The Dangers Of Sex With A Pastor

For the last few months, I’ve noticed some titles. I take note of these things because there is no question that when this topic is out there with increased frequency, it is possible that a woman or some women are about to engage in sex with a male pastor.

There is no question about the fact that there are more married pastors than there’s single pastors, but I find that just because the pastor is married, to a single or married wrong minded woman, to them, it doesn’t mean that he is “off limits.” The wrong woman mistakenly assumes that he is fair game.

Dissatisfaction within the marriage happens for a number of reasons, and it happens in every marriage. However, it is not a good reason to look over the other side of the pulpit or pew to engage in sexual immorality.

Another woman, whether a prostitute or a vulnerable church woman is not the solution to solve dissatisfaction in the marriage. To have the wrong pastor is not the answer.

All it takes is the right set of circumstances to set up sexual immorality, and the game is on.

Woman that attempt to engage in sex with a pastor may be filled with romance fantasies that lead to sin. Just as men engage in sexual fantasies, women engage in romance fantasies. 

Pastors are vulnerable due to being emotionally and physically drained after preaching. That’s why it’s always best for a pastor to retire to his study to escape these vulnerabilities. 

But he must escape other temptations on Sunday afternoon. Watching sports with cheerleaders. Watching movies with sex in it. Watching news with club dressy women. Watching shows with sex laced trailers and commercials. 
Checking the Internet and getting bombarded with provocative women and chatting with women in the chat rooms. 

When pastors go to the store or supermarket, the checkout counter is filled with salacious titles and sex pictures. 

More pastors open themselves to being exposed to material inadvertently and then they deliberately go after flesh. 

After the preaching of the Word of God, the anointing to preach lifts off of the man of God. The trek down the mountain top is full of booby traps, trip wires, ambushes, and IED’s (improvised explosive devices). I’ll get to IED’s for pastors in this blog.

Dr. Archibald D. Hart once said that sex is a great “pick me up.” In either case, whether the man of God feels like he’s conquered the world in his preaching, he wants a “reward.” When he feels that he didn’t nail his sermon, or he feels emotionally down, he wants a “pick me up.”

Women instinctively this pick up in understanding the emotional vulnerability of a man.

For instance in 1 Kings 21:1, Ahab wanted Naboth’s vineyard. Naboth told Ahab that it belonged to him, given to Naboth as an inheritance from his fathers.

Covetousness driven him to have Naboth’s vineyard and when Naboth said “no,” Ahab’s countenance changed. Ahab returned to his residence and Jezebel observed his countenance.

1 Kings 21:4-5 says, “So Ahab went into his house sullen and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” And he lay down on his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no food. But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said to him, “Why is your spirit so sullen that you eat no food?”

Jezebel, as with women in general, will pick up the mood of a man just by reading his body language and countenance.

When they ask “What’s wrong,” the wrong woman will steer a man.

The rest of the story ended in Naboth’s death.

The wrong woman is able to pick up dissatisfaction in a pastor’s marriage and will attempt to be a voice as well as become sexually available to connect with him.

Now ladies, it’s important for you to understand that you are not married to him and you have no business becoming an intermediary. What I have also come to realize is that there are many women that will not accept responsibility for their actions and place the blame on the pastor.

Both must be blamed.

The wrong pastor and the wrong women.

The pastor didn’t maintain his sexual integrity with his wife. Allowed personal issues to become blockades to reconciliation, and never sought help from other pastors to deal with his personal issues. There is also his personal life that must be dealt with.

Is he watching porn and masturbating?

Whether he is having marital issues or not, porn and masturbation is a clear sign of disconnection that the wife cannot ignore. Extracurricular sexual activity, without committing adultery with another body is always at the root of many issues in a marriage relationship.

The “wrong woman” will pick that disconnection up.

In Genesis chapter 3, the devil entered the serpent to deceive Eve. However, based on preponderance, the devil was watching the interaction between Adam and Eve and concluded that Eve was inquisitive. The disconnection between Adam and Eve was detected and that’s when the enemy made his move.

Because of the disconnection, the enemy was able to make his move and plunged all men into death.

Hence, when the wrong woman detects the disconnection between a pastor and his wife, and she makes her move.

On the other hand, the wrong pastor seek vulnerable, insecure, emotionally unstable women too. It is never one sided. Sometimes, “worlds” collide under the right/wrong set of circumstances. With the wrong pastor, he has now become a predator and seeks to take advantage. He has the ability to see who is wiling to engage in sexual immorality and deceive a woman.

This is where women have to learn to guard their emotions and be on guard. The wrong pastor will turn into a serpent right before your eyes. He will be subtle like the serpent in Genesis 3. At first, it appears innocent, harmless, and safe. Pastors will not make their move until he knows that he’s won your heart. You trust him. You feel safe around him.

You don’t see it coming.

He touches your hand. Strokes your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek. He’s re-assuring you with words that you wanted to hear. Not realizing that the wrong pastor is playing with your affections. This goes on regularly and then he makes his move. He perverts the Word of God as you give token resistance. You believe him and the rest is history.

“…and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death.”

There are other women that know to stay away from them. They recognize the signs when he makes his move and they blow the whistle. They run from them quickly before trouble manifests.

Proverbs 14:15 says “The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.”

Proverbs 22:3 says “A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.”

This is the improvised explosive device.

It happens on both sides.

The wrong women lay the explosives just as good as the wrong pastor.

When it explodes, it leaves body parts all over the place.

AL Sharpton: Overt Sexual Sins. Should We Be Surprised?

I came across an article about Al Sharpton that gave a reason why he cannot speak into the moral issues that plague the African American community. Sexual immorality among preachers. While adultery among preachers is not news, yet, we see that the prevalence of this activity indicates that there is no fear of God before their eyes.

It is apparent that to silence the voices of Civil Rights, as far as morals is concerned, give a man of God a red hot woman or homosexual male, and some money, ruin his marriage, and his silence is sealed on abortion and LGBT issues.

This means that the continued decline of the African American male continues unabated.

To me, this is a no brainer tactic of the devil.

When you have a sinfully depraved woman in your bed, you are not going to think about the righteousness of God. What matters is that you answer the call of lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life that is not of the Father, but is of the world.

The dopamine effect will blind any man from good judgment.

A verse out of the satanic bible is apparent.

“Do as thou wilt.”

Here is the link.

While president Clinton was mending from the Monica Lewinski scandal, Jessie Jackson was counseling the president. Either before or just shortly thereafter, Jessie Jackson had a love child.

