As I was listening to a radio broadcast of a “Bible answer man,” no it’s not Hanegraaff, it was someone else. A listener called in to get answers about how to stop watching porn.
Watching porn is still a problem among believers today.
The majority of men that teach the Bible may not have gone through a personal situation where in their own lives, they’ve watched porn.
Not every man watches porn, but it’s sure close.
You could tell when a person watches porn, the Lord sets them free, and they humbly learn how to help other men get the freedom they cry for.
Then there’s the Bible teachers that never get enough information to help men get free. As I’ve said, not every man watches porn, but I am aware that not every Bible teacher knows how to minister grace and truth.
It’s very easy to give off the cuff answers when you haven’t gone through the process. This isn’t to say that this Bible answer man on Talk Radio on Sirius Radio, never went through an encounter of porn.
The other danger is that there’s plenty of Bible answer teachers and preachers that develop an arrogant, prideful, and haughty spirit.
I was one of them.
Just a few weeks after being delivered from porn, an “I’ll teach them” spirit came and then my accountability partner from “Setting Captives Free” gave me a very humiliating lesson.
He said to me, in words like………“Don’t teach me Bible knowledge.”
You see, it’s very easy to come off like you know all the Bible answers. And sometimes, we truly think we do. And come to find out that what’s in our head never matches what’s in our hearts.
Over the course of time, I began to see that we try to think we could help people and find that we’re inadequate, ill-equipped, unteachable, and at times, very nasty and angry.
This Bible teacher didn’t come off like this at all.
In fact, he was very kind, very careful with his words, very humble. He wasn’t prideful, arrogant, or nasty. He was very good in sharing with that man the forgiveness of sins.
He is to be commended for calmly talking about the aspect of forgiveness.
It’s very difficult to minister to men trapped in porn so what we need to do is gather as much information as we can about porn, but also arm ourselves with Scripture. Then we need to learn from those that were trapped in porn that broke free. We also need to learn from those that were never trapped in porn and how they worked with the Lord to stay free.
Too often, we just get a one sided view of dealing with pornography. What I mean is that only those that’s been in porn know how to deal with it, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Just as the Lord told Elijah, “there’s 7000 that never bowed their knee to Baal.”
It’s very difficult to admit that you have a porn problem.
90% plus of men will never admit they have a sins of the flesh problem.
And roughly 10% either initiated or completely fulfilled their desire to be free and even less than that remain free to this day.
You may ask, “Where did I get this figure from?”
A couple of years ago, I looked on “Setting Captives Free” to see how many people, male and female, attempted to deal with porn addiction. At that time, around 2011 or so, over 2 million clicked the sight but only 200,000 attempted to go through and complete the course.
I am an alumnus.
As with any addiction, sexual addiction in particular, it’s a very dirty, filthy habit. It destroys the morals of man, chokes off his relationship with God, and if he’s married, with his wife, cuts off his ministry, takes all his money and his time.
His life evolves around porn. If he’s not in his house watching porn, there’s plenty of substitute porn in the streets with scantily clad women in stores, restaurants, malls, church, work, and other places.
His mind is consumed with watching flesh.
And even if women are dressed modestly, he knows how to use his imagination to sexually objectify her.
The core of all porn is the lust in the heart of man.
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of God abides forever.”
James 1:14-15 (NKJV) “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
The desires within a man is what drives him to make provision to fulfill these lusts lurking within his mind and flesh.
Romans 13:14 (NKJV) “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
As long as man never addresses the lust in his heart, it’s very difficult to fight the urges and impulses lurking in his flesh.
Granted, some women do not make it easy but they’re not the core of the problem.
How does a man get free of porn?
Sadly, the images are filed in the mind of a man. From time to time, if we don’t “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ,” these thought or fantasies easily emerge. If we dwell on the thought instead of subdue these thoughts, sexual arousal will take place.
If we’re in the privacy of home, the job, in the car, it’s very easy to go from thoughts to actually stimulating ourselves. That is, to manipulate our sexual organs.
Sexual tension is on an avoidable collision course to be released.
The rest is history.
We go to John 5 with the man at the pool of Bethesda.
Jesus approached a man that was lame in his feet for 38 years, and asked him a very simple question. “Do you want to be made whole.”
To be whole means to be sound or to be restored to health.
While this is about the lame man’s physical condition, the same question could be asked about sexual addicts.
Those that are trapped in the clutches of porn.
Do you want to be sound? Restored to health?
Many men willingly acknowledge that porn is an issue but this question demands that you look at the condition, but few look beyond the condition to see that this will be a life long battle to maintain health after being made whole.
And if we were really honest, we will also admit that masturbation is inextricably connected to porn.
Men do not sit there, watch porn, and then shut off the show of flesh.
Men engage in make believe sex to satisfy the lust in his heart for that flesh.
It’s the one thing that keeps a man coming back for more porn.
And this is the core reason why many men, well over 90%, never be free.
The self satisfaction is of too greater value to walk away.
Romans 6:12-14 (NKJV Strong’s) “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”
If you’re not prepared to cut off, in a radical way, the “ritual” of making provision “to fulfill the lusts of the flesh,” this is what brings men into a place of self imposed hopelessness and helplessness.
They abandon themselves to live a life of sexual sins that usually takes them further than where they’ve intended to go.
Sexual predators, serial rapists, child molesters.
Finally, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
As long as men aren’t afraid of God and His commandments, sin is easy.
God gave Cain the answer he needed to conquer sin in his life….
Genesis 4:7 (NKJV Strong’s) “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
You can rule lust in your heart.
But you can’t do it alone.
You need the help of the Holy Spirit.
The Scriptures are there for a reason.
To warn the wicked of what’s to come and to help those that were delivered from sin to remain faithful to the Lord till the end.
In their ignorance, they assume that death and hell is a joke but the Scriptures are clear about what is to come for those that fail to repent and turn to the Lord.
As Paul said, “The preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness, but to us which are saved, it is the power of God.”
The true born again believer does not wish hell upon anyone.
That’s because God’s mercy is extended to all who would accept His terms of deliverance.
This should cause many of us in Christ to intercede more. Preach salvation to the sinners in the streets more. Be more zealous to remain faithful to the Lord.
Psalm 5:4 says, “For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.”
God does not sit there and is pleased to watch men and women operate in wickedness. And for those that think they could take sin into heaven, the latter portion of this verse eliminates that thought.
Evil shall not dwell with God.
While this verse that I am about to quote is referenced to Israel, the Lord doesn’t take pleasure in the death of the wicked.
Notice Ezekiel 18:32….“For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,” says the Lord God. “Therefore turn and live!”
