It’s part of the evil menu of satanic temptation.
Women that look to lure a holy man of God into the bedroom or hotel room which ultimately leads both of them down the steps into hell.
Many women feel that they are the victim all of the time. It is true that lusting pastors look to take advantage of an emotionally damaged woman but when you look at the other side of the situation, in her vulnerability, she will fall into temptation just as easily as a lust filled pastor.
While many will argue about it, it is clear that satan always look to use someone to trip up a pastor.
Especially holy men of God that is disciplined in the Word and the Lord.
And satan will use a perverted pastor to trip up a holy woman of God. This is a two way street.
What’s also lurking in the house of worship are homosexual plants. They too are on the lookout for lust filled same sex with people in leadership.
Sexual immorality is a critical sign of the last days. As Secret and Overt Sexual Sins increase in the world, where there is no discipline in the pastor and in people in the church, we will watch these things intensify. That’s why the pastor must take heed before they find themselves overwhelmed with sin.
It’s not worth going to hell over.
Being that this is the most prevalent sexual sin in the church that gets immediate attention, that is, seductive women coming into the church to take out a pastor or a pastor luring unstable emotional women, we see that we must institute absolute disciple to escape the corruption.
A male pastor, whether married or single, must enforce a strict discipline upon himself. We cannot stop women from coming to church, dressed provocatively. In most cases, we can’t prevent them from sitting in certain high visible places where there is a clear line of sight. We can’t prevent most after service contact or interaction between pastors and women.
Every male pastor is different. Some pastors allow themselves to be available to females for counseling and other forms of interaction. Some pastors interact with females after service during “meet and greets.” These seemingly innocent interactions are also potential seed planting grounds where “attraction and enticement” unsuspectingly takes its course.
If there is no caution, prevention, or discipline, it’s just a matter of time before innocent contact turns into deliberate sexual immorality.
But interaction and professional contact could be maintained.
Two elements must be discussed.
- Attraction to power.
- Attraction to beauty.
In many church services, the preacher is the main event. Sadly, his personality and emotional energy is an attraction to women. At the same time, some, not all women, preconceive in their minds what to wear to attract a pastor with her beauty.
A few years ago, I was attending a service and after the service, a young woman in a tight fitting, low cleavage, knee high dark blue dress walked up to a married elder in his church. He and I drove to his church that morning. I knew what this was. It was a set up. It doesn’t take much to see a trap walking.
How he handles his emotions after the service is the tale of the tape.
It is during these times that he is emotionally vulnerable. This is where he can forget that he just handled the Word of God. If he fails to maintain his holiness in the Lord, it is very easy to cross the line and engage in inappropriate behavior that leads to sexual sin.
The moments after the service is over is where he feels powerful. This is where the four “E’s” of ministry come into play.
It’s very easy to operate in the soul and transfer all that “power” into sexuality.
Male sexuality and male sexual drive is at its peak and if a man is not careful, it is not long before he will engage.
Let’s explain the four “E’s.”
When you have preached a message that is powerful, you feel that you are in an elite class or status. Top of the world, so to speak. This place of elitism is also called pride. It is there that women will applaud you or give you encouragement. Whether it is innocent or deliberate, you must guard your heart. This is not to put women down but it is meant to be on guard for the intent.
After receiving that “compliment” you feel empowered.
Like you are the most powerful man on earth.
Then you deceive your heart into thinking that you’re entitled to anything.
Then you operate in expediency – “(of an action) convenient and practical, although possibly improper or immoral:”
So when James 1:14-15 is in operation, it spells doom.
How do you avoid this?
It all depends upon you.
To what lengths are you willing to go to protect what God gave you?
Will you be Joseph or will you be Job? Will you be Ahab or will you be Samson? Or will you be like Jesus?
Joseph escaped but he was in the right place taking care of Pharaoh’s business but in close proximity to Pharaoh’s wife at the wrong time. Job said that he never lusted with his eyes in the 31st chapter. Ahab gave himself over to Jezebel, even though he was married to her. Samson had lust in his heart. Jesus had sexual disciple among women.
So how do you avoid deliberate feminine seduction?
If you are a single pastor and women approach you, if you have a trusted elderly woman in the house, ask her to deal with the younger women in church.
Notice Paul’s instruction to Titus in the second chapter of this epistle.
Titus 2:1-5 “But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience;
the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things — that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
If the younger women insist that they see the male pastor, it is a signal that must not be ignored. Not every young woman is looking to “score” like men are looking to “score,” but it is best to err on the side of good judgment and as a male pastor, insist that she see an older woman for counseling.
Most pastors have female secretaries. This is where the most interaction gets very personal and close. And this is where the most trip ups occur. Depending upon the size of the church, the need for a secretary will vary but this is also the very place where more attention must be paid in terms of sexual discipline. Not every female secretary is looking to score. But when a lust filled pastor or secretary is vulnerable, they will attempt to take advantage.
It’s not always during church service that interaction is occurring. Seduction can happen during the week with staff people.
In closing, we need to pay more attention to our marriages if you are a married pastor. The enemy is looking to devour you and your family. It’s not just the pastor that the devil wants to destroy. The devil will destroy the mistress, the wife, and the kids. The devil is not satisfied until there is complete destruction. So be on your guard at all times.
If you are single, you need to pay attention to your surroundings and maintain your sanctification.
Otherwise, you are another sad story for others to read about.
