When You And Your Sins Are Called Out

It’s the worst feeling in the world to think that you can get away with Secret Sexual Sins. 

It’s sad to think that we take His love, grace, and mercy for granted.

As I was reading the story of David’s sins, I can feel what he went through. Crossing the line. Thinking that there is no way possible that his sins would get called out or that he would get caught. When it comes to planning out sin, the one thing that we ignore is the fact that the God of heaven sees it all.

Psalm 139:7-12, A Psalm of David, says

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

Go figure.


The same ruddy little shepherd boy that killed a bear and a lion to save the sheep.


The same snot nosed kid that went over by the brook to get five smooth stones to kill Goliath.


The same bold man of God that took Goliath’s sword and cut the head of Goliath clean off.


The same psalmist that wrote “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”

It’s sad that he couldn’t say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want….Bathsheba.”


The biological and generational bridge to bring in the Son of God. As a note, if Ruth, the Moabitess, a descendant of Lot’s oldest daughter by incest, after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, when Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. If Ruth had gone her own way, she would not have met Boaz.

You just cannot make this redemption stuff up.

While the kings went to battle, David stayed behind. When you read the story, if you are reading it from the mind of a woman, (please do not be offended) it is time for you to understand the mind of a man.

According to 2 Samuel 11, David conveniently stayed home because he knew that a peep show was about to happen. With being a “peeping Tom,” it is just another peep/porn show on 42 Street.

What amazes me the most is that David had a bird’s eye view. Furthermore, as you read the various commentaries about this story, women would bathe in the open at three in the afternoon. This was not unusual if you read the various commentaries.

One commentary suggests that these roof top bathing places where everywhere. This means that David had a variety of watching posts. It also leads me to believe that some of the women caught on to what the what men were doing and exercised some discretion. Then again, some women may not have exercised discretion.

David took a nap and woke up just in time to see Bathsheba bathing?

How convenient the timing. In the mind of a man, when a beautiful woman walks this way everyday, you are going to make sure that you are there at precisely the right time to catch the show. If you are aware of the custom, it is not a big deal to walk out at anytime and have your pick at what you want to see. Except for David, he knew this was going to happen.

Sometimes, it’s the other way around. Ladies do not be offended, but when you want the attention of a man, you will wear something to help a man to remember you. This is not true for all women. A vast percentage of holy, sanctified women will not do this.

A very small percentage will.

I’ve seen it in the small local church my wife and I pastor.

They come in with cleavage.

I told my wife about this and said to her, you need to tell her about this because it is a distraction. Without any hesitation on my wife’s part, an end was put to it.

Sadly, immoral women do make it difficult for preachers. At the same time, immoral pastors make it difficult on themselves when they choose not to ignore or keep their mind on God. Women, whether they come with immoral intents or not, they cannot be blamed all the time unless they come dressed that way on purpose.

Some women will take offense when a pastor tells women how to dress. It is a form of bondage. However, my wife has a right to tell any women to adjust the way they dress because she knows that the game is on.

Sadly, the immoral women believe that they are in competition for a married wife’s husband when there is no competition. You can’t compete for something that is already another person’s possession. There is only pain and misery after you “win the competition.”

What makes the immoral women think that he is going to stay? If he cheated on his wife, what makes you think that he won’t cheat on you?

For Jezebels, after the promise of power comes, and the people walk out on the cheating pastor, the conquest for power dissipates because there is no one in their right mind that would want to stay to be controlled under Jezebel’s controlling, manipulative ways.

Or, the Lord brings judgment on Jezebel and or the man of Gawd that she stole and all the plans of “ministerial conquest” is thrown into the wind.

When my brother’s and I were laying our father to rest, I was invited to a Sunday church service by a married elder. After the service concluded, we walked outside and greeted the people. All of a sudden, a young lady in a low cleavage dark blue flirty dress in white high heels came across the street.

Out of the corner of my eye, I knew the intent and I turned away so as not to make eye contact.

