Come Clean. OR BE EXPOSED!!!!

Have you ever heard foot steps behind you and you needed to look behind you to see who is coming?

The footsteps of God we’re getting louder for me and I knew He was about to expose my Secret Sexual Sins.

Not too many men and women believe that the Lord would expose a person’s secrets.

The Scriptures is full of examples of the Lord exposing the secret hearts of men.

When Jesus was weary from His journey, He stopped by Jacob’s well. In John chapter 4, a woman of Samaria came with her water pot to get water and the rest was history. She had 5 husbands and the one that she was presently with was not her husband. She responded, “I perceive that you are a prophet.” 

When David sinned by killing Uriah, his trusted military commander, to cover up David’s adultery with his wife, Bathsheba, Nathan the prophet came in and exposed the entire sin. God said through the prophet what you have done in secret, I will now judge you in the noon day sun. Psalm 51 is the adulterer’s psalm of deep repentance for sinning against God.

When a man committed incest in the Corinthian church, Paul committed his body to be destroyed by satan so that the spirit of that man would be saved. This sin of having his father’s wife was so egregious, that Paul said that the world don’t even do this. 2000 years later, the world is doing it.

The only way that people will listen is when God exposes these sins so that the fear of God would return to the people. When people are not afraid to sin against God, their hearts are ready to do evil.

A man sins against God, and then nothing happens. He feels embolden to commit that same sin again, and again.

Notice what Ecclesiastes 8:11 says.

“Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.”

In other words, because they weren’t caught, they are embolden to commit more evil. Because the Lord didn’t judge them at that moment, they get real bold and sin again.

This gives us reason to believe that when a sentence isn’t executed speedily, it also gives us an indication that it is just a matter of time. It is inevitable. The eventuality of judgment is just a matter of time. Unless they repent.

There are many of us that believe that judgment happens to the other man that sinned. That judgment will never happen to me. But it is just a matter of time. Sooner or later, you will get caught and when you do, if God exposes it, it will not be pretty.

Psalm 139:11-12 says “If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

You can run. You can hide. But God seen your steps before you were born. You were caught before you came out of the womb. God seen it before in eternity past. In eternity, God knew that you would be bold and brazen.

The night time is when the most sinful activity takes place.

Notice what Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 5:7.

“For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night.”

 Psalm 90:8 says “You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.”

Depending on who the Lord is dealing with, sometimes exposure happens rapidly, and at other times, exposure takes place after years.

Notice what the Lord Jesus said in Luke 12:2.

“For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known.”

Yet, sinful carnal Christians will not care. Neither will some of them take heed. They will pursue, in secret, their Secret Sexual Sins.

It shouldn’t take the threat of a prophet to awaken us to come clean or be exposed, but God is not after just humiliating you. He is after your heart to save you before your sins ensnares you in the eternal lake of fire (see Revelation 21:8).

If it takes humiliating you then so be it. God is after your heart. Our spirit man belongs to God and God does not want to lose you.

Breaking Bad Sexual Patterns, Habits, And Cycles

Paul gave these words in Romans 13:12-14.

“The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

Notice what Paul said by the Spirit of God in verse 14 “….and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

Notice the Greek word recorded in Strong’s Concordance for “provision.”

“g4307. πρόνοια pronoia; from 4306; forethought, i. e. provident care or supply:— providence, provision.”

This is important because all habits, patterns, and cycles takes “forethought.”

All sexual sins is premeditated, thought out, planned, deliberately planned and executed.

James gives us a little insight regarding how we premeditate sexual sins.

James 1:14-15 “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”

So when it comes to sexual immorality, we deliberately involve forethought to fulfill the desires of the flesh.

The desires of the flesh are aroused or enlivened by our own desires”…….then we are enticed.” The word “enticed” means to be baited.

The devil watched you to see or observed your desires, your tendencies, and your preferences.

Then the devils assigned to trip you up send the bait. The conception occurs when we, like fish, bite on the bait. But we do not see the hook because we desired the bait, we pay no attention to the hook. This conception gives birth to sin and sin when it is finished, brings death.

