Screwing A Choir Member, Praise Dancer, Church Secretary, And Gay/Bisexual Music Ministers

You hear story after story about straight Music Ministers watching porn, masturbating, screwing choir members, praise and worship singers, or praise dancers. You see gay music ministers lusting after young males and boys in the church.

When will we see pastors take a stand and fire these musicians and then offer them help from the bondages of Secret Sexual Sins?

Is music that important over holiness and pleasing God?

And then when we don’t take action against these sinful acts, these sinful music ministers exercise their ungodly influence to make it seems as if you can’t make it without them. They hold the church hostage with “their gifts and talents” and the church erodes further into the dungeon of darkness and Secret Sexual Sins.

Another thing that is happening is that you see slick talking “prophets” lusting after young boys so they could make them “armor bearers.”

You see this every Sunday. Pastors screwing church secretaries or young hot girls. The church is overrun with lust and it doesn’t look like it’s about to abate.

And we wonder why the homosexual community is successful in establishing alternative churches in the very community where light is to be shed. And they are filling up rapidly. Transvestites, trans-gender humans, and people with lascivious lifestyles that cannot bridle their “animal impulses.” They are abandoning real authentic Christianity standards to have church and sin at the same time.

They are walking in such delusion that if you were to have a conversation with them, they will tell you that the Bible is outdated, wrongly translated, and we who walk in the truth are the ones that is deceived, lost, and going to hell because we do not walk in love or tolerate their sins.

I’m beginning to realize that it’s not just the gay issue that is affecting the church. It’s the entire sexual immorality atmosphere that invaded the church and we do not have a clue as to the ramifications of our inability to reign in second and third tier leadership when Secret Sexual Sins is unchecked in the church.

People burning with lust for same and opposite sex.

We have gone absolutely in the opposite direction of righteousness. We no longer have right standing and right relationship with the Lord because we are in wrong relationship with the Lord.

The root cause is what is really happening in the private lives of people that claim to be Christian.

You have real Christians and you have fake Christians.

Either be real or stay fake.

Then you have bisexual pastors, music ministers, and singers. They play both sides of the fence. They try to play with that “religious fervor” then after service is over, it’s back to business as usual. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.

In the late 1970’s, early 80’s, there were two gay musicians at Zion Baptist Church. As a teen, I really didn’t know what a homosexual person was, but on two occasions, I was propositioned to meet with one of the musicians at his house. Obviously, I knew not to go because of the way he “look/lusted” at me. Like men checking out women, front and back, up and down, same sex attracted men would do the same while looking at other men.

I’m not trying to arouse anyone. I’m just stating the obvious facts.

I didn’t help matters any because after church, I would go home, come out of my church clothes, and dress in shorts to go play basketball. As I would cross the street, that’s when he would propositioned me but I kept on going.

In the opposite direction.

Both of these musicians died.

Chances are, they died of unconfirmed AIDS related illnesses.

Over time, I began to see that this was their way of communicating to you that they want to have Secret Sexual Sins.

The proposition is eye contact as well as their seductive words of intent to see if you knew exactly what they meant. Now get this. This is right after church. Right after the Lord moved and people got saved during service. And all of a sudden you get caught up in the lusts of the flesh.

Fast forward to today and you will see that it is no longer eye contact and signals. It is now communicated with clear intent during service. They no longer wait until after service to make their intent clear. Or they come right from the bedroom, same and opposite Secret Sexual Sinners to lift up unholy hands before God.

The highest form of human depraved behavior is same sex. Remember, perversion in any form is demonic. In manifesting perversion on this level, only reveals that satan himself is perversion at its apex.

The next level is beyond humans where bestiality takes place.

Dr. Michael Brown made a very powerful statement. If we are repulsed at men (catamites) having sex with boys, should we be any less repulsed when two men have sex?

Then the perversion is brought right into the church during praise and worship as they play on the instruments. Performance covering perversion.

God help us.

Listen to what Peter said in 2 Peter 2:12-16,

“But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption, and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness; but he was rebuked for his iniquity: a dumb donkey speaking with a man’s voice restrained the madness of the prophet.”

These are people inside the church and rogue believers at that. When you correct them, they want to correct you. They sit there, knowing that they are in Secret Sexual Sins, and they have the nerve and audacity to continue in sin that grace may abound. The sad thing is that they don’t go elsewhere to continue in sin. They sit right there in the place of righteousness to thumb their nose at God and you in unrighteousness.

Listen to the Spirit of the Lord through Peter again in 2 Peter 2:7-9.

“…and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds) — then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment, and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority.

Read the underline. It underscores exactly what is happening in the church.

When a pastor brings a word of correction, all of a sudden, after service, they get into their cars and they say, “I don’t agree with what the pastor said.” Now mind you. The pastor was preaching the Word of God, line upon line precept upon precept about porn and self gratification. About abstaining from Secret Sexual Sin and you do not agree?

They “speak evil of the things they do not understand…those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority.”

Have you ever walked in to the church service feeling oppressed? Feeling tormented? And somehow, you sense, not only sense but you know that people are despising authority? The only time authority is despised is when their sins are brought out before others in the open. We forget that when we sin in secret, like David, our judgment will be seen in the open, noon day sun for all to see.

If you thought that Adam and Eve were embarrassed when they knew they were naked after they sinned, was something. You haven’t seen the embarrassment that’s coming for you if you are thumbing your nose at God and bringing your Secret Sexual Sins to church during praise and worship.