Yes, adultery among high level leadership, both spiritual and political is part of the big picture as to why this nation is on a perilous course of the sin of homosexuality.

We must look at history and see a serious pattern of defiance of the living God and His Word. If there is no fear of God before the eyes of these men, certainly, there is no fear of God before the nation as a whole. The fear of God is not just about being afraid of the God of heaven and earth. It is the utter contempt and disrespect that we have for a loving God who hasn’t done anything to harm us.

Yet, we are prepared to walk away from the Lord and think nothing of the millions of people trapped in the sin of sexual immorality.

In a nut shell, we do not give two cents to the Word of God.

Yet, God still loves us.

The prophet Malachi sums up this generation of preachers.

Malachi 2:5-9 says,

“My covenant was with him, one of life and peace,
And I gave them to him that he might fear Me;
So he feared Me
And was reverent before My name.
The law of truth was in his mouth,
And injustice was not found on his lips.
He walked with Me in peace and equity,
And turned many away from iniquity.
“For the lips of a priest should keep knowledge,
And people should seek the law from his mouth;
For he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts.
But you have departed from the way;
You have caused many to stumble at the law.
You have corrupted the covenant of Levi,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore I also have made you contemptible and base
Before all the people,
Because you have not kept My ways
But have shown partiality in the law.”

Peter said something by the Spirit of God that is worthy to note.

2 Peter 3:1-4 says,

“Beloved, I now write to you this second epistle (in both of which I stir up your pure minds by way of reminder), that you may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us, the apostles of the Lord and Savior,

knowing this first: that scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation.”

This attitude is prevalent in half of the assemblies in America. “Where is the promise of His coming?”

Since the Lord isn’t coming, I believe I will live any kind of way. Since we are not going to see His coming in our life time, I might as well live the way I want to live. Such foolish thoughts. Whether you believe he is coming or not, you got one thing to worry about.

Your death!

Actually, two things.

Death and judgment (see Hebrews 9:27).

With this attitude, perverse thoughts are entertained. Preachers that once were holy before the Lord and the people have turned aside to vain things. The light they once walked in is dark. The people are walking with such depravity that the news of preachers living unholy lives is normalized and accepted.

Hence, the acceptance of the sin of homosexuality as a Civil Rights issue.

The further we go from God the closer to hell we get.

There is only one way to deal with this situation. Since they brought this out by sinning on this level, it is to be condemned. Reprehensibly condemned. If we fail to reveal our disgust and anger about preachers living in full plain sight or even in secret about their sexual sins, then we are complicit. We are culpable and we accept, without objection, the very sin that God is against.

This mindset is in every person that believes that the coming of the Lord is delayed. Believe what you want, but for those that willfully depart from the Lord will bust hell wide open. Sadly, people that do not know any better will tell you to leave them alone. Every man needs someone to love. You are foolish to even think that because of the righteous Word of God.

The Lord put restrictions in the Word of God about marriage so that whoredom would not plague the land. Yet, we see that to divorce and marry, divorce and marry again, or to separate, and have a sexually immoral dish on the side is acceptable.

Sin is never acceptable, for sin is defiance of God, and His Holy Word.

So when you see more of this mess plastered upon the Internet and news reels, just remember that the Lord is not pleased.

No one will escape the wrath of God that is to come if you deliberately step away from the Lord and His Word.

The Five Kinds Of Sinful Women To Seriously Avoid

Women are unfairly blamed for a lot of things in the world and the church. However, the Bible is clear about the kinds of women that desire to use their femininity to sexually trap men in the church. Not all women are this way. Many seek the Lord and remain holy throughout their lives. But there is the hopeless, desperate, and connection deprived women that no longer hold out.

I can’t help but underscore a woman’s discipline to abstain from sex for 15 years before yielding to her sexually immoral predator pastor and received the death sentence of HIV/AIDS.

Jesus said…..

“In your patience possess ye your souls.”

Very few churches these days escape the sex scandal. There is always two sides to every story.

When a pastor gets up before the congregation to announce his Secret Sexual Sins, it is the most devastating time for the future of the congregation.

Equally, it is the most devastating time for the wife and family of the pastor. Very few know the pain, anguish, and suffering a wife goes through. Very few understand that way before adultery, the sin of adultery that the pastor fought long and hard to avoid occurred in the secrecy of his private life.

But very few discuss the kinds of women that come to church. Some come with the intent to seduce a pastor, or any male that would look their way. Some are desperate for male companionship that to fulfill connection needs, they offer their bodies as a sacrifice to males. Sometimes break up after break up, women give up being holy and chaste, and “turn the tables” so to speak.

Very few are willing to discuss the breeding ground that led to the sex scandal in a pastor, praise and worship singers, musicians, and other leaders in the church.

Men watch women lustfully, file images in their minds to masturbate off of those images, and then they take it to the next levels in sexual addiction.


Thousands of porn images.

Then when they had enough of fantasy, the select a body. Whether they come through the doors of the church, or pastors and other church leaders engage in prostitution, strip joints, or escort services, it doesn’t matter as long as he gets a body to “cooperate” to fulfill his sexual sins.

It’s in his private life that these things have a place to be sinfully nurtured. Yes, it is premeditated. The lines he said he would never cross, eventually gets crossed.

It’s just a matter of time.

There is no question, that in the church, women out number males. And there is no question that the availability of single males in the church is significantly diminished.

There is no question that not everyone that comes to the church, comes for the right reason. That goes for men and women. Behind our worship lurks the sins of the flesh and spirit, or the mind and flesh.

For the most part we know that married and single males are always on the look out for “strange flesh.”

But strange flesh comes to church and the unsuspecting male, married or single, need to pay attention. Married women in the church need to pay attention to protect their husband because in a flash, an immoral woman will make a play for your husband.

Before I go further, let me reiterate the fact that pastoral sex abuse is no longer the exception. It is common. Pastors use their professional position to take advantage of emotionally unstable women. Male pastors that are smooth with their words and hands are quick to take advantage of unsuspecting, God fearing women that come for counseling and end up in the bedroom.

That’s what’s happening in the church. There are also staff pastors, elders, bishops, deacons, and such that cannot discipline themselves. So we know that this activity is out there.

How do the sexual immoral women come?

Proverbs, as I have stated before, is a handbook of wisdom for boys that are about to become men. There is no question that ladies can learn a thing or two from the book of Proverbs, but, it was written basically for men.

Solomon learned much about women. At the end of his reign, he had 1000 women.

The Bible tells us that “he loved many women.” 

There is no question that he had sex with every last one of them and perhaps even more.