When the desires, tendencies, and or preferences of the flesh and mind is pursued, the devil then places the bait before us every time.

As time progressed, we’ve developed these desires, tendencies, and preferences into habits, patterns, and cycles.

It becomes a ritual that leads to “acting out.

Hence, Dr. Patrick Carnes’ definition of sexual addiction.

1. Thoughts or Fantasy. 2. Rituals. 3. Acting Out. 4. Remorse.

Habits, patterns, and cycles is the Second thing on the circle of sexual addiction.

To stop the ritual or the deliberate, intentional planning, you have to capture and put to death your sexually immoral thoughts and fantasy.

The only way to break a habit, pattern, or cycle, you must stop the thoughts and fantasy. But it is not enough to stop the thoughts and fantasy to stop the habit, pattern, and cycle. You have to replace these things with good thoughts and no fantasy.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

If you think lust, so is he. If you think perversion, so is he, etc.

Notice Philippians 4:8 from the English Standard Version says “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

As long as you are unwilling to change, destroy, annul, put to death the sinfully explicit thoughts and fantasies, the rituals will continue, the acting out will continue, and the remorse lacking repentance will continue.

God’s power delivers instantaneously. It’s when we are serious to maintain the deliverance that God’s power is working. From the moment we initially walk away until we walk into heaven, that’s when the instantaneous power of God is at work perpetually.

To break the power of sexual addiction, you need the power of the Holy Spirit. You need to get intimate in prayer with God. You need to become obedient to the Word of God that the Holy Spirit gives you.

Just as you instantly obeyed the lust of the flesh and mind, like Paul said in Romans chapter 6, we yield members to the Lord in righteousness and holiness.

If we fail to listen to the Holy Spirit according to 1 Corinthians 10:13, we will fall into sin. If we fail to listen to the Holy Spirit according to James 1:2-4, we will fall into sin. If we fail to pursue holiness, we will not see the Lord according to Hebrews 12:14.

Unmistakable Signs That Your Husband Is Watching Porn

There are unmistakable signs that your husband is watching porn.

Over the life of a relationship, you will have seen some things and behaviors that you’ve ignored or sup[pressed.

But now these signs have noticeably intensified.

It’s not necessarily in a specified order.

Sign number 1Secrets

Psalm 90:8 says “You have set our iniquities before You, Our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.” 

The Amplified Bible of this verse says “Our iniquities, our secret heart and its sins [which we would so like to conceal even from ourselves], You have set in the [revealing] light of Your countenance.”

A man must keep a secret when he is discreetly watching porn.


Because it is part of the game and it is embarrassing to him.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Whether it is physical adultery or sight adultery, the shame is the same.

For some reason, you’ve suspected something and you begin to inquire. The answers that he gives to you is defensive and evasive.

Immediately, he shifts the subject to avoid further questioning, or he is infuriated that you caught him. The questioning is an inquisition or an intense exhaustive investigation. To get the answer, a woman will put the pressure on her husband until she gets a satisfactory answer.

For men, sex is like a sport or a game. The seduction and being seduced is a game. The objectification of a woman is also part of the game. He is thinking in his mind how he would have sex with her.

To fulfill this false fantasy, he often masturbates unless he takes it to another level.

Prostitutes or having a short or long term adultery.

Sign Number 2No sex with the wife.

It’s been a few days and he hasn’t touched you.

There is only one Scripture in the Bible that permits husbands and wives to abstain from sex for a season.

1 Corinthians 7:5 says “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self- control.”

So far, you know that your husband is not in deep prayer and fasting, so what’s up?

It’s very common for illness or injuries to take place, but you’ve noticed that he is healthy as an ox. So what’s the deal?

It’s possible that he may be exhausted from the day’s work. Or is he exhausted from masturbation?

ED or erectile dysfunction is common among men that are between the ages of 45 and 60 which requires medicinal intervention or he may need to lose a few pounds and exercise.

Sign number 3 – Watching other women.

Every now and then, you catch him looking a long time at other women. You’ve ignored it because you did not want to confront him for peace’ sake. However, there is a difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. Peacemakers are blessed according to Jesus. Peacekeepers are armed to keep both parties apart by force, if necessary.

