Stop Playing With Yourself: Worshipping At The Altar Of Lust

Growing up as a kid, you hear things that made you think.

Statements like “go play with yourself” had that sexual overtone that everyone knew what it’s about. However, after a while, you find yourself doing masturbation more often than you realize. Until it becomes second nature. The muscle memory and the false pleasure of having sex with someone that isn’t there became more than just “playing with yourself.”

It turned from pleasure habit into a bondage that is no different than nicotine, cocaine, or alcohol dependency.

It’s addictive. Voyeurism, exhibitionism, and other obsessive forms of sexual immorality is not that far off. That’s because with self sexual foreplay, people that are not in control will engage anywhere.

The false pros of masturbation is no relationship with another person. No STDs. No pregnancies.

You schedule your day around it.

In 1 John 2:15-17, John, the beloved apostle of the Lamb said, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he that does the will of the Father abides forever.”

Lust is the law in the flesh of fallen man (male and female).

The law of lust is what’s behind masturbation.

The law of sin and death (see Romans 8:1-2) demands that lust be fulfilled, but we all know that lust is never fulfilled. It remains dissatisfied forever. Anything that is not ordained by the Lord is of the devil. The devil’s desires will always remain insatiable. Hence, the fallen state of man, these desires, unless put to death, will remain insatiable.

The corruption of flesh demands satisfaction.

The flesh demands to recharge to re-satisfy itself.

In the normal concept of sex, the reset to do it all over again is to be tempered or self controlled.

Lust is never controlled. It must be put to death.

In the last 6 years, masturbation was the most difficult thing to break. After 33 years from 1975 to 2008, a week wouldn’t go by unless I engaged in masturbation. At first, it seemed normal and innocent. Afterwards, I was hooked and developed a list of reasons to keep doing what I wanted to do. Even after marriage, I found myself engaging.

Lust after women “enhanced” this pursuit of sexual satisfaction. But satisfaction was never achieved. Even with introducing pornography in 1998, the satisfaction was never achieved.

Little did I realized that not only was I breaking God’s command about the sanctity of marriage according to Genesis 2:24, far worse, I idolized my desire to have self or solo sex.

It became my god.

The Lord God said to Moses in Exodus 20:3-6,

“You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image —any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.

For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

To put it as bluntly as allowed, getting off was worshipped.

At this altar of sexual immorality, I paid homage to the god of lust. The second god or idol was my sexual organ. What kept me worshipping at this altar was the dopamine. The drug of fulfillment and satisfaction.

This infatuation of getting this drug in my blood stream had me coming back for more and more every time.

All it took to get me started was touching myself sexually. Or a combination of things. Lusting after the flesh. The sexual objectification of a woman’s anatomy. At the end of the day, there’s no question what was going to happen. From 2008 to 2011, the grace of God enabled me to completely abstain from masturbation.

It was a great 3.5 years of learning how to control myself.

Dr. Mark Lasser really taught the lesson on self control. He asked the greatest question I’ve ever heard.

Can you do without sex with your wife and masturbation?

The answer is yes.

Hence, the definition of addiction recovery.

“To control, manage, or stop using a particular substance, thing, or activity.”

There are many advocates that encourage masturbation as a healthy sexual practice. This would fall under the category of “control or manage.”

However, if it is being worshipped, it must stop because God has no rivals. If God is enthroned on your heart, there can be no other gods.

In reading many books that reason with making seemingly viable excuses to continue masturbation, many men will accept these arguments and stand their ground when they are challenged.

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”

So the end is always death. What kind of death? Death in your relationship with the Lord. Broken fellowship with God.

It seems right to justify sin but it always end in death. You are tempted, you fall into temptation, you yield to temptation. The desire has conceived (egg – sperm unites). Sin is birthed. Death is the result.

In Matthew 26:41, Jesus said, “Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.”

Even with watching and praying, lust was lurking within me that I feared greatly.

The urge to touch myself sexually got stronger and stronger.

Mind you, I was praying. I had an accountability partner. I was teaching the men how to overcome.

Then the moment of truth came. After a setback at an event, discouragement zapped me so bad that I fell into the trap of touching myself sexually.

From 2011 to early spring of 2014, I found myself back into “playing with myself.”

To even try to deflect how I got back into masturbation or to attempt to minimize the fall is the worst thing in the world you could do. That’s because to falsely justify sexual immorality is a deception not worth going to hell over. Even to count how many times I masturbated to give a minimal number to minimize the blow is folly.

I also found out that you can’t preach effectively to sinners if you are in sin yourself. You are disqualified.

Since returning to the streets to preach, the reason that kept me from preaching in the streets was directly tied to sexual immorality running rampant in my life. There is no anointing in sin. God never anoints what He never appoints. Sin and holiness can never mingle. God’s temple cannot be full of idols. Jesus and satan can never have communion, fellowship, or unity. Darkness cannot co-mingle with light.