But here is what we can learn.

There is the “type” of women that come to many churches. And do not sit there and think otherwise. We must remember that not everyone will come to the church as saved as you think.

Let’s not be naive here.

Another thing not to be naive about is that not all preachers are as clean as you think.
Preachers need Jesus. Sinning preachers need to repent and get right with God.

The kinds of women that come to church, other than the married and single, holy women of God, are called five things.

1. Evil woman. 2. Seductress. 3. Harlot. 4. Adulteress. 5. Immoral woman.

If you are not one of these five, then you have nothing to worry about. But please read on because if you are a married woman, you need to pay attention to these kinds of women that will make a play on your husband. Your husband will not see it coming, but you do and you are his only set of eyes that see beyond the innocent “hehehe’ laugh of women.

We do not put these things out to degrade women. The Bible is clear that when women of this kind comes, it is important for the male to get wisdom from God and avoid her. In Proverbs 7, her house is called, “the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death.”

In Proverbs 7, she also has this spiritual aura about her….“I have peace offerings with me, today I have paid my vows.”

According to Adam Clarke’s Commentary, “peace offerings were offerings the spiritual design of which was to make peace between God and man, to make up the breach between them which sin had occasioned…’much light is cast on this place by the fact that the gods in many parts of the East are actually worshipped in brothels, and fragments of the offerings are divided among the wretches who fall into the snare of the prostitutes’- WARD’s Customs (quote).

Sort of like the prayer that most people in silence make.

“God, forgive me for the sin I am about to commit.”

Key Scriptures to help you identify The Five Kinds Of Sinful Women.

1. Her words of seduction.

Proverbs 5:3-6…“The lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword. He feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell, lest you ponder her path of life-her ways are unstable; you do not know them.”

When you fail to keep this Scripture and go for sinful woman, this Scripture is applicable to you…..

“For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths. His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of his sin. He shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.”

2. Her beauty.

Proverbs 6:23-25 says…..

“For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”

Proverbs 7:10 says this…..

“And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious, her feet would not stay at home.”

Women dress to be noticed. Women wear make up to enhance her natural beauty. The right combination guarantees attention. All shapes, all sizes. The right combination is what gets results. But when you want red flag attention, cleavage, high and tight, and hair just right.

Then there is the loud and rebellious kind that is part of the make up of The Five Kinds Of Sinful Woman.

They hate male authority and it is indicative of hating God’s authority. No matter what you tell them, they will do it any way. And nothing stops them except death or mercifully, the power of God. The obnoxious sister that comes in every Sunday to look for trouble falls in this category. Any way to get some attention.

Yes, avoid her because you know they are trouble.

In 1 Peter 3:3-4, Peter, a married man, said this about the dress and behavior of married women…..

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

It doesn’t matter whether it’s the bar or church. When they want to get noticed, it’s an all out intentional cat walk or red carpet actions that gets a man’s attention.

And sadly, when a married woman doesn’t get her husband’s attention, she will dress to provoke the attention of other men.

So brothers, pastors, all men, whether that’s the intention or not, do not fall for it.

Here is a Scripture (Proverbs 4:25-27) that will help you….

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; remove your foot from evil.”

Did you notice “and look at your eyelids right before you?”

That means look at your eyelids. Or close your eyes and let your eyes look at the backside of the eyelids instead of her backside.

What is the price if you fail to take heed? Proverbs 6:26 says….

“For by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life…”

So males, to be men, you need to apply your hearts to the wisdom of God and avoid The Five Kinds Of Sinful Women that come to church.

If you don’t, I hope you like crusts of bread and I hope your nights in hell will be easy.

Sex and Worship, Worship Of Sex

As one king after another in the Historical section of the OT came about, many of them failed to do one thing.

Remove the high place.

Before the children of Israel occupied the land, the Canaanites built high places for their temple worship. Their high places were used for three things.

1. Worship of Idols.

2. Sacrifice of babies (out of womb abortion).

3. Sexual immorality.

There were temple prostitutes, both male and female, ready to “service” the worshippers.

As I was studying this out, I wondered why in the world would the nation of Israel would forsake God and chase after idols. Then the revelation came. This revelation came after I came out of the blindness of my own heart as a sexually sinning believer.

Sometimes when you are walking in the place of sexual sins, the meanings are completely obscured. But when you come to yourself by the Holy Spirit, the light reveals a lot of things.

Sex was the driving factor of Israel’s idolatry.

After David committed adultery with Bathsheba and killed Uriah the Hittite, Solomon took over the throne just before David’s death. The apple never falls far from the tree. Solomon had 1000 women and they all turned his heart away from the Lord. The Bible tells us that he “loved many women.”

These women worshipped other gods and turned Solomon’s heart to do the same. I do not buy the argument that Solomon did this as part of his diplomacy to keep peace among the nations. When the Lord commanded the nation of Israel to subdue the nations they were to completely annihilate these nations so that the sinful habits of these nations would not infiltrate and flourish in the land of Israel.

If you study Numbers chapters 19 through 25, you will see that the children of Israel were defeated at the plains of Moab by sexually immoral women. The plan to stop the slaughter of the nations before Israel was to get God to curse Israel (the Balaam and Balak show).

It didn’t work.

But Balaam thought about this a minute and devised a plan that the Lord Jesus revealed to His apostle, John recorded in Revelation 2:12-17.

Get the nation to curse itself by committing sexual immorality. Get them to get God mad at them.

We see the same thing today in the church.

Worship and Sexual Immorality.

For years, the church has been bound and cannot escape the temptation of sexual immorality.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul gives the answer to solve sexual immorality in the church.

Get married.

But males, these days are scared to commit. My wife and I were talking about this. I said that it’s a shame. Men are not afraid to go to war. Into harms way. Men are not afraid of getting in the ring to get their heads bashed in. But when it comes to commitment and marriage, they turn yellow belly.


When the Lord created our bodies, it wasn’t for the purpose of perversion.

What would happen if someone came into your home and tracked dirt on your white carpet? You would get upset because you had to clean up their mess. Right?

While sinners will not understand this, believers, you must understand that your body is not yours.

Listen to the message Bible of 1 Corinthians 6:18-20….

“There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God- given and God- modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

What happens when we commit sexual immorality with our bodies? Remember, our bodies is the temple of the Holy Spirit. So if we commit sexual sins, we are desecrating His temple.

What happens when we desecrate the temple?

Look at 1 Corinthians 3:16-17……..

“Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.”

Now you can see why 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 is there.

Here is where the church, the believers that profess Jesus as Lord has been missing it.