The root cause could be sexual immorality.

And the problem is that the pastor and people in the church don’t really mind.

Pastors don’t want to “rock the boat” because if you start addressing the issues, the choir can’t sing. You have to hire another musician. And God help us all if the pastor has to step down because of an “indiscretion.”

In one segment of “Gay Christian Movement Watch,” there was a Scripture that was used that blew my mind and really articulated the current state of the church.

“Then He said to me, “ Son of man, lift your eyes now toward the north.” So I lifted my eyes toward the north, and there, north of the altar gate, was this image of jealousy in the entrance. Furthermore He said to me, “ Son of man, do you see what they are doing, the great abominations that the house of Israel commits here, to make Me go far away from My sanctuary? Now turn again, you will see greater abominations.” So He brought me to the door of the court; and when I looked, there was a hole in the wall. Then He said to me, “ Son of man, dig into the wall”; and when I dug into the wall, there was a door. And He said to me, “Go in, and see the wicked abominations which they are doing there.” So I went in and saw, and there —every sort of creeping thing, abominable beasts, and all the idols of the house of Israel, portrayed all around on the walls. And there stood before them seventy men of the elders of the house of Israel, and in their midst stood Jaazaniah the son of Shaphan. Each man had a censer in his hand, and a thick cloud of incense went up. Then He said to me, “ Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken the land. ’” And He said to me, “ Turn again, and you will see greater abominations that they are doing.” So He brought me to the door of the north gate of the Lord’s house; and to my dismay, women were sitting there weeping for Tammuz. Then He said to me, “Have you seen this, O son of man? Turn again, you will see greater abominations than these.” So He brought me into the inner court of the Lord ‘s house; and there, at the door of the temple of the Lord, between the porch and the altar, were about twenty- five men with their backs toward the temple of the Lord and their faces toward the east, and they were worshiping the sun toward the east. And He said to me, “Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial thing to the house of Judah to commit the abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose. Therefore I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in My ears with a loud voice, I will not hear them.”

In most commentaries, I took note of the fact that when you see the part where the Lord said, “Indeed they have put the branch to their nose,” it is equivalent to THUMBING YOUR NOSE AT GOD!

And that’s what we see in the church. An escalation of abominable practices that reaches its apex.


For some reason, we fail to make the corrections because if we lose the people, we lose the money, we lose the church, and we don’t want to do that. We want to be “positive, upbeat, leave with a good feeling.”

All the while, the Lord Jesus gathers all of heaven to pray for your local church because He ever lives to make intercession for us. Yes, Jesus is praying specifically for you to turn from your wicked “Eli” ways. Eli failed to correct his sons and the ark was taken.

The presence of the Lord may not be in the house like you think. You might be feeling good, but deep down you know that Secret Sexual Sins is running rampant in the house of the Lord that has now turned into the house of abomination.

The church need to stop bringing fruit to offer before the Lord because God brought the Lamb.

The church had grown accustomed to bringing before the Lord a “Cain” offering when God requires a Lamb sacrifice. God didn’t ask for fruit because if He were hungry, He wouldn’t tell you.

Man is always trying to substitute and then shove it before the face of God in defiance.

God demanded a Lamb.

How dare you bring Him something He didn’t ask for?

Bring a sacrifice. Not fruit. Stop making God change when it is impossible for Him to change. Stop trying to re-write the Bible when the Word of God cannot be altered. God extended His scepter of righteousness to those that bow before His throne. Only they can approach. God has spoken and you cannot alter it. God placed His eternal seal on the Word of God and there is no way possible for Him to change His mind. Otherwise, He would be a liar and a cheater just like you.

The job of the church is to live and preach righteousness according to the Word of God. Sinners are supposed to come to church. They are more than welcome to sit and hear the Word of God, but the line is drawn when they want to bring their sins into places of leadership. When the quality of our walk with God increase to the level of righteousness and true holiness, exhibiting the freedom we have in Christ from all Secret Sexual Sins, we will have a chance to liberate others bound by the spirit of delusion and lust.

The sanctifying and washing in the church, to prepare the church for the coming of the Lord according to Ephesians 5:26-27 is underway.

This is the Word of the Lord and the former and latter rain wave of the Spirit for this successive age.

Will you be ready?

To listen to our groundbreaking series Secret Sexual Sins, please click this link

Secret Sexual Sins: Becoming An SWO – Special Warfare Operator

If you look very closely at the ministry of Jesus, it doesn’t look like the kind of conflict that modern day “prayer warriors” purport. Do not misunderstand me, there is spiritual warfare but we are engaging in one theater and leaving the other theater wide open and defenseless.

We have no idea of what the Lord Jesus specifically prayed when He went to the mountains to pray. The Lord’s Prayer and Jesus’ High Priestly Prayer is about as close as we will get to seeing what the prayer life of the Lord Jesus was.

When Jesus was praying for Peter, we see that the Lord Himself interceded on Peter’s behalf that his faith would fail not, and that when he is converted, he is to strengthen his brothers.

There is no question that a wide range of praying must be employed for God to move in the behalf of those whose hearts are loyal to Him. There is no question that demons are assigned to disrupt, interrupt, and stop the plan of God from being executed in the earth. There is no question that as long as saints do not pray, the forces of darkness take advantage of our prayerlessness and execute their plan to steal, kill, and destroy man.

