We understand the impact of this incident that potentially over 400 pastor’s would be revealed. However, sometimes we do not count on a pastor to commit suicide. Sadly, it may not be the last pastoral suicide for pastors with their names caught on the list.
We grieve for the family he left behind. They somehow have to pick up the pieces to understand the magnitude of his Secret Sexual Sins and his suicide. Grace and healing is available from the throne of God. It will take time and we should understand that. No family speedily recovers from this tragedy. However, recovery and healing is possible. No one can ever fathom the loss, let alone the reason behind this tragic loss.
It is not safe to say that there would be no more pastoral suicides. Pastoral suicides has become all too common. We really do not know how many pastors commit suicide after such a discovery, but it is beginning to seem like there is no other reason. We know that the work load of a pastor, depending upon demographics, attendance, and counseling of people will take its toll.
Few know how to get away and get with God to recover.
Being a pastor places a strain on marriages.
While we do not know the inner details of their marriage, it is enough to say that every marriage is different. Dynamics are different and how to gauge the health of a marriage can only be done by the couple going through the marriage and what steps ministers and wives take to navigate the difficulties associated with marriage and ministry.
Sadly, the other end of the spectrum is that most pastors believe that they are indispensable. Or that they are super heroes and can save everybody while refusing to look after themselves. We are not saying that this is the reason, but it could be a vital part of the equation.
The other thing that is of grave importance is the pastor’s secret lives and their sexual activities outside of their marriages.
Secret lives include porn and masturbation, combined with acting out sexually with persons other than your wife, to be very specific. It underscores the importance to get before God to keep your heart clean, and to have “other eyes” on your life that you feel safe to let your hair down.
No pastor and his wife can do no wrong than to have someone to talk to and be transparent with to ensure that the devil has no place in their lives. Men are more vulnerable and too, they are more frightened to expose the secrets lurking in the hearts. It makes them feel less of a man and out of control.
But we should already know that God see us (see Psalm 90:8), and our secret sins are before the countenance of God.
The devil takes no prisoners according to John 10:10 and 1 Peter 5:8-9a. Therefore we should do everything in our power to keep our heart from traveling into the dark places. For in the dark places, no pastor can fellowship with God while walking with devils.
We pray God’s comfort on the family.
The story about this sad tragedy could be read here.
Everything happens in cycles. Start, engage, disengage, restart.
Sadly, more believers are trapped in the cycle of lust than what we are willing to admit. Resulting in many trips to the altar to repent. Even when the prison door to your cell is open, men and women refuse to walk out and really be free of porn and masturbation.
But first, let’s look at some serious statistics.
According to one source….”95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women. For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women.”
Fewer married Christian men (61%) admit to masturbating, only 13% consider the practice NORMAL.”
More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily. 55% of men and 48% of women masturbate at least once a week.”
As with any statistic, under reporting exists. We cannot “bump up” these numbers because we don’t know how many are not admitting to masturbating. Speculation destroys any chance at reaching the truth. Therefore, let’s just assume that these numbers are as close to correct as possible.
But what happens is that many of us are in remorse. There is a difference between remorse and repentance.
Remorse has a lot to do with being sorry that you got caught or the emotional pain of sinning again when you told the Lord that you would never do it again.
Working repentance is out of “godly sorrow….leading to salvation, not to be regretted.”
Working repentance declares that you are serious about stopping the cycle. You no longer want to walk in darkness while claiming to be a child of the light. This is hypocrisy.
“He that covers his sin shall not prosper but he that confess and forsake his sin shall obtain mercy.”
That’s Proverbs 28:13.
This is what we do when we cover our sin. Notice 1 John 1:6 from the NLT… “So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth.”
We find ourselves suppressing the truth and we deceive ourselves to engage in the pleasures of sin for a season.
Why? After the “remorse,” the urges and impulses return and we do the same sin over and over again. This is what born again believers do everyday. Those that profess faith in Jesus, go to church, read their Bibles, sing praise and worship songs, etc.