1 Peter 5:8-9a “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…”
November 2008 was the last time I watched porn and masturbated to porn. Being a hypocrite caught up to me as the Lord warned me on the last day to “Come Clean! Or Be Exposed!”
Psalm 90:8 says, “You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”
2 Chronicles 16:9a says “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth…”
Hebrews 10:31 tells us “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
Of course this verse speaks about when the Lord issues vengeance but if you’re in the crosshairs of being judged by God, it ought to be just as fearful.
Q: What made you want to watch porn?
A: Around 1998, we had Directv installed. At this point I knew that the temptations were there but at that time, I purposed in my heart (deceiving myself) that I wouldn’t watch porn. PPV porn was already on cable but we never got cable. Instead, I opted for satellite.
When you are channel surfing, you will come across salacious titles.
On the 100 channels, PPV soft porn would be on these channels. And that’s where it started. But it really didn’t start there. The seeds for porn were deposited in my heart as a little kid. Underneath the seat of my father’s car would be a book on sexual positions. It was there that the seed was deposited. My next exposure would be the movie houses on 42nd Street in Manhattan during the 70’s, which were notorious for pornography in almost every movie house.
Before the main movie, they would show pornography. As a kid, we didn’t have money to go to the movies every week. At that time, I had only been to the movies as a kid no more than 2 times. My parents didn’t like for me to travel because growing up in NYC, it was very dangerous.
Then a few friends of mine would ask if I wanted to go to a friend’s house to see movies. I went and there was nothing but porn. Planted in my heart and mind would be pornography. Therefore, it was very easy to “cross the line” and order PPV porn.
Then when Directv came, it made it easier for me to access porn discretely, or so I thought.
For 10 years, I would watch porn.
Q: Were you ever caught when you watched porn?
A: During one night, as I was watching porn in the bedroom, it would be then that my wife knew that something was going on. She turned over and caught me and that’s when I realized that I had a problem. A caught in Secret Sexual Sin problem. We call sin “a problem” to minimize the fact that it is sin. But when it comes to being caught, the Lord caught you before time began. Sin had found me out a long time ago.
Few of us remember that to be caught by physical eyes is one thing, so we try to hide ourselves from being caught by other people, but God caught us before we were caught by other people.
There comes a point where a man doesn’t care about being caught. All he cares about is fulfilling his sexual needs. It wasn’t about anything else. There is only one goal to achieve. Fulfilling the lust of the flesh. The risks of being caught was part of the territory.
Q: What did you do after you were caught by your wife?
A: I did what most men do not do. I admitted it. When you are caught red handed, you can lie about it. You can defer it by raising another issue to distract your wife. Or you can come clean about it. We sat together. She prayed for me but I couldn’t walk away that easy from porn.
Q. What would you say was driving you to watch porn?
A: That’s an easy question to answer. Years later, after reading some material on sexual addiction and in particular, Dr. William Struthers’ book on “Wired For Intimacy,” it was discovered that the stronghold wasn’t the porn. It would be the combination of porn masturbation or solo sex that reinforced the stronghold of lust in my heart, mind, and body. After watching Dr. James Dobson interviewing Ted Bundy, the serial rapist/murderer Ted Bundy was asked a question.
“Was porn the cause behind the rapes?” Nonchalantly, Ted answered…..“Porn wasn’t the cause. Porn was the fuel.”
Pastor Roger Jamison, pastor of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY, for a season, was my accountability partner (words can’t express the gratitude for this man of God) and he said to me that you do not need to watch porn because you have porn all in your head.
So porn wasn’t the cause, it was the fuel to the fire raging in my heart. When your flesh and mind crave to have sex, you can come up with a thousand images. However, when you want the full effect of the fantasy, a man or woman will go to porn. Another thing that Dr. Struthers said was that “porn hijacks the brain.”
In other words, you give yourself over to watching porn and give porn permission to access the chemicals in your body. I’ll get to more on that later but when a man watches porn, or even a woman, you are pretending to have sex with that image and you begin to touch yourself sexually. The lust or the desire to have illegally that person becomes strong. So strong that you are operating on the level of lust possession.
We must remember that demons are operating among humans all the time. While that person is on the TV screen, in the realm of the spirit there is interaction with demon power. You are literally giving yourself over to the spirit of lust. Demons seek expression through humans and the commission of sin is the way they manifest themselves.
Q: You mentioned that porn gives permission to access the chemicals in your body? Please explain?
A: Yes, your body has chemicals that must be accessed to enjoy the full effects of sex. In my studies on Healthy Sexuality and Sexual Addiction from Liberty University, by the way, these courses are not college courses for a degree, but they are nonetheless great material to understand what and why you do what you do. There are four chemicals in men that is excreted into the blood stream.
The first three chemicals produce the erection, energy, and excitement. Men are sight oriented. So when a beautiful woman shows up, the first three chemicals are accessed. The last chemical is dopamine commonly called the reward drug. After orgasm (point of no return), this drug is the pleasure drug.
So when it comes to masturbation, you are accessing these chemicals. It’s highly addictive. And that’s why when it comes to porn, porn is the fuel. Once you start to engage yourself sexually, it is very difficult to shut down. The mind and body gets very frustrated if orgasm isn’t achieved because the body is after the chemicals.
Q: You have given us so much information to glean from. So tell me. With all of these things operating in you, it seemed impossible for you to break free? How does a man break this?