There is no question that the devil and his kingdom is organized and will not let up until we are dead.

In listening to a powerful man of God, Elder Raymond King, of Securing Hope Ministry, the homosexual community, in the 1990’s, stated in a book that they will wait out the deaths of prominent moral Christian leaders to execute their agenda.

So far, it is happening like clock work.

As prominent moral Christian leaders have left the scene, we are seeing a serious vacuum of moral leaders. Instead, we are seeing a high volume of assassinations of high profile Christian leaders, predominantly because of Secret Sexual Sins and we are seeing rogue leaders assume positions to replace them as immoral leaders of our times.

We are under attack in the plains of MOAB, and we refuse to acknowledge it.

You are watching leaders die on the battlefield faster than at any time. One by one, because of a lack of self discipline and recognizing the plan and devices of the devil, this plan has taken out many leaders and the saints become casualties as well.

More than ever, we have more casualties and we are watching saints fall, left and right.

I’ve never experienced the experience of combat on the battlefield or while at sea in the natural. Having served in the Navy for four years, I was blessed not to go into harm’s way. Years ago, an admiral said that if you are going to be a world power, you must project sea power. The concept is simply called “global reach.”

If you cannot reach your enemy before they reach you, you will be destroyed.

Global reach is a combination of shore assets in strategic “kick off” locations or ships deployed at sea on a rotation basis so as to keep your presence within striking range to engage in politics by force without using land assets until it’s necessary.

No person that has ever served and have seen the carnage of casualties desire individuals to engage in politics by force. The loss of life is expensive.

War is simply the use of force to compel your enemy to submit to your will.

Very few believers in the spirit realm realize that we are constantly engaged in a battle.

It is called the battle of wills.

Another way of putting it is that it is a test of wills.

When the fallen adversary called Lucifer decided to engage in “politics by force,” heaven experienced sin, treason, betrayal, and assault.

God and His throne was the target objective.

As with most military conflict, you need, in some cases, stealth or the “element of surprise”, superior numbers, and the will to see the conflict through to victory. You also need logistics or resources before, during, and after the conflict. At the conclusion of the assault and conflict, you need to set up your kingdom and begin to rule.

Most motives for war is about the need to rule a vast kingdom and getting subjects to submit to your will. If they refuse, they are declared rebels and must be removed by containment or execution. That last thing that you need is to be overthrown.

To keep your subjects in control, an array of psychological tools are used however, these tools express the two objectives mentioned above.

Containment or execution.

To get to the throne of God, the devil had to get passed the angels that remained loyal to the Lord. The devil never made it to the throne. In essence, the revolt wasn’t a success because the objective wasn’t achieved.

All you have to do is read Isaiah 14:12-17, Ezekiel 28:12-19, and Revelation 12:4, 7-9, and you will see exactly what the Bible is saying.

The earth has been the battleground and death is everywhere because the devil still has a twofold objective. The removal of God from His throne and the containment or execution of God’s creation. After being thrown out of heaven, the first objective will never be achieved.

However, the containment and execution part of the devil’s plan is being carried out with precision.

But thank God that the Lord is never caught off guard. The Lord always causes us to triumph through Christ. No weapon formed against us shall prosper.

The Lord is not looking to raise up individuals to become national leaders.

That day is over.

He is now using SWO or Special Warfare Operators in the church on an unclassified mission.



To confront the sins of our times in the church, we must be non condemning but brutally honest about the activities in the church and in our own lives. The objective is not to condemn the individual but to condemn the seducing spirit and doctrine of demons that presently is going unchecked in the church.

This mission is dangerous because you have to be prepared to put your life on the table.

That means talking about your Secret Sexual Sins. If any sins are present, you must repent and have your sins washed by the blood of Jesus. If you are not prepared to put your sins on the table, you are disqualified from this unit. You will not make it if you cannot Come Clean and Stay Clean.

This is a high intensity conflict that will project power in places where people are hurting and desire to be free. This conflict is not about building a reputation. This is as serious as it gets. If you are not willing to expose your life and your sins to free others, you are not qualified to serve. If you are not willing to accept the truth of the Scriptures and receive truth in the hidden parts of your life, you are not qualified to serve.

If you cannot live holy, sanctified, righteous lives with the help of the grace of God, you are not qualified to serve. If you are not on your face to serve the Lord in prayer and ministry of the Word in this area, you are not qualified to serve.

If your loyalty to the Lord is questionable, you are not qualified to serve.

Where do you sign up?

You already did when you made Jesus Lord and Savior of your life!

Now it’s time to get you up to speed.

Just go back to the home page and click the links about Sexual Addiction Recovery to get started.

Welcome Aboard!

Carnal Christian Women Lust Too!

You’re standing there and you know she gave you a quick glance. Then another one gives you eye contact. You are not seeing things. Too often, we think that it’s just the men that have this lust problem. Women do too. Only women look for companionship, love, acceptance, and connection. While women do think about sex, it is true that they think about sex less often than men. But there is no question that women love sex and romance.

And you know I’m preaching right.

However, when it comes to women, the majority of them are a little more discrete. The peripheral or quick glance. For the most part, most women do not have that intent but when it comes to going “out on the town,” they are in passive hunt mode.

What about passive hunting in church?

The play ground may be different, but sometimes the objective is the same.

It’s true.

Then there are the ones that will let you know that they are looking.