After many episodes of feeling the pain of watching porn, you get to the point where you want to get rid of porn. However, you have to ask the question. “What is driving you to watch porn?”
It’s called fulfilling the desires of the flesh and the mind to engage in masturbation. Self sex. Solo sex. Mono sex.
Porn is an accelerant. Porn brings intensity to solo sex. But it won’t be long before you will act on the temptation to commit adultery, fornication, homosexuality, or become a whoremonger.
Millions of men and women go through this every day. But something happens after you experience the pain of remorse.
The reset button was hit to engage in more sexual gratification.
What will it take for me to break free?
Galatians 5:22 says “The fruit of the Spirit is………self control…”
When you are not under control, something or someone else is. Something or someone else is ruling your life. Something or someone else is your god and lord.
In the world and even among professed believers, many have fallen prey to the lie that “masturbation is healthy.”
According to several sources, studies “suggests” that masturbation prevents “prostate or cervical cancer.”
Really? Think about how dumb this is.
As I was deceiving myself with the false notion of justifying masturbation, these and other arguments circled my head because of my refusal to sever emotional ties to the pleasures of masturbation.
CNN did a study about prostate cancer. The men that were diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer were men that engaged in adultery. This is not to suggest in any way that masturbation is connected to prostate cancer. Neither should we assume that a suggestion gives a green light to masturbate to avoid or reduce the risk of prostate or cervical cancer.
Let’s get back to spiritual morals based on the Word of God.
It’s about self control or the lack thereof.
To escape the cycle of lust, a man or a woman that is a child of God must look to the sexual discipline of the Lord Jesus.
Paul articulated the kind of discipline that Jesus employed when He walked the earth.
Look at 1 Corinthians 9:27. “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
While this is on the level for preachers, it is good for disciples too.
We need to discipline our bodies. In other words, we must tell our body not to engage in sexual immorality. It takes the help of the Holy Spirit to obey the Word of God to refrain from porn and masturbation. Just in the area of masturbation, it is a very tough habit to break and it takes constant vigilance to maintain your sanctification.
Preachers in particular are disqualified from ministering to people when we fail to maintain our sanctification.
The initial deliverance is met with jubilation. You believe that you are free. Everyone is excited but what happens afterwards is the moment of truth.
You are by yourself. You get the feeling that the urges and impulses are returning. You are on the Internet. Or you are walking the street and a hot looking woman or man walks by you. You take a peak, a glance, a stare. The magazine stand has a smoking hot body and you “check it out.”
The image is fixated in your mind. You meditate on it. And next thing you know, your flesh craves for what it had a day or two ago.
The moment of truth always comes at just the right moment when you thought you had it all together.
It is there that the Lord is with you according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
God will not allow that temptation to overcome your will to resist.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
The Living Bible says “My grace shows up best in weak people.”
It is when you are weak that the moment of truth comes. But that’s the moment where His grace shows up strong. It is now left to you to accept this grace and overcome, or yield to temptation and be overcome.
James 4:7 says “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
Successful resistance comes out of willful submission to God.
1 Peter 5:8-9 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”
You must remain sober and vigilant at all times. Do not let your guard down for one split second.
This is what Jesus did and this is what Paul did.
They constantly kept a watch on their lives by submitting to the Lord in prayer and the Word of God. Jesus need to submit to His own Word. It is amazing that the Word submitted to His own Word.
This is how we end the cycle of lust for porn and masturbation. We constantly keep a watch on our spirit, soul, and body.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your hear with all diligence for out of it (your heart) flows the issues of life.”
Psalm 119:9-10 says, “How shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! You Word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against You.”
Joshua 1:8 says “This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth but you shall meditate in it day and night that you may observe to do according to all that is written therein, for then you shall make your way prosperous and then you shall have good success.”
Guarding your heart is a day and night job. Paul said in Ephesians 4:27 “Neither give place to the devil.”