Proverbs 27:20 says “Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

One by one, your husbands keeps looking at other women. Sometimes he even opens his mouth to tell you about how well they dress and look. But he never gave you a compliment.

The shows that he watches on TV, Cable, Internet, or Satellite. They are overly sexy with sex scenes. You go to the movies or sports arenas with him and his eyes go to searching for female flesh to lust after.

When your husband watch sports on TV, he watches the “sexy commercials” or the half time show on Super Bowl Sunday to check out the cheerleaders, female dancers, and singing artists that heavily seduce men.

You make nothing of it, but that’s what he lives for.

Deliberate straying eyes is a dead give away.

Should you confront him, he will be defensive. He will behave for a moment and then resume. The periphery of the eyes is equally damaging to the mind of a man.

He will do anything to get a look. Like using the reflection of the window to lustfully look at a woman. The mirrors in department stores. The magazine section in the grocery stores and at the checkout counter.

The morning and evening news shows and weather women, scantily clad, dressed for the night life.

All of these things are serious signals that he is engaged in some objectification of women.

Finally Sign number 4Your husband ignores you.

When a man is sexually distracted with hundreds of sexual images in his mind, he is not going to pay attention to you.

You can’t have a decent conversation with him because he is having a conversation in his mind with hundreds of women that he filed sexually in his soul. You press him to talk to you and he clams up, avoids you, and goes to another part of the house or apartment to get away from you. He locks the door so you would not interrupt his porn and masturbation.

This may go on for weeks or months.

Some wives will confront this issue and others will be passive.

If your husband is a follower of Jesus, he is already convicted, but he has learned how to suppress this conviction to continue in sin. For the wife that is a believer, she must ask the Lord for wisdom. It’s already a volatile situation. He is already on edge. In fact, for the child of God, you are already on edge yourself. You have questions in your mind as to whether you are to blame for your husband’s porn issue.

The home environment may have contributed to his delving into porn, but if you dig deeper, this issue took place in his youth. As a male, he has crossed lines he intended to cross a long time ago. It just so happens that in the marriage, he decided to open the cork and let it all spill out.

He never sought the Lord for guidance, wisdom, and help. Perhaps, his pastor never addressed the issue to help him.

With all of these and other scenarios, what matters now is what are you to do now?

What is a wife to do?

Pray, pray, pray.

Paul said in Romans 8:26 “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

When you do not know what to pray for as you ought to know, this is where the Holy Spirit comes in to give you the assistance you need to get the job of getting your husband’s deliverance done.

When it comes to the sins of man, the Lord is never caught off guard.

Jeremiah 17:9-10
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.”

Many wives do not know how to pray or what to pray. This is where you need to find a few women that know how to pray along these lines.

James 5:16 says “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Find faithful women that you could trust and confide in. Gather with them to study the Word of God to find solutions from God’s perspective.

Also there is tremendous material and books on how to deal with your husband’s porn addiction habits.

Millions of women are looking for quick solutions to this debilitating issue. However, you should settle in for the long haul. The devil is going to fight you tooth and nail. The husband will listen to the devil quicker than to God. Porn addiction is no different than drug and alcohol addiction. And these addictions are interconnected. Be prepared to see the worst before the resolution manifests. But know that God is not intimidated by the worst.

You must remember that sexual immorality is the devil’s top stronghold in the world.

“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world….”

Usually when the worst manifests, it’s an indication that it’s about to be resolved. Then again, sometimes the worst happens and the man is swept away in the flood of Secret and Overt Sexual Sins. But one thing is certain. God hears and answers prayer no matter how deeply involved your husband is in porn.

Deliverance is just a prayer and an answer from God away.

When confronting your husband, ask him to see the pastor or someone that has experience in this area. Sadly, there are very few pastors that are well versed in handing porn and masturbation addiction. However, the Lord is not going to leave you or forsake you. The Lord will steer you to the right resources and the right kind of help to get you through this crisis.