We’ve been worshipping ourselves in sexual immorality. We worship our organs. We worship our orgasms.

I know. It’s gross but you do not realize that you are idolizing yourselves and worshipping yourselves and you have assumed the throne over your bodies to commit sexual immorality at will.

The hands that are to be lifted before the Lord are to be holy.

Instead, they are lifted in Secret Sexual Sin.

The hands that have touched ourselves in self sex or in touching others in adultery, fornication, and homosexuality, we raise these same hands to God.

Not in repentance, but in utter defiance. Our defiled temples are worshipped without any thought to cleanse the temple.

The abominations continue each week and we have not stopped to think about the fact that we’ve grieved God. We are so indifferent that we do not care what God thinks. Though at times, the Lord looks at us and desires for us to simply repent before it’s too late.

Every temple that is defiled must be destroyed.

The devil’s only pleasure is when you refuse to walk free of the cycle of addiction, and you find yourself bound in an opened cell. The shackles and chains that bind you were removed by the Lord Jesus on the cross of Calvary.

The only thing that is holding you where you are is your will to stay. The devil cannot make you stay because Jesus did everything possible to free you and you are looking through an open cell that leads you all the way out of the entire prison house.

His demonic forces, incubus and succubus, rome the world in the spirit realm, looking to have sex with sleeping men and women.

As a result, the temple is desecrated.

And the Lord is not about to let your temple stand.

It’s destroyed. And when we up the ante and “act out” with another person in adultery, fornication (porn), masturbation (self sex), and homosexuality, the price is paid in full.

How is it destroyed?

STDs, HIV/AIDS, and other forms connected to death. Drugs, alcohol. The seamless fabric of sexual immorality is everywhere. But the ultimate thing is that we worship eroticism. We worship our ability to seduce men and women into the defiled bedroom and commit sex acts in the search for love, intimacy, and sexual supremacy of bodies.

And that’s why our worship services are so jacked up. So many people come in bound sexually and they are trying to worship God, but they return home to the place of their sexual chain post. Lock themselves up. And commit sexual immorality.

They worship themselves in lascivious living and are raising their hands to themselves. To worship sex.

Then they come to the facility where the church assembles and mingle with the righteous. Like a virus, sexual immorality spreads. Temple prostitutes come and offer sex to preachers, ministers, deacons, ushers. Destroying marriages. Abortions. Homosexuality.

All up in the church.

If we do not break and destroy MOAB, The Mother Of All Battles, we will see more scandals than at any time. The mighty will fall. More predominant men and women of God falling into sexual sins.

If the church doesn’t turn to God and leave behind on the cross their flesh and renew the mind, the people of God will continue to defy God and that leads to the overthrow and destruction of their temple (bodies).

The taking of Communion will curse and doom many. The meal designed to commemorate the Lord’s death is now a meal that commemorates sin, and the Lord will not let the meal of celebration, and remembrance of Him be used as a meal to commemorate sexual immorality, or any sin, for that matter.

You can stop bowing at the altar of masturbation, porn, adultery, fornication, bisexuality, and homosexuality. Un-employ every demon and drive your flesh to the wilderness and seek God in humility, cleansing yourself from the filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Destroy the altar and crucify the flesh.

Right where you are, just repent and ask for the Lord forgiveness. Ask Him to change your ways and to give you grace to overcome the next temptation that will come in the next moment or tonight.

There comes a point where you have to stand and fight.

This is the moment.

You have read many blogs on how to defeat sexual immorality. It is time to put it all together and defeat this. There is nothing too hard for the Lord and there is nothing that is impossible, if you ask the Lord to help you to live holy, moment by moment.

Turn your worship of you off, and worship God. Dethrone yourself and enthrone God. Crown Him King of kings and Lord of lords. Lift up your heads, O you gates and let the King of glory come in.

When You And Your Sins Are Called Out

It’s the worst feeling in the world to think that you can get away with Secret Sexual Sins. 

It’s sad to think that we take His love, grace, and mercy for granted.

As I was reading the story of David’s sins, I can feel what he went through. Crossing the line. Thinking that there is no way possible that his sins would get called out or that he would get caught. When it comes to planning out sin, the one thing that we ignore is the fact that the God of heaven sees it all.

Psalm 139:7-12, A Psalm of David, says

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

Go figure.


The same ruddy little shepherd boy that killed a bear and a lion to save the sheep.


The same snot nosed kid that went over by the brook to get five smooth stones to kill Goliath.


The same bold man of God that took Goliath’s sword and cut the head of Goliath clean off.


The same psalmist that wrote “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”

It’s sad that he couldn’t say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want….Bathsheba.”


The biological and generational bridge to bring in the Son of God. As a note, if Ruth, the Moabitess, a descendant of Lot’s oldest daughter by incest, after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, when Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. If Ruth had gone her own way, she would not have met Boaz.

You just cannot make this redemption stuff up.

While the kings went to battle, David stayed behind. When you read the story, if you are reading it from the mind of a woman, (please do not be offended) it is time for you to understand the mind of a man.

According to 2 Samuel 11, David conveniently stayed home because he knew that a peep show was about to happen. With being a “peeping Tom,” it is just another peep/porn show on 42 Street.

What amazes me the most is that David had a bird’s eye view. Furthermore, as you read the various commentaries about this story, women would bathe in the open at three in the afternoon. This was not unusual if you read the various commentaries.

One commentary suggests that these roof top bathing places where everywhere. This means that David had a variety of watching posts. It also leads me to believe that some of the women caught on to what the what men were doing and exercised some discretion. Then again, some women may not have exercised discretion.

David took a nap and woke up just in time to see Bathsheba bathing?

How convenient the timing. In the mind of a man, when a beautiful woman walks this way everyday, you are going to make sure that you are there at precisely the right time to catch the show. If you are aware of the custom, it is not a big deal to walk out at anytime and have your pick at what you want to see. Except for David, he knew this was going to happen.

Sometimes, it’s the other way around. Ladies do not be offended, but when you want the attention of a man, you will wear something to help a man to remember you. This is not true for all women. A vast percentage of holy, sanctified women will not do this.

A very small percentage will.

I’ve seen it in the small local church my wife and I pastor.

They come in with cleavage.

I told my wife about this and said to her, you need to tell her about this because it is a distraction. Without any hesitation on my wife’s part, an end was put to it.

Sadly, immoral women do make it difficult for preachers. At the same time, immoral pastors make it difficult on themselves when they choose not to ignore or keep their mind on God. Women, whether they come with immoral intents or not, they cannot be blamed all the time unless they come dressed that way on purpose.