Sometimes, you have to know when trouble is coming. Not that she was trouble, but with my eyes and my mind, I cannot afford trouble. A man could burn that image forever for later. If you know what I mean. My wife didn’t accompany with me for the trip so the sight discipline had to be maintained.

Any way, she walked up to this married elder that invited me. It wasn’t one of these conversations that seemed “regular.”

There was no question in my mind that he knew her very well, if you know what I mean.

Not that they had “connections” but you never know. In observation with the interaction with his wife (she wasn’t at church), it wasn’t warm, if you know what I mean. But as with all personal observations, I could be wrong. Unlike most pastors, I want to be wrong about this.

Men are to be blamed as well for objectifying women.

Some will say, that I, as a pastor, have no business even mentioning it.

On the contrary, if I do not believe it is a problem, immoral women will believe that it’s not a problem. Even when my wife is with me, you’d be surprised at what single and married women are willing to do.

As I was recovering from the affects of porn, I read material about how men are not paying attention to overt and covert actions of women.

Male pastors do not see it coming.

And it is true.

This is the reason why a male pastor must understand that the enemy is always looking for an opportunity. No matter how innocent the handshake, hug, friendly greeting kiss, or small talk may appear, both women and men will entertain warped perceptions that lead to dangerous moments.


That’s what this is all about.

Women look for connections that make them feel affirmed as women. But not just any ol’ connection.

As one person said, “The anointing could make a bum look good.” 

Men just look for sex for connection and move on. That’s why the character and nature of Christ in all of us is paramount. More importantly, our relationship with the Lord is crucial because the Lord created us for His pleasure, not our own. To sin against God only reveals that we have cheapened our relationship with the Lord.

Unsuspecting to male pastors, after preaching, they are vulnerable. When you are in the strength of the anointing and grace of God, you are covered in His power. However, when you expend a lot of physical and mental energy in delivering the Word of God, after you are done, you are wide open for attacks.

This is the enemy’s chance to plant things in your mind because you are not expecting it, for one, and two, the enemy knows that if he could get you, this is the moment.

This is traced back to the time when Jesus was driven into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tempted by the devil (see Luke 4:1-2). At the end of the forty days, the devil waited until Jesus was at His weakest to get Jesus with the best temptations possible.

The ploy is the same everywhere for every preacher.

When you are at your most weakest state, the temptation will be satan’s best.

I was reading Dr. Betty Price’s book on “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives and Their Mistresses.”

Women would come to church and wear the most provocative things. They are bold and they will sit on the front row or close just to get noticed. I believe that some of these women stopped believing God for their own man to marry and go after accomplished married pastors.

In any era, it’s obvious. More than ever, we are seeing many pastor fall. We are also seeing many of these immoral women admit, after the fact, that they’ve made a mistake. It’s one mistake too late.

David took advantage of a custom. There is no question about the intent on David’s part. He knew that he would get to see what he wanted to see. His lack of discipline put him in the position to sin. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be. As with many men, they are out of position with their heart and spirit in their personal walk with the Lord.

Before any sins are committed a person must commit to sever their personal relationship with the Lord in order to commit sin. Because if you are connected to the light, in order to see, you must commit to keep the light on. The moment that you decide that you want to sin, you must disconnect from the Power.

David disconnected himself from the Lord.

When you are reading 2 Samuel 11, we must remember that this is not a real time event. This was brewing for months. There is no question in my mind that David saw Bathsheba before both in and out of clothing.

The Secret Sexual Sins in David’s heart was brewing.

It’s the same with all men. When you have someone in your mind that you want to have in bed, when you are enraged with their beauty, you will not quit until you have her. With self sex, it is not enough. You will take it to the next level.

When you read 2 Samuel 13 about Amnon being sick with lust for his sister, Tamar, now you can understand to what depths a man is willing to risk to have a woman. Amnon was willing to cross all the lines to commit Secret Sexual Sins with his own sister.

Perversion will take you into places where you thought you wouldn’t go. Or, perversion will take you into places where you planned all along to go.