A: Jesus said “With God, all things are possible.” There was a time where I consigned myself to never be free. In other words, hopelessness had set in. There was a series of lies running in my head. One of the things that the devil did was to ensure that I would never have the Word dwell in me richly in all wisdom. That’s Colossians 3:16.
Even though I was a professed believer, I wasn’t a delivered believer. For if I were truly a believer, and I thought I was, His Word would be kept in my heart. Hypocrisy is more about having a form of godliness that denies the power of God. So hopelessness set in. But thank God for a praying wife. Do not get me wrong. God’s power can deliver but it also takes a praying person. Whether it is your wife, mother, family, friends. God needs a vessel to pray for an answer to manifest. In fact, every answer from God is waiting for someone to pray for an answer.
Hopelessness is loneliness. The devil isolates you and keeps your mind from escaping into the Word of God. To break the power of porn and masturbation, you need someone that is willing to pray to God. If the price of freedom is to be paid, it is paid on our knees to God.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”
In that apartment we were in, the presence of the Lord was there. You do not have to feel that He’s there to know that He’s there. No man can break the power of demons in porn and masturbation by himself. In fact, this is the top area of strongholds among humans. Sexual immorality is the Goliath of our times. So we need the power of the Holy Spirit.
In that story with David and Goliath, we must understand that David did not win that battle alone.
That story is not possible without God’s power. When it comes to sexual immorality, we see that David had issues too. He was able to slay the Goliath on the outside, but David couldn’t slay the Goliath in his heart, mind, and flesh. A man can have access to the wonderful presence of God but until the Spirit of God has everything about us, those Psalms written by David really doesn’t mean anything.
It’s a tough thing to say about David because all of us have intentions on serving God but we really serve God in Secret Places. It is there that our true nature and character is revealed before the Father. It is there that the Secret resources of our hearts are laid bare before God. In front of millions, we can look strong, but when we are by ourselves, are we the same?
God knew that David would fall but He was waiting on David to make a decision.
Decisions Determines Destiny. If David had decided to go to battle with the kings, Uriah would have been alive.
Our prayers in public are only as good as our prayers in secret.
With the help of God, the prayers of others, and a willing and obedient heart, any man or woman can break free. In fact, the prison door was opened when Jesus died on the cross. There’s only one decision left after the question is asked of you.
Do you want to be made free?
Ephesians 5:18 says, “And do not be drunk with wine [porn], in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit…”
Several years ago, I was just starting my journey to the depths of sexual depravity. When computers came out, the Internet became the highway to information. But it also became the most powerful way to engage in sexual depravity under these conditions.
When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, you do not want people to know what you are doing.
Especially your wife.
You do not want to be denied, so easy access is to your benefit.
You do not want to spend more than you could afford, BUT you will spend what you have and neglect any bills that have priority.
While on the job, on my personal laptop, I accessed sites anonymously, or so I thought.
I never used the company computer because it was against company policy for which you could be fired.
Why can’t we apply that policy from God on our personal TV’s and computers?
Just a thought.
But we all know that your identity is already known because every computer has a code that easily identifies you. So anonymity is out the window when you get on the Internet. For instance, when you visit certain sites and never make a purchase, today, when you surf the Internet, that site that you were on comes up without your help.
It’s so advanced that your iPhone knows what time of the day you go home and tells you, without you asking, how much time it would take to get home.
So forget about anonymity.
In fact, because I blog regularly about sexual immorality, salacious sites, texts, and emails are sent to lure me back into the dark world of pornography. At one time, because I talked so much about homosexuality, a site meant for another person was sent. It was a cruise ship proposal where homosexuals from all over the United States book a cruise to engage in lewd conduct.
Getting back to computers. While I was surfing the net for porn, site after site came up. It ganged up on me and overloaded my computer. Several times it froze to where I had to do a reset to get the laptop to work. When I went back on the site, it acted up again because it was big business. If they gained access to your credit card or debit card, the charges would clear out your account.
I had enough presence of mind not to give them access to my cards because it would be a money trail that destroys any sense of control.
The lure would be that they would show you enough free porn and if you want more, you had to use your card.
Also, a sudden fear came upon me that, if by accident, I clicked a site for child porn, it’s an instant invitation to the FBI. The last thing that I needed was for the FBI to come to my job and arrest me for child porn. It doesn’t matter if you click with intent or by accident. You will be arrested. So that’s when viewing porn on my laptop was a thing of the past.
Internet pornography is a trap for men that are not under control.
That’s why if you do not regain sexual self control, you will not stop.
Dr. Mark Laaser told a story in his book about a pastor doing armed robbery to pay for his porn and prostitution addiction.
If you do not control your sexual appetite, you will do things that will not make sense.
1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”
When it comes to sexual immorality, you will not be under control.
You might think that you are controlling the circumstances but you are deceiving yourself.
There was a story in Dr. Patrick Carnes book about a man that went on the Internet to chat with an underaged girl. He contacted a friend on the Internet and they were chatting with the same “girl.” His friend decided to take things to the next step and made arrangements at a restaurant to meet with this girl. So this person that broke off the relationship decided to spy them out. As his friend got out of the car to meet this “girl,” police cars surrounded him and his friend was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex.