We close off all avenues where he once had access. Then we place a watch to prevent the enemy from returning.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says “For the weapons of our warfare are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations (reasonings) and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
As some of you know, Planned Murderhood is being vicious about stopping these videos from reaching the main stream because it is uncovering one of the most dastardly heinous crimes of the 21st Century.
A judge in Los Angeles, appointed by Obama who also is a financial contributor to his campaign has placed an injunction on the releasing of ANY videos obtained by means of an undercover sting operation. Talk about conflict of interests.
All levels of government is affected because there is a law in the books that prohibit the use of an murdered child for the harvesting of body parts.
This revelation is Luke 12:2 in the works.
It seems to me that the only way to stop this crime is to reveal what is really going on behind the scenes.
Planned Murderhood is not following the law. It is deliberately breaking the law.
The evidence is overwhelming. Since the courts are corrupt, it makes no sense trying this case in court. Putting it on public display is the only way to get to the heart of the matter. Since there is so much money involved, the only way to stop this madness is to expose it by ignoring a court order. Because the courts will finagle the rules and circumvent the law to protect the billions of dollars that is funneled through the hands of murderers and their accomplices.
The reason why they want to stop this is because the money is traveling through hands in all levels of government.
Anyone on the money train will be revealed as part of the most elaborate conspiracy in the United States to put killing centers in minority neighborhoods, kill their babies, and then sell their hearts, lungs, pancreas, liver, brains, and other organs to the highest bidder.
If this were played out like Watergate, there would be no question about ethics and integrity in government.
With this generation of politicians, there is no ethics and no integrity. Justice is being trampled on and something had to be done. The injustice to 58 million babies and counting has gone on long enough. It seems to me that the Lord is giving this nation not any more chances, but lifting up its skirt to embarrass this nation.
We cannot tell other nations about their human rights when we kill babies by the score and then sell their body parts to the highest bidder. These draconian methods almost make Hitler look like a not so bad a guy for being responsible in killing 6 million Jews. NOT!!!!!!
This destruction of innocent lives puts the United States on equal footing with Hitler.
In defiance of the court injunction, another video is released.
And rightfully so.
We have no problems with regular undercover stings when crime is committed. But when a crime, paid for with federal money is committed, we rush to cover it up.
This is the biggest scandal to rock the Obama administration and his connection to Planned Murderhood.
As I have said, up until this point, the president has not been tested.
This is just part of this testing. The winds of judgment are about to be unleashed in this nation resulting from opening the flood gates of homosexuality, suppressing the church from speaking the truth in the Word of God, and abortion/murder of innocent children and then harvesting their body parts to be sold for money.
As this article clearly stated, the money that is obtained is paying the Democratic party. And I dare say a few Republicans too. The vote to defund Planned Parenthood failed in the Republican controlled Senate.
Yes, Democrats should have crossed party lines to defund this draconian organization but they are the recipients of money for their campaigns. To turn on Planned Murderhood will cost them, perhaps millions of dollars to stay in office.
And should any Democrat turn on Planned Murderhood, they will find an opponent that will take Planned Murderhood money to continue the slaughter of innocent children and the harvesting of body parts to be sold.
What does this have to do with the church?
That’s an easy question to answer.
The church has been silent about this issue because the federal government has put an atmosphere of fear in pastoral leadership. Also because of Democratic programs in “Faith Based” programs, whatever funding they are getting would be removed. Also, especially among African American congregations, they predominantly are Democratic and the rule of loyalty is still strongly adhered to.
It is considered a sin to walk away from the federal government because the government helped them out so much.
It is time to make a clean break from any party that looks to take advantage of a handout for party loyalty in the voting booth.
This sin before God is about to be judged severely. We have already experienced several waves of judgment. That’s the way the Lord works according to Amos 4, the book of Judges and the Books of Kings and Chronicles. Whenever the king did what was right in his own eyes and cause the nation to sin, consequentiual judgment would occur.