In the book of 2 Peter chapter 3 and verse 9, Peter says….“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
God has done everything in His power to deliver us from so great a death. But it is up to man to choose deliverance or be condemned into eternal suffering forever. Sadly, people are deceived into thinking that hell would be fun.
The earth is the last place for “fun.”
In hell, there will be pain, misery, darkness, and suffering.
The judicial system is a type of what you will see when you are thrown into the eternal lake which will burn with fire and brimstone.
You will not be able to use the excuse and ask…..“Why didn’t someone tell me about this?”
You’ve mocked it. Made joke of it. Laughed at it. Ridiculed it.
You’d never thought it would happen to you……but it did.
All the time, you’ve heard the Scriptures, argued on FB or other means of social media, and contempt of God simmered in pride, defended your sin, and condemned in the heat of your anger, the righteous for preaching the gospel to you. You were sickened to hear the truth about Jesus and cursed Him to your hell.
You’ve slapped away the grace of God to deliver you. In your progressive rhetoric, you’ve stood your ground and suppressed the truth.
All for what?
Romans 6:23 says “For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
But you could be delivered right now.
Repent!!!! It means to change your mind or reconsider.
The Lord is not going to turn you away but receive you into His kingdom when you ask Him to forgive you and to cleanse you from all sin. God said that He would abundantly pardon you.
Jesus said, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
The Holy Spirit will make you a brand new creation in Christ.
Free from every enslaving yoke of sexual immorality and all other sins associated.
Are you willing to continue to make a joke of it? Or will you take this seriously?
Hell is full of misery, torture, pain, heat, and no relief. There is no parole, no escape, and no second chances. There is no pleasure, water, or coolness.
But that’s the least of your worries.
On the day you stand before the Great White Throne Judgment Seat, you will behold the One that you’ve joked about. After there is no discovery of your name in the Book of Life, you will be cast into the lake which burns with fire and brimstone forever (Read Revelation 21:8).
This lake which burns with fire and brimstone will make hell a much better place to be held in prison.
Hebrews 2:3 says ‘…..how shall you escape if you neglect so great a salvation?”
If there were ever such a sign over the doorpost of hell, it would shake some sense in people. “All Who Pass Through Here, Abandon All Hope.”
The untold numbers of those that rejected the Lord is unfathomable.
The many that had a chance to get it right, threw it all away for the pleasures of sin. Their days of pleasure ended on the day of their deaths. For thousands of years for most of them, all they’ve know was “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
You do not have much time to reconsider. Do it today.
A few months ago, 400 names of pastors were revealed after someone hacked into the accounts of a porn website. So far, last year, one pastor committed suicide.
In this new hacking spree, over 200,000 accounts have been hacked into.
The security system on the internet is vulnerable. Even more so now and we haven’t closed the door on hackers sufficiently. When it comes to sin, however, there is no amount of security that can keep God out.
There is no question that pastors and professed believers are on this site.
It’s now a matter of who’s names come up in this new hacking of internet porn site accounts.
Anonymous, Accessible, Affordable.
The first word, “anonymous,” is part of Secret Sexual Sins.
No one wants anyone to know what a person is doing.
That’s why there’s Luke 12:2.
Even before Luke 12:2, the Lord knew you would watch pornography before the world began. Nothing escapes the eyes of the Lord in the present. And nothing escaped the eyes of the Lord before time began.
As I have said before, no one watches porn and not act out sexually in adultery, fornication, bisexuality, and masturbation.
The Lord told us to expose the activities of darkness (see Ephesians 5:8-11). That we are to do it ourselves before the Lord uses extraordinary means to get you to fall on your knees in repentance in embarrassment.
The Lord issued the warning to you in various ways.
The Lord tried to tell you Himself, but you refused. The Lord probably tried using a person close to you to talk to you. Or maybe the Lord spoke to you through a message by your pastor on sexual sins, but you refused to take heed.
Warning after warning came but you refused to take heed to cleanse your way.
These warning signs are like stop signs and red lights on a road.
When we ignore these signs, it’s a matter of time before we are caught by a police officer or state trooper. Worse, get hurt or killed in an avoidable traffic accident. And yes, others suffer for negligent moving violations too.
Such is the same with pornography.
Others suffer because of the sexual sins of others.
All of this is avoidable.
You are reading this and you are sitting there, wondering if the Lord would expose you.
Wonder no further.
If you are involved in any form of pornography to gratify yourself in masturbation, it’s just a matter of time before your exposure. It’s avoidable.
Porn and masturbation is avoidable.
To read about the hacking incident, click here.
Pastors and ministers that operate covertly do so for one reason, continuation of their Secret.
Galatians 6:1 says “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.”
To get to the gist of this, the debate is more about how soon should a pastor or praise and worship leader, or any minister be restored to minister?
While there is no Biblical example of a timeframe in which a person could minister again, we know that the current examples set the bar very low as to how soon one could be restored.
First things first.
Each person’s temperament is different, but the Lord and His Word is the same.
When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, this is where it all must begin.
It was once said that a person shouldn’t be “too transparent.”
We all know that if we are going to kill something, full disclosure is required. To leave out any details, sensible details lacking salacious statements, is the kind of concealment that most men and women depend on.
A balance has to be struck as to what is reasonably transparent and sharing declaratively forbidden salacious details.
It’s in the secrecy of a thing that a person could easily return to commit sexual sins. Therefore, it must be noted that for any one to recognize contriteness of heart, the degree of a person’s divulging of his or her heart, fully opens up the heart to receive the healing touch of the merciful love of God.
Psalm 40:11 “Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.”
We ask the Lord to do this for us but what are we willing to do to receive all of it?
James 5:16 says, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Notice that “trespasses” is plural. Now the argument that will be stated that James didn’t say “confess ALL your trespasses…..”
The price of receiving His lovingkindness and tender mercies may require that you confess your trespasses to one another.
The power of the disease is not just the sexual immorality committed in the life of a pastor and his adulteress partner.
It’s in the secrecy.
John 3:19-21 says “And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
This is true for believers as well. Believers that desire to commit sin will work secrecy in the same manner. But to work the works of darkness, a believer must come out of the light and leave holiness at the door of the house of sin.
Secrecy is the mode of operation because if few to none know about what went on, you can continue to minister like nothing happened. But few of us read the story of David. Or we totally ignore it.
Especially when the prophet, by the Holy Spirit, revealed David’s sins, hidden in secrecy.
While I was in the Secret Sexual Sins of porn and masturbation, I rarely, if not at all, mentioned holiness, sexual sins, unless it was just homosexuality, and deliberately avoided my own personal life.