The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” with Chris Hansen, aired between 2004 and 2007, was an incredible show where men would solicit minors for sex. They would chat on line to set up the meet. Some predators would drive or ride their motorcycles for hours just to have sex with minors. As lawyers, doctors, mechanics, priests, and pastors from all walks of life, would come into a house, Chris Hansen would meet with them as the minor walked out.
As soon as they arrive at the house, hidden cameras were on and recording everything. A transcript would be made and Chris Hansen would read the predator’s real intent as the cameras would come out. These predators try to deny that they were after under aged girls and under aged homosexuals. After the conversation, the police would be waiting for them outside.
Pastor Roger Jamison of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY once told me that one person put it like this. Sexual “sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”
Sadly, many men will not listen. Even sinners with a dark heart towards God have a conscience. They hear that they should not do what they intend to do but they suppress it for the pleasure.
“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the PRIDE OF LIFE.”
The pleasure causes a man to throw away wise counsel.
On that show, “To Catch A Predator,” a couple of men said that they heard something on the inside of them telling them not to go. A few persons told Chris Hansen that they watched the show before. Another predator was a repeat offender. Caught twice on the same show. This dude had already appeared before a judge for the same crime………………the week before showing up at this house.
There are many wives that are suspecting that something is going on.
That inward intuition is usually right. In most cases, she already knows. It’s just that she is processing the information because any act of betrayal is too hurtful for most women to confront. It’s when the full disclosure after discovery occurs that she is able to start the process of confrontation.
Most selfish men will apply blame on the wife and try to act more hurt than the wife.
Granted, both are in pain. The discovery was painful for the man because he was exposed and the betrayal was painful for the wife because she thought that her husband wasn’t keeping secrets.
How does a man bring himself under control?
Nothing will be right until he settles the debt with God.
No man can win the battle of sexual immorality without other eyes watching your life.
3. Catching Your Moments.
If you are not willing to submit to God every moment of your life, all it takes is one look, and you are back to square one.
4. Guard What You Are Feeding On.
“Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27
“Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
If you are not willing to guard your heart and close the door, the thief will come with his best to bring you back into bondage.
5. Fill Your Heart With Good Things.
“Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:5
You must be willing to do what it takes to replace what you were feeding on to be filled with God and His Word.
Freedom is not free. Neither is self control. You have to pay a price for freedom. You have to fight until Jesus comes or until you breathe your last breath.
You might be saying that you are not a predator.
That’s debatable because if you haven’t stopped, you may be a predator to yourself.
Every line you say you wouldn’t cross is a line you intend to cross. It’s just a matter of time.
As time progresses, the devil hasn’t brought out his best for you just yet. There’s always that one hot looking male or female that he has in reserves just in case you stay longer than you supposed to. And when you break free, the devil has a long list of his best that he will bring to tempt you. He knows that you are not in control.
But you can out smart the devil by living as a dead man.
Romans 6:11-14 says,
“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”
Yes, it takes time to get to this stage but the more you yield to God, the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” will govern you as you obey the Hoy Spirit and the Word of God according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.
This is not about castration.
Although castration has more to do with the removal of the testicles. Now that I have your interest, pornography has been talked about in the church for quite some time. I do not believe that there is a wide spread discussion because there’s plenty of pastors that are still watching porn and masturbating on a regular basis.
In fact, without the statistics, I believe that there is a significant increase unless there is a statistic that will prove me wrong.
For my text, I will use a few verses of Scripture.
Matthew 5:29-30 “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”
As a side note, men and women use their hands to masturbate and lust for the flesh with their eyes. So if there’s any doubt about my inference of Jesus talking about masturbation……
Luke 9:23-26 “Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world (sexual satisfaction), and is himself destroyed or lost? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.”
Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Colossians 3:57 “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.”
Hebrews 12:4 “You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
While watching God TV, every now and then they would show the Winter Ramp of 2014 in Knoxville TN held at the Omega Center International (OCI). A brother would share his powerful testimony about being delivered from pornography.
The young men and women that are there (approximately 5000 or more) are seemingly attracted to the new found freedom to preach on a subject that in some places, is still taboo. However, it is very encouraging to witness young people being ministered to about this subject.
During the altar call, many young people responded to be free in Jesus’ name. While it is more of a testimony and ministry of the Word of God in this area, it is real, genuine and sincere.
The power of the blood of Jesus and the Holy Spirit broke the chains of those that desired to be free. Many of us that were in this filth are aware of the dangers of pornography. Many of us had seeds of the lusts of the flesh planted in our hearts and minds as early as 11 years of age during puberty where sexual experimentation is exploited.
We become more aware of sexuality as we are exposed to certain shows that exhibit more flesh than one could imagine. We have to assume that many of our young people are already exposed and the devil is waiting at every line that you say you wouldn’t cross, just to cross it.
There were many of us that drew a line and declared emphatically that we would never cross that line.
Except, that the last line that we crossed was a line we said we wouldn’t cross.
We all are aware that pornography is just like fuel propellant or an accelerant.
An accelerant is defined as “a substance or bond, mix, or disturb another substance and cause an increase in the speed of a natural, or artificial chemical process.”
This definition fits the description of pornography. According to Dr. William Struthers, “porn hijacks the brain.” The visual affects of the illegal sex (fornication, adultery, bisexual (threesomes), homosexuality) act stimulates the chemicals in the body to the point where the person watching is compelled to release sexual tension.
By the way, the reason why people in the church became more accepting of the sin of homosexuality is that while we were watching porn, we would watch two women and a man or one woman and two men having sex. This was a subtle way to make homosexuality palatable and acceptable.