But for now, pay attention to these signs. Never give up. The devil lost when he attempted to attack God in heaven. What makes us think that the devil will win in this battle? Never let the devil get into your mind that you are going to lose your husband to pornography and masturbation.

Your marriage can be restored.

It’s a stronghold, but it is not stronger than our God.

Stronghold’s purpose is to prevent the inhabitants from being destroyed. But God knows where the weak spots in the stronghold are. NO demonic stronghold is impenetrable.

Do not wait to confront your husband. Do not wait to get help.

The longer you wait to confront this issue, the more enhanced the stronghold becomes. However, just because a stronghold gets stronger, it is never stronger than our God.




American Association of Retired Persons (logo).png

AARP & LGBT are connected?

This isn’t news to most of the American world.

However, it was news to me when I looked on the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) site to renew my membership.

Everyone knows that when you reach the age of 50, AARP reminds you with an email so that you could join the ranks of the 50 and over club. No one is really excited about getting up in age because it is a signal that you are entering the back end of life.

But all of a sudden, I noticed on the bottom of their web page their support for LGBT.

Let’s face it.

Almost every business and sadly, some professed believers, except the holy believers of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I am not talking about catholicism, will support the sin of homosexuality. Most businesses and gay affirming houses of demonic worship will have some statement of inclusion or outright support for the sin of homosexuality.

You can’t be a house of the Lord to worship God while supporting the very sin God sent His Son into the earth to die for.

As a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, the Bible is clear about God’s stand against the sin of homosexuality.

God is clear as a bell about it. Genesis chapters 18 and 19, Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:18-32, and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

A gay or practicing homosexual cannot inherit the kingdom of God. Just like adulterers, fornicators, effeminates, sodomites, extortioners, liars, thieves, murderers, etc. Matthew 7:21-23 is clear as a bell. Those that practice lawlessness and those that refuse do what the Lord Jesus said will be told by the Lord, “Depart from Me you that practice lawlessness.”

So, in the best interest of keeping my relationship with the Lord, I had to say goodbye to AARP.

Almost everything that we buy, our proceeds go to support the sin of homosexuality. Starbucks, Home Depot, The Girl Scouts, The Boy Scouts, and other organizations.

The Lord is a jealous God and He will have no other gods before Him (see Exodus 20:3).

The driving force behind these businesses is money.

Jesus said this in Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”

Paul said in 1 Timothy 6:10 “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

Money is driving the reason why businesses support the sin of homosexuality. So, in broad daylight, if you declare as a business your unwavering support for LGBT, you are in the money.

The moment that you declare that you do not support the sin of homosexuality is the moment that you are listed as a bigot, discriminate, a gay hater, and of course, the “H” word.


And in most cases, you are sneered at and cut off from any of their money.

When the god of money speaks, either you listen or you are blacklisted as a business that is against the god of homosexuality called LGBT.

As one person put it so appropriately……“I’d rather be judged by the world that has no hell to put me in than to be judged by Almighty God that is fully capable of putting all sinners into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone.”

Jesus, the One every one says is about love, said these indisputable words in Matthew 10:28.

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”

You see, in the figment of their imagination, they have erected a god that favors their sin. That’s why they want SSM. Marriage legitimizes a relationship. But only God legitimizes a relationship according to Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:4-5. Since God created male and female. Since God brought the woman to the man. Since God joins male and female, man doesn’t have the right to alter, substitute, change, or adjust to their liking what marriage is supposed to be.

Since male and male, or female and female cannot copulate, it is further evidence that incompatibility proves the righteousness of God. You can’t connect two male prongs and you cannot connect two outlet plugs.

One has to be male and the other has to be female.

Very simple concept, yet, it is very difficult concept for practicing homosexuals.

Few of us understand to some extent in our finite minds the magnitude of His death, burial, and resurrection. Jesus didn’t just come to be a nice prophet, teacher, and prolific speaker. Jesus is the Lamb of God sent into the earth by the Father to pay for man’s sins by dying on the cross. God placed on Jesus our chastisement. Jesus bore our punishment to free us from the power and guilt of sin.

To reject so great a salvation or to try to live in sin and try to claim some righteousness of our own is a big disrespect to the One who paid our penalty.