The purpose was that if I didn’t own up to these sins, I can continue in the sinful pleasures of the world. I would quickly ask God for forgiveness, in vain, preach, and then go back to the vomit. I suppressed the convicting power of God for that two hours of being in church.
One of the things that you are aware of is that you know you lied to God. I wasn’t serious about repentance. It was all a hypocritical joke. My life busted the sides of the devils as they were laughing at me about how I was running my life.
Today, the Lord showed me what these devils were saying about me. No one likes being laughed at like a fool.
“If only he knew how he could be free.”
To be free, I must give up ALL MY SECRETS.
I must expose what I’ve done in darkness.
Paul said in Ephesians 5:11-13 “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.”
I had to painfully expose these areas in my life in order to be free.
Psalm 90:8 “You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”
It’s not that the secret sins were freshly discovered. God knew about this before I was born. He was just waiting to see if I would decide to keep myself by His grace, or fall into sin. He was prepared to go in either direction. Because He knows all things.
It’s only until a man or a woman Come Clean and put it all on the table that restoration may be fully extended.
Of course there are many variables and accountability patterns that must be initiated and set up for the rest of his or her life, but until the secrets are revealed in confidence and safety, to even consider restoration to the pulpit is folly.
The path to the restoration of ministry is blocked until there is a restoration of the relationship a man had with God.
God has to to trust you all over again but from the secret place in prayer, fasting, repentance that sticks, to establish righteousness and true holiness. With no exits to sin against God again.
For they will fall again if pastors are not serious.
The power of the enemy is deprived when the secret is out. And the secret will come out, one way or another.
Restoration to the ministry should be a zero factor until things are properly set in order.
Just like when president Obama announced a date for troop withdrawals from Iraq and Afghanistan, the enemy just waited for that date to come.
Hence, the emergence of ISIS.
It’s the same with sinful ministers that love their sin more than they love God. Devils wait for the day you return to the ministry, and they bring their best sexual sins tools to tempt you to sin again.
Because the devils know that you haven’t killed Goliath in your flesh, but it’s not so much the devils. It’s you. Your thirst to fulfill lust in your mind and flesh.
The whole purpose of keeping the secret alive is to continue in sin.
If we look forward to the day of getting back into the pulpit, then we are missing the point.
A pulpit without God is no different than hell without God.
God will not partner with a preacher that is intent on keeping his sins.
This is what secrecy is all about.
The ability to continue in sin while pretending that everything is all right.
Finally, accountability teams are great and very helpful to ministers caught in Secret Sexual Sins, but if it is to get to the root of the problem, tough love accountability must be instituted from start to finish.
The sinning minister must not have control over establishing any date of return to the pulpit. Should a sinning minister refuse to endure the entire process and submit to Biblical accountability, there is nothing that anyone, including God could do.
Besides, what more important is not the pulpit but his heart.
If his heart is not right, then he is abusing the grace of God and there is no mercy available until there is a “confession and a forsaking.” (see Proverbs 28:13).
Make no mistake about it.
One moment of sin is not worth an eternity in hell.
A fallen minister must be broken before God. The fear of God must be restored. The contrite heart must be the lifestyle for the rest of his or her life.
And secrecy must be destroyed.
There can be no exceptions.
An article regarding Billy Graham’s grandson and his sexual immorality apparently spurned by his wife could be read here.
The title of a Charisma article is a reminder. Although, I agree with the Charisma News article that Sexual Sins is weakening the Body of Christ, but I also agree with the fact that believers are already in a weakened position.
Jesus said in Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray lest you fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.”
When we deliberately fail to watch and pray, the devil watches and we become his prey.
Since “The War Room” movie, I am assessing the strength of our local church. And I am also assessing if lasting change has been instituted to endure to the end. After a powerful movie, sometimes our emotions will compel us to initiate things. However, stemming from my own life, such grand promises require “stay with it power” to see it through to the end. It is then that we can properly assess our desire to stay with what was started in us by the Lord, or throw in the towel, and quit.
In Philippians 1:6, Paul says “…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
But the Lord is not going to do it without your compliance to His will, expressed in His Word.
Jesus said in Luke 18:1 “Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart,”
Galatians 6:9 says “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
Faster and faster, we are seeing believers that regain their strength, and then in an instant, they lose it all in one moment of evil passion. Just as fast as they promise the Lord that they would never do that sin again, they slip back into the mud pit. I know what it’s like to climb out of sexual sins just to slip back in quickly.
1 Peter 5:8-9 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”
Sexual sins have devoured many strong and weak saints.
The media has pushed illicit sexual freedom and immorality upon the world and the professed believers in the church allowed the opposite of Psalm 101:3 be their favorite Scripture.
They have set wicked things before their eyes.
When you sit in front of the TV, Internet, or other forms of media, you are wide open for a covert and overt assault from satan to trip you up in your flesh and mind.
No child of God is strong enough to withstand the attacks of the enemy when you are outside the secret place of the Most High. When you are outside of the name of the Lord, which is a strong tower where the righteous run into it and they are safe, you are vulnerable.
James 4:7-10 says “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double- minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
The more we are drawn away from God, we are drawn towards darkness.
Few realize that the ultimate goal of the enemy is to pull you into hell. The “cares, riches, and pleasures of this life” is designed to pull you out of God and heaven, and plunge you into hell forever.
The vision of satan is expressed through all forms of media. As long as we can see it and deceive ourselves into thinking that it will not affect us, we are caught in the snare of satan’s lies. Strongholds are developed, and we fight to keep these strongholds instead of fighting to destroy them with the Word of God.
It’s amazing how many baseless excuses we make to keep a sin that no longer has power over us. We will deceive ourselves into thinking that we are good and that God is good with it.
God was never good with sin. He proved that on day one in heaven when lucifer and a third of the angels attacked. The angels that didn’t defect threw them all out and there was no place found for them. The revolt was so powerful that their were angels that were chained with everlasting chains and placed under darkness, reserved for judgment later.
Jude and verse 6 says, “And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day;”
So it’s not just about sexual sins. It’s about getting believers in Jesus to defect and get them to throw away their salvation.
That one moment of sexual pleasure outside of the confines of holy matrimony is that one moment that satan was waiting for.
Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but adulterers and fornicators God will judge.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 tells us that “fornicators….adulterers…will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
The weaker we become, the less likely we will choose to stand and fight. We allow our flesh to rule us to the point of overruling the Word of God and the Holy Spirit in us. We enter into hopelessness, hoping that God would not condemn us.
Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free form the law of sin and death.”
As long as I walk in liberty as I obey the Word of God with the help of the Holy Spirit, I cannot be condemned.