Threesomes desensitized and brought callousness to our hearts and minds and acceptance of homosexuality is now very easy. Thanks to threesomes and orgies in pornography.
When a person watches a PG, R, or MA rated movie with sexuality and sensuality, the same goal is achieved. Accelerants are all over the place. On the highway with TV screens, billboards, commercials, newspapers, and of course, the Internet.
As soon as we see it, the “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” kick in.
Hence, my next point. When I see men and women make their testimony, only those that are involved with porn know what else is going on.
Watching porn is pretending to have sex with the images on the screen. No one watches porn and does not act out sexually. This is what some of us have been saying for quite some time. I realize that it is very embarrassing to talk about what we do when we watch porn but if we are going to deal with this issue, we must include the discussion on masturbation.
There are many people that do not believe that masturbation is a sin because there’s no Scripture in the Bible that prohibits masturbation.
Let’s flip this around and say that there is no Scripture in the Bible that permits the practice of masturbation. This is where the argument must go. If there is no Scriptural prohibition, search the Scriptures for Scriptural permission.
In the book of Leviticus, when there was an innocent, deliberate “seminal discharge” by way of a “wet dream,” the man would be declared “unclean.” This, in and of itself, is not the prohibition but the fact that a man is “unclean” after a wet dream is something to think about. What if he was having sex with his wife. Is he and his wife unclean after sex?
The answer is YES!!!
Leviticus 5:16-18 “If any man has an emission of semen, then he shall wash all his body in water, and be unclean until evening. And any garment and any leather on which there is semen, it shall be washed with water, and be unclean until evening. Also, when a woman lies with a man, and there is an emission of semen, they shall bathe in water, and be unclean until evening.”
This Scripture doesn’t mention whether or not he had a wet dream but it gives the appearance that masturbation is permitted because the next sentence deals with sex with the wife.
The next question is…….. Are we under this law? Absolutely not. We are under grace because of the Lord Jesus. However, when it comes to masturbation, which is solo sex in violation of the “one flesh” principle in Genesis 2:24, you must conclude that since God neither permitted or prohibited masturbation, it is prohibited, not permitted.
You can’t be one flesh with yourself.
Sex is shared between two persons of the opposite sex, in holy matrimony.
So where does this leave us?
There is no Scripture that says that masturbation is a sin.
On the other hand, there is no Scripture that says that masturbation is righteous.
Let’s look at the sexual discipline of the Lord Jesus.
We all know that Jesus never sinned. In order for Him to be the Lamb of God to take away the sin of the world, He must not sin. He must also be in complete control of every member of His body. Otherwise, He would be a tainted Lamb of God and that would make Him ineligible to die for the sins of the whole world. We know that pornography is a slave master.
However, if we were really honest with ourselves, the urges and impulses in our flesh are the true slave masters when left undisciplined (see Romans chapter 6 and James 1:14-15).
The urges and impulses in our flesh were placed there by the Lord. Under normal conditions (holy matrimony see Genesis 2:24), our sexuality is permitted. However, after the fall of Adam, it rages out of control until there is an illegal release or a deliberate suppression of the truth to engage in unlawful sexuality. We can say that we don’t watch porn any more.
The only thing that was done was the removal of the accelerant.
This is a good step, but now what about the urges and impulses that rage within you?
Have you found a way, by the strict obedience to the Word of God to discipline the flesh and mind? Have you entered into a place where you cut the head off for good? You see, Goliath was still alive when the rock sunk into his head. David had to make sure that he would not be counter-attacked.
To ensure that the giant (sexual immorality) is dead, one must pull the sword of Goliath from his sheath and deliver the final blow.
Severing the head from the body.
Again, looking at porn is just an accelerant.
What about the porn that runs around in your head? What about the chat rooms with women and men? What about that hot looking woman or man you run into on your way to work on the bus, subway, airport, the gym, the running paths when exercising or walking you dog? The newsstands, and magazine racks? The TV shows and movies? The Internet? The Weather Channel, CNN, FOX, CBS, MSNBC?
The church women that you see every week? If you are serious about the total discipline of your flesh and mind, you have to make up your mind to enter into the secret place of the Most High and do business with your flesh and mind. You must not shed a tear for the demon that ruled you without mercy.
If you conceal your sin, you will not prosper (see Proverbs 28:13).
You may have confessed to porn, and this is good.
The next step is to confess the bondage to masturbation and forsake it. For me, this was the most difficult part to confess and forsake because of the love of this bondage to fulfill the sin of lust.
When Jesus said, “Men loved darkness rather than light,” it’s everything that we do in the dark that Jesus wants revealed in the light. As long as it is in darkness, nobody has to know. But we know that we are only fooling ourselves.
When we expose it, God doesn’t have a story to tell and God can’t judge something that we’ve judged ourselves.
When we humble ourselves, we are spared His humiliation.
God wants the total man to be free. He sent His Son, Jesus to make us free. The truth is what frees us but it’s the knowledge of the truth, the deliberate action of permitting truth to expose the hidden, secret places of our lives that we find rest and peace.
Masturbation is that hidden, dark world that we sure would like to be kept as a secret, but it must be exposed and cut off mercilously. That’s because the demons of sexual immorality are merciless.
Psalm 90:8 says,
“You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”
As the Scriptures says, “There is no peace to the wicked.”