Money is the driving force behind these advertisements.

So, either you support them or you are cut off from their money. In some states, you will be taken to court for defamation, discrimination, and bigotry. They will make you go through some sort of “sensitivity training.”

Which is just another form of brainwashing you to make righteousness out to be bad and sin to be good.

Sensitivity to the sin of homosexuality and insensitivity to the Word of God.

Many homosexuals are hurt because the Bible rejects their sin. We never look at it from the Lord’s perspective that man hurt God by walking away from His will and standard. Sin is destructive. Sin leads to death. All the Lord wanted to do is save man from sin so that man wouldn’t destroy himself.

Yet, man wants destruction than life.

So goodbye AARP.

The Sexual Control Of Jesus

Are you having difficulty controlling your erection in the morning and at night? Ladies, are you having difficulty controlling where your hands go?

This is real.

Every child of God, whether married, separated, divorced, or single, have endured these moments and there are moments where they cannot control themselves.

Sexual failure doesn’t have to happen because we do not have to yield to our urges and impulses for physical intimacy.

We can control ourselves because we have the fruit of the Spirit called “self control” (see Galatians 5:22).

Paul disciplined his flesh according to 1 Corinthians 9:25-27.

Jesus enters the house of Mary and Martha and has a conversation with two women in the house. Plenty of temptation here.

Weary from His journey, Jesus stops by Jacob’s well in Samaria to have a conversation with a woman that had 6 men.

After confronting the men about a woman’s adultery, Jesus is left alone with her.

A woman sheds tears on the feet of Jesus and uses her hair to wipe away her tears.

A woman opens an alabaster box and pours expensive oil on the body of Jesus.

In Luke 11:27 a woman shouted at the Lord Jesus. “And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!” But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”

For 40 days, the Lord Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. Knowing the devil, he left no stone unturned. If you think that the devil pulled any punches, you are dead wrong.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says, “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The writer of Hebrews declares that Jesus was tempted “in all points.”

The New Living Translation says this…

“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.”

And that’s the control that the Lord Jesus had over His sexual organ.

Jesus was the Son of Man. He lived in flesh just like we are living in our flesh. If you believe that Jesus was never tempted to act on an erection, you are dead wrong.

He knew what to do when tempted. Whether He was with women or alone at night when an erection is about to take place. He knew how to control Himself and not touch Himself sexually.

How did Jesus do it? How did Jesus maintained His control over His body?

Hebrews 5:8 gives us the answer. “…though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.”

Obedience to the Word of God is the key to success over the flesh.

Another reason for the success of the Lord Jesus was listening to the Holy Spirit.

Many of us believed that the only reason that the Holy Spirit was upon the Lord Jesus was for miracles and casting out devils.

Many of us missed that after the Lord was baptized, the Holy Spirit came upon Jesus. Then the Holy Spirit drove or led Him into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.

During the temptation of Jesus, the only weapon that was allowed was the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Jesus couldn’t run from this testing because what He was doing was proving out the Word of God in learning obedience.

That’s what makes having the Spirit of Christ in us so important.

The work and the effort for Jesus to stay holy gives us the advantage over the devil. That if we employ the same obedience by the grace of God, listening to the Holy Spirit, and flee sexual immorality, we stand a good chance of walking in victory every time.

Listen to Paul’s revelation by the Holy Spirit in Romans 8:9-10

“But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.“

Every time we sin against God, it brings into question whether we are His or not.

The other way that Jesus combated the moment of truth when an erection was about to occur is His prayer life.

Notice what Jesus said in Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

The Lord Jesus gave away His secret to His sexual discipline.

It’s what we do or do not do when the urge to touch ourselves sexually to masturbate comes.

When we look at Jesus, He knows how to obey and pray. Therefore, He understands our weakness. The Lord Jesus sympathizes with every groan we breathe.

We, too, must do the same.

“Come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need.”

That time of need is the evil day when we are tempted to touch ourselves sexually. It is then that the Holy Spirit comes and gives us help when we need it the most.

Notice these words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:12-13.