It’s the law of attraction but it is also the law of sin and death.

It is true that the church is a place where many women go. In fact, it is certain that men will be outnumbered in every church you attend. I must admit, that the majority of women that do go to church, go for the right reason. They are more aware of the presence of the Lord and honor God and His Word. However, every now and then, some of them slip up just like the men do.

Ladies, you are to be just as disciplined with your eyes.

Remember Potiphar’s wife?

It appears that she had an eye for Joseph.

In Genesis 39 and verse 6, the latter portion, the Word says,

“Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.”

The word “form” is the Hebrew word “to’ar,” and it means “shape, form, outline, figure, appearance.” 


The man was built.

It appears that Potiphar’s wife was neglected, for whatever reason. Leads me to believe that she was “burning.”

We all know that singles burn more than married women but here, when you see a married woman desiring sex from another man, sometimes, it’s because of sexual neglect. It is known that when married women feel that they need more sex to feel connected, to cross the line to engage in extra-marital affairs to satisfy those needs, may be an indication of an imbalance in the person.

This may be a form of sexual addiction to fulfill connection needs. As warped as it may seem, some women will offer their bodies to have that need met. In other words, exchange one (her body) for the other (connection).

In comes someone that looks younger and better than her husband.

Verse 7 says,

“And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “ Lie with me.”

In desperation, she doesn’t wait for Joseph to make any move. No play from Joseph. The first move came from Potiphar’s wife.

Unusual, but not unusual.

It’s the same in some churches. There are some women that will make the first move on a married pastor. Sadly, there are some married pastors that will yield the first time someone gives an offer.


Notice what the New English Translation says,

“Now Joseph was well built and good-looking. Soon after these things, his masters wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Have sex with me.”

Joseph had the right idea and didn’t want to disrespect Potiphar.

She was persistent because every day, she pestered Joseph.

It leads me to believe, and I could be wrong, that she was sexually neglected by her husband. This is the case in many churches. For whatever reason, there are married women that are neglected by their husbands at home and they look to connect with the “mand of Gawd.”

This is not everywhere, happening with everybody.

Let’s be clear.

However, it does happen.

To deny that this doesn’t happen is not being truthful about a growing problem of Secret Sexual Sins in the church.

1 in 6 women watch porn. 1 in 3 women will act out. In other words, they will shift from the chat room to the bedroom to connect with these men.

I am reminded of a story of a woman that went on the Internet while her husband went to sleep. She engaged with this man in the chat room. She finally agreed to meet with this man in Texas. She flew down there and they got a hotel room, and had sex. Prior to this rendezvous, she was seeing a sex therapist. After the sex, she was beaten into a coma. Her husband put out a missing person report. When she came to, she called her therapist and said that she now admits to having problem.

I don’t know about you, but this is a worse case situation that could have ended up much worse.

Then it dawned on me. It appears that there was no connection with the husband and wife and she may have found someone in the chat room that “understood” her. Perhaps the man listened and gave the kind of caring, loving, and understanding responses that she didn’t get from her husband and the stranger was rewarded with the use of her body.

Is this making any kind of sense? No! It doesn’t make sense.

As I was watching a show, there was a lady that was married. She and her husband were unable to have a child and she hasn’t had an orgasm with her husband during the process. Somehow, this woman met another married man that was disgruntled in his relationship with his wife. They met each to her and entered an adulterous relationship. On the first night she was able to have an orgasm. Don’t concentrate so much on the sex and orgasm. What she really wanted was for a man to understand her and he provided that for her. As a result she was able to release all of the tension, including sexual tension once she felt that she was understood.

Sometimes when a husband fails to understand his wife, the woman will shut down completely until she is clear in her mind that she is understood.

It’s probably the same with Potiphar’s wife. She may have had sex with her husband but she wasn’t understood as a person. When Joseph came on the scene, a couple of things could have taken place if the adultery took place.

Disrespect the husband by having another man to get her husband to be jealous so that she could final get him to understand her. Lust in the heart to fulfill a sexual fantasy.

It doesn’t matter if a man of God is married or not. If she is intent on stealing a married man or try to get “noticed” by a single pastor, it is a clear recipe for disaster.

Ladies, you have no business attempting to steal a married man, pastor or not.

You do not have to be a home wrecker.

That same man that yielded to you in the bedroom, it could happen to you according to Galatians 6:7-8. Another woman could come and steal him away from your heart, no matter what you offered.

The sin of adultery is not a game. It is for keeps. The devil will use your loneliness, bitterness, emotional imbalance, and other issues to destroy you and bring shame to you.

For the most part, women are a little more disciplined than men because they do not want the shame and stigma that goes with being a home wrecker.

But just in case, here is four recommended things that you might want to consider doing to maintain sexual purity in your walk before the Lord.

1. Submit and Resist

The only safety you have is the Word of God and strict obedience.

James 4:7 says,

“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

The Amplified Bible says,

“So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you.”

We all know that it is tough out there for women. The competition is very, very steep. Single women are victimized daily. Males are not stepping up to the plate and committing to relationship and marriage. That’s why in some places, there is some form of desperation, and male pastors take advantage of the emotion state of women.

While this is a whole new ballgame, single males make it very difficult for single women.

Males are not preparing themselves for marriage. They are ready for the bedroom but they are not ready for the relationship. That’s why women need to just shut it down and not give a man sex. They have to be forced into realizing that the currency of sex is relationship.