Walk over to Goliath. Your urges and impulses and prepare it for crucifixion.
Prepare to raise the blade without apprehension, hesitation, apology, or fear.
And with absolute resolve to use deadly force, CUT THAT HEAD OFF!!!!!!!
There probably was a time when the fear of God served as an incentive to abstain from the sins of the flesh.
Since the day the dispensation of grace entered, the devil uses the same old tactics to trip up the believer.
In the OT, Numbers chapters 19-25 revealed the reason why the children of Israel were stopped in the plains of Moab.
According to the Lord Jesus in the Book of Revelation, Jesus revealed the reason behind Israel’s failure. Balak, king of Moab, was in fear of the children of Israel because of the other nations that were wiped off of the face of the earth. The Moabites were so fearful that they got physically sick. To know that you are about to be killed would probably make anyone sick.
Balak asked for the services of a seer. The double agent, Balaam. Balak paid a hefty diviner’s fee to get Balaam to get the God of heaven to curse the children of Israel. God told the prophet that He cannot reverse the blessing. Not that God would reverse it because a deeper reason as to why God wouldn’t curse Israel is before Him.
The Seed (the Lord Jesus) was determined by the plan and purpose of God to come through Abraham.
To curse the children of Abraham would mean the end of the plan of God to send the Seed to save man. Below this is the fact that the Lord, by His immutable counsel, blessed Abraham and God will not change His mind (Malachi 3:6).
To further pervert man, sexual immorality is the one thing that was used in an attempt to pervert the promise of the Seed as spoken by the Lord in Genesis 3:15.
Sexual perversion among pastors is still a major issue. More than ever, it is being addressed, but not regularly. It’s only when we read about another pastor falling into Secret and Overt Sexual Sins that we start talking about it.
In most of Paul’s writings, we see that he addressed it regularly.
Notice what he said in Ephesians 5:3-7 “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Therefore do not be partakers with them.”
The word “fornication, fornicator.” It means “whoremonger.”
Pathetically, pastors that are not disciplined in their private lives, will be exposed publicly.
The combination of pastoral whoredom and parishioner whores is still wreaking havoc in the church.
Just because there are other subjects to deal with, if we fail to keep a watch in this area, we will get into trouble.
Jesus said in Matthew 26:41, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
If the disciples could fall asleep, there is no difference in falling into sexual sins. It is when we are not attentive to the moments of vulnerability that we fall into sin. Temptation comes at any time, however, it is when we are weak that temptation is at its strongest. The will to fight isn’t as potent. That’s why every opportunity of temptation is used to weaken your resistance.
Temptation is like a torture test.
Each drip is designed to break your will, where you just can’t resist that one hot looking man of woman. Sooner or later, if you are not careful, you will give in to this temptation and fall into sin. That’s why Jesus went to the place of prayer regularly. To avoid the place of falling into sin as a result of being tempted. The obedience He learned (see Hebrews 5:8 and Philippians 2:8), paid off and when it was time for Him to die, there would be no question about His resurrection.
The glory that He had before the foundation of the world would be restored to Him.
Just as Hebrews 12:2b said
“…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
His obedience earned Him the name that is above every name, a seat at the right hand of God, and authority over everything in heaven, earth, and under the earth. Until all things are subdued and then the Father resumes as Lord of all according to 1 Corinthians 15.
There is no question about the ratio of men to women. Predominantly, more women are in church than men. Women are not the problem. Sexually immoral women are part of the problem. The combination of sexually immoral women and sexually immoral pastors raises the potential of a scandal. When it comes to scandals, it all started years ago when sexual inquisitiveness entered people at an early age.
For people, being married to one person is not enough. “Extramarital affairs” is really illegal sex on the side.
When pastors and female parishioners commit adultery and or fornication, they risk being denied entrance into the kingdom. As Paul said by the Spirit of God, “fornicators” have no inheritance in the kingdom of God.
They must repent of sin. It is evident that the kind of whoremonger is that of the world, however, what about those that practice fornication as a believer?
Were they a believer in the first place? Were they genuinely saved?
As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 13:5 “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? — unless indeed you are disqualified.”
Here’s how you examine yourselves.
Paul said in Ephesians 4:17-24 “This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.”
If you are walking like the world, your salvation is suspect. If you are giving yourselves over to lewdness, your salvation is suspect.
If you are coming to church looking to “score,” your salvation is suspect.
Level one sexual addiction is porn, masturbation, adultery, fornication, prostitution.
It takes obedience, faith to implement or apply the Word of God, and courage to abstain from sexual immorality.
Sack time with Sister Suzy-Q is the staircase to hell. Sack time with a preacher is not worth going to hell over.
That’s what people do not think would happen. That when a person commits sexual sins, they are still going to heaven.
Read carefully 1 John 2:15-17. And read Ephesians 5:3-7.
Matthew 7:21-23, Revelation 21:8, and Hebrews 13:4, while you are at it.
Hell is full of people that never repented of sexual immorality. They never judged themselves.
If you are a pulpit whoremonger or a parishioner whore, the Lord offers forgiveness when you repent.
There is no need to turn the house of prayer into a gentlemen’s club.
A Scripture comes to mind about the time we have on earth.
James 4 :14 says “…whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”
While this blog has been about sexual immorality, I just want to take the time to talk about a connected issue which I will include.