Finally, after David had Bathsheba, she conceived. It probably took a missed cycle or two to figure out that she was pregnant. David had to cover his sin.

David thought that if he could get Uriah, his loyal subordinate commander, to have sex with his wife, the birth would somehow be covered. But Uriah’s loyalty kept him from his wife. Even after David got him drunk the second night, he thought that Uriah would finally see his wife. When that failed, David said in his mind and heart, “He must die.”

Uriah was killed, Bathsheba mourned for her husband, and David took her into his house.

It was then that the Lord was displeased.

Well, the Lord recorded this way because the Lord wants us to understand that sin is sin and during those months that David carefully planned this, at anytime, David could have said, “Wait! How could I do this?” 

The power and strength of lust will cause anyone to suppress righteousness, justice, holiness, and disrespect God. The power and strength of lust, when yielded to, will drive a man from His relationship with the Lord, his wife, and throw away everything the Lord ever gave them.

Lust in the heart will destroy a man, his marriage, and his family.

In the days ahead, when we are quick to walk away from the fear of God, it will not bode well for lust driven pastors and believers on judgment day. The many lives that are destroyed because of lust in the heart is not the thing that we want to bring before the Lord when we stand before Him.

I cannot say that stuff is going to be exposed like David. Exposure has happened in many places, but today, there is no fear of God before their eyes. Pastors and believers are no longer afraid that they will be exposed. Like Cozbi and Zimri, Hophni and Phinehas, the fear of the Lord is nothing to many pastors and believers.

Years ago, the late Benson Idahosa, a bishop and an apostle in Nigeria was retiring to his hotel room. He and his entourage opened the door and smelled smoke. A known prostitute was hiding in the closet of the hotel room as a plant to entrap the Bishop in a sex scandal.

She cried out that she was burning and was burned with the fire of the Lord.

This is a powerful example of why it is important to keep yourself pure because God will protect a holy man of God with the holy fire of God for the times we are living in.

Secret Sexual Sins is open field running. It’s like the people in the Body of Christ are “streaking” before the throne of God. If you do not know what streaking is, it is running the streets in the buff.

When your sins are called out like David’s was, it’s because the Lord had no choice but to expose and uncover the cover up.

May we cry out for mercy because more pastors are going to come out of the closet. More pastors will yield to Secret Sexual Sins. More female pastors will disclose their “sexual preference and orientations.” High profile pastors that we see on TV will reveal who they really are. And because we are accustomed to the perverseness of the day, it will mean nothing to us.

Just remember, the remnant that hasn’t bowed their knee to Baal is out there, but thank God that someone is interceding and praying on earth to the Father in the name of Jesus.

Let’s cry out to the Lord, for the hour that is dark upon us. These are dark days, but the church will rise and be seen as the true church. The believers will rise and pray, and declare the Lordship of Jesus.

Not in word but in spirit and truth.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

I Want To Sleep With My Pastor

All across America, there are many women, (Moabite or Jezebel) that seek to sleep with their pastors. We have covered, extensively, the male pastors that “fall from grace” into Secret Sexual Sins in the bedroom without really tapping into the world of sexual immorality on the women’s side.

The issues that face the church today are serious. We do not think that sexual immorality is that big a deal.

If this is what you are thinking, listen to these statistics.

50% of pastors struggle with porn. 49% of evangelical Christians struggle with porn.

Yes, these statistics is directly connected to this subject because if pastors are having a problem with Internet porn (by the way 89% of Internet porn comes from the United States- over 244 million sites with 300 sites added each day). You know pastors and Christians are struggling with self sex, commonly called masturbation. And if the pastors are married, and their marriages isn’t rock solid, a scandal is only a matter of time.

It is important to point out that the situation with the late Dr. Zachary Tims, his sex scandal was a clear violation of the Word of God. There is no question in my mind that when you are having an affair with a stripper, that the idea (based on preponderance) came from the Internet.