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

Paul said these words in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Psalm 119:9-11 says “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”

If you take more time to hide the Word in your heart, if you take more time to take heed according to His Word, if you seek Him with your whole heart. if you refuse to wander from His commandments, you stand an excellent chance to overcome when you are tempted to be sexually aroused.

Finally, notice what the Lord Jesus said. “Watch and pray…”

If you fail to watch and pray, the devil is watching to make you his prey.

Stopping watching sex laced movies, commercials, Internet, and other portals where you expose yourself to the temptations of the world. Things that you see during the day will be stored in your mind, to be used by the devil to remind you to arouse your flesh.

Just as the Word of God is a seed and can produce, the devil uses words and pictures to plant seeds to be produced later according to James 1:14-15.

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full- grown, brings forth death.”

You have enough of the Word in this blog to employ in your life.

Just as Jesus overcame, you can too.

PORN & MASTURBATION: 40 Questions Pastors Should Ask Your Husband

Even as information is available everywhere to discuss this taboo issue, many wives have expressed disappointment and frustration over the fact that pastors are ill-equipped to address their husband’s porn and masturbation activities.

The answer is simple.

Pastors are ill-equipped for three reasons.

1. They’ve never studied the subject thoroughly enough.

2. They are secretly involved in porn and masturbation themselves (50% of pastors in America).

3. They refer the subject to worldly counselors and Christian counselors, specializing in this area.

I thank God for Pastor Roger Jamison, senior pastor of Sword Of The Spirit Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY for showing me where to get the information and he deserves much of the credit for this. A majority of these questions were posed to me by Pastor Roger. I’ve written down a few of my own to cover as much ground as possible.

I believe that every pastor should understand the very basics of this subject because sooner or later, a wife will come into the pastor’s study with questions. Sooner or later, a husband will come into the pastor’s study and ask questions to be delivered.

In many circles, deliverance ministry is often the way many pastors address the issue.

They anoint with oil, pray for them, lay hands on them, and then send them on their way.

Few realize that it will take this and one on one ministry over a long period of time.

Sexual immorality is a very entrenched stronghold that requires tenacity, vigilance, persistence, and a willingness to cut certain things to the root.

Porn, masturbation, and illegal sex is man’s most sacred idol.

You mess with a man’s immoral sex life and you will get his wrath.

Very few men will desire to be free because they believe that this is their business.

Pastors should avail themselves with as much material on this subject because every church has a person that is into porn and masturbation. The size of the church doesn’t matter. And the reputation of the church doesn’t matter. Just because something looks holy and sound holy is not excluded.

Mega, mid-sized, and store front churches all have some measure of men involved in sexual immorality, porn and masturbation.

If the pastor knows everything and what every man is doing sexually, this statement wouldn’t be as bold. Even I, in a small storefront church with only 9 men as members in Brooklyn, NY, would never take it for granted. Men are capable of falling into Secret Sexual Sins no matter how much I preach on this subject.

Having said this, many women will express exasperation over her husband’s porn and masturbation addictions.

If her husband is willing to sit with a pastor, a pastor must be clean, holy, and pure before God. He must ask pointed questions to get at the heart of the issue. He must be prepared with as much information as possible. It will not take one night of pouring oil and laying on of hands. It will take a great deal of dealing with the mind of a man bent on keeping his perversion.

The wife must be supportive and prayerful. She must be patient because his addiction didn’t happen over night.

Finally, the pastor should ask that man to answer 40 questions. This will help the pastor to ascertain the depths of her husband’s porn and masturbation involvement. Many of you reading this will not agree with this and the questions. However, every person has a different approach to dealing with porn and masturbation.

Sexuality Questionare

1. Do you know Jesus as your Lord & Savior?

2. Do you love your wife and your children, if any?

3. How often do you attend church with your family?

4. How often do you read your Bible and pray?

5. Do you know that your wife loves you and how does she express her love for you (she says that she loves you)?

6. How often do you look at movies with sexual content?

7. Do you look forward to looking at movies with sexual content?

8. Does the magazine stand with sexually provocative pictures, TV commercials, Internet news and weather stories with sexually attractive women stimulate you to watch porn and masturbate when you get home?