William Barry Dye III, the oldest son of William Dye, Jr. and Lessie. B. Dye, passed away on Sunday, December 23, 2012.
Just one day before my late mother in law’s birthday on Christmas Eve. She went home to be with the Lord on Sunday, October 10, 2011.
For years, Barry, my brother in law, would live life his way. It’s quite common in families that serve the Lord that children live rebellious lives.
For years this would be the case. However, it pays to pray. Parents that pray for their children know the power of God. Mom Dye did this every day. She prayed every day for her children. One of the things that I love about the Lord is that He has inside information.
No prayer that man prays goes unanswered. Many of us do pray prayers in accordance with His will but the answer never materializes, but just because what we’ve prayed for didn’t manifest, it doesn’t mean that the Lord didn’t answer it. There are many variables that take place. We must also remember that man sometimes do not cooperate with God but when man cooperates with God, the answers were always what the Lord had in mind.
When the Father knows all things and the “cloud of many witnesses” are given inside information, the praise in heaven is deafening.
Mom Dye, while she was here, had many prayer partners. One person of note is Mrs. Thomas. A very close friend and prayer partner in the Saratoga projects in Brooklyn, NY. There is no question that they prayed in agreement and in earnest for Barry.
As another side note these ladies of Zion Baptist Church in Brooklyn, NY, had prayer partners all over Brooklyn. My first landlord, Mrs. Marion Batson, a long time member of Zion Baptist Church, would have prayer with other prayer partners in her house almost every day during the late morning hours, or at noon.
I’m here to tell you that somewhere in the United States, in a community near you, there may be prayer partners praying and you will not know who or where they are but when you see the results that turn positive, just know that the God of prayer answer the saints of prayer.
While circumstances happen and while the devil will use every thing in his playbook to get a soul into hell, Barry was no exception. Every time he would attempt to join certain organizations, he would get kicked out. Martial Arts. Masonic Lodge. You name it. He didn’t last long. Certain churches. It didn’t matter. Barry wouldn’t last.
There is no question that prayer to prevent entrance into places where he wasn’t supposed to go, had something to do with why he wouldn’t be accepted into these organizations.
When it comes to prayer, God works in a spectrum of time but He is not governed by time. God governs time from eternity. Just because “there is a time and a season” for every purpose, God doesn’t look at a clock. The will of God was completed before time began. However, man is governed by time on earth. So when the Lord begins to pull man, there are times when they will know it and there will be times when they will not.
Nonetheless, Barry was running out of time but God is God.
It’s amazing to watch God unfold His plan without man’s permission, with the exception of the human will. God will not make you come into His kingdom. You have to desire Him and His Word. Barry knew where truth would be but when you are still led by the flesh and the mind, sometimes you really don’t care about time or eternity.
Just as we were driving away from the Crematorium to have his remains cremated, we were talking about getting into the apartment he was living in. In NYC housing, it’s called “succession.” After Mom Dye passed away, Barry had succession rights to the apartment. Barry had a roommate. This roommate had a porn problem. There would be porn pictures all over the roommate’s wall. So, my daughter found out about these pictures through a friend of my other brother in law, Vernon. To protect me from being exposed to these pictures, because I wanted to help out getting the apartment squared away after Barry’s passing, the Lord used my daughter to warn me not to go.
Without hesitation, I immediately complied, and I will not go.
LESSON. No matter how much distance you put, the affects of porn are still strong. Paul says we are to “Avoid the appearance of evil.” Strength is in avoiding, not in exposure. Name me one person that stuck his head up with a sniper taking shots at you and he survived. Not one. Each one got a hole in the head as proof that the devil is not out to wound you but to kill you.
But after Barry received Jesus, one Sunday, when Barry came to our church, the Lord dropped in my spirit that someone was watching pornography.
Right before my sermon, I said, “The Lord told me that someone was watching porn.”
You see, when you’ve been cleansed from the devastating affects of porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation, you begin to pick up things along these lines. It doesn’t happen often but the Lord will tell you something.
I looked at all the brothers and the sound of silence was deafening in the house of the Lord. Yes, even the ladies were shocked but not that shocked because I’ve made an effort to inform the wives to check up on their husbands before this incident took place. I believe that wives need to know what is going on in the life of a man and if they are to save their marriage, if you haven’t confronted your husband about porn, your marriage may not last long.
Anyway, I looked at Barry and you could see that God was speaking through me about that situation. It is not certain that the Lord told me specifically that it was Barry that was watching porn, but I’ve seen my brother in law in action when women would walk near him. Like most men, there is a lust of the flesh and lust of the eyes problem. His eyes would travel and he would lay his best rap on these women.
One day, we were driving my mother in law home and in the back seat of my car, I had a copy of my book, Secret Sexual Sins. He looked and saw these three words and there was no question that his interest perked.
Why am I sharing all of this?
You and I do not know the degree of God’s grace. No one knows the limit of His measureless, abundant grace.
All those prayers and all of these incidences. God doesn’t care where you’ve come from or what you’ve done, so long as you finally make a decision to quit sin and come to Him. To cut right to the chase, shortly after my mother in law’s death, Barry came to church and received the Lord as His personal Lord and Savior. Mom’s prayers were answered by the Lord.
We all know that a sinner’s prayer anyone could pray, but it is what a person practices that determines if the salvation sticks. Now, mind you that Jesus mentioned that we must be born again. We know that Jesus said that “the wind blows where it wants and you hear the sound, but you cannot tell when it comes and where it is going. So is everyone that is born of the Spirit.”