That means males have to learn how to properly relate with the opposite sex. Males have to learn how to treat women with love, affection, romance, and respect. At the same time, women need not lead a man on by offering body parts. You do not have to walk into church and look like the menu of KFC.

Seduction drives a man to do crazy things. Seduction will draw his attention but after the window dressing and he has his way with you in bed, what is there left? No relationship.

They way you dress and act may be the wrong signal and message you are sending.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some women that do dress provocatively and you know it. However, a woman could be wearing something discreet and men will still perceive it as provocative. So the blame is not to be placed squarely in the women, and rightfully so.

2. Draw Wisdom From Seasoned Elderly Ladies

You need to sit and talk, not with a male pastor, but with a seasoned elder lady. There are many seasoned elderly ladies to talk to about life issues. It is important to maintain charity in the hour we are living in.

Sometimes, there is more to issues than just sex and love. While these things is important because that’s life in marriage, there may be other interconnected issues that need to be brought out. Perhaps there is a reason why your husband isn’t responding to you. There may be some things that you may be doing that may be actual reasons why you are experiencing disconnection with your husband.

3. Keep You Mind Holy

It’s the same with men. Dr. Archibald Hart, author of The Sexual Man once said that if you could preoccupy the mind for 15 minutes on other topics other than sex, you could disengage sexual thoughts. Meditating on the Word according to Joshua 1:8 is the key.

Find something to do other than the chat room. Get up and go outside for a walk. Go shopping. Go for a drive. Disengage your lonely feelings and get into the presence of the Lord. Fast, pray, find a partner to talk about the Word of God.

Do everything that you can to disengage sexual thoughts by keeping your mind stayed on Him (see Isaiah 26:3-4).

4. Stay Away From Disgruntled Women

There are a lot of women that is bitter against married women. It is important to point this out because there is more anger and frustration against married women than ever before. To sit around and simmer about what married women have is only making the situation worse.

This further brings the forces of darkness against you to keep you from your man. Besides, the Lord honors faith, not foolishness. The one thing that you do not need to do is keep the bitterness of the devil alive in your heart and mind. When the Hannah’s of the church show up, they will go to the place of prayer and voice their request to the Lord and God will respond. He will remember. As long as you sit around with bitterness and sit with other women that are equally as bitter as you, you are building a stronghold for the devil to keep the blessing of the Lord out of your life.

Freedom comes when you walk away from that group and seek the face of the Lord in faith. God will always honor His Word and not your bitterness.

Some will say, “But pastor, you don’t know!” Yes I do, to a certain extent. 

I got married in 1982 while I was in the Navy. Later that year, a 6 month MED-IO (Mediterranean/Indian Ocean) cruise was coming up where I had to be detached from my wife for 6 months. My wife was telling me of the things she had to do to keep her mind off of sex until I got home.

I may not understand it from a man’s perspective, but when my wife told me her side, I understand that the struggle is extremely intense.

Looking to connect with another man in adultery is not the answer.

And for God’s sake, stop lusting after your married or single pastor. He will not help you but harm you in the bedroom.

Like most married people, there is always something to struggle about but you do not have to walk in the flesh and jeopardize the work of the Lord just to have sex. The church already has a bad reputation. We need not further damage the church, your life, and the wife of a pastor.

Lust or desiring for that which is forbidden is only a trait of the devil.

As a child of the Most High God, and as a woman, you were created by God to be His habitation.

Please listen to our groundbreaking series, Secret Sexual Sins by clicking this link

Pastor’s Wives; Husband Caught Looking At Another Woman

Here you are, in your car and a woman walks by. You notice out of the corner of your eye that your pastor husband is checking her out. You think nothing of it. But another one walks by and he does the same thing. Only this time, he seems to be enjoying the “movement” and quickly catches out of the corner of his eye that you were looking at him.


Red handed!

What can you do to get him to stop looking at other women?

Usually, it’s a clear indication that pastor/husband may have Secret Sexual Sins going on in his life. What a man does in the privacy of his life is to be exposed. Porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation may also be in play here.

The objectification of women is the filing of a woman in the mind of man to “ponder” over the image later. Or it may drive him to the Internet or other media forms to satisfy the curiosity of the flesh and the mind.

First, here is some information that you need that you may already be aware of. If not, take the time to read and comprehend the world of men.

Job 31:1 (WEB)

“I made a covenant with my eyes, How then should I look lustfully at a young woman?

What the eyes observe is a revelation of the kind of heart a man has. What a person takes in and what a person ponders uncovers who his Lord is.

The Lord said in Matthew 6:22-23,

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Whatever you are watching or whatever is allowed into the body through the eye will either be dark or light. Whatever you observe in the natural is quickly analyzed and translated in terms of the spiritual originating source.

If the heart is dark, it is because of what the eye allowed in. If the heart is light, it is because of what the eye allowed in.

If your “eye” is good or as the Greek defines it, “clear or single”.

Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words says this about the word “single”….

“is used in the moral sense…of the eye; “singleness” of purpose keeps us from the snare of having a double treasure and consequently a divided heart.”

So when a married man looks at another woman, he has a bad eye and it indicates that he has a double heart because he is treasuring someone else’s woman or just treasuring another woman.

It’s called “objectification.” That’s a polite word for lusting after the flesh.

Jesus called it “adultery.”