Some women will take offense when a pastor tells women how to dress. It is a form of bondage. However, my wife has a right to tell any women to adjust the way they dress because she knows that the game is on.

Sadly, the immoral women believe that they are in competition for a married wife’s husband when there is no competition. You can’t compete for something that is already another person’s possession. There is only pain and misery after you “win the competition.”

What makes the immoral women think that he is going to stay? If he cheated on his wife, what makes you think that he won’t cheat on you?

For Jezebels, after the promise of power comes, and the people walk out on the cheating pastor, the conquest for power dissipates because there is no one in their right mind that would want to stay to be controlled under Jezebel’s controlling, manipulative ways.

Or, the Lord brings judgment on Jezebel and or the man of Gawd that she stole and all the plans of “ministerial conquest” is thrown into the wind.

When my brother’s and I were laying our father to rest, I was invited to a Sunday church service by a married elder. After the service concluded, we walked outside and greeted the people. All of a sudden, a young lady in a low cleavage dark blue flirty dress in white high heels came across the street.

Out of the corner of my eye, I knew the intent and I turned away so as not to make eye contact.

Sometimes, you have to know when trouble is coming. Not that she was trouble, but with my eyes and my mind, I cannot afford trouble. A man could burn that image forever for later. If you know what I mean. My wife didn’t accompany with me for the trip so the sight discipline had to be maintained.

Any way, she walked up to this married elder that invited me. It wasn’t one of these conversations that seemed “regular.”

There was no question in my mind that he knew her very well, if you know what I mean.

Not that they had “connections” but you never know. In observation with the interaction with his wife (she wasn’t at church), it wasn’t warm, if you know what I mean. But as with all personal observations, I could be wrong. Unlike most pastors, I want to be wrong about this.

Men are to be blamed as well for objectifying women.

Some will say, that I, as a pastor, have no business even mentioning it.

On the contrary, if I do not believe it is a problem, immoral women will believe that it’s not a problem. Even when my wife is with me, you’d be surprised at what single and married women are willing to do.

As I was recovering from the affects of porn, I read material about how men are not paying attention to overt and covert actions of women.

Male pastors do not see it coming.

And it is true.

This is the reason why a male pastor must understand that the enemy is always looking for an opportunity. No matter how innocent the handshake, hug, friendly greeting kiss, or small talk may appear, both women and men will entertain warped perceptions that lead to dangerous moments.


That’s what this is all about.

Women look for connections that make them feel affirmed as women. But not just any ol’ connection.

As one person said, “The anointing could make a bum look good.” 

Men just look for sex for connection and move on. That’s why the character and nature of Christ in all of us is paramount. More importantly, our relationship with the Lord is crucial because the Lord created us for His pleasure, not our own. To sin against God only reveals that we have cheapened our relationship with the Lord.

Unsuspecting to male pastors, after preaching, they are vulnerable. When you are in the strength of the anointing and grace of God, you are covered in His power. However, when you expend a lot of physical and mental energy in delivering the Word of God, after you are done, you are wide open for attacks.

This is the enemy’s chance to plant things in your mind because you are not expecting it, for one, and two, the enemy knows that if he could get you, this is the moment.

This is traced back to the time when Jesus was driven into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tempted by the devil (see Luke 4:1-2). At the end of the forty days, the devil waited until Jesus was at His weakest to get Jesus with the best temptations possible.

The ploy is the same everywhere for every preacher.

When you are at your most weakest state, the temptation will be satan’s best.

I was reading Dr. Betty Price’s book on “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives and Their Mistresses.”

Women would come to church and wear the most provocative things. They are bold and they will sit on the front row or close just to get noticed. I believe that some of these women stopped believing God for their own man to marry and go after accomplished married pastors.

In any era, it’s obvious. More than ever, we are seeing many pastor fall. We are also seeing many of these immoral women admit, after the fact, that they’ve made a mistake. It’s one mistake too late.

David took advantage of a custom. There is no question about the intent on David’s part. He knew that he would get to see what he wanted to see. His lack of discipline put him in the position to sin. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be. As with many men, they are out of position with their heart and spirit in their personal walk with the Lord.

Before any sins are committed a person must commit to sever their personal relationship with the Lord in order to commit sin. Because if you are connected to the light, in order to see, you must commit to keep the light on. The moment that you decide that you want to sin, you must disconnect from the Power.

David disconnected himself from the Lord.

When you are reading 2 Samuel 11, we must remember that this is not a real time event. This was brewing for months. There is no question in my mind that David saw Bathsheba before both in and out of clothing.

The Secret Sexual Sins in David’s heart was brewing.

It’s the same with all men. When you have someone in your mind that you want to have in bed, when you are enraged with their beauty, you will not quit until you have her. With self sex, it is not enough. You will take it to the next level.

When you read 2 Samuel 13 about Amnon being sick with lust for his sister, Tamar, now you can understand to what depths a man is willing to risk to have a woman. Amnon was willing to cross all the lines to commit Secret Sexual Sins with his own sister.

Perversion will take you into places where you thought you wouldn’t go. Or, perversion will take you into places where you planned all along to go.

Finally, after David had Bathsheba, she conceived. It probably took a missed cycle or two to figure out that she was pregnant. David had to cover his sin.

David thought that if he could get Uriah, his loyal subordinate commander, to have sex with his wife, the birth would somehow be covered. But Uriah’s loyalty kept him from his wife. Even after David got him drunk the second night, he thought that Uriah would finally see his wife. When that failed, David said in his mind and heart, “He must die.”

Uriah was killed, Bathsheba mourned for her husband, and David took her into his house.

It was then that the Lord was displeased.

Well, the Lord recorded this way because the Lord wants us to understand that sin is sin and during those months that David carefully planned this, at anytime, David could have said, “Wait! How could I do this?” 

The power and strength of lust will cause anyone to suppress righteousness, justice, holiness, and disrespect God. The power and strength of lust, when yielded to, will drive a man from His relationship with the Lord, his wife, and throw away everything the Lord ever gave them.

Lust in the heart will destroy a man, his marriage, and his family.

In the days ahead, when we are quick to walk away from the fear of God, it will not bode well for lust driven pastors and believers on judgment day. The many lives that are destroyed because of lust in the heart is not the thing that we want to bring before the Lord when we stand before Him.

I cannot say that stuff is going to be exposed like David. Exposure has happened in many places, but today, there is no fear of God before their eyes. Pastors and believers are no longer afraid that they will be exposed. Like Cozbi and Zimri, Hophni and Phinehas, the fear of the Lord is nothing to many pastors and believers.