If you keep finding yourselves under the power of sexual sin, turn to 1 Corinthians 10:13. The Holy Spirit will always make a way of escape. Thing is, are you willing to obey Him and take that way of escape?
Sin is a choice.
Decisions Determines Destiny.
What you decide to do has eternal consequences and ramifications.
If you are without strength,
(1) you need to go cold turkey and get on your knees to God in repentance and prayer.
(2) Then you need to be around strong men that either never walked in Secret Sexual Sins or were delivered a while (no less than three years free of porn and masturbation).
(3) Then you need to maintain your deliverance by not showing off to others in trying to teach them with less than three years of freedom yourself. Humility and humbleness of mind will keep you from being humiliated by God.
(4) Diligently apply the Scriptures daily, observing to do all that is written in the Word of God.
As Paul said, “Not a novice, lest being lifted up in pride he fall into the snare and condemnation of the devil.”
While the deliverance of the Lord is instantaneous, the maintenance of the deliverance is where the battle is won or lost. More often than not, it is lost during maintenance where a person is slowly drawn away from holiness back into sin. The excitement wears off and that’s where a man is more vulnerable to fall into sin after being tempted.
Like Samson, the locks on your hair is cut off, consecration is cast aside, your eyes are gouged out as you are tied between the post and made sport of. Acknowledge that you’re without strength, you are weak, and that you need God, and over time, the Lord will renew your strength like the eagles.
The Charisma News article could be read here.
As if the Lord issued the warning. And then you read stuff like this.
A Facebook post made this story available to me.
This truly is upsetting.
To the family that first had to endure the adultery, we ask the Lord’s grace and mercy to abound abundantly in their time of tragedy. Now this family has to deal with his death by suicide, resulting possibly from this pastor experiencing emotional trauma, shame, remorse, and hopelessness.
And they are looking for answers.
These may not be answers but they offer a glimpse into what might have been going on.
Needful to say that this underscores the dangers of secrecy in a pastor’s life.
Preponderance indicates that porn and masturbation were probably an issue in his life.
I don’t know everything but the Lord does. I mention this because very few people understand the issues as the Lord does. In my own life, I’ve had enough episodes to give some information. Porn and masturbation may have contributed to his adultery. If porn and masturbation wasn’t an issue, then we all know that unbridled lust In the heart of any pastor is always at the root of all sexual immorality, private or public.
I could be wrong about it because, again, I do not know everything.
Only the Lord does.
Then, you might ask, “why bring it up?”
Because this is an ongoing situation that continues to plague the Body of Christ.
This is MOAB, the Mother Of All Battles. Sexual immorality is the Goliath of our times.
What we need to do is understand some things.
We will not come to any conclusions about the matter but there are some things that we can learn from this tragic event.
Secret Sexual Sins is a major problem for 43% of pastors in the United States.
Porn and masturbation is a major stronghold for many pastors and ministers.
Sexual integrity must be maintained in the life of all Christians.
We must guard our hearts behind the pulpits and in the pews.
The devil is unrelenting when it comes to sexual immorality. If we are not watchful, every moment of our lives, we will cross lines that we say we weren’t going to cross. Pastors must not become wanderers or pimp/predators and women must not become harlots in the house of the Lord.
Many of us concentrate so much on the pastor that we seldom mention his wife. No one but her and the many other wives of pastors truly understand the pain of betrayal, rejection, and adultery. The staff member that committed adultery with this pastor is in much turmoil as well.
One thing always lead to another. Perhaps this pastor had safeguards in place to protect him from crossing the line. Perhaps she did too. But one thing always leads to another.
Then why bring it up, you might ask?
Because it happens more often than what we are willing to admit.
In my last blog, “The Dangers Of Sex With A Pastor,” it once again, underscores the many things known and perhaps unknown to us that exist in the church.
In an interview, one former prostitute shared that the reason why these things is happening in the church is that holiness is not preached. I will add that holiness could be preached in the house of the Lord but if they are not living by holiness, it’s a form of godliness lacking God’s power. A preacher could preach about holiness till they are blue in the face. The same preacher will sin with his eyes after the sermon.
We do not know if this pastor preached or prayed for personal holiness in his life. The answer is an answer of preponderance. Probably not. But let’s say that he did preach holiness, would it have been enough for him to act on to keep himself pure before God?
Well, we won’t know the answer to this question.
But what about you pastor or female staff member?
Are you willing to go down this path and disrespect the house of the Lord?
How deep are you in sexual immorality?
Have you cried out to God for help?
Are you willing to expose yourself to get God’s power to save you from a preventable situation?
The hand of the Lord is there every moment to help you get free of porn and masturbation.
The hand of the Lord is there every moment to save you, young lady, from committing adultery with your pastor.
If you are in a situation where you are contemplating having sex with your pastor, reconsider quickly. That one moment of sin is a pandora’s box of eternal destruction. Nothing but destruction and death follows. Before you dishonor your body, fall on your knees and ask God to satisfy your longings, quench your lust, and give you eternal satisfaction like the woman meeting Jesus at Jacob’s well.
If you are a pastor and you are married, look well to your relationship, return to the wife of your youth and resolve your differences, if any. Deal with the lust in your flesh and mind.
On the blog are many sites that will steer you to find the help you need to establish sexual integrity and sobriety.
Committing adultery is the last thing that you need to do right now.
This pastor committed suicide. We don’t know why but it points towards deep remorse. Just like when Judas was emotionally overwhelmed with betraying the Lord, this pastor was overwhelmed because he betrayed his Lord, and his wife.
Too much for him to overcome, he was lied to by that devil that was instrumental in getting him to commit adultery. That devil over his life probably just told him that he was nothing. He would never minister again. He will be a byword. He probably told him that he might as well end it all. That devil probably told him that his wife no longer loved him and that God would never forgive him.
ALL LIES FROM THE FATHER OF LIES!!!!!
No matter how deep and dark our sins are, the Father forgives, cleanses, and restores.
Sexual sin will take you further that you want to go. Sexual sin will keep you longer than you want to stay. Sexual sin will cost you more than what you are willing to pay.
Sadly, the Reverend Seth Oiler will not be the last pastor to commit adultery. He will not be the last to feel the bitterness of remorse and hopelessness, and in a quest to seek relief, never seek God but seek death for relief.
Regrettably, more stories have already happened. This tragedy just made the papers. Others are lost in the news.
But if you are reading this and you feel hopeless, just fall to your knees and ask the Lord for help.
God is gracious and kind. He is holy and never tolerates sin, but when we come to Him in true repentance, He will give grace and mercy to you liberally.