For extra measure, this stripper was in Spain. So for a year or more, he would fly to Spain. Perfect cover almost. Eventually, it was exposed and another marriage was destroyed by lust in the heart of a pastor at the hands of a seducing spirit operating in a stripper.

Some of you are already saying “Why are you bringing this up again?”

Because there is no question in my mind that another scandal is about to be brought to light. You do not have to be a prophet to figure it out. The percentages never disappoint. Perhaps you are in a local church and you are watching your pastor being seduced or is seduced already.

This example of a scandal, to date, is what takes place in many of our churches because we are too afraid to deal with exposing and uncovering Secret Sexual Sins. Especially when people and pastors are supposed to be upholding the standard of God’s Word. Not just in the preaching department, but in the “working out your soul salvation with fear and trembling.”

According to Shelley Lubben of The Pink Cross Foundation, “porn stars are prostitutes.”

In fact, according to Shelley Lubben, a former porn star that testified before a Senate Sub-Committee on Pornography, unless you are on the “A” list of porn stars, prostitutes get paid more than low end porn performers because for 16 hours of work, depending upon the kind of production they are doing, the porn stars get paid according to what they are told to do. If they do not do what the producers want them to do, the porn stars do not get paid.

And porn stars are forced to go into prostitution to make more money. It is known that they make much more money for less time “working.”

For 16 hours of work on a porn set, they may walk away with between $350.00 to $500.00, whereas a prostitute may walk away with $1,600.00 or more for only 2 hours of work.

The trade off is disgusting because of STDs, sexual assault or rape, pregnancies, if they occur, usually end in abortion, (allegedly a prostitute aborted Tiger Woods’ baby) and possibly being murdered, let alone get arrested for prostitution.

According to one article called “The Seamless Fabric,” between porn stars, prostitutes, and strippers, and women and teen girls that are human trafficked, predominantly for the sex trade, it is a “seamless fabric.”

In other words, there is no separation or distinction.

This is what I first thought after 10 years of bondage to porn. In ignorance, I thought that these “issues” were separate and that porn was a completely isolated thing.


It lessened the guilt and shame factor.

Quite the contrary.

For any sexually addicted pastor, the transition from fantasy to reality is just one decision and one female body away.

Women are attracted to powerful men in the pulpit. There is no question about it. However, there must be a call to holiness, discipline, and sanctification from both the women that come to church and the pastors. At the very least, the male pastor must be on guard.

However, this is somewhat discouraging because the male pastor will not see seduction coming. It takes the wife of a male pastor to see the seduction.

When a male pastor is conversing with a female, it may look innocent, and sometimes, it’s about nothing. However, when you see something that is more to it than meets the eye, it is better to play it safe, and talk to your husband about it. If he brushes you and your admonition off, then he is not paying attention. In the back of his mind, he is already looking forward to the next time he will have a conversation with that hot looking parishioner.

Sometimes, the mistress is not that hot looking. Sometimes, it’s the kind of sex they give that hooks a male pastor.

These issues must be addressed because we are seeing pastors fall into sexual sins more rapidly than before. Because of the Internet and because male pastors and women are loose in their living, it is very easy to fall prey to the slick preachers that promise them the world.

There are predators and wanderers in the pulpit but there are, what I call, “passive predators.”

They are called Moabite women or Jezebels, depending upon their objective. Their beauty is their weapon of choice. If you are married to a pastor, wife, you must be on the lookout for these women that desire your husband.

In the world, there’s the Beyonce’s, the Angelina’s, and the Rihanna’s.

They all have one thing in common.

Intentional Sexual Seduction.

Seductive women of the world are influencing the women in the church that play both sides of the fence. Carnal women always fight righteousness to fulfill “connection” needs.

How are these “professional” seductresses influencing carnal Christian women?

Television shows, movies, listening to and watching worldly music and music videos, and the company seductive women in the church keep Monday through Saturday.

What is it that they are learning?

How to tug on a man’s heart to get them to do almost anything when you give them your body.