Sometimes the nation would repent and they would get peace in the land until the next time.
Sometimes one generation after the other would continue in sin and increase in sin.
This generation of Americans have followed the same pattern.
This will be handled swiftly by the Lord. What is to come will not be pleasant. We must pray that America repent and that the church would warn of what is to come should there be a refusal to repent.
Never mind the false church. Those that agree with Planned Murderhood and the sin of homosexuality. They were never the real church to begin with. They were impostors. Antichrists. They were never believers to begin with. They crept in crawled in, snuck in and acted like us until it was time.
The fifth video from the Blaze could be seen here.
If you believe that you are still bound to porn and masturbation, just know that the demons are behind it. Your will is also involved. When you refuse to break free, the demons will help you to reason your way into staying bound. This is another very good reason to fall on the stone to be broken before God to be free of masturbation.
Breaking free of porn and masturbation demons is the toughest area for 80% of professed Christians and 43% of pastors and ministers.
This father’s day (06-21-15), the best gift that I can offer is the Lord Jesus’ power to break free from the power of the devil in porn and masturbation.
For over 33 years, I was bound to obeying the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and mind, and the pride of life.
For 10 of those years, I needed more fuel to add to the fire of masturbation.
This sin took me further than I was willing to go. Kept me longer than I was willing to stay. Cost me more than what I was willing to pay.
Porn became that fuel in the fire for fulfilling the lust of the flesh.
I didn’t realize that demons were behind it all.
When my wife confronted me with this vile sin, she prayed for me.
But it was only until the Lord spoke to me as I was watching porn and masturbating that He said, “Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”
It was then that I stopped watching porn. November 2008. Masturbation was an issue until 2009 but relapse entered into my life.
Then the Lord said to me, “You must put together all that you have learned, otherwise you are a HYPOCRITE!!!!!”
The demons of lust will never be finished with you even though you may be finished with them. They will come back to see if your “NO!!!” is still no!
Pastor Roger Jamison told me that H. B. London said that these demons will chase you down till your last breath. But there is a power and a grace that outperforms every temptation to masturbate.
Temptation is just an offer. We either accept the offer or we reject the offer.
You may be struggling to withhold yourself and you may have lost the battle to maintain your sanctification and your promise to stay holy. There may have been times when you wanted to give up because the urges and impulses in your flesh overwhelm you.
There is power in the name of Jesus!!!
The demons do not have any defense for the Word, the place of intense prayer, and the name of Jesus.
Jesus stripped them of their power and authority.
This is a fight for your life. You are not hopeless and this is not the end of the line for you. You can be free if you make every effort to confront the enemy. David ran towards Goliath. But before you run towards your Goliath (porn and masturbation), you must slay the lion and the bear. If you haven’t slain a lion and a bear, you cannot defeat Goliath.
The lion is the mind engulfed in thoughts of sin. The bear is your flesh, planning to sin.
If you kill or deadened the mind and the flesh according to Colossians 3:5, you are eligible to run to Goliath (porn and masturbation) and put the rock in it’s head. But it is not enough to put a rock in his head. To ensure that Goliath is dead, there must be a cutting off of his head from his body.
If you fail to have no sympathy for your mind, flesh, porn, and masturbation, they will turn and kill you.
There is a powerful introduction to a powerful book on demons and masturbation, it can be read here.
There are many professed believers that watch porn. Few would be willing enough to confess that Jesus is there, watching porn with them.
To them, as it was with me, we’ve completely ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus is watching what we were watching. Some consider this to be a joke but when you look at several verses of Scripture, we see that the Lord is there with us, watching what we are watching.
Therefore, it is not a joke.
We who claim to be in Christ and Christ is in us, know for a fact that the Lord is present.
Every time I watched porn and masturbated, the Lord was right there. You can know that He was disgusted with the performance of sexual sin in my life.
In fact, at one point, He was so angry, that while I was watching porn and masturbating a few years ago, He said to me, “You could be watching your own daughter.”