Hebrews 4:14-16 says, “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
The story of this tragedy could be read here.
Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but adulterers and fornicators God will judge.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 says, “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”
It bewilders me that young couples fornicate. Why is there such a problem with young couples waiting to get married first, then having sex?
It’s call “Selling Out.”
Hebrews 12:14-17 says,
“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:
looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God;
lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.
For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.”
Many believe that this statement about Esau was just a spiritual connotation. While we do not have any real corroborating references in the Scriptures about Esau being a fornicator and profane person, it seems that the writer of the book of Hebrews received this as revelation as directed by the Holy Spirit.
For instance, in the Book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ, the Lord Jesus revealed the source of Israel’s debacle in the plains of Moab by the hands of Balaam. Balak solicited the services of the double agent Balaam. Balaam was a seer but he was also a diviner. Balaam couldn’t get the Lord to curse the children of Israel because God said that He would not change His promise to bless.
So Balaam taught the children of Israel fornication.
Usually, without corroborating Scripture, it is dangerous to take one verse of Scripture and presuppose, because Scripture interprets Scripture by the Holy Spirit.
2 Peter 1:20-21 says this that “…knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of any private interpretation, for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit.”
However, there is another rule of interpreting the Scriptures that is in play. All Scripture is to be taken literally unless otherwise indicated. And then there is 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Thus, we can safely conclude that Esau was literally a fornicator and a profane person.
In Genesis 25:29-34, Esau sold out his birthright after returning exhausted from hunting. Jacob was able to take from Esau that which is prized.
There are clear advantages of being the firstborn because the inheritance and authority in the family is given over to the firstborn. The blessing is also inherently passed to the one that is born first in the family.
When it was time for Esau to receive the blessing, Jacob tricked his father, Isaac into thinking that Jacob was Esau. Isaac blessed Jacob and the rest was history. Esau, despised his birthright but when it was time to receive the blessings of the firstborn, it was too late.
So what is the connection between the birthright and fornication?
When you despise holiness and render holiness useless, it is easy to fornicate. It’s easy to commit any other sin for that matter. When you despise your rights and privileges as the “firstborn” in the family, it is easy to sin.
There’s many members in the Body of Christ that despise their relationship with the Lord. They long to sin like sinners. They get exhausted in maintaining their holiness to the Lord and they are quick to sellout.
Listen to the prophet Malachi in chapter 3 and verses 13 through 15.
“Your words have been harsh against Me,”
Says the Lord,
“Yet you say,
‘What have we spoken against You?’
You have said,
‘It is useless to serve God;
What profit is it that we have kept His ordinance,
And that we have walked as mourners
Before the Lord of hosts?
So now we call the proud blessed,
For those who do wickedness are raised up;
They even tempt God and go free.”
In Matthew 26:41, the Lord Jesus gives us a very powerful tool against the sins of the flesh.
“Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”
Paul gave us these words in 1 Corinthians 10:12.“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”
1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.
For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.”
Peter gives us these words in 1 Peter 5:8-9. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”
I give these Scriptures in hopes that we would never fall prey to the devil and sellout.
This is not the time to give in to the dictates of the flesh, to indulge in the flesh. To do so will cost you.
Esau went to Isaac and cried tears in repentance to get the blessing of the firstborn, but it was too late. There are many fornicators that seek to have that place in God they once had. And they will never get it again. Do not get the Bible twisted. As NT believers, 1 John 1:9 is there to ensure that we get it right with God in our hearts.
We do “have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the Righteous.”
Jesus pleads our case before the Father and the Father forgives our sins and remembers them no more. However, to have that place we once had before committing the sin of fornication, well, there’s a lot to lose.
What is lost?
The momentum to be used by God the way the Lord used you. The people of God once held you in high standards with the Lord.
We must remember that although David’s sin was removed according to the prophet Nathan, yet, David, the one that killed Goliath, did not finish well. He was chased to death (literally) by his own sons. Not for the sin of adultery with Bathsheba, but for numbering the people. From that point on, the decline of David’s rule underscored the importance of staying holy before God.
The whole purpose of sin is to stop the power of God from operating in your life. To diminish your usefulness to the Master. To bring down those around you. And if you are not careful, to take you straight to hell (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
When two unmarried people lock hips and lips, it says a lot about their morals.
For the male, it says that he treats you less than a lady. For the lady, it reveals to that male that you are cheap and easy. You are a dime a dozen.
The Lord treats you better than that, young lady.
And to sell out to a male that had only one thing on his mind is a clear indication of the kind of life you will have when you are with him if you decide to get married to him. This means that he is capable of fornicating with other women, if he hasn’t done so already.
And should you become pregnant, you know he is on the hunt. Males that are on the hunt for females is no different than a male lion with a pride. When one lioness is pregnant, the male lion has no problems. He has plenty in his pride to mate with.
Such is the case with humans.
Males that are not monogamous has a “pride.”
Because men are “Wired For Intimacy,” his urges and impulses will rise and he will go hunting if he is sexually turned down. Should the woman get pregnant and should she give birth, her maternal instincts will kick in. Her prioritized concern will be about the child. Which means that if there is no sex because she is more concerned about the child, the man will feel neglected and seek intimacy in more ways than one.
Porn, masturbation, prostitutes, tail on the side, adultery.
However, the worst feeling is knowing that the Holy Spirit is grieved.
Nothing hurts the heart of the Father more than a child of His that deliberately betrays the Lord.
“Godly sorrow works repentance, leading to salvation, not to be regretted.”
In many of our local assemblies, single women make the choice to bypass the Word of God to hold out. The devil lies to them and they easily fall prey to the devil. That one moment of pleasure has turned into a whirlwind of trouble for 18 to 25 years. She struggles to make things work.
The cover up is that most males and females that engage in Secret Sexual Sins, they get married. Truth of the matter, if she is pregnant, she will begin to see the true character of the male she fornicated with. A woman will not know the true measure of a man until the child comes.
As a potentially unrelated side note, male lions are fascinating, in that they reveal some character traits of human males. Female lions need the protection of the male lions from other male lions seeking a pride. So the female lions hunt. The males lie around all day until dinner, then eat. Then the female lions are allowed to take the rest of what’s left to feed the rest of the pride. The males patrol their territory and then return to check on their pride, eat dinner, and go to sleep.
But one striking feature that stands out is that when male lions want a pride, they seek out female lions so they could mate. If there are any cubs from the last male lion, they kill the last male lion’s offspring so that the females would mate.
My point is clear.
Unregenerate man is ruthless as a lion and will “hunt.”
Thus, endangering the nucleus of the family.