Sadly, there are many women that knowingly scheme to “trap” men because of a male’s one track mind; thinking with what is below their belt line.

There’s a constant struggle in the church for the minds of God’s people. When people get saved, the Lord gave Paul the answer to why people struggle and can’t get to the next level.

The failure to renew their minds with the Word of God.

When a woman wants to sleep with their pastor, it is a revelation of the fact that they are searching for “connection” by intimacy with “power.” According to the book of Genesis, we see that women are influenced by words. However, it’s not just the words but the way that words are used.

The devil used the serpent for cover and the devil had a way with words to depict God as Someone that was withholding something. Made God out to be the bad Guy. You can’t be against somebody for nothing. The devil gave Eve a reason to be against God. Words and the way the devil used those words gave Eve enough reason to defect.

Now mind you that seduction happens on both sides of the fence. It’s not all women and it is not all men. It is a combination of the two meeting at precisely the right or wrong moment.

An unguarded pastor will drop his guard when beauty approaches him.

The most vulnerable moment of a pastor is after he preaches. It is there that he needs to be guarded by his wife. He is weak physically and emotionally. If the marriage isn’t rock solid, this is the place where the devil will attack.

More later, in part two.

Church Sex Scandals: The Measurable Restorative Process


There is two ways that scandals could be prevented. Willful disclosure of hidden sexually immoral behavior according to Ephesians 5:8-14 or prophetic exposure according to Luke 12:2.

In both cases, God is looking to help man out of sin by any means necessary.

It is difficult to stop men of God that are bent on circumventing any principles of morals to fulfill the lusts of their flesh but God will do everything in His power to get your attention.

Sadly, every scandal from here on is only another indication that we are deep in the age of apostasy. The sins of preachers is only getting worse and it will lead many to hell on earth and a much more terrible hell under the earth.

Sadly, the people in the church will sit there and drink with these preachers. Becoming co-conspirators and cheerleading followers of their vile affections (see Romans chapter 1).

They will drink deeply of the sinful waters of sexual perversion.

Any sins committed by pastors and church folk will make the world blush in pride.

There is a problem with pastors living up to the standards of the Word of God.

Pastors that work independently and pastors that work under a ecclesiastical jurisdiction set up rarely have a place to go to to air out what is harboring in their hearts. Many pastors frown upon “inquisitions,” “personal accountability inquiries,” or other forms of measurable accountability because of what it can turn into.

When you are in sin or you have a problem with sexual addiction, you will not be quick to run to sit with somebody to ask you questions about your personal life. It is a very fearful thing to put your life out before people because your image is at stake. What people think of you determines your total outlook on yourself and ministry.

To put out your life before an accountability group requires that you be comfortable and safe. Otherwise, nothing deeply embedded in the soul will be shared. The fallen pastor must have people that either maintained the standard of holiness in the fear of the Lord or was once in the life of sin but gained victory.

Many will say that a couple of years out of sin is pretty much the standard. The more years the better because then the fallen pastor will be exposed to hear about certain tendencies and what to look out for.

At this point, never mind the self image you may have had or lost. What’s more important is what the Lord thinks about you. Can He use you or not is dependent upon how clean you become.

Coming clean about your sex life is the only way that you can be mightily used by God in the future, should you choose to accept long term measurable accountability that works.

Secret Sexual Sins is about how much sin you can commit while keeping it a secret.

If nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.

But God knows and He is already hurt if you continue to keep it a secret.

It is very easy for a pastor to hide and not be found. When it comes to men, apart from ministry, men believe that they can fix things by themselves.

In other words, male pastors go it alone.

This always leave the potential to sin and try to fix the sin by personal repentance alone. Personal repentance is fine if you are sincere about leaving sin alone, once and for all, but it is not true repentance if you return to commit the same sin over again. That’s why it is important for you to have someone to talk to or someone that can call you and see where you are.