Listen to what the Lord said in Matthew 5:27-30,

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ’But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

You do not have to be in bed with a woman to commit fornication or adultery. The eyes, mind, and hands is all that a man needs to “act out” sexually by himself.

If you were a man during this time and you heard this from the Lord, all of a sudden, you are left with a big decision. Jesus gives a radical command. Then the Lord gives a radical solution to a sinful problem. Jesus knew that it would hurt a man because sin hurts the heart of the Father more.

If you want to really stop lusting with your eyes, pluck your eye out. Now listen. Jesus wasn’t commanding men to start pulling their eyes out. He was declaring that you have to employ the most radical solution to avoid lusting after a woman with your eyes.

The way that I pluck my eye out is by looking the other way. Completely avoid eye contact. Other forms of radical would be to close your eyes when you are seated as they walk by you. Turn off and remove the TV. Stop watching sex laced movies. Stay off the Internet. Give your wife all the access codes to your computer. Get Internet software to blow the whistle on you if you go to questionable sites. Accountability partners, starting with your wife and other band of brothers that will ask you the tough questions and hold your feet to the fire. And to pray for you and counsel you when necessary. When you go to the hotel, ask them to remove the TV, shut down all the cable or satellite feeds to your room. According to XXXChurch, the average time spent watching porn in a hotel room is 12 minutes.

When Christian conferences are held across the country, there is no doubt that some Christian man or pastors will watch porn when they get to their hotel room.

No question in my mind.

To radically shut down the flesh or cut off the eye, you must consider canceling your Directv, Dish, Cable, or other forms of entertainment. Do not take all day to consider. If this has been tripping you up, is it worth going down the path of sin by keeping your subscription if you can’t discipline yourself?

The question is, “How far are you willing to go to keep your eye clear to please the Father?”

You have your wife in the car and another woman walks by, you have to exercise the discipline of covenant (provided that you made a covenant) with your eyes. Your spirit, soul, and body agree never to look at a woman lustfully.

Covenant means agreement or alliance.

Every time a woman comes within your “zone” or periphery, you zone that woman out. This is the most difficult thing to do for men because we were designed to observe beauty. But just because you were designed to “look,” it doesn’t mean that you have permission to look when you want to at will.

When we got married, the search ended. There is no need to “find a wife.” Your right to look was stripped away from you because of the law of marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7:27 & 39).

You have selected your woman, out of all the women in the world, to be your wife. So the search for beauty ends and you are enraptured with the one you’ve selected. No other woman is to be powerful enough to turn your head. No other woman is to capture your attention. No other woman is on the level of beauty and admiration. You have settled and there is no turning back.

Single men have it bad because the variety is too much to bear. Married men have it bad only when they take their eyes off of the one they married to look at another.

How does a pastor’s wife stop her husband from looking?

Great question.

Here are some suggestions….

1. Redirection of what he is searching for.

There is no question that the world’s solution is short sighted. The Biblical solution is the only recommended course.

Your husband has a lust issue.

This is because if he doesn’t spend time in the presence of the Lord in personal devotion, he is only using natural means to satisfy a spiritual desire to be intimate.

Men were created to search. So it makes sense that your husband is to search after the Lord according to Psalm 27:8.

He needs to get back into the presence of the Lord. I read a research statistic from 1996 that 57% of pastors spend less than 20 minutes or less in prayer. This opens the door for more meditation on darkness. Many pastors are wallowing in the dark places because they are not in the secret place as they should.

Intimacy and fellowshipping with God is part of our personal relationship with the Lord. We can be very “professional” in our approach to ministry. It is very easy to turn the switch on to preach and pastor but when it comes to living out of our personal well of everlasting life, we fail miserably. Can the people in your church see Christ in your walk or are they just seeing your professional face as pastor?

2. Your husband needs to return to you.

Perhaps some issues took place in the church or his life that causes him to “detach” or “disconnect” from you. Any disconnection or detachment from the Lord usually cascades into other areas. When a man detaches himself from the Lord, he is searching for reconnection. The places where he wants to connect is what he is prohibited from connecting with.

Marriages suffer tremendously when a male pastor disconnects from God because the next disconnection is the wife and family. As married couples progress, there are many events that take place that drive a male pastor away from his wife. And it usually is not the wife’s fault. When the male pastor’s eye is not single, he will look at another woman and he will not call it sin.

The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is operating in him and he has yet to learn how to reign in and kill or deprive of power these “animal impulses.”

So how does a wife solve these two problems?

When was the last time you had a real vacation? Or a short time away from the work of the ministry? When was the last time you walked away and left the elders in charge to handle the church affairs? When was the last time you let the relatives handle the kids while you steal away to a hotel for the night?

Most of the time, conferences were as close to hotel as you were going to get. But you need to not plan to go to another conference. You need to plan for you. Husbands are stubborn.

Especially pastor/husbands.

There has to be some way to get your husband reintroduced to who you are. I find that many pastors are so caught up in their work that they forget that they are married and then the flesh and eyes begin to search for everything other than the Lord and their own wives.

It’s time to reassess and get rest. It’s time to get reacquainted with each other before a sex scandal ends another marriage.

When you see your husband/pastor look at another woman, he is searching. He is searching for the wrong thing. He needs to get back into searching for the true and living God and he needs to search you, his wife out, in places away from ministry and work.

