The Dangers Of Sex With A Pastor

For the last few months, I’ve noticed some titles. I take note of these things because there is no question that when this topic is out there with increased frequency, it is possible that a woman or some women are about to engage in sex with a male pastor.

There is no question about the fact that there are more married pastors than there’s single pastors, but I find that just because the pastor is married, to a single or married wrong minded woman, to them, it doesn’t mean that he is “off limits.” The wrong woman mistakenly assumes that he is fair game.

Dissatisfaction within the marriage happens for a number of reasons, and it happens in every marriage. However, it is not a good reason to look over the other side of the pulpit or pew to engage in sexual immorality.

Another woman, whether a prostitute or a vulnerable church woman is not the solution to solve dissatisfaction in the marriage. To have the wrong pastor is not the answer.

All it takes is the right set of circumstances to set up sexual immorality, and the game is on.

Woman that attempt to engage in sex with a pastor may be filled with romance fantasies that lead to sin. Just as men engage in sexual fantasies, women engage in romance fantasies. 

Pastors are vulnerable due to being emotionally and physically drained after preaching. That’s why it’s always best for a pastor to retire to his study to escape these vulnerabilities. 

But he must escape other temptations on Sunday afternoon. Watching sports with cheerleaders. Watching movies with sex in it. Watching news with club dressy women. Watching shows with sex laced trailers and commercials. 
Checking the Internet and getting bombarded with provocative women and chatting with women in the chat rooms. 

When pastors go to the store or supermarket, the checkout counter is filled with salacious titles and sex pictures. 

More pastors open themselves to being exposed to material inadvertently and then they deliberately go after flesh. 

After the preaching of the Word of God, the anointing to preach lifts off of the man of God. The trek down the mountain top is full of booby traps, trip wires, ambushes, and IED’s (improvised explosive devices). I’ll get to IED’s for pastors in this blog.

Dr. Archibald D. Hart once said that sex is a great “pick me up.” In either case, whether the man of God feels like he’s conquered the world in his preaching, he wants a “reward.” When he feels that he didn’t nail his sermon, or he feels emotionally down, he wants a “pick me up.”

Women instinctively this pick up in understanding the emotional vulnerability of a man.

For instance in 1 Kings 21:1, Ahab wanted Naboth’s vineyard. Naboth told Ahab that it belonged to him, given to Naboth as an inheritance from his fathers.

Covetousness driven him to have Naboth’s vineyard and when Naboth said “no,” Ahab’s countenance changed. Ahab returned to his residence and Jezebel observed his countenance.

1 Kings 21:4-5 says, “So Ahab went into his house sullen and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” And he lay down on his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no food. But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said to him, “Why is your spirit so sullen that you eat no food?”

Jezebel, as with women in general, will pick up the mood of a man just by reading his body language and countenance.

When they ask “What’s wrong,” the wrong woman will steer a man.

The rest of the story ended in Naboth’s death.

The wrong woman is able to pick up dissatisfaction in a pastor’s marriage and will attempt to be a voice as well as become sexually available to connect with him.

Now ladies, it’s important for you to understand that you are not married to him and you have no business becoming an intermediary. What I have also come to realize is that there are many women that will not accept responsibility for their actions and place the blame on the pastor.

Both must be blamed.

The wrong pastor and the wrong women.

The pastor didn’t maintain his sexual integrity with his wife. Allowed personal issues to become blockades to reconciliation, and never sought help from other pastors to deal with his personal issues. There is also his personal life that must be dealt with.

Is he watching porn and masturbating?

Whether he is having marital issues or not, porn and masturbation is a clear sign of disconnection that the wife cannot ignore. Extracurricular sexual activity, without committing adultery with another body is always at the root of many issues in a marriage relationship.

The “wrong woman” will pick that disconnection up.

In Genesis chapter 3, the devil entered the serpent to deceive Eve. However, based on preponderance, the devil was watching the interaction between Adam and Eve and concluded that Eve was inquisitive. The disconnection between Adam and Eve was detected and that’s when the enemy made his move.

Because of the disconnection, the enemy was able to make his move and plunged all men into death.

Hence, when the wrong woman detects the disconnection between a pastor and his wife, and she makes her move.

On the other hand, the wrong pastor seek vulnerable, insecure, emotionally unstable women too. It is never one sided. Sometimes, “worlds” collide under the right/wrong set of circumstances. With the wrong pastor, he has now become a predator and seeks to take advantage. He has the ability to see who is wiling to engage in sexual immorality and deceive a woman.

This is where women have to learn to guard their emotions and be on guard. The wrong pastor will turn into a serpent right before your eyes. He will be subtle like the serpent in Genesis 3. At first, it appears innocent, harmless, and safe. Pastors will not make their move until he knows that he’s won your heart. You trust him. You feel safe around him.

You don’t see it coming.

He touches your hand. Strokes your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek. He’s re-assuring you with words that you wanted to hear. Not realizing that the wrong pastor is playing with your affections. This goes on regularly and then he makes his move. He perverts the Word of God as you give token resistance. You believe him and the rest is history.

“…and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death.”

There are other women that know to stay away from them. They recognize the signs when he makes his move and they blow the whistle. They run from them quickly before trouble manifests.

Proverbs 14:15 says “The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.”

Proverbs 22:3 says “A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.”

This is the improvised explosive device.

It happens on both sides.

The wrong women lay the explosives just as good as the wrong pastor.

When it explodes, it leaves body parts all over the place.

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