If you go it alone, you are only opening the door for dealing with Secret Sexual Sins through remorse, not repentance. Remorse is about feeling sorry for yourself that you were caught in sin. It’s also called revolving door repentance.

To stop revolving door repentance is the ability to stop treating sin like a kid’s game.


Let’s talk about..

Preventative And Measurable Accountability

It starts with an Accountability Group.

Someone that you willing submit to that will lovingly and uncompromisingly hold you accountable for your sexual integrity. Someone that can vouch for your life. Someone that can speak truth into your life whether you like it or not. Someone that can help you along the way, see ahead of you, and warn you of the dangers ahead.

Not many pastors are interested because of the price of transparency. However, if we are going to defeat sexual immorality and preserve our marriages, family, and ministries, we must leave no stone unturned.

Prevention is not a great subject these days. Too often nothing is done to prevent an accident but when an accident occurs, heaven and earth is moved to prevent another one.

Silly, isn’t it.

Sex scandals have continuously rocked the church for centuries. Yet, there has been no insistence of “measurable accountability.”

Partly for two reasons.

1. There is no contingency or template in place (bylaws-elder boards) when a scandal takes place.

2. Pastors refuse measurable preventative accountability and they refuse or circumvent remedial help or counseling after the scandal.

Sometimes, these fallen pastors impose upon themselves their own “accountability” rules.

They impose upon themselves that the ministry cannot continue without them and return too fast to the pulpit. If a child is born out of the adulterous relationship, and they do not have a job outside of pastoral duties, they will fight to stay on salary so they can be prepared to pay child support.

This is in addition to any divorce proceedings, if it goes in that direction.

They fail to spend time getting before the presence of the Lord and allow seasoned men of God to take them through the process of healing.

They fail to take the time to see to his wife’s healing, leaving her in a daze of confusion, betrayal, and embarrassment. They fail to help or get help for their suffering children and families. The church enters into an array of emotions but they hang between opinions governed by their denial and what is factual.

There is usually one reason why pastors return too soon to the pulpit.

They have their eyes on themselves and they want to save their “empire.”

The pastor takes the church and turns it into his own personal empire.

Two concepts of restoration comes to mind.

Not many fallen pastors will do what it takes to restore personal integrity. However, if you are going to come back to the pulpit, you must be willing to do the following.


Too many pastors do not return to the Lord. They return to their ministries first, and second, they walk away from God and their wives. The first level of restoration begins with getting back in the face of God to seek His love, compassion, and grace. Too often, we run pass the Lord, and look to get back to doing what we do best.

Preaching and ministering to people.

This should be the furthest thing from your mind. God loves you. Not what you do (as far as preaching is concerned).

Yes, He called you to preach, but He called you to relate with Him.

When was the last time you were touched by God? The Lord said this to me during my season of Secret Sexual Sins. “Never forget how to be touched by God.” This didn’t ring true until there were times that the Holy Spirit brought me through seasons of repentance. The godly sorrow for sin finally hit me because I hurt God bad.

He was grieved.

False intimacy is devotion to devils at the altar of sexual immorality. There must be a serious reconnection to the Lord. A fallen pastor falls out of love with the Lord and must reconnect to the Lover of his soul. Yes, it is time to fall in love with the Lord all over again.

Otherwise, restoration in the other two areas will never happen.


After restoring your relationship with the Lord, your family is the next important priority, not your ministry.

You must do everything in your power to do what is right for your wife and kids. The church will go on without you, one way or another. You must get help for you and your wife, otherwise, no restorative process is worth the trouble. You are just wasting time, energy, and people’s lives.

This is a lengthy, time consuming process and it should never be rushed.

After this process of family restoration, your restorative group will recommend the next step.


1. Submit yourself to some form of restoration process that takes control away from you of your ministry.

You cannot survive without God. Your ministry can survive without you.

2. Submit to some form of counseling. Be it anger management, sexual addiction (or any other addiction in connection), and family counseling.

3. Be prepared to share as much about your past as bearably possible. The links to your past is a track record that may reveal why you did what you did.