To listen to our groundbreaking series, Secret Sexual Sins, click this link

When You And Your Sins Are Called Out

It’s the worst feeling in the world to think that you can get away with Secret Sexual Sins. 

It’s sad to think that we take His love, grace, and mercy for granted.

As I was reading the story of David’s sins, I can feel what he went through. Crossing the line. Thinking that there is no way possible that his sins would get called out or that he would get caught. When it comes to planning out sin, the one thing that we ignore is the fact that the God of heaven sees it all.

Psalm 139:7-12, A Psalm of David, says

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

Go figure.


The same ruddy little shepherd boy that killed a bear and a lion to save the sheep.


The same snot nosed kid that went over by the brook to get five smooth stones to kill Goliath.


The same bold man of God that took Goliath’s sword and cut the head of Goliath clean off.


The same psalmist that wrote “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”

It’s sad that he couldn’t say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want….Bathsheba.”


The biological and generational bridge to bring in the Son of God. As a note, if Ruth, the Moabitess, a descendant of Lot’s oldest daughter by incest, after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, when Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. If Ruth had gone her own way, she would not have met Boaz.

You just cannot make this redemption stuff up.

While the kings went to battle, David stayed behind. When you read the story, if you are reading it from the mind of a woman, (please do not be offended) it is time for you to understand the mind of a man.

According to 2 Samuel 11, David conveniently stayed home because he knew that a peep show was about to happen. With being a “peeping Tom,” it is just another peep/porn show on 42 Street.

What amazes me the most is that David had a bird’s eye view. Furthermore, as you read the various commentaries about this story, women would bathe in the open at three in the afternoon. This was not unusual if you read the various commentaries.

One commentary suggests that these roof top bathing places where everywhere. This means that David had a variety of watching posts. It also leads me to believe that some of the women caught on to what the what men were doing and exercised some discretion. Then again, some women may not have exercised discretion.

David took a nap and woke up just in time to see Bathsheba bathing?

How convenient the timing. In the mind of a man, when a beautiful woman walks this way everyday, you are going to make sure that you are there at precisely the right time to catch the show. If you are aware of the custom, it is not a big deal to walk out at anytime and have your pick at what you want to see. Except for David, he knew this was going to happen.

Sometimes, it’s the other way around. Ladies do not be offended, but when you want the attention of a man, you will wear something to help a man to remember you. This is not true for all women. A vast percentage of holy, sanctified women will not do this.

A very small percentage will.

I’ve seen it in the small local church my wife and I pastor.

They come in with cleavage.

I told my wife about this and said to her, you need to tell her about this because it is a distraction. Without any hesitation on my wife’s part, an end was put to it.

Sadly, immoral women do make it difficult for preachers. At the same time, immoral pastors make it difficult on themselves when they choose not to ignore or keep their mind on God. Women, whether they come with immoral intents or not, they cannot be blamed all the time unless they come dressed that way on purpose.

Some women will take offense when a pastor tells women how to dress. It is a form of bondage. However, my wife has a right to tell any women to adjust the way they dress because she knows that the game is on.

Sadly, the immoral women believe that they are in competition for a married wife’s husband when there is no competition. You can’t compete for something that is already another person’s possession. There is only pain and misery after you “win the competition.”

What makes the immoral women think that he is going to stay? If he cheated on his wife, what makes you think that he won’t cheat on you?

For Jezebels, after the promise of power comes, and the people walk out on the cheating pastor, the conquest for power dissipates because there is no one in their right mind that would want to stay to be controlled under Jezebel’s controlling, manipulative ways.

Or, the Lord brings judgment on Jezebel and or the man of Gawd that she stole and all the plans of “ministerial conquest” is thrown into the wind.

When my brother’s and I were laying our father to rest, I was invited to a Sunday church service by a married elder. After the service concluded, we walked outside and greeted the people. All of a sudden, a young lady in a low cleavage dark blue flirty dress in white high heels came across the street.

Out of the corner of my eye, I knew the intent and I turned away so as not to make eye contact.

Sometimes, you have to know when trouble is coming. Not that she was trouble, but with my eyes and my mind, I cannot afford trouble. A man could burn that image forever for later. If you know what I mean. My wife didn’t accompany with me for the trip so the sight discipline had to be maintained.

Any way, she walked up to this married elder that invited me. It wasn’t one of these conversations that seemed “regular.”

There was no question in my mind that he knew her very well, if you know what I mean.

Not that they had “connections” but you never know. In observation with the interaction with his wife (she wasn’t at church), it wasn’t warm, if you know what I mean. But as with all personal observations, I could be wrong. Unlike most pastors, I want to be wrong about this.

Men are to be blamed as well for objectifying women.

Some will say, that I, as a pastor, have no business even mentioning it.

On the contrary, if I do not believe it is a problem, immoral women will believe that it’s not a problem. Even when my wife is with me, you’d be surprised at what single and married women are willing to do.

As I was recovering from the affects of porn, I read material about how men are not paying attention to overt and covert actions of women.

Male pastors do not see it coming.

And it is true.

This is the reason why a male pastor must understand that the enemy is always looking for an opportunity. No matter how innocent the handshake, hug, friendly greeting kiss, or small talk may appear, both women and men will entertain warped perceptions that lead to dangerous moments.


That’s what this is all about.

Women look for connections that make them feel affirmed as women. But not just any ol’ connection.

As one person said, “The anointing could make a bum look good.” 

