the enemy and reverse the curse of the heart and mind of man, sex in marriage can be brought back to levels of godly passion that glorifies God.

Notice what the Lord Jesus said in Matthew 15:18-19.

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts- murder, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”

Notice the Amplified Bibles rendition of verse 18…

“For out of the heart come evil thoughts (reasonings and disputings and designs)  SUCH AS murder, adultery, sexual vice, theft, false witnessing, slander, and irreverent speech.”

Jesus has taught us something very powerful. OUT OF THE HEART. 

Proverbs 4:23 says,

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it (the heart) spring the issues of life.”

The New Living Bible says….

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything that you do.”

So in the heart or core of man, six things defile a man.

1.) Murders, 2.) adulteries, 3.) fornications, 4.) thefts, 5.) false witness, 6.) blasphemies.

According to Revelation 13:18, the number of the beast is the number of a man…666.

Man was created on the…..6th day (Genesis 1:24-31).

So that means there is only one way to change what comes out of the core of man.

Jesus said in John 3:3…

“You must be born again…”

This means that you must be changed from within again.

Man was created in the image of God. God “spiritually birthed” Adam, and gave him mental and physical faculties. But when Adam sinned, he became a child, “spiritually birthed” of the devil. So in order for man to come back to God, he must be born or “spiritually birthed” again by the Holy Spirit of God.

You can never wage war successfully against the depraved thoughts of the mind until you are born or “spiritually birthed” again. Anyone can change behaviors but it’s not just about changing behaviors. It’s about changing who your spiritual Father is. It’s about changing the core of your nature so that depraved thoughts can be arrested thus living out the nature of God through the Holy Spirit in obedience to the Word of God.

This is only accomplished by repentance and the Holy Spirit coming on the inside of your spirit and making you a new creature or creation in Christ (see 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Titus 3:5).

When God created Adam, He blew within Adam the breath of life and Adam became a living being. All of his spiritual and mental faculties were placed in a physical container for earthly expression.

As long as Adam obeyed the command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he remained alive unto God and he remains made in the image or spiritual resemblance of God. The moment that he disobeyed God, darkness would control his heart, mind, and when prompted, his or her flesh.

Again, man wants sexual connection, women want sexual connection that leads to emotional connections.

With battling the thoughts of sex, these are the “animal impulses” that rage within to attempt to satisfy spiritual intimacy needs. That’s what worship and praise of God is about. Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 5:23 that “I pray God your whole spirit, and soul, and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of the Lord.” 

Notice the order of the tri-part man. Spirit, Soul, Body.

When battling the thoughts, everything operates out of the core of your being. Your spirit man is the center of all spiritual things. If you are not born again, you are under the control of the prince of the power of the air, the spirit of disobedience. All it takes is a small suggestion based on your preference of the kinds of sins your mind gets a false sense of pleasure from.

The devils have watched you enough to know that certain things sets you off on a course to pursue satisfaction. All of these things are designed to keep you in bondage to the sin or sins. The mind has a way of filing the places where you’ve been and the experiences you had so that you can go back to the place to enjoy more.

For instance, if there is a certain place where a good piece of chicken is sold, you will remember that place so you can return for some more. It’s the same with sex. You know exactly where to go and who would be there. It’s the same in the Internet. You know exactly the kind of sex you want to watch so you could fantasize. Then there are those that get tired of the fantasy and desire to act out sexually with someone based on the experiential preferences of the past.

The real warfare is understanding these traps and accepting the freedom already purchased by the blood of Jesus to never be in bondage again.

Born again believers need not be in bondage, but sadly, there are those, like myself, that was in this cyclical kind of self imposed bondage, that never took advantage of the power of God embedded in the new birth. I used to take for granted that I was saved and tried to be satisfied from both places.

Looking for satisfaction from the house of God and the house of darkness. A man cannot live in two houses at the same time (see John 8:34-36).

As James said, in chapter 1 and verse 8, A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

The Amplified Bible says,

“[For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides].

He cannot be resolute about being saved or being a sinner. Therefore, he must make a decision that if he is going to live like a child of God to not entertain thoughts of sexual sin and perverseness and make a stand to think about God, His Word, and walk in the power of His salvation, in thought and actions or deeds.

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