Sadly, that didn’t shake me up to stop. I suppressed the truth in unrighteousness. But what He said to me stayed with me until December, 2008.
After receiving a much needed miracle, I went back to old habits.
While watching porn and masturbating, the Lord said to me, “Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”
That’s when I knew it had to end or else.
At that moment, the fear or being very afraid of loosing it all became very apparent.
If I refused and rebelled, I would be devoured.
The fear of God taking away that much needed miracle, let alone, the fact that dying in sin would place me in a position of jeopardizing my salvation. It’s a scary thing to die in sin. The Bible tells us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” and “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”
Many have taught the fear of the Lord with one definition in mind.
But in the definition, many have left out this definition. “The dread…”
We have forgotten how to be very afraid of the God of heaven and earth. So much so that sin becomes easy to commit because we are not afraid of God. We have convoluted our minds and erected another kind of god that we want who would look the other way when we sin. Gives us permission to sin based on the warped reasons behind what we do.
We say things like…….“God, you understand me. You know my heart.”
Yes, God knows that our “…heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Jeremiah 17:9
We say things like…… “God, you know I can’t do without extra curricular releasing sexual tension.”
Yes, God knows that “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (no human waste) but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
This is how the devil gets us.
We watch certain TV shows that lead us from minor lewd stuff, to salacious shows that trigger lust in our flesh, to soft and then hard core porn.
Some of the shows that are being watched today is just a door to porn. As soon as the show on the national network goes to a hot sexy steaming episode and then fade to black, you know that this isn’t enough.
You take it to the next level.
Or even worse. You search for a prostitute, or you are involved with an immoral woman in adultery. If you are single, you are probably fornicating or having illegal sex outside of marriage.
There is no question in my mind that you know that the Lord is watching.
But here are a few Scriptures to remind you.
2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”
Ezekiel 8:12 “Then He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken the land.’”
Psalm 139:7-12 “Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”
It is true that these Scriptures will not deter a man or woman bent on watching porn.
Sickness and disease will not deter an immoral man or woman from sexual immorality.
Getting caught is not of concern for the sexually immoral people because what is more important is achieving the goal of covetousness, which is idolatry (see Colossians 3:5). The goal of covetousness is to “get off.”
That’s why immoral men and women “suppress the truth in unrighteousness…”
Sexually immoral men and women suppress the truth in unrighteousness because they want to continue in sin, thus, remaining in their bondage.
Yes, and Jesus is there. Watching it all. It’s all being recorded in a book. Every sinful thought, every sinful word, and every evil deed. Everything is being recorded, only to be revealed later in the day of judgment. To be used against you when you stand before the Lord on the day of judgment.
Romans 14:5-10-12 “For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the Lord, Every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”
This judgment is for believers, not for sinners.
2 Corinthians 5:10-11 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.”
As a believer, you and I have no business watching porn.
But just in case you believe that Jesus isn’t watching, you do not have to look over your shoulder. God knows how to be present and walk away from you at the same time.
For believers, we all have a chance to repent and get it right before we are judged.
This is where taking communion is potentially lethal.
1 Corinthians 11:27-32 “Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.
For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.
For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”
Verse 30 of The Amplified Bible says this….“That [careless and unworthy participation] is the reason many of you are weak and sickly, and quite enough of you have fallen into the sleep of death.”
So what will it take for you to stop sinning?
What will it take for you to know that the Lord is watching everything that we do and recording it. To be used against us on the day of judgment for believers.
For sinners, it’s worse.
From the Amplified Bible again….Revelation 21:8.
“But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the contemptible and the cravenly lacking in courage and the cowardly submissive, and as for the unbelieving and faithless, and as for the depraved and defiled with abominations, and as for murderers and the lewd and adulterous and the practicers of magic arts and the idolaters (those who give supreme devotion to anyone or anything other than God) and all liars (those who knowingly convey untruth by word or deed) — [all of these shall have] their part in the lake that blazes with fire and brimstone. This is the second death…”
So what do you do when Jesus is watching porn with you?
