Pastor Commits Suicide After Adultery With Staff Member

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As if the Lord issued the warning. And then you read stuff like this.

A Facebook post made this story available to me.

This truly is upsetting.

To the family that first had to endure the adultery, we ask the Lord’s grace and mercy to abound abundantly in their time of tragedy. Now this family has to deal with his death by suicide, resulting possibly from this pastor experiencing emotional trauma, shame, remorse, and hopelessness.

And they are looking for answers. 

These may not be answers but they offer a glimpse into what might have been going on. 

Needful to say that this underscores the dangers of secrecy in a pastor’s life.

Preponderance indicates that porn and masturbation were probably an issue in his life.

I don’t know everything but the Lord does. I mention this because very few people understand the issues as the Lord does. In my own life, I’ve had enough episodes to give some information. Porn and masturbation may have contributed to his adultery. If porn and masturbation wasn’t an issue, then we all know that unbridled lust In the heart of any pastor is always at the root of all sexual immorality, private or public.

I could be wrong about it because, again, I do not know everything.

Only the Lord does.

Then, you might ask, “why bring it up?”

Because this is an ongoing situation that continues to plague the Body of Christ.

This is MOAB, the Mother Of All Battles. Sexual immorality is the Goliath of our times.

What we need to do is understand some things.

We will not come to any conclusions about the matter but there are some things that we can learn from this tragic event.

Secret Sexual Sins is a major problem for 43% of pastors in the United States.

Porn and masturbation is a major stronghold for many pastors and ministers.

Sexual integrity must be maintained in the life of all Christians.

We must guard our hearts behind the pulpits and in the pews.

The devil is unrelenting when it comes to sexual immorality. If we are not watchful, every moment of our lives, we will cross lines that we say we weren’t going to cross. Pastors must not become wanderers or pimp/predators and women must not become harlots in the house of the Lord.

Many of us concentrate so much on the pastor that we seldom mention his wife. No one but her and the many other wives of pastors truly understand the pain of betrayal, rejection, and adultery. The staff member that committed adultery with this pastor is in much turmoil as well.

One thing always lead to another. Perhaps this pastor had safeguards in place to protect him from crossing the line. Perhaps she did too. But one thing always leads to another.

Speculation?

Absolutely.

Then why bring it up, you might ask?

Because it happens more often than what we are willing to admit.

In my last blog, “The Dangers Of Sex With A Pastor,” it once again, underscores the many things known and perhaps unknown to us that exist in the church.

In an interview, one former prostitute shared that the reason why these things is happening in the church is that holiness is not preached. I will add that holiness could be preached in the house of the Lord but if they are not living by holiness, it’s a form of godliness lacking God’s power. A preacher could preach about holiness till they are blue in the face. The same preacher will sin with his eyes after the sermon.

We do not know if this pastor preached or prayed for personal holiness in his life. The answer is an answer of preponderance. Probably not. But let’s say that he did preach holiness, would it have been enough for him to act on to keep himself pure before God?

Well, we won’t know the answer to this question.

But what about you pastor or female staff member?

Are you willing to go down this path and disrespect the house of the Lord?

How deep are you in sexual immorality?

Have you cried out to God for help?

Are you willing to expose yourself to get God’s power to save you from a preventable situation?

The hand of the Lord is there every moment to help you get free of porn and masturbation.

The hand of the Lord is there every moment to save you, young lady, from committing adultery with your pastor.

If you are in a situation where you are contemplating having sex with your pastor, reconsider quickly. That one moment of sin is a pandora’s box of eternal destruction. Nothing but destruction and death follows. Before you dishonor your body, fall on your knees and ask God to satisfy your longings, quench your lust, and give you eternal satisfaction like the woman meeting Jesus at Jacob’s well.

If you are a pastor and you are married, look well to your relationship, return to the wife of your youth and resolve your differences, if any. Deal with the lust in your flesh and mind. 

Get help. 

On the blog are many sites that will steer you to find the help you need to establish sexual integrity and sobriety.

Committing adultery is the last thing that you need to do right now.

This pastor committed suicide. We don’t know why but it points towards deep remorse. Just like when Judas was emotionally overwhelmed with betraying the Lord, this pastor was overwhelmed because he betrayed his Lord, and his wife.

Too much for him to overcome, he was lied to by that devil that was instrumental in getting him to commit adultery. That devil over his life probably just told him that he was nothing. He would never minister again. He will be a byword. He probably told him that he might as well end it all. That devil probably told him that his wife no longer loved him and that God would never forgive him.

ALL LIES FROM THE FATHER OF LIES!!!!!

No matter how deep and dark our sins are, the Father forgives, cleanses, and restores.

Sexual sin will take you further that you want to go. Sexual sin will keep you longer than you want to stay. Sexual sin will cost you more than what you are willing to pay.

Sadly, the Reverend Seth Oiler will not be the last pastor to commit adultery. He will not be the last to feel the bitterness of remorse and hopelessness, and in a quest to seek relief, never seek God but seek death for relief.

Regrettably, more stories have already happened. This tragedy just made the papers. Others are lost in the news.

But if you are reading this and you feel hopeless, just fall to your knees and ask the Lord for help.

God is gracious and kind. He is holy and never tolerates sin, but when we come to Him in true repentance, He will give grace and mercy to you liberally.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says, “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The story of this tragedy could be read here.