Years ago, the late Benson Idahosa, a bishop and an apostle in Nigeria was retiring to his hotel room. He and his entourage opened the door and smelled smoke. A known prostitute was hiding in the closet of the hotel room as a plant to entrap the Bishop in a sex scandal.

She cried out that she was burning and was burned with the fire of the Lord.

This is a powerful example of why it is important to keep yourself pure because God will protect a holy man of God with the holy fire of God for the times we are living in.

Secret Sexual Sins is open field running. It’s like the people in the Body of Christ are “streaking” before the throne of God. If you do not know what streaking is, it is running the streets in the buff.

When your sins are called out like David’s was, it’s because the Lord had no choice but to expose and uncover the cover up.

May we cry out for mercy because more pastors are going to come out of the closet. More pastors will yield to Secret Sexual Sins. More female pastors will disclose their “sexual preference and orientations.” High profile pastors that we see on TV will reveal who they really are. And because we are accustomed to the perverseness of the day, it will mean nothing to us.

Just remember, the remnant that hasn’t bowed their knee to Baal is out there, but thank God that someone is interceding and praying on earth to the Father in the name of Jesus.

Let’s cry out to the Lord, for the hour that is dark upon us. These are dark days, but the church will rise and be seen as the true church. The believers will rise and pray, and declare the Lordship of Jesus.

Not in word but in spirit and truth.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

Pastoral Sex Scandals; Understanding The Failure To Resist Adulterous Booty Call

On FB (Facebook), by way of the news, a pastor’s wife attacked her husband’s mistress in church during a Sunday communion service. The year isn’t out and another sex scandal is making the news. There is a predictable pattern that follows every situation. Some variations are different but the end is the same.

The destruction of a marriage and the destruction of a viable ministry.

For this church, 40 years of ministry down the tubes.

H. B. London, a noted pastor of pastors, paraphrasing, once said, “The devil will wait for you to destroy your ministry. If you turned the devil down before, he will wait for you.”

Pastor Roger Jamison said to me paraphrasing, “After you’ve overcome the devil in the area of sexual immorality, the devils assigned to you are doing “roadwork” for the next bout. You’ve stopped him the last time. Can you do it again? The champion usually feels that his title is secure but loses his hunger to do solid road work on the level of a contender. The contender is hungry because he wants to win. So the contender is doing more pushup. More sit-ups. More road work. All in an effort to take from you your crown. Are you just as hungry to keep the title?”

Pastor, if you are not prepared to fight for your life to be victorious in battle in the plains of Moab (The Mother of All Battles called sexual immorality), it is just a matter of time before you will succumb to the urges and impulses of the flesh and mind, and destroy it all.

Sadly, this will not be the last sex scandal. Sadly, many pastors and vulnerable women will not take heed to the Word of God. Burning in lust, their desires take them from the pinnacles of power to the dog house of destruction.

Many young preachers and older ones are not looking to destroy what the Lord is doing but somewhere along the line, they lose it for the pleasure.

Booty call becomes the expedient pattern for desperate pastors and their mistresses. As I have said before, the scandal before the scandal is always in play. The affair is only a manifestation of something that happened long ago that wasn’t uncovered.

When 50% of pastors report a problem with porn in their lives, the other secret is masturbation.

No man watches porn and never masturbates or act out sexually.

Until we address this predictable pattern, more scandals will manifest without understanding the root cause of Secret Sexual Sins

But because of unbridled lust in the mind and flesh of the pastor, it is just a matter of time before he will destroy everything the Lord built.

In this particular church, after reading their “church history,” they were experiencing meaningful church growth.

Numerical growth.

But when you begin to look at the kind of positive affect you are having, you will think that you are responsible for your own success, and you become vulnerable to pride and arrogance.

While it is not the intention of God, it makes me thank God that we are a small church. In a way, it is like the Lord is saving some of us from the destructive forces that have taken down the mighty in record pace.

Whenever God is moving, it is the devil’s job to stop it. That’s what “adversary” means.

There are predator pastors in the pulpit that is unable to remain disciplined according to Job 31:1, Proverb 27:20, and Matthew 5:28. The other side of the isle is the passive predatory skills of a seductive sexually immoral woman.

Too often, the women are victimized by a predatory pastor that take advantage of emotionally vulnerable women. There is no question about the personality predatory skills of a pastor. Smooth talking pastors will use Scripture to justify his evil desires and gullible women will fall for it every time.

In their flesh and mind, the women will look at a preacher and be obsessed as they look at what was before them. They are mesmerized by his oratory skills. They begin to formulate ways to get close. Pastors do the same. They get mesmerized by a woman and will do everything to get close.

After reading Dr. Betty Price’s book, “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives, And Mistresses,” I begin to assess why women fall for these smooth talking sinful preachers. But I also took stock of the kinds of immoral women that are in the church. Too often, the women is victimized as the one that was taken advantaged of.

There is no question about this.

The victimization of women is too numeral to ignore.

However, it is equally important to point out that women do not have to go to bed with these evil passioned pastors. It is the fault of the preacher and the woman, unless it is rape.

The mistresses are passive hunters.

IF she willfully gets in bed with a pastor, she is equally culpable.

Then it is more devastating when a child is produced out of adultery.

The end result is always devastating.

God loses a man of God. The wife loses her husband (in most cases). The church loses a pastor. The mistress is labeled a whore and receives the brunt for breaking up a family and a church. If the mistress is carrying his love child, she hides for the rest of her life, never to be seen again except in court for child support. Left alone to raise a “mistake.” The children, if any, are confused about marriage. Some of the pastor’s children are even confused about gender and sexual orientation. Some will not get married for fear of revisiting the same damaging episodes observed at home.

Then again, some will get married and follow the same patterns if they are not caught in time.

We all know that there is a difference between consensual sex and rape.

In Dr. Betty Price’s interview, she pointed out that some of these women are demonic plants. In other words, they are knowingly on assignment to take down a pastor and his church.

I agree.

When God is using a man of God in a powerful way. Souls are being saved. People are experiencing the presence of the Lord. People are being helped to grow in Christ. These activities invite a visitation of lustful spirits.

The pattern is simple.

There is Biblical precedence.

Go to Numbers 25 and you will see that according to the Lord Jesus, in Revelation 2:14, the doctrine of Balaam is clear.

Because Balaam, the double agent prophet was unable to get God to curse Israel, he found a way to defeat Israel before they stepped one foot onto the battlefield.