That’s why it’s important to abstain from fornication, adultery, bisexuality, homosexuality, and do it God’s way.
We can never go wrong when we do things the way God intended. We reduce the amount of trouble that many families encounter. It’s bad enough that the things that happen in life happen but we do not have to add to the mix with our own inability to maintain our sanctification.
On another different note, too many of us place 100% of the blame on Planned Parenthood.
Before you think that I am advocating abortion, I am not.
This death mill is there to take advantage of the sin of fornication and adultery.
When we sin against God, they open their doors to “help” man kill the image of God.
Planned Parenthood and other abortion mills must be closed but how will they close if we insist on committing adultery and fornication? If you cut off the means by which something is necessary, you eliminate their usefulness. There would be no need for abortion if people would get married and have children. Abortion would return to being rare (medical necessity, confirmed and verified, that the life of the mother is viably threatened).
Until there is abstinence, murdering the unborn will continue.
Do not sell out your birthright. Pursue holiness.
No holiness, no Lord, no heaven.
It’s just that simple.
However, it’s deeper than that.
Some women lust for the pastor as much as some pastors lust for women in the house of worship.
In the church, there are many women looking for “love.”
This is code for “sex.”
Many will not own up to it, nor admit it, but this is the bottom line.
Few women know how to avoid a good looking single or married pastor. Even when the pastor is walking in the Word to maintain his sanctification, there’s some un-sanctified women that will cross the line.
Younger women should learn well from sanctified women of God how to avoid the pitfalls of pastoral sexual immorality with congregants.
I’ve seen it happen to a man of God. A seductress came in and wrecked his home and church. Because of unbridled lust in his heart, he succumbed to an evil woman, and the rest was history.
In almost every generation, we hear of horrid stories of pastoral sexual misconduct but few of us look at the other side.
The mistress covertly comes and goes. Nothing is hardly ever mentioned because sometimes the woman is made out to be the victim. As pure as heaven. However, if you look closely in the Scriptures, you will see that the book of Proverbs uncovers several kinds of wicked women.
loud and rebellious,
religious or form of godliness,
Their house is the staircase to hell, the Bible says. See Proverbs 5:5, 7:27.
Here is some very helpful information in the Word of God to help women avoid this danger that lurks in the flesh.
As in previous blogs, we know that pastors take advantage of emotionally unstable women. However, we must remain focused on this issue because of sin. The Lord Jesus lovingly confronted sexual sins among women when He was at Jacob’s well, when the woman that was caught in adultery was brought to Him, when Jesus cast seven devils out of Mary Magdalene, and another sinful woman that cried tears on the feet of Jesus and she wiped them away with her hair, for her sins were many.
In each instance, it wasn’t condemnation but Jesus was ministering to them to deliver them.
We all know that it’s not just the woman but the men with lust in their hearts.
Part of the mystique of women is their ability to make it seem like it’s not the way it looks.
Hence, the need to “beautify.”
The need for “makeup and false eye lashes and eye brows.”
The need to “nip and tuck.”
The need to “smooth it over.”
The need to “flatten the tummy, push up the cleavage, and firm up the backside.”
These things cover a multitude of faults and sins.
Pastor, this verse is for you.
Proverbs 6:25 “Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”
Attire of a harlot does happen in church services, every Sunday. Praise and worship, prayer, preaching. It doesn’t matter. There is no fear of God before their eyes. If people were afraid of God, people would not do the things they do. And “saved” folk wouldn’t wear what they wear; like as if they were going to the club.
Proverbs 7:6-10 says “For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, And saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of understanding, passing along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night. And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.”
The opposite is modest apparel.
1 Peter 3:3-4 says this about wives, but it is also applicable to women in general. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel — rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
1 Timothy 2:8-10 says “I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.”
Low cleavage body hugging dresses, tight pants, stilettos, sleeveless blouses, above the knee dresses is not “modest apparel.”
These things masks the reality and attracts the dogs in the house of worship.
You could always tell the kind of person they are by their conduct. No matter how pretty they look, their conduct is the reality. Look past the smooth words and you will see the real person emerge. Look past the beauty and you will never be deceived.
If some women would own up to it, the Lord could help them avoid the obvious. With single pastors it’s one thing. But a married pastor is a different story.
The ring on a pastor’s ring finger doesn’t mean much to the passive hunter looking to be a home and church wrecker. The shame is not too great. Let’s get past the shame and focus on what the Word says.
As a born again woman that loves the Lord, it is important that you grow in your love for the only Man that should be King in your heart.
The Lord Jesus Christ.
THE LOVE FOR GOD
In Luke 10:27, Jesus said “So he answered and said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’”
Jesus was quoting from Deuteronomy 6:4-6 that says “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.”
To abstain from lusting after being the pastor’s mistress, your love for God must be unadulterated.
Listen to what the Lord said about loving the Father.
John 14:15, 21 “If you love Me, keep My commandments. He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”
If you claim to love the Lord, a moment of lust throws your alleged love for God down the drain.
All sin is committed when person no longer loves the Lord. Doesn’t matter if you are saved or not. To cheat on God is the first step to all sin. It means that even though the Lord could satisfy the longing in your heart, you long for that which is forbidden. This is what happened to Eve in the Garden. Adam gave her what the Lord said but she looked for a way to have that which was forbidden.
It was a combination of the desire for power and the desire to have what you were told not to have.
For some women, even though they were told that they cannot have a married man, it isn’t enough. To accomplish the goal of having a married man you must stop loving the Lord.
To reverse this, you must get into the place of prayer and fasting to suppress the mind and body.
Then you must read some Scriptures to help you subdue the flesh.
MAKE NO PROVISIONS FOR THE FLESH
Romans 13:13-14 “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
ABSTAIN FROM FLESHLY LUSTS
1 Peter 2:11 “Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul,”
As a note, the word “abstain” means to “hold oneself out.” Or to hold out.
SUBDUE AND DOMINATE YOUR FLESH
1 Corinthians 9:26-27 “Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
GUARD YOUR HEART
Proverbs 4:23 (AMP) “Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.”
GUARD YOUR EYES (WATCHING TV)
Psalm 101:3 (AMP) “I will set no base or wicked thing before my eyes. I hate the work of them who turn aside [from the right path]; it shall not grasp hold of me.”
1 John 5:18-19 “We know that whoever is born of God does not sin; but he who has been born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him. We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one.”
WALK IN THE SPIRIT
Galatians 5:16-17 “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”
1 Thessalonians 4:1-5 “Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;”
SUBMIT TO GOD & RESIST THE DEVIL
James 4:7-8 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
Notice what the Amplified Versions says….”You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood.”