9. Do you consider yourself an introvert (isolated) or are you very social?

10. Do you believe that porn and masturbation is a sin? Why or why not?

11. Do you believe that looking at another woman sexually is a sin? Why or why not?

12. Do you believe in marriage and monogamy? Why or why not?

13. How often do you and your wife experience sexual intimacy?

14. Are you still sexually attracted to your wife?

15. Does your wife satisfy you sexually?

16. Do you share your sexual preferences (reasonably mutual sex positions and sex acts), and does she share her sexual preferences with you to please each other in the bedroom?

17. What emotions and attitudes does your wife possess that turn you away from her? (loud, boisterous, combative, confrontational, overbearing, headstrong, mean spirited).

18. Does she ask questions for information or does it turn into an inquisition?

19. How often do you and your wife argue, and over what specific issue(s)?

20. Do you watch porn and masturbate? And if so, how often?

21. Are you into drugs and alcohol, or any other substance?

22. If involved, describe such involvement. Occasionally, moderate to heavy addiction?

23. When you are not sexually satisfied (orgasm), do you masturbate to achieve sexual satisfaction?

24. At what age were you exposed to watching porn?

25. At what age did you start touching yourself sexually?

26. Were you ever molested or sexually assaulted?

27. Is any thing preventing you from having sexual intimacy with your wife regularly?

28. Do you have any medical conditions (such as ED erectile dysfunction) that may prevent you from sexual performance with your wife?

29. In the morning and at night, do you touch yourself sexually when an erection occurs?

30. Have you ever committed adultery or solicited a prostitute?

31. What keeps you interested in watching porn?

32. Does sadness, depression, worry, fear, pain in the soul, anger, loneliness, hunger, fatigue, job satisfaction or job dissatisfaction, job or marriage pressures, marriage dissatisfaction, discouragement, or money issues trigger the desire to watch porn and masturbate?

33. Do you and your wife resolve the issue(s) before going to bed?

34. Have you seriously considered getting help to stop watching porn and masturbation?

35. Have you seriously considered understanding the true facts behind pornography and masturbation?

36. Have you ever considered the fact that if you have children, your son might eventually be exposed to your porn and masturbation habits?

37. Have you ever considered the possibility that if you have a daughter, she might be kidnapped for the sex trade, kidnapped for child porn or molestation, or grow up to be a porn star, or get married to a man with porn and masturbation habits like you?

38. How often have you called it quits to porn and masturbation and return to committing these acts?

39. Have you ever been so mad at yourself for watching porn and masturbating that you’ve considered doing harm to yourself?

40. Do you want to be free?

Pastors, feel free to use these questions because you will need them.

But make sure that you are free from porn and masturbation yourself. You can’t help a man out of a burning building if you are burning in the same building.

What To Do When Jesus Is Watching Porn With You

There are many professed believers that watch porn. Few would be willing enough to confess that Jesus is there, watching porn with them.

To them, as it was with me, we’ve completely ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus is watching what we were watching. Some consider this to be a joke but when you look at several verses of Scripture, we see that the Lord is there with us, watching what we are watching.

Therefore, it is not a joke.

We who claim to be in Christ and Christ is in us, know for a fact that the Lord is present.

Every time I watched porn and masturbated, the Lord was right there. You can know that He was disgusted with the performance of sexual sin in my life.

In fact, at one point, He was so angry, that while I was watching porn and masturbating a few years ago, He said to me, “You could be watching your own daughter.” 

Sadly, that didn’t shake me up to stop. I suppressed the truth in unrighteousness. But what He said to me stayed with me until December, 2008.

After receiving a much needed miracle, I went back to old habits.

While watching porn and masturbating, the Lord said to me, “Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”

That’s when I knew it had to end or else.

At that moment, the fear or being very afraid of loosing it all became very apparent.

If I refused and rebelled, I would be devoured.

The fear of God taking away that much needed miracle, let alone, the fact that dying in sin would place me in a position of jeopardizing my salvation. It’s a scary thing to die in sin. The Bible tells us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” and “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

Many have taught the fear of the Lord with one definition in mind.