4. Submit to ongoing random spot checks by men of integrity. These are men that you trust your life with. Men that you confide with. Men that will hold your feet to the fire. It is painful but if you are serious about returning to the pulpit, your life needs to have measurable transparency.


These men will endorse or denounce your ministry effectiveness.


Only the men that you are accountable to may recommend a return to the pulpit. Otherwise, it’s a farce.

It is very easy for a fallen pastor, after a brief absence from the pulpit, to resume ministry. He really feels he could continue to minister to others. It is a pompous display of pride and arrogance that got him into trouble in the first place.

It’s like driving a car full of explosives. It’s just a matter of time before they will blow themselves up. And inevitably, he will.


While there is no template or something etched in stone when it is feasible for a fallen pastor to return to any pulpit, there should be a reasonable time established. However, to start another church or to consider moving to another town to assume the pastorate elsewhere is not a good idea within the early stages of the restoration process.

Such a return timetable must be approved by those who hold him accountable. They must ensure that he and his family are well on their way to recovery. They must ascertain that the will of God require his restoration.

How is this done?

Gauging the health of their relationship with the Lord and his family.

Signs to look for.

1. Broken and contrite heart.

2. Teachableness.

3. Willing to put off a return to any form of ministry until those involved in the redemptive restorative process see a clear display of humility or humbleness of mind.

4. Whole hearted agreement from the wife that he is ready to resume the minstry. If you do not have your wife’s unconditional support, it’s not worth the risk. That’s why family restoration will take longer than the other two areas of restoration because a breach of vows, confidence, and fidelity is not that easy to get by.

If there is anyone that should be able to vouch or question your return to the pulpit, it’s going to be your wife. She has to have confidence that you are not going to go down the path again. You owe her that much to see through the process of family restoration for as long as it takes.

God resists the proud but He also gives grace to the humble.

It is very easy to fool some of the people some of the time but God is never fooled, and God will bring certain people in your life to let you know that you can’t fool them either.

When a fallen pastor continues to speak his spiritual cliche or “anointing,” it’s a clear signal that they are not healed. When a fallen pastor speak “Biblelise” and refuse to entertain though provoking questions designed to determine where you are in the Lord, it is very plain that they are avoiding the issue.

In order to deceive, one must be deceived themselves.

Ministry is all that some pastors know. But they need to be certain that they are ready to properly balance family and ministry. Otherwise, another scandal is in the making. Most fallen pastors insist that they are ready. It never should be up to the fallen pastor to say that they are ready. It must be up to those who hold him accountable and his wife.

Anything less is failure on everyone’s part.

It is very easy to preach but it is difficult to be a child of God. Like me and every other preacher, we can preach at the drop of a hat. But can we live clean and holy before God and His people after the preaching is done?

When a fallen pastor says that they are ready, they are not.

How do I know?

If you are honest about your self assessment, you will never self rubber stamp your redemption. It is better to have others give you a truthful assessment. Self certification is a clear dis-qualifier.

Lasting redemption and restoration is an ongoing work that must have tough safeguards in place to prevent relapse. Sexual relapse is serious as a cancerous relapse.

Relapse happens in the smallest ways. During the restoration process, everyone must be on guard to address these mental and spiritual relapses. All it takes is one thought. One self sexual act to get the ball rolling. What Jesus did on a regular basis is “watch and pray.”

However, you need to have people watch and pray with you.

Everyone remembers the story of Cain and Abel. When Abel brought the sacrifice that God required, Cain brought fruit. Cain was upset that God, not Abel, rejected his offering.

God asked Cain a serious question.

“Where is your brother?”

Can answered, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Cain threw the question right back at God.

The answer to accountability is Cain’s question.

We are our brother’s keeper or guard.

We are expected to help one another steer clear of sexual immorality by employing tough, measurable accountability.

Sadly, many pastors will live in the arena of regret.

Especially during the judgment.

But we all have a chance to deal with this issue through meaningful, loving, non condemning accountability.




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