Many have said that masturbation is either the beginning stage of homosexuality. Others have said that it is a form of homosexuality.
Simply because you are doing you.
Solo sex is homosexuality.
There were many days during the 33 years of bondage to self gratification, commonly called masturbation that I yearned to be free but I never got to the point of shedding my own blood to stop this sin of self homosexuality. Even after I established a date to remind myself of freedom, it became a date of governing my flesh. Not out of fear of God to live holy, but self glorification that “I” beat this Goliath.
After accumulating vast knowledge on sexuality and what made me do what I do, I found out that I was doing this in my own strength to glorify me.
After a discouraging men’s meeting on Secret Sexual Sins in 2012, I went back to my old ways and habits of self gratification.
It wasn’t as intense as it was before but it was a departure from keeping my word with the Lord.
After assuming that my deliverance was not going to be “discovered” and brought to the forefront with engagements to share my new found freedom, it was easy to get back into the ritual of self sex. There was that moment where I thought that there would be hundreds of men trapped in Secret Sexual Sins that would come and be free.
Not to be the case.
Men are more entrenched in Secret Sexual Sins than ever before. It appears that it is escalating in unimaginable undocumented ways.
Regarding my relapse, I didn’t need porn because it is very easy to fantasize about having sex with your imaginary bombshell. Besides, while every man will cross a line they say they wouldn’t, going back to porn would only open up a can of snakes that no one is able to put back.
Suppressing the fact that porn and masturbation is called “idolatry,” both of the male anatomy and the female figure as the object, returning to masturbation was easily achieved.
Then you hear the voice of the Lord.
While hearing that word, you could feel the smile of approval from the devil while your flesh is satisfied.
You see, the flesh doesn’t care about being a hypocrite because it got what it wanted.
It’s like stealing drugs from a pharmacy. The adrenaline, testosterone, vasopressin, then the reward drug after ejaculation or climax……
Then the heart offends God. Conviction from the Holy Spirit within you sets in, and BAM!!!!!
While this drug could be acquired with normal sex with your wife, the act of pleasing yourself the way you want to be pleased transcends a normal sex life because you are in control of every moment until climax.
The power of God was never intended to provide a loop hole to sin at will.
Remorse or repentance?
Which way will you go?
You know if you go towards remorse, it’s only because you got caught in eternity past but manifested now.
Be done with it. Confess and forsake masturbation to regain your relationship with The Lord.
There are consequences that’s connected to every act of sin.
There are many men that do not believe that masturbation is a sin.
While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that condemns the act of masturbation, there is no specific Scripture to condone masturbation, barring conjured up inferences of Scripture.
Silence of Scripture is not to be perceived as permission.
Besides, if Jesus masturbated, then we can be like Him.
Get the point?
God never designed sex to be done as a solo act. Sex is to be a moment shared between two persons in holy matrimony. The “one flesh” principle as recorded in Genesis 2:24, gives man and woman the legal parameters for engaging in sex.
Masturbation circumvents relationship, marriage, and bonding with the opposite sex, as well as procreation. Just as sin separates you from God and joins you with the devil, masturbation also separates you from your wife. You might feel good for a moment because of the dopamine but it is short lived.
The conviction overwhelms you and you are back into the destructive cycle that only asks for more ways to be satisfied.
You find yourself no longer in control.
You find yourself back under the slave master of answering your urges and impulses instead of answering the call to prayer and the Word of God to fight against the flesh and mind.
Is it possible that the Lord wants us to shed our own blood? To pull our eyes out? Cut our hands off?
To do what ever it takes to stop sinning to ensure that we enter into eternal life maimed than to enter into hell whole?
I am not advocating the physical removal of organs, hands, feet, eyes, penis, whatever.
But I am advocating imposing stringent means and methods to prevent sin from reigning in our mortal bodies. No I haven’t shed blood but to what level of holiness are we willing to go to to be worthy of eternal life? If we try to do it for self glorification, we will never achieve what the Lord really wants.
A willing heart that loves Him more than we love our sin(s).
A mind that desires to be flooded with the light of His Word on a moment by moment basis.
A body that becomes a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is our reasonable service.
So how do we deal ruthlessly with masturbation?
1. You must “Submit yourself to God…..resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
Submitting to God requires abandoning all of the tricks of the trade and regurgitated justification arguments.
James 1:14-15 says “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”
Within all of us are things in our flesh that is subjected to temptation. satan knows what we like to see and do in our flesh and minds.
How do we cut him off? How do we shut down ourselves to submit to God?
2. You must avail yourself to use “The weapons of our warfare [that} are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Bringing into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”
The high place must be removed. In the OT, most of the kings failed to remove the high place. All the other reforms took place, but they’ve always failed to remove the high place. This is indicative of a deliberate act to return after a season.
To cast down imaginations or reasonings, we must give up attachments of sentimental value. If you value masturbation, the fulfilling of the desires of the flesh and mind more than loving God, your treasure is where your heart is. When something is valued higher than God and His Word, it is a matter of time before what you value is eternally dethroned. Taking you with it………….to hell.
It’s not enough to cast down imaginations. The next step is to bring it into captivity EVERY THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ.
It’s when we do the Word that the effects of the stronghold wane. The more we yield to the Lord, the more we put distance to things that are still fresh in our flesh.
3. You must learn to lean on the Lord to escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
The way of escape is just as easy as the way into Secret Sexual Sins.
You must instantly obey. Choose to not instantly disobey. Every moment counts. God does send distractions. Will you obey the Lord when He sends the distraction? I find that when we deliberately get up from the bedroom, we easily shut off further escalating deeper into obeying the will of the mind and flesh.
Testosterone can be subdued. Go and work out. Clean the garage. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Go and pray. Read a non sexual book.
Anything to get your mind off of sex is a way of escape.
Finally, 4. You must be accountable to someone. James 5:16 says “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Confessing your faults is not easy. It takes courage to sit with someone you trust that will not condemn you but hold you accountable. We need feet to the fire at times to never allow sin to be safe. We need a safe, loving, but firm accountability place to submit to one another in a powerful environment to help us when weak moments come. Tears of sorrow leading to obedience is better that pride and arrogance that leads only into planning the next time to sin against the Lord.
Also, do not be quick to start teaching people early in your deliverance. This is where pride and arrogance will creep up and cause a false sense of security to invade your mind. You believe that you are invincible and then you begin thinking that you are an expert. You think that you are on top of the world. But that’s exactly where many, including myself, fell to the traps of darkness.
As Paul said, “Take heed, lest you fall.”