“Reverential fear.” 

But in the definition, many have left out this definition. “The dread…”

We have forgotten how to be very afraid of the God of heaven and earth. So much so that sin becomes easy to commit because we are not afraid of God. We have convoluted our minds and erected another kind of god that we want who would look the other way when we sin. Gives us permission to sin based on the warped reasons behind what we do.

We say things like…….God, you understand me. You know my heart.”

Yes, God knows that our “…heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Jeremiah 17:9

We say things like…… God, you know I can’t do without extra curricular releasing sexual tension.”

Yes, God knows that “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (no human waste) but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

This is how the devil gets us.

We watch certain TV shows that lead us from minor lewd stuff, to salacious shows that trigger lust in our flesh, to soft and then hard core porn.

Some of the shows that are being watched today is just a door to porn. As soon as the show on the national network goes to a hot sexy steaming episode and then fade to black, you know that this isn’t enough.

You take it to the next level.

PPV porn.

Internet porn.

Or even worse. You search for a prostitute, or you are involved with an immoral woman in adultery. If you are single, you are probably fornicating or having illegal sex outside of marriage.

There is no question in my mind that you know that the Lord is watching.

But here are a few Scriptures to remind you.

2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”

Ezekiel 8:12 “Then He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken the land.’”

Psalm 139:7-12 “Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

It is true that these Scriptures will not deter a man or woman bent on watching porn.

Sickness and disease will not deter an immoral man or woman from sexual immorality.

Getting caught is not of concern for the sexually immoral people because what is more important is achieving the goal of covetousness, which is idolatry (see Colossians 3:5). The goal of covetousness is to “get off.” 

That’s why immoral men and women “suppress the truth in unrighteousness…”

Sexually immoral men and women suppress the truth in unrighteousness because they want to continue in sin, thus, remaining in their bondage.

Yes, and Jesus is there. Watching it all. It’s all being recorded in a book. Every sinful thought, every sinful word, and every evil deed. Everything is being recorded, only to be revealed later in the day of judgment. To be used against you when you stand before the Lord on the day of judgment.

Romans 14:5-10-12 “For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the Lord, Every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”

This judgment is for believers, not for sinners.

2 Corinthians 5:10-11 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.”

As a believer, you and I have no business watching porn.

But just in case you believe that Jesus isn’t watching, you do not have to look over your shoulder. God knows how to be present and walk away from you at the same time.

For believers, we all have a chance to repent and get it right before we are judged.

This is where taking communion is potentially lethal.

1 Corinthians 11:27-32 “Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.

For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”

Verse 30 of The Amplified Bible says this….That [careless and unworthy participation] is the reason many of you are weak and sickly, and quite enough of you have fallen into the sleep of death.”

So what will it take for you to stop sinning?

What will it take for you to know that the Lord is watching everything that we do and recording it. To be used against us on the day of judgment for believers.

For sinners, it’s worse.

From the Amplified Bible again….Revelation 21:8.

“But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the contemptible and the cravenly lacking in courage and the cowardly submissive, and as for the unbelieving and faithless, and as for the depraved and defiled with abominations, and as for murderers and the lewd and adulterous and the practicers of magic arts and the idolaters (those who give supreme devotion to anyone or anything other than God) and all liars (those who knowingly convey untruth by word or deed) — [all of these shall have] their part in the lake that blazes with fire and brimstone. This is the second death…”

So what do you do when Jesus is watching porn with you?

You already know the answer but many of you will not follow through.

Many of you will continue to profess to love the Lord but you love porn more.

Many of you will cry in hopelessness, get through that moment of relapse and cry tears in remorse.

Many of you will get over that moment of remorse and make provision to fulfill the lust in your heart, mind, and body, all over again.

I’ve been there.

Wondering if I would ever break free of porn and masturbation. Wondering if the Lord loved me. Wondering if God would forgive me.

Wondering if after all the frustration and disappointments in myself, that I would ever be worthy of His grace.

The ball is in your court.

What you do next will determine whether you remain in the house of bondage, or walk through the open prison door.

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