Men just look for sex for connection and move on. That’s why the character and nature of Christ in all of us is paramount. More importantly, our relationship with the Lord is crucial because the Lord created us for His pleasure, not our own. To sin against God only reveals that we have cheapened our relationship with the Lord.

Unsuspecting to male pastors, after preaching, they are vulnerable. When you are in the strength of the anointing and grace of God, you are covered in His power. However, when you expend a lot of physical and mental energy in delivering the Word of God, after you are done, you are wide open for attacks.

This is the enemy’s chance to plant things in your mind because you are not expecting it, for one, and two, the enemy knows that if he could get you, this is the moment.

This is traced back to the time when Jesus was driven into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tempted by the devil (see Luke 4:1-2). At the end of the forty days, the devil waited until Jesus was at His weakest to get Jesus with the best temptations possible.

The ploy is the same everywhere for every preacher.

When you are at your most weakest state, the temptation will be satan’s best.

I was reading Dr. Betty Price’s book on “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives and Their Mistresses.”

Women would come to church and wear the most provocative things. They are bold and they will sit on the front row or close just to get noticed. I believe that some of these women stopped believing God for their own man to marry and go after accomplished married pastors.

In any era, it’s obvious. More than ever, we are seeing many pastor fall. We are also seeing many of these immoral women admit, after the fact, that they’ve made a mistake. It’s one mistake too late.

David took advantage of a custom. There is no question about the intent on David’s part. He knew that he would get to see what he wanted to see. His lack of discipline put him in the position to sin. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be. As with many men, they are out of position with their heart and spirit in their personal walk with the Lord.

Before any sins are committed a person must commit to sever their personal relationship with the Lord in order to commit sin. Because if you are connected to the light, in order to see, you must commit to keep the light on. The moment that you decide that you want to sin, you must disconnect from the Power.

David disconnected himself from the Lord.

When you are reading 2 Samuel 11, we must remember that this is not a real time event. This was brewing for months. There is no question in my mind that David saw Bathsheba before both in and out of clothing.

The Secret Sexual Sins in David’s heart was brewing.

It’s the same with all men. When you have someone in your mind that you want to have in bed, when you are enraged with their beauty, you will not quit until you have her. With self sex, it is not enough. You will take it to the next level.

When you read 2 Samuel 13 about Amnon being sick with lust for his sister, Tamar, now you can understand to what depths a man is willing to risk to have a woman. Amnon was willing to cross all the lines to commit Secret Sexual Sins with his own sister.

Perversion will take you into places where you thought you wouldn’t go. Or, perversion will take you into places where you planned all along to go.

Finally, after David had Bathsheba, she conceived. It probably took a missed cycle or two to figure out that she was pregnant. David had to cover his sin.

David thought that if he could get Uriah, his loyal subordinate commander, to have sex with his wife, the birth would somehow be covered. But Uriah’s loyalty kept him from his wife. Even after David got him drunk the second night, he thought that Uriah would finally see his wife. When that failed, David said in his mind and heart, “He must die.”

Uriah was killed, Bathsheba mourned for her husband, and David took her into his house.

It was then that the Lord was displeased.

Well, the Lord recorded this way because the Lord wants us to understand that sin is sin and during those months that David carefully planned this, at anytime, David could have said, “Wait! How could I do this?” 

The power and strength of lust will cause anyone to suppress righteousness, justice, holiness, and disrespect God. The power and strength of lust, when yielded to, will drive a man from His relationship with the Lord, his wife, and throw away everything the Lord ever gave them.

Lust in the heart will destroy a man, his marriage, and his family.

In the days ahead, when we are quick to walk away from the fear of God, it will not bode well for lust driven pastors and believers on judgment day. The many lives that are destroyed because of lust in the heart is not the thing that we want to bring before the Lord when we stand before Him.

I cannot say that stuff is going to be exposed like David. Exposure has happened in many places, but today, there is no fear of God before their eyes. Pastors and believers are no longer afraid that they will be exposed. Like Cozbi and Zimri, Hophni and Phinehas, the fear of the Lord is nothing to many pastors and believers.

Years ago, the late Benson Idahosa, a bishop and an apostle in Nigeria was retiring to his hotel room. He and his entourage opened the door and smelled smoke. A known prostitute was hiding in the closet of the hotel room as a plant to entrap the Bishop in a sex scandal.

She cried out that she was burning and was burned with the fire of the Lord.

This is a powerful example of why it is important to keep yourself pure because God will protect a holy man of God with the holy fire of God for the times we are living in.

Secret Sexual Sins is open field running. It’s like the people in the Body of Christ are “streaking” before the throne of God. If you do not know what streaking is, it is running the streets in the buff.

When your sins are called out like David’s was, it’s because the Lord had no choice but to expose and uncover the cover up.

May we cry out for mercy because more pastors are going to come out of the closet. More pastors will yield to Secret Sexual Sins. More female pastors will disclose their “sexual preference and orientations.” High profile pastors that we see on TV will reveal who they really are. And because we are accustomed to the perverseness of the day, it will mean nothing to us.

Just remember, the remnant that hasn’t bowed their knee to Baal is out there, but thank God that someone is interceding and praying on earth to the Father in the name of Jesus.

Let’s cry out to the Lord, for the hour that is dark upon us. These are dark days, but the church will rise and be seen as the true church. The believers will rise and pray, and declare the Lordship of Jesus.

Not in word but in spirit and truth.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

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