Pretend Sex

Charisma wrote a good article about the affects of porn which could be read here…

In the article, there were many good points but the point that many of these kinds of articles leave out, perhaps, intentionally, is the habit of masturbation.

Masturbation is pretend sex.

Depending on the urges and impulses of the human, and the preference of porn, whether same sex or opposite sex, there is no way possible to extricate porn from masturbation.

Granted, a man could masturbate without porn but we all know that porn heightens the mood to act out sexually. It’s called mental stimuli.” The mind wants it’s sexual time too. The soul is always looking for pleasure and the further it looks into that satisfaction, the more depraved a person becomes. Except within the boundaries of two loving, caring, opposite sexed married persons. 

Got to qualify these things these days.

Remember Proverbs 27:20?

“Hell and destruction are never full, so the eyes of a man are never satisfied.”

As a note, a known former porn producer said that the last frontier of porn is children.



In one instance, a man sexually assaulted a toddler.

A baby.

Depravity knows no boundaries or limits. When you say that you would never cross a line, in reality, that’s a statement of preparatory intent.

There are many that will argue about masturbation. And it ranges from “nothing said in the Bible.” to “Boy’s will be boys.”

Biblical inferences would be shot down in a heartbeat.

But what are the three things common with all masturbation?

1. Hands.

2. Eyes.

3. Thoughts- images self generated or film (still or motion) produced.

Remember when Jesus said….

“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you…if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you?”

Then the Lord Jesus said this in Matthew 15:19…

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts….

The Amplified Bible says….

“For out of the heart come evil thoughts (reasonings and disputings and designs) such as murder, adultery, sexual vice…”

So out of the dark heart of man comes the thoughts to carry out sin. It is transferred to the mind and the body acts out what is thought of.

Without hands, there are numerous ways to achieve orgasm, but sex, according to Genesis 2:24, is to be shared with an opposite partner that you are married to.

The reason why I am mentioning this is that we all know the ill affects of porn but when we do not zero in on what happens when men or women watch porn, we are just circling the covered wagons and never actually make an assault on the problem.

I will not take the time to talk about all of the reasons why masturbation is against the “one flesh” principle in Genesis 2:24. I thoroughly covered the subject in many previously written blogs and on

Sexual addiction rituals predominantly end in orgasm. That’s the goal, right?

To finish.

To finish what you started.

Now God created sex and sex is pleasurable. It’s the only activity that give pleasure with a serious face. But seriously. People are in bondage or enslaved to the urges and impulses of the flesh and mind.

And if we do not get into that place of utilizing as Dr. Mark Laaser puts is so powerfully, act out sexually in healthy meaningful ways, we run the risk of entrenching ourselves and never get the quality help to break sexual addiction cycles.

When you cannot control, manage, or stop sex, you might be addicted.

These three elements indicate that you are not permitting your urges and impulses to gain control over your life. In other words, you know what these urges and impulses look like and you recognize what you need to do to reduce it’s potency and power so that you are not driven by it.

Can you do without sex?

This is a very powerful question because if you cannot do without it, the disciplining process will never kick in.

Sex, as well as anything made on this planet is a servant. There is only One Lord God.

When you serve sex, you dethrone God. Additionally, you are also worshipping or at the very least, using the members of your body as an instrument to fulfill sexual needs. But what else are you doing? You may be hurting inside and you are using masturbation to heal deep seated wounds in the soul that only God, through His Word could heal. Masturbation and the process of euphoric sex sometimes is used as “medicinal properties” like being in a “Pharmaceutical.” 

Yes, a person could become chemically addicted to the releasing of internal chemicals to the blood stream.

Perhaps, you are looking to reward yourself with sex for a job well done?

These needs are connected to how you are emotionally. When you cannot control your emotions, sometime you go down the path to fill the holes of love, self worth, value, esteem, and other emotions that is a part of your make up.

But all these are clear indications that you are out of fellowship with God and His Word.

Self intimacy issues reveal a lack of being intimate with God.

The late Dr. Ed Cole, the progenitor of the modern day Christian Men’s Network said,

“Prayer produces intimacy with God.”

All intimacy issues stem from one place. A lack of fellowship with God. No matter how many times you look at it, all you need to do is go to one place where man is lacking.

True fellowship with God.

To strive against sin with blood, as Hebrews 12:4 says, means that you didn’t pluck your right eye out, you didn’t cut your right hand off. Figuratively speaking of course. You didn’t do something radical enough to get you to stop. That’s what Jesus meant and that’s what must be done if you are going to break free of masturbation.

Whenever we look for common excuses to masturbate, you are not serious enough about pleasing the Lord in every way.

So my point today, is simple. If we are going to break an enslaving habit, talking about the ill affects of porn is not enough. We need to go deeper. We need to uncover what we do in secret, delve into some reasons that lead us to the source as to why we masturbate, and then look to apply the remedy of the Scriptures to finally break free.

Otherwise, talking about porn is basically a mute point.

Author: The Minister's Crucible

The Minister's Crucible is designed to inform the Body of Christ about the inner workings of the ministry. The word Crucible from Latin, is "crux" where we get the word "cross" from. It also means a "metal container" where metals and other substances are melted or are subjected to higher temperatures, put to the temperature test. The Lord Jesus said "If any man desires to follow after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." Let's take up our cross and follow Him.

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