Ineffective living always leads to ineffective preaching. If you cannot live to obey the commands of Jesus, you can’t win a soul to Jesus. The crucified life demands denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following the Lord. Many desire to follow the Lord, but they never deny themselves (see Mark 8:34).

You deliberately cheat or defraud yourself from achieving a false pleasure to gain the highest pleasure.

Pleasing God.

You can’t talk about taking up your cross unless you deny yourself.

In other words, you stop playing with yourself.

Most ministers are ineffective because of the refusal to deny themselves.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”

Jesus said this in Matthew 5:28-30, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

This is not a stretch of revelation but you and I both know that the Lord covered masturbation because it takes an eye to lust and the hand to play. There is no question about it and to fool ourselves into thinking that the Lord wasn’t talking about self sex is foolishness and deliberate deception.

As Mike Cleveland of Setting Captives Free said, this is “radical amputation.”

If you refuse to cut off anything that is leading you to masturbate, notice what Jesus said….

“…for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

Will a person go to hell over masturbation?

Are you willing to let masturbation rule you like a god? And are you willing to risk it?

Remember what Revelation 21:8 says.

Remember also Hebrews 12:4.

“You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”

And NO. I am not telling you that you need to butcher yourself to stop sinning.

What is it that you are willing to do to stop sinning?

How far will you go?

Are you willing to pull out the TV?

Are you willing to give up your mobile device you use to spy out flesh to masturbate off of?

Are you willing to give up your passcode to your computer to an accountability partner and or your wife?

Are you willing to get off of FB or all social media?

Are you willing to walk across the street when a hot looking woman is within your periphery?

Are you willing to look in another direction when she is trying to get your attention at the magazine stand?

Are you willing to change channels if you keep your TV?

Are you willing to get up out of bed, pray and seek God when you are sexually aroused at night?

Are you willing to call your accountability partner to get prayer in your hour of temptation?

Are you willing to pick up the phone when your accountability partner calls on you to check up on you?

Are you willing to stop being evasive when asked the tough questions?

 

So let’s sum this up.

1. Lust must be destroyed. In fact, lust was destroyed on the cross of Christ according to 1 John 3:8.

But is lust destroyed in you? Colossians 3:5 is the answer.

2. God has no rivals. Exodus 20-3-6.

3. Excuses seems right but frivolous justification always lead to death. Proverbs 14:12, James 1:14-15.

4. Watch and pray. Matthew 26:41.

5. Discipline yourself. 1 Corinthians 9:27.

 

The Power To Do Without Solo Sex

There are many males and females in the Body of Christ that cannot do without solo sex called masturbation.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

The reasons range from, “There is nothing in the Bible that says that I can’t masturbate,” “I’m on a long distance trip away from my wife, I got to “get off” before I go crazy.”  to “My spouse is sick and I need to let off a little sexual tension.” “To keep myself from fornicating, committing adultery, or get a girl pregnant, or get an STD, I masturbate.”

While it is true that there is no specific verse of Scripture that says that we can’t masturbate, equally, there is no Scripture that says that you are permitted to engage.

A lot of people have accused proponents of no masturbation that we engage in extra Biblical standards. I call it “elasticity of the Scriptures.”

Meaning that we’ve stretched or added to the Bible to prohibit the practice of masturbation.

I’ve been accused of this as well as other men and women of God that broke free from masturbation.

The grace of God operates in us as we obey the Word of God to abstain from every appearance of evil.

Just as people will read what I’ve just said, they will say, where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil?

No where in the Bible does it say that masturbation is evil.

But we know that selfishness is evil. And masturbation is not about selflessness but it’s about selfishness.

If you cannot control yourself, then you are selfish. Right?

This question requires a Yes or NO.

Is masturbation about selflessness or selfishness?

Yes or No?

Then why did I say that it is evil?

Aren’t you “stretching” the Scriptures?

Genesis 2:24 says these words….“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

When it comes to solo sex, you are having sex with yourself. God created Eve for Adam. There is no where in the Bible where we see that Adam masturbated. If that were true, that Adam masturbated, then Eve, or the body of a woman wouldn’t be necessary.

Also, look at what the Lord said in Genesis 2:18.

“And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Solo sex is a sex act alone. You are fantasizing sex alone or by yourself. So because God said it is not good that man should be alone, it doesn’t take calculus to figure it out.

Masturbation would be necessary if God never intended to make Eve for Adam.

Since God made Eve for Adam, masturbation is not necessary.

Let me point something out.

Many masturbators will argue that there is nothing wrong with occasional masturbation, or experimental masturbation. Usually proponents of masturbation will defend rigorously the solo sex act.

Masturbators will create reasons to defend masturbation but the ultimate undeniable reason is……

Lust in the heart.