You already know the answer but many of you will not follow through.
Many of you will continue to profess to love the Lord but you love porn more.
Many of you will cry in hopelessness, get through that moment of relapse and cry tears in remorse.
Many of you will get over that moment of remorse and make provision to fulfill the lust in your heart, mind, and body, all over again.
I’ve been there.
Wondering if I would ever break free of porn and masturbation. Wondering if the Lord loved me. Wondering if God would forgive me.
Wondering if after all the frustration and disappointments in myself, that I would ever be worthy of His grace.
The ball is in your court.
What you do next will determine whether you remain in the house of bondage, or walk through the open prison door.
You were in an awesome moment with God in praise and worship. And then, as the Word is about to be preached, from the back, a young lady comes walking in. Your attention immediately changes from hearing from God, to hearing the urges and impulses in your flesh.
For women, you just can’t get your eyes off of the man of God. You can’t wait until the service ends to be charmed by a married pastor. After all, you honestly believe that he is all that. And you believe that he will give you much attention with what you are wearing.
Men and women attend church for the right reasons.
To worship God. To hear the Word of God. To grow in their relationship with God. To fellowship with the people of God.
But it has now become a common ground for sexual hook ups.
As one pastor puts it, if you are going to meet a mate, what better place to meet a man or a woman besides the club?
However, what has happened is that people just meet for the sex without the marriage. The benefits and privileges of marriage without the “till death do us part.”
To avoid the marriage part, MSM is prevalent due to the lusts of the flesh. Leaving the “natural use of the woman” is becoming more common. With the women, it’s the same. Entertaining the thoughts of a sexual escapade with the same sex as far as women are concerned, is now more common than ever.
The woman at Jacob’s well is a classic example of the search for water inside a thirsty soul.
Jesus addresses the problem by zeroing in on one common factor among all who are self imprisoned in Secret and Overt Sexual Sins.
In every person is the urges and impulses that are enlivened when a man or a woman is tempted sexually.
The woman at the well is no different than every other person (John chapter 4).
This woman had five husbands and she gave up marriage altogether to commit adultery with the person she was with (number 6). Evidently, she was dissatisfied with number six and quite possibly was on the hunt for number 7.
The water conversation could have been taken by the woman at the well as a sexual conversation but it sure didn’t end that way.
The Lord Jesus quickly maintained His sexual discipline and stayed on point with the Scriptures. The Lord knew that she was searching for something and had the answer to her longest needs. The need to worship God in spirit and in truth. The need to drink from eternal waters. The need to leave behind her “water pot” that she used to pull up water that she would thirst for again.
The “water pot” of sexual immorality, she didn’t need it any more because Jesus told her about herself and she finally broke free.
When you break free, there is no need for a “water ( sexual immorality) pot.”
I remember a story of a woman that was married and she just couldn’t stop having sex with other men. She convinced herself to believe that something was lacking in her marriage. She thought that by having sex with other men, she would be relationally satisfied. It didn’t work out as she planned. She ended up with Cervical Cancer. She finally got the help she needed and the Lord delivered her from the sexual addiction of multiple male sexual companionship.
Cervical Cancer is sexually acquired.
You increase the risk of acquiring this and other diseases with multiple sexual partners.
The well she was drinking from fooled her into thinking that she could be satisfied.
For men, porn operates the same way.
By looking lustfully at scores of women and masturbation as if they were there before you, is that seemingly endless cycle of being satisfied. It’s the carrot on the stick that no horse earns. Sexual satisfaction can never be achieved in the multiplicity of mates.
Sadly, women come to church with their “water pot” in search for fulfillment. To have a man is not the pinnacle of the value of a woman. To have the Lord is more valuable because only the Lord can fully satisfy.