The mistresses are passive hunters. All they need to do is show up. If they get into visual range of the pastor, they have him. If the pastor doesn’t have discipline, solid Biblical principles that he lives by, and a very satisfying marriage, both in and outside the bedroom, his heart will be taken.

As strong as Brad Pitt looks on the screen, a seductress took him away at his most vulnerable point.

IF she willfully gets in bed with a pastor, she is equally culpable.


Numbers 19, Purity.

Numbers 20, Leadership Error/Prohibition of Passage/Change Of Leadership.

Numbers 21, Supernatural Utter Defeat of Israel’s Enemy.

Numbers 22-24, The Balaam and Balak Show.

Numbers 25, The Moabite Mistresses.

The pastors follow the same pattern.

The pastors get pure before God. At some point early in their ministry, the pastors do get into trouble with the Lord and become disobedient. The pastors repent and get it right before God. The pastors experience phenomenal moves of the Spirit of God such as church growth, church building projects, and other miraculous events.

Then they lose it when they enter the plains of Moab.

Moab is the acronym for Mother Of All Battles.

Sexual immorality is the Mother of All Battles.

There are two kinds of mistresses that come to church.

1. Demonic plants.

2. Connection Seekers.

Jezebels are not mistresses per se`, because they are in a class by themselves. They sacrifice the sexual use of their bodies to get access to a pastor’s weak heart to exploit her power in the church.

There is only one objective of a Jezebel.

Ruling the church he pastors.

It’s very rare that they succeed. Most churches are too through and leave a compromised pastor for other places. Whatever power these Jezebels thought they would wield is gone before they could set up shop.


For the mistress, some are planted by the devil. They are on assignment because they believe that their sexuality is power over a man. They are able to make a man do almost anything. They believe that they are irresistible.

With this irresistibility, they gain access to a male pastor and the rest is history. Eventually, that church is destroyed and the sheep are scattered.

Demonic plants use their sexuality and femininity to get a pastor to misappropriate church funds, take them on lavish trips, sleep in hotels, and spend enormous amounts of money on expensive dinners and gifts, in an evil way, they are manipulating the pastor’s heart.

For a very few that operate as a demonic plant, it is their way of getting back at the way men may have treated them in the past. To exercise this kind of power, serves a purpose. And that is to help her develop self esteem and confidence that she may not have had if she were to pursue a normal relationship.


Then there are the mistresses that are vulnerable. Their emotional state is taken advantaged of where she lays down all rules to fight against any relationships with a married man of God. What matters is that her “needs” are met.

Even at the expense of his wife, some mistresses believe that the pastor they are involved sexually with will eventually divorce their wives, leave his family, and start a family with the mistresses. Sadly, wayward pastors think that it will get better. Only to find out down the road that they were wrong.

Mistresses know that what they are doing is wrong and against the Word of God but they are unable to resist the snake’s charm and are bitten.

For the mistress that only seeks to have connection needs fulfilled, it’s John chapter 4 all over again. They never take into consideration what the wife of the pastor is feeling. Mistresses never take into consideration that their “new” sex mate would eventually cheat on them. Especially after a great series of sex romps. He’s through with her and is looking for new conquests. Or chances are, he’s still watching other women, porn, and gratifying himself.

These conquests of his may even lead to bisexuality.

Galatians 6:7-8 and Hebrews 13:4 has never failed.


The mistresses’ need for connection, sexual release, and to have what married women are allowed to enjoy is determined to enjoy it WITHOUT BEING MARRIED.

The sex is all they want but deep down, they are looking for relationship as well. Men confide in strong women. However, he will run into a vulnerable woman that is strong willed or strong headed, and they are headed towards trouble.

Why does a married pastor want to get out of his marriage?

Sometimes things come to a head at home. They choose not to reconcile a difference or differences. All differences are reconcilable. People choose to act like immature little kids and not mutually compromise and sensibly negotiate for the mutual success of the relationship.

But before they do, the origin of all Secret Sexual Sins is sin. 1 John 2:15-17 is the base or foundation for all Secret Sexual Sins.

It’s the same with mistresses. 1 John 2:15-17 applies across the board. Secondly, the pastor is a married man. He is spoken for. There is no reason to be a home-wrecker but sadly, mistresses feel justified.

Sin will never be justified. Jesus died for our sins so that we would be freed from sin. Not to return to sin again. Otherwise, the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus means nothing.

Other mistresses become the “other woman” because of the vulnerable state of the pastor’s wife. They look for places where the pastor is vulnerable. They watch their wives to see if the wife is too passive to put up a fight. Usually, the wife had had enough of fighting at home with the husband but the pastor’s wife will fight for her marriage.

But when it comes to cheating and the pastor has had sexual intercourse, STDs are in play and the wife must exercise extreme caution because her life is at stake.

When porn and self gratification is a common occurrence with pastors, there is no question that doors are open. He will have already entertained thoughts of crossing the line into prostitutions and affairs. Self sex gets old and the thought of acting out sexually as a level one sex addict gets even more intriguing.

It’s not long before he is ready to move from fantasy to reality.

Then comes the mistress. Not all mistresses are plants. Some of them are looking for love and companionship. The attention from a man of God is too much to pass up. These mistresses know that it is wrong but to pass up having her “needs” met is sometimes too tempting to pass up.

The mistress does consider the fact that he is a married man but that soon dissipates after the smooth talker wins her confidence to sin.

What is the remedy?

All marriages must have a strong bond. It begins with an honest assessment of their own marriage by having people ask them the tough questions about the true state of their marriages. Then they must be willing to work together to fix the weak areas while keeping their strong areas strong.

Pastors must put aside every weight and the sin that does easily beset them. Including putting aside the mistress called “too busy with ministry.”

More families suffer from neglect of the “pastor/husband/father” at home and the wife, and children needlessly suffer for it. In some cases, the wife is vulnerable and will seek attention elsewhere, cross lines, and commit adultery herself. She will seek it on FB or the secret chat rooms that may lead from the chat room to the bedroom in a hotel.

Pastors must have a good relationship with the Lord through prayer, the personal Word of the Lord or a strong obedience to the Word for their own life, and strong accountability partners that hold his feet to the fire in strong confrontational, but measurable accountability in a loving, non condemning manner.

He must have careful principles as well as strong guards (male) around him that will not pull any punches when a moment of vulnerability is observed. He must be quick to implement the safeguards in order for him to keep his job.

Servant of the Most High God.