Every step of victory is not for the purpose of bolstering your position and the world’s greatest deliverance preacher or sexual discipline coach. Each step of victory is designed to keep you from death. Be mindful that as long you you humble yourself, stay in humility, episodes of humiliation will be avoided.
The door of the prison house of sexual immorality never closes behind you. Prevention from living like a slave is always before us. Being a slave of sin with the prison door wide open is the grace of God given to every believer to walk out. Never to return when we are finished with sin for good. The only time the prison door shuts is when we die in our sins according to Romans 6:23 and Revelation 21:8.
When we flat line, all bets are off.
It’s not worth it. Sin is never worth it.
Forget about glorifying yourself to be exalted because you did it yourself. Under your own power, you have to keep it up. Under God’s sustaining grace, you rely on the Lord to help you through to victory on a moment by moment basis, for His glory alone.
To be separated from Him is worse than anything else. We must never let the sensation of sexual pleasure drive up to the place where we will never enjoy eternity with the Lord
Just a note before I begin.
The past few weeks, since I suspended writing for a season, it was extremely trying for me. Faced with potential illness in me and my family, financial pressures, and other issues, were surrounding me and that left me with the best option. Seeking the face of God.
In the middle of all this, the devil tempted me on FB with scantily clad women in the ad section and right there, I knew that the enemy was trying to set the trap to tempt me to engage in Secret Sexual Sins. Porn and masturbation.
But as David said, “Yes, in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me…”
We all know that the shadow of death means that something or someone is about to kill you. In order for a shadow to be cast, there must be light and the light shines on the person to cast that shadow. When David said, “For you are with me…” God clothed Himself in light (Psalm 104:2). It was His light that shined on the person trying to cause death.
No, it wasn’t a physical death threat in the natural made upon my life but when you are told to put on the armor of light, it’s not a beauty contest you are going to.
Each day is a fight to the death. Something has to die and someone has to live. Colossians 3:5 tells us to “mortify the deeds of the flesh.”
A really crucified life spares nothing.
The challenges that we face in this life can kill a person. It can kill a relationship in the Lord and it can destroy family cohesion. It is good sometimes to back away and assess what is going on and operate in the prudence and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
Since the last time I left off, up to this point, the devil had nothing in me. I like that when Jesus said it in John 14:30. When you pursue the Lord, Paul wants us to “…..learn Christ.”
Paul also said that “I may be made conformable to His death.”
Paul also said that “he never apprehended Christ.” That is, Paul never fully grasped Christ. Paul was still searching after Him, to know Him in power of His resurrection being made conformable to His death.” Moses, when He was before the Lord, even though he’s seen the glory of the Lord before, wanted to see the glory of the Lord again.
This is how our pursuit of God must always be. No matter how many times we have prayer at prayer meeting, and no matter how many times we see the Word of God, a freshness comes from the presence of the Lord as Peter said, “…that times of refreshing may come forth from the presence of the Lord.”
To keep the enemy out of you, you must keep the Lord before you, in you, through you, never to let God leave out of you.
God was teaching me that I do not have to yield to the sins of the flesh when trying times are before us. Just because there is stuff going on, it doesn’t mean that I engage in sexual sins to pass the time. Too many of us forfeit the hand of God working on our behalf in things that we need God to move on. God never moves in spite of our sins.
Especially when we know better. So when there is a trying situation, it is the time to pause and really assess your relationship with the Lord. Never let circumstances dictate to you what you shouldn’t be doing. Always let the Word dictate to you how to behave before the presence of the Lord in trying times. I’m told by Pastor Roger Jamison that the devil will wait you out to see if you will change your mind. To see if your “NO” is still a very emphatic, ear piercing, holy “NO!”
The moral will of God must be so strong in you that before you say “no,” the devil flees, because the devil comes to steal the Word like a bird taking seeds (see Luke 8:11-15) The devil can’t stand the praise of God that’s behind your “NO!” When you say “no,” all he sees is the greater One on the inside of you during the 40 days that Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. Can you say, without a shadow of doubt….“It is written?
Victory over sin is not cheap and neither is the fight to stay free of sin. A price is aways to be paid.
So, in this 8th installment, (I hope I got it right that it’s number 8, right? lol),
Pastors fall into Secret Sexual Sins because they refuse to let the Word of God dictate how to live in situations. It took me a long while to learn how to never let the circumstances drive me to look for relief. Releasing sexual tension in sexual immorality as a means of making me feel better about things is the wrong way to go.
The Bible says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
So instead of delighting in the flesh, I delight myself in the presence of God.
Many of us go through seasons of having desires and things do not pan out as planned. We get into situations that seem like it is impossible for God to do anything about it.
These are moments not to look to sin against God but to live in righteousness against the devil.
Lurking in the shadows behind the circumstances is the temptation to sin against God. You must resist him, as Peter said, stedfast in the faith. This is no time to be fooling around in the mud pen of sin.
We get into a waiting game and we want to get this waiting thing over with. Lo and behold, a hot beauty comes walking into our peripheral vision. The devil sometimes tempts us in the small things to get a reaction. How long you look at a man or woman and the intent of looking, determines why you are looking in the first place.
Temptation comes about because of the desires we have that must be subdued by prayer and fasting. Unbridled lust in the heart and mind is your personal play pen that must be dismantled (see 2 Corinthians 10:3-5). When we are struggling to keep ourselves, it’s because we have allowed the struggle to brew and stew. To get past the struggle is never easy. In fact, as long as we are in the tabernacle, we will continue to struggle. However, the intensity of the struggle has a thermostat attached to it. And the Lord has His hand on the situation to never allow temptation to go past a certain level.
1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us….“No temptation has taken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
When the Word doesn’t dwell in us richly in all wisdom (see Colossians 3:16a) for ourselves, that’s when the god of this world turn up the intensity of the issue or issues. That’s when we have to make a deliberate decision not to turn on something to watch that will open the door to sexual immorality. We have to make a deliberate decision not to touch ourselves sexually. We have to make a deliberate decision never to let situations get the best of us.
That’s what I’ve learned this time around. It was a great lesson. Major lesson. Now like Paul said, we must never get giddy about passing this test because if you are a veteran, you know that something else is coming. No rest. No breaks. You stay sharp by staying in prayer and the Word. And when prompted by the Holy Spirit, or should you do it on your own, be prepared to fast.
Flesh and the devil don’t like it but you have to do what you gotta do to make it through every temptation.
Never, under any circumstance, let the situation dictate to you what you should be doing. The Word governs and dictates the outcome.
When God looks at you, the outcome should never be in doubt.
Thanks to all of you who are still reading my previous blogs, words cannot express the gratitude.
And yes……..it is good to be back writing again, praise God.