It is good that men and woman come to church to hear the Word of God but when there is an underlying motive, the mind will pursue that motive until something happens. They will hear everything but the Word of God. They will do everything to give the appearance that they are interested in the Word of God. But underneath is that one thing that keeps them in pursuit for sexual immorality.
The men are the same way.
In the house of worship, the men are just as hungry and thirsting for sex with another woman.
Years ago, I remember going to a Baptist church as junior deacons. After the service was over, I thought that we would sit around and talk about God, and the Bible. After the benediction, they abandoned me and another junior deacon. I searched around the church for them and they were no where to be found.
I found out later that they planned all along to “hook up” with the other young girls of that Baptist church we’ve visited.
To my knowledge, I do not know if they had fornicated in pre-marital sex. But one thing is certain. It is clear that “youthful lust” was probably in the hearts and mind, and flesh. I could be wrong but my best hunch was that this is what went down.
Today, countless women are waiting for a man to make a move to select them to get married. Then again, there are others that could care less about marriage and they desire to have sex and call it a day. Ultimately, it is the longing in their hearts for what only the Lord could give.
Only the Lord could give true satisfaction.
We do not have to follow the ways of the world to achieve satisfaction. When we do things the way God designed them, we can have it and not have to live in regret for the rest of our lives. The right reason for coming to church is to flow in the plans and purposes of God and let life happen.
The Lord will bring the right one along and when you do it right, for the right reasons, you will see that God was looking out for you all along.
You can walk out of that prison door and drop those loosed chains any time you are ready, pastor.
Jesus said, “He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”
There are many pastors, ministers, music ministers, and musicians that are needlessly and unnecessarily caught in the world of porn. Some of them are on the verge of going deeper into acting out their sex fantasies. When I mean going deeper, there are levels and lines to cross. For the world of fantasy is not enough. There comes a point when a person desires to be what they see. The devil will accommodate.
You do not have to take things to the next level.
A man decided he wanted to take things to the next level after being bored with the world of fantasy sex. He called an underage teen for a meeting to have sex. She told him where to meet. At a diner. A friend called and told him about meeting an underage teen for sex in the same diner. So he said to himself that he wanted to sit in his car and watch his friend meet up with this girl. His friend came and the girl came to the vehicle. As soon as words and money were exchanged, the police lights flashed and cop cars surrounded his friend’s vehicle.
The man that observed this realized that it could have been him. He drove off very slowly as his friend was apprehended for soliciting a minor.
The Lord understands what you need and He will deliver, you just need to give Him a chance.
After watching a former homosexual tell her story, she ended the testimony by saying, “I gave drugs a chance, I gave alcohol a chance, I gave sex a chance. When will we give Jesus a chance?”
After sharing the Word of God at Prevailing Word Ministries, the Lord showed me something that He was doing in me. Many of us want that explosive deliverance. Others are in search for a quiet deliverance where no one knows what happened in our past. Regardless of the kind of end result we are seeking, the Lord said this to me.
“When you called for deliverance, I delivered you and when the temptation came, I was there. Except that when you called, it felt like no one was there.” I almost said, “WHY!!!” Then the Lord said, “I was waiting for your obedience.”
The silence hurt but the Lord was teaching me that my obedience must be for real and not a game. That once I felt that I have His approval, He would say yes. But He knows me.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
Yes, even for a preacher that knows the Word of God, the mind can easily suppress the Word to engage in sin. Yes, the mind can still operate as an unregenerate, un-renewed mind. Yes, the heart can still be deceitful and desperately wicked. And, no, we do not have two natures. The Holy Spirit, by way of the new birth, delivered us from the old demonic nature. The mind still need to be renewed and the body, our mortal or death doomed flesh still need to be disciplined.
Just read 1 John chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4.
When you make the initial decision to walk away from pornography, the grace of God to do so is there. However, the Lord knows when you are serious.
For instance, when I had finished viewing porn and masturbated, I felt the remorse set in that I’ve have sinned against God but I wasn’t really serious about repentance. For some of us, and I’m speaking for myself out of experience, I would resume the same night to watch and masturbate over and over again.