Wives must never assume that the husband is spiritually strong enough to withstand the immoral woman. It doesn’t take much for a man to be smitten. The wife must also look to protect herself. The smooth talking man could come at any moment and sweep her off her feet. She too, the pastor’s wife, is vulnerable to be a victim.

The story about “The Preacher’s Wife” with Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston, is just as real for pastor’s wives. If the home is not secure, yes, an “angel” will come and almost cross the line. Not that a real angel would cross the line but a smooth talking preacher will be like an angel and the rest may be history.

For more on this, go to for our ground breaking series called Secret Sexual Sins.

When Your Pastor Makes A Pass At You

The last few weeks, your pastor has been making not so subtle passes at you. He’s married too. But you keep pushing him off. What are you to? The last time you crossed paths with him was in the hallway that led to his study. With his smooth words, you almost fell for his charm. With his persistent persuasiveness, it is not getting easier for you to resist. As a divorcee for 2 years, the pressure to yield to his advances increases every time you see him. She had a problem that she needed counseling about and she had no other recourse but to see him.

The young lady scheduled her appointment through the church secretary. She told the church secretary about the pastor’s sexual advances towards her and requested that she stay. Earlier in the day, the pastor told the secretary that she could leave and pick up the children after the young lady arrived for counseling. Unbeknownst to the pastor, the young lady had a hidden tape recorder.

These days, these gadgets are great for surveillance and hidden recording. She didn’t want to ruin a wife’s marriage and be looked upon as a marriage/church wrecking mistress. She was more sanctified and dignified, and only wanted to please the Lord than herself. Though she was flattered by his attention and charm, she knew that what this pastor was doing was dead wrong.

The pastor concluded the counseling session by coming out from his desk to sit next to her. Like clock work, the charm came. The pastor made a move that she didn’t count on. He put his hand on her where it wasn’t supposed to be. She screamed and begged him not to proceed. Upon hearing her scream, the church secretary opened the door. Just in time.

By the way, the church secretary was also the pastor’s wife.

Not many stories end this way.

Sometimes, it does end in rape. There are many women that yield to these predators and expect nothing to happen. Many of them end up pregnant with their children. Many women that give these pastors what they want sometimes expects these men to walk away from their wives and marry them.

The sexual scandals that happen is a two way street.

In one local church, the pastor, somehow was able to persuade his associate pastor’s wife to the bedroom. And yes, she got pregnant and is seeking child support from this pastor. It is safe (and I could be wrong because stranger things have happened) to say that the associate pastor is no longer an associate pastor there.

What really stinks is the fact that this pastor followed the footsteps of David except that he didn’t kill his associate pastor and the child didn’t die.

Ladies, I know that it is the most difficult thing in the world to do.

Resist the smooth talking preacher.

Especially if he is having difficulty in his own marriage. Like I said, it is a two way street. You cannot give yourself as a sacrifice to a “mand of Gawd” that made up his mind to sin against God, you, his wife (kids), and himself (see 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Hebrews 13:4 is still in the Bible.

Read Ecclesiastes 8:11-13, too.

In the story, I gave some very basic tips.

Tip #1
Resist Temptation.

James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”

If you love Him, you will not sin against Him. If you want to be blessed, endure temptation according to 1 Corinthians 10:13. Temptation is only an offer. You can refuse to accept the offer no matter how good it is.

How do you refuse the offer?

James 4:7 says,

“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

Your resistance comes out of a place of submission to God. You cannot resist if you do not submit to God. You have to fight every temptation from the place of honoring your Lord and the Word of God.

1 Peter 5:8-9a says,

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith.”

According to Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, “sober” means, “to be free from the influence of intoxicants.”

The sinning pastor is already intoxicated with porn and self sex. This sinning pastor has moved up the ladder of level one sexual addiction and is lusting for further sexual satisfaction. He stalked you out as prey and you are next on his menu.

To be sober requires that you refuse to be intoxicated with the smooth, persuasive words of false preachers. It also requires that you “watch and pray that you fall not into temptation (see Matthew 26:41a). That’s what vigilance requires. That you pay attention to everything around you when you are around smooth talking false preachers.

Remember, women are deceived with words (see Genesis chapter 3.

Tip #2
Bring Company

When you schedule a time for counseling, go the extra mile. Invite another lady to go with you. This may eliminate clergy parishioner privilege unless a form is made and signed by any parties present to keep the subject under confidence. Demand that the door to his office remain open during the session. The pastor can excuse anyone in the area to leave so that confidence is maintained.

There must be a change of policy with pastors.

No male pastor should counsel a female alone, any where in the church. He should exercise due diligence and have qualified, competent staff female pastors available to handle the counseling of other females in the church. Request that you be counseled by a female staff pastor. If the pastor (because of bullheadedness) refuse to assign a female staff pastor, the next line of defense is preferred.

A hidden tape recorder.

Tip #3
Tell His Wife

If the pastor consistently press you for sex, or attempts to use words to suggest sex, it is sexual harassment. You must gain the courage to tell his wife, if he is married. You should also tell the elder ladies in the church that you trust. Women that are not busybodies and gossips. Women that is not a part of the problem of sexual situations in the church. If you are married, tell your husband. If you do not, the devil knows how to set you up and you will regret it.

Let me address “a part of the problem of sexual situations.” There are many women that will “protect” their pastor. The more I see women “protect” their pastor, if that pastor is genuine, there is nothing wrong with it, up to a point. It is when they see something but they do not say something that they are a part of the problem. And it is possible that they have crossed the line with that pastor and they, themselves, were victims of his sinful ways.

Tip #4

While this was not a part of the story, this is one tip that you must strongly consider.

Leave that local church and pastor. It is a matter of time before you will yield if you stay. The devil is only out to “steal, kill, and destroy” your life.

It is not worth it.

There are many women that became mistresses in the church and are marked for destruction by many former church members. While this is wrong (the hunting down of mistresses) we do not need to add drama to the situation. Just leave that local church and warn others.


There are many mistresses that will lie about genuine pastors to discredit them and their ministry.

It’s been done before.

However, if you are a legitimate pastor, if you have the proper safeguards in place, if you keep yourself and your marriage strong, no matter what the devil does, you will win. All liars will have their part in the lake of fire (see Revelation 21:8).

We can stop this madness in the church.

It takes addressing the full spectrum of the subtle traps of sexual immorality if we are to defeat the Goliath (sexual immorality in the church) of our times. Sexual immorality was a major problem in two of seven churches in the book of Revelation. As a result of their failure to deal a death blow to sexual immorality, their candlestick was removed. It was the will of God for those churches to remain in the earth.

However, they no longer exist.

Will the same be said of your local church?

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