In reading several books on this subject, there are many men that use porn to increase the arousal to perform solo sex. As one man of God put it, “You do not need porn to masturbate, I got porn all in my head.” All you need are fantasy or thoughts, and urges and impulses to get you going. In one book called “Every Young Man’s Battle,” a young man said “I find it very difficult to masturbate without thinking lustfully.”

Then again, you may not have to have a beautiful woman in your mind to masturbate.

You could lust after you.

You could have an infatuation of your own genitals and the way you bring yourself to orgasm and or ejaculation.

Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword Of The Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY shared that masturbation is the stepping stone or “door to the beginning stages of homosexuality.”

As a man, you are doing you.

I know that MSM is a man having sex with another man but what is masturbation?

You having sex with you.

Therefore, masturbation is a selfish, obsessive fetish of your genitals.

Paul said in 2 Timothy 3:1, “…For men will be lovers of themselves.”

The word “themselves” means “fond of self.”

The Amplified says “self centered.”

That’s exactly what masturbation is.

Self centered.

Besides, it’s all about you “getting off.”

So if the Lord made a woman that you are to marry to have sex with, is there any justification for masturbation?

Listen to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 (AMP).

“But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire.]”

If masturbation were permitted, why didn’t Paul say, “But if they have not self control, they should masturbate. For it is better to masturbate than to be aflame…”

So the remedy of masturbation is to get married.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:2 “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”

Sex is designed by God to be shared, not for selfish solo sex.

There will be disagreement, and that is unavoidable, but the disagreers have yet to provide one Scripture to justify their position to justify masturbation.

I, and many others have given Scripture to remedy the need for masturbation. Yet, we have yet to see proponents of masturbation to present Scriptural justification to masturbate.

For instance, we expect to see from the proponents of masturbation the following…..Masturbation is justified because the Bible said……

But we know that we won’t see that.

Instead, we get…..“The Bible said nothing about not masturbating.”

Just because the Bible is silent it isn’t permission.

If something like sex was designed by God, then it will follow the Manufacturer’s Manual for use.

Jesus mentioned two things. Eye and hand.

Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

How many brothers and sisters in Christ will testify that they use their hands (female use of sex toys) to masturbate and they use their eyes to search for a sexual object to meditate on sexually?

Here, the Scriptures gives us the blueprint for sexual activity within the confines of the “one flesh” principle according to Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 7:9.

You can’t be one flesh by yourself. You need an opposite partner to become one flesh. Otherwise, you are in violation of what God originally intended in sex.

Again, if masturbation were justified by God, there would be no need for Eve.

Pretend sex would negate the necessity of a woman.

Therefore, when it comes to masturbation, “you are brought under its power.”

When you are brought under its power, it means that it has control over you. The way that the flesh is designed, according to Dr. William Struthers in his book “Wired For Intimacy,” a man is “wired” for sex. He also said that “porn hijacks the brain.”

When you are brought under its power, at any moment, you can think about sex and the body of a man is engaged until sexual release takes place. A man that is under control will never give themselves over to his or her sexual urges and impulses. One of the fruit of the Spirit is “temperance” or “Self control.”

If you cannot stop, you are not under control.

In fact, even when you occasionally masturbate, you are not under control. Your lusts or animal impulses is managing the urges and impulses.

Complete control demands that you do not give yourself over to your urges and impulses.

The discussion of masturbation is still a taboo subject among men. One person in my secular employment said out of his mouth, “man does it all the time, it’s no secret.”

And he is right, Yet, to discuss it in the open is still a secret.

Why?

It is embarrassing. The conscience is still offended. Why is the conscience offended? It is a clear indication that you are doing something that the body is not designed to do as far as a solo act is concerned. Nonetheless, a man will engage in masturbation because he can’t control his urges and impulses the way Jesus did when He walked the earth. That’s why He gave us woman. We select a female to marry and we could have all the sex we want.

However, we have come to see that even while married, a married man is out of control. Having sex with his wife, still seems like it isn’t enough.

Why?

Proverbs 27:20 gives us the answer.

“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

The sexual process always begins with what’s in the heart of a man. Then he goes into search mode with his eyes. His body then makes provision to fulfill that lust in the heart, and sin, when it is finished, brings for death (see James 1:14-15). If you ever wonder why you have that “condemned” feeling after you’ve masturbated, it’s because you sinned against your body.

Look at what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”

I trust that after reading this that you would seriously consider that God is looking to help you overcome solo sex.

If you are single or married, and you are struggling to stop masturbating, there is some help on this blog page. Sexual Addiction Recovery.

Usually when you are participating in the practice of Secret Sexual Sins and you fight to preserve something that you know is wrong, it is a clear indication that you are convicted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t argue to fight for it.

If you feel condemned and you want to argue about continuing to masturbate, I understand your position. Having been involved in masturbation for 33 years with relapse after breaking free and for 10 years of these 33 years involved with pornography, I too, argued until I came clean and asked the Lord to help me overcome masturbation.

There is help. You just got to be bold enough to break free and break loose from the arguments to continue to masturbate.

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