In other words, you cannot see the work of the Holy Spirit according to Titus 3:5, but you can see that a person begins to change. They begin to say and do things that shows signs of a person that is genuinely born again. The organizations that Barry would be thrown out was because Barry would say things and make statements that would drive you nuts.
When Barry received Jesus, he didn’t have carfare to get to Prevailing Word and his sister, (my wife) told him just to go somewhere and get the Word. After mom’s passing, Barry’s closest voice to remind him of mom was his baby sister, but Barry needed a pastor. Bishop-elect Al Jackson, pastor of Highways and Hedges Christian Church, right across the street from the Saratoga projects, was right there. He baptized him on the profession of his faith and Barry participated in the church’s Men Talk men’s meeting.
Even there, Barry brought about controversy but the pastor, and the men at Barry’s new church handled business to “reel him in,” and bring him along in the Lord. You all know how much of a handful some of us were when we got saved, so do not look at yourself in your “perfection.”
Every one of us came with stuff and some of us still have stuff.
Pretty much the story of William Barry Dye III.
Yeah, this was the real Barry before the old Barry died and came alive in Christ.
In the last year, we’ve seen signs of a child of God emerge while he was making his way through so much struggling. Over 20 years before he gave his life to Jesus, from losing his job, losing his marriage. Angry and bitter at the world, and just causing controversy and mayhem with everything and everybody, God still had His hand on him.
Over this short period of time, one year’s worth, we’ve seen the Lord save him and delivered him. However, as with all persons, relapse does happen, as it did with Barry, but you learn to pick yourself up and keep it moving. Sometimes, even a relapse is costly. It turned out to be the tipping of the scales against him.
Drugs, alcohol, and a rebellious life. Pretty much a story of many people searching for answers to life that could only be found in Jesus. Or, perhaps, looking to mend wounds of the past by drowning oneself in the world’s pleasure drugs.
However, God’s love is greater. The Lord never overlooks sin, but He uses people to point the way to His grace. Even if circumstance of life happen, through it all, God is still a marvel.
In the remaining months of Barry’s life, congestive heart failure (CHF) took away from him a life that would have been wonderful to watch fully bloom in the Lord. Barry had a habit of “crying wolf” and we really didn’t put stock in what he was telling us. That he had what Mom Dye had, CHF, but Barry knew something. That he didn’t have much time left on earth.
We thought that Barry was joking but he was dead serious. We didn’t know how serious it was until after he departed this life. We’ve should have known when he gave his life to Jesus that something was up.
With reconciling and getting closer to his own three sons, and grandchildren, and reconciling with his younger siblings, somewhat accomplished, the grains in the hour glass of life were quickly assuming its place on top of the other grains of sand of his past. The last grain of sand fell when his heart stopped for the final time.
As we stood around to view his remains, at Matthew Barrett Funeral Home for the family viewing, at his Homegoing, and again, on Saturday, January 5, 2013 before we escorted his remains for the last time to the Crematorium, we couldn’t help but remember and laugh at the many antics of Barry. He left us with a treasure of memories that is characteristics of a life filled with, not just controversy, but a desire to see people laugh.
Even in pain, laughter is a medicine.
I recently hung my wedding pictures in our house. I look at how young we were, Valeria and I, but even though you may not see Barry, you see his handiwork. It’s just as good as a picture of him. For those pictures he took now serve as my own personal memorial of him on our living room wall.
What an amazing gift from you that you gave us Barry.
But what was the Lord doing?
He was showing us that life happens but eternal life happens too.
We also looked at the standpoint that sometimes when a person that has been through so much, that to avoid other incidences that have the potential to pull him away from the Lord, we can only say that in heaven, there is no better safe haven. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
You’ve often wondered if certain loved ones made it into His kingdom. We will soon find out, but when you have that assurance in your heart as the Holy Spirit witnesses to you, you get that sense of knowing that at least, he professed Jesus as Lord. The rest is up to us to be even more diligent to make OUR calling and election sure.
Again, it is good to have inside information that Barry would finally make it in his Lord’s kingdom. No preacher can preach a man or woman into the kingdom of heaven. Even when we have a sense in knowing that he made it, we are only assured of our own individual salvation.
Nonetheless, we all want a story to end nice and neat. However, one thing is certain, you can always tell when a person crosses over from death to eternal life. It’s all about practicing righteousness, but when you are a babe in Christ, while there is no exception, we must remember that even babies are vulnerable, but babes are still in the family.
While there was a number of factors that help a person come to the Lord, sometimes the small things are enough to place a marker in a person’s mind that perhaps someone is in your corner. That’s all Barry wanted. No quicker that God uses small things to attract them, they come to your church and get saved. We did that for Barry. Paid some of his bills. Helped him stay in the apartment. Put money in his hands. The little things pay big dividends. In some cases, eternal ones.
Barry, we miss you but we will meet again in Jesus. For now, we will chase after the Savior you now behold. And we will do our best to command those in our family to repent and receive the gospel of Jesus Christ, just as you did if they are to have any chance of seeing the Lord and you, in that great getting up morning.
The plan of the devil to get him into hell was foiled, and the prayers of the saint once again prevailed.
Barry, with all that happened in your life, you knew that you didn’t have much time left, but you made the right choice in the end.
God saved your spirit man, just in a nick of time.