I wasn’t serious about repentance from sin.
I quickly “recovered” and started the lust process all over again.
You see, it’s always the same. We get to a point where the remorse overwhelms us and then we recover after the guilt. We quickly suppress the conviction of the Holy Spirit and we suppress the Word of God to engage in more false satisfaction.
This is what keeps us in the game of false intimacy.
Once a person get to a place where they want out of this vicious cycles, patterns, and habits, it will take a while to retrain the mind, thoughts, hand and sexual organs to discipline ourselves to recover to live God ordained, naturally healthy sex lives.
Do not misunderstand me. The moment you make a quality irreversible decision to lean on the grace of God to break habits, patterns, and cycles, the Lord will work with you to get you into walking, long term, in the sexual discipline of Jesus. With married men, it is different because Jesus was never married. However, the discipline is the same. After sex we just wait to have sex with our wives.
Proverbs 5:15-19 says,
Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
Sexually active singles will have a tough go at it because they have to endure no sex until they are married. Which is all the more reason to “find a wife.” As a single man, with more choices than to shake a stick at, all you have to do is re-establish holiness in the fear of God, walk in the Word of God, abstain from all forms of evil and commit to no sex until you are married.
For husbands, it’s more of a challenge because the images embedded in the mind obscures the beauty that a wife has. Porn has a way of deceiving you into thinking that your wife is not as perfect in bed or in looks. The mind has to be renewed to understand that beauty is a fleeting thing.
Therefore, you need to “cut off” certain things that impede your mind from thinking straight.
You have to be willing to turn off the television, ipad, iphone and other devices that give you access to viewing things that should not be viewed. You will have to avoid newspapers, magazines, books, and other material that definitely possess sexually explicit material. This includes the supermarket magazine stands and counters.
As Dr. Mark Laaser notes, you have to regain “sexual sobriety.“
It is difficult these days because of what is out there as far as scantily clad women and women wearing exercise clothing. However, the more you desire to please the Lord, obey His Word, and make a covenant with your eyes, sexual sobriety is achievable in a sexualized world.
To break free and to remain free is all about the decisions you make. It’s about obedience to the Word of God in not so convenient moments.
So here is what you need to do.
1. Cut Off Things That You Know That Will Drive You To Self Sex.
It is always the objectification of women that is trained in the mind of a man. The majority of commercials cannot sell items on straight themed commercials. So a pretty face and a body to go with it will sell the item, but behind all this is the spirit of lust. Because you know that you do not have the money to buy that item, so the devil leaves something for you to remember. A hot woman.
It’s the same with newscasters. Women doing weather as they strut themselves with feminine power. The movie theaters where the trailer shows their power and captures the unsuspecting male in a moment of heated passion. TV shows and DVD’s. No matter what, if you are not careful, you are going to take things to the next level. You will go to soft porn and then hard porn. You have to cut it off and pluck your eye out.”
As Mike Cleveland said, of Setting Captives Free, “Radical Amputation.”
Paul said that we are to put to “death the deeds of the flesh.”
The writer of Hebrews said that “We have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”
The writer is telling us that we have not reached the point where we deliberately shed our own blood to keep ourselves from sinning.
This is equivalent to what the Lord Jesus said when we need to “cut off the right hand and cast it away from us…or pluck out our right eye if it causes us to sin and cast it away from us.”
This radical amputation requires that we look at what has been tripping us up and cut it off. It goes beyond saying “NO!!!!”
It means that we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep ourselves from sinning.
From removing the TV from our homes, to cutting off satellite and cable service. From throwing away our laptops, iPads, and phones, to spending more time in the Word of God. From discontinuing buying and reading magazines and newspapers, to going to different grocery stores where the magazine rack is not the place to hang out.
From having an accountability partner to sitting in a group of men to hold you accountable.
What are you willing to do to break free, pastor?