Internet Porn: Regaining Sexual Self Control

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Ephesians 5:18 says, “And do not be drunk with wine [porn], in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit…”

Several years ago, I was just starting my journey to the depths of sexual depravity. When computers came out, the Internet became the highway to information. But it also became the most powerful way to engage in sexual depravity under these conditions.

Anonymity

Accessibility

Affordability

When it comes to Secret Sexual Sins, you do not want people to know what you are doing.

Especially your wife.

You do not want to be denied, so easy access is to your benefit.

You do not want to spend more than you could afford, BUT you will spend what you have and neglect any bills that have priority.

While on the job, on my personal laptop, I accessed sites anonymously, or so I thought.

I never used the company computer because it was against company policy for which you could be fired.

Why can’t we apply that policy from God on our personal TV’s and computers?

Just a thought.

But we all know that your identity is already known because every computer has a code that easily identifies you. So anonymity is out the window when you get on the Internet. For instance, when you visit certain sites and never make a purchase, today, when you surf the Internet, that site that you were on comes up without your help.

It’s so advanced that your iPhone knows what time of the day you go home and tells you, without you asking, how much time it would take to get home.

So forget about anonymity.

In fact, because I blog regularly about sexual immorality, salacious sites, texts, and emails are sent to lure me back into the dark world of pornography. At one time, because I talked so much about homosexuality, a site meant for another person was sent. It was a cruise ship proposal where homosexuals from all over the United States book a cruise to engage in lewd conduct.

Getting back to computers. While I was surfing the net for porn, site after site came up. It ganged up on me and overloaded my computer. Several times it froze to where I had to do a reset to get the laptop to work. When I went back on the site, it acted up again because it was big business. If they gained access to your credit card or debit card, the charges would clear out your account.

I had enough presence of mind not to give them access to my cards because it would be a money trail that destroys any sense of control.

The lure would be that they would show you enough free porn and if you want more, you had to use your card.

Also, a sudden fear came upon me that, if by accident, I clicked a site for child porn, it’s an instant invitation to the FBI. The last thing that I needed was for the FBI to come to my job and arrest me for child porn. It doesn’t matter if you click with intent or by accident. You will be arrested. So that’s when viewing porn on my laptop was a thing of the past.

Internet pornography is a trap for men that are not under control.

That’s why if you do not regain sexual self control, you will not stop.

Dr. Mark Laaser told a story in his book about a pastor doing armed robbery to pay for his porn and prostitution addiction.

If you do not control your sexual appetite, you will do things that will not make sense.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 says “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

When it comes to sexual immorality, you will not be under control.

You might think that you are controlling the circumstances but you are deceiving yourself.

There was a story in Dr. Patrick Carnes book about a man that went on the Internet to chat with an underaged girl. He contacted a friend on the Internet and they were chatting with the same “girl.” His friend decided to take things to the next step and made arrangements at a restaurant to meet with this girl. So this person that broke off the relationship decided to spy them out. As his friend got out of the car to meet this “girl,” police cars surrounded him and his friend was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex.

The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” with Chris Hansen, aired between 2004 and 2007, was an incredible show where men would solicit minors for sex. They would chat on line to set up the meet. Some predators would drive or ride their motorcycles for hours just to have sex with minors. As lawyers, doctors, mechanics, priests, and pastors from all walks of life, would come into a house, Chris Hansen would meet with them as the minor walked out.

As soon as they arrive at the house, hidden cameras were on and recording everything. A transcript would be made and Chris Hansen would read the predator’s real intent as the cameras would come out. These predators try to deny that they were after under aged girls and under aged homosexuals. After the conversation, the police would be waiting for them outside.

Pastor Roger Jamison of Sword of the Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY once told me that one person put it like this. Sexual sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”

Sadly, many men will not listen. Even sinners with a dark heart towards God have a conscience. They hear that they should not do what they intend to do but they suppress it for the pleasure.

“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the PRIDE OF LIFE.”

The pleasure causes a man to throw away wise counsel.

On that show, “To Catch A Predator,” a couple of men said that they heard something on the inside of them telling them not to go. A few persons told Chris Hansen that they watched the show before. Another predator was a repeat offender. Caught twice on the same show. This dude had already appeared before a judge for the same crime………………the week before showing up at this house.

There are many wives that are suspecting that something is going on.

That inward intuition is usually right. In most cases, she already knows. It’s just that she is processing the information because any act of betrayal is too hurtful for most women to confront. It’s when the full disclosure after discovery occurs that she is able to start the process of confrontation.

Most selfish men will apply blame on the wife and try to act more hurt than the wife.

Granted, both are in pain. The discovery was painful for the man because he was exposed and the betrayal was painful for the wife because she thought that her husband wasn’t keeping secrets.

How does a man bring himself under control?

1. Repentance.

Nothing will be right until he settles the debt with God.

2. Accountability.

No man can win the battle of sexual immorality without other eyes watching your life.

3. Catching Your Moments.

If you are not willing to submit to God every moment of your life, all it takes is one look, and you are back to square one.

4. Guard What You Are Feeding On.

“Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

If you are not willing to guard your heart and close the door, the thief will come with his best to bring you back into bondage.

5. Fill Your Heart With Good Things.

“Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103:5

You must be willing to do what it takes to replace what you were feeding on to be filled with God and His Word.

Freedom is not free. Neither is self control. You have to pay a price for freedom. You have to fight until Jesus comes or until you breathe your last breath.

You might be saying that you are not a predator.

That’s debatable because if you haven’t stopped, you may be a predator to yourself.

Every line you say you wouldn’t cross is a line you intend to cross. It’s just a matter of time.

As time progresses, the devil hasn’t brought out his best for you just yet. There’s always that one hot looking male or female that he has in reserves just in case you stay longer than you supposed to. And when you break free, the devil has a long list of his best that he will bring to tempt you. He knows that you are not in control.

But you can out smart the devil by living as a dead man.

Romans 6:11-14 says,

“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

Yes, it takes time to get to this stage but the more you yield to God, the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” will govern you as you obey the Hoy Spirit and the Word of God according to 1 Corinthians 10:13.