The Masturbation Question, “Urges And Impulses”

You do not have to look to the world to know that masturbation is a problem in the church among men and women. We do not need statistics for this because we all know that it is pandemic in the church.

Several years ago, as I was attending a seminar at Calvary Baptist Church in midtown manhattan, a young man stood up and asked a question about whether masturbation was a sin or not. You could hear a pin drop.

The moderator was taken aback by the question which was posed to him twice. He didn’t have a definitive answer and very politely brushed him off. There was no question in my mind that the young man was frustrated. I do not know if he was struggling with his conscience about it, but clearly, he went away without a definitive answer.

Looking back in hind sight, it was almost as if the Lord was warning me about what I was doing in secret. Up until that point, I didn’t know what the word “Masturbation” meant. I didn’t even bother to look it up. But I knew it had something to do with what I was doing as a young believer and minister in the Lord over 30 years ago.

There’s millions of people that is searching for definitive answers about masturbation. However, there is a vast majority of believers that will disagree about stopping masturbation and there is a reason which we will explore in another segment on this ground breaking series.

Again, there is no specific Scriptures that specifically state that masturbation is condemned. However, as I have pointed out. Just because the Bible is silent in one area, it doesn’t mean that we have permission to engage.

Can you control your urges and impulses?

If you are married, you can enjoy an normal sex life without masturbation, fornication, and adultery. As Dr, Mark Laaser has said, you can regain “sexual sobriety.”

It begins by understanding how to curb, discipline, and govern your urges and impulses.

Paul mentioned in Colossians 3:5 that we are to put to death your members which are on earth…” Then there is a list of sins that our minds and flesh desire to fulfill.

fornication- porneia. Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words defines “porneia” as “illicit sexual intercourse.” It is safe to say that illicit sexual intercourse is between two persons of the opposite sex that isn’t married. If either of them were married, it would constitute adultery.

uncleanness- morals, suggestive of the fact that sensuality and evil doctrine are frequently associated. Out of religiosity, sexual sins could be reasoned as justified, such as the doctrine of Balaam, the Nicolaitans, and the doctrine of Jezebel. In most cases, uncleanness will have some connection to sexual sins such as the man in the tombs.

Interesting to note that while I was on a Metro North platform at Tarrytown in NY, there was a black apparently homeless man standing on the overpass. As I gazed in his eyes, I could see that he was obsessed or possessed.

But while he was standing there, he was masturbating. When I read the story about the man in the tombs whom Jesus cast out a legion of devils, he was described as naked, and could not be tamed. He would break the chains. He would cry out all night long.

He had unclean spirits. Obviously all devils are unclean but the devils that operate then as well as today in humans predominantly deal in the area of sexual sins. We all know that the lowest level of depraved acts are sex acts. In some cases, not in all cases, demonic levels of depraved sexual acts do occur.

Masturbation in public is exhibitionism and to suggest that it is a clear demonically inspired sex act is a bit over the top and rarely happens. Lewdness does take place but it occurs with people that do claim to have some semblance of normalcy. .

With depraved sex acts, especially when they are committed against women and children, this is different.

passion- aggressive lusts; excessive lusts.

evil desire- “to fix the desire upon.” Thayer’s, “To long or crave for.”

covetousness (which is idolatry)- “a greedy desire to have more” which is idolatry, the worship of false gods.

Please note that masturbation is not specifically mentioned here or anywhere is the Bible.

But what is the true driving factor of all masturbation?

It is found in four words.

Uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

If masturbation isn’t a sin, is there such thing as holy masturbation and unholy masturbation?

Remember, masturbation is self sex. It is an act done alone. As I shared in our last segment, the Lord said, “It is not good that man be alone.” To avoid masturbation was not the intended reason for the statement the Lord made. God created a compatible companion, suitable to his needs. Again, Adam and Eve were created perfect, in the image of God.

After the fall, things dramatically changed.

The rule of inference is applied because man will argue that since the Bible says nothing specifically about masturbation being a sin, then it is permitted. Very few men will tell you that they are thinking about their wives when it comes to masturbation.

Yeah right!

Not after a hot babe walks by you. Or you are walking by the magazine rack.

Men are stimulated by sight. We do not have to look long and hard at a woman. Just a slight glance is enough to file her in our soul for masturbatory use later. Sometimes, when we say that I’m just thinking about having my wife sexually, it is just an excuse to engage in manipulating yourself to orgasm.

Covetousness, which is idolatry, is the culmination of uncontrolled members that must be put to death.


When you cannot manage or control “urges and impulses,” it potentially turns into an addiction and Paul describes it as covetousness, which is idolatry.

Again, many of you may disagree and that’s fine. Here is something that you may need to consider.

Remember what the Lord said to the Samaritan woman at the well? The woman mentioned “worship” but Jesus mentioned true worship. The Father seeks for those that worship Him in spirit and in truth. What she thought was true worship was a cover for what she was really worshipping. The runaway “greedy desire to have more.” And she was willing to do everything possible to meet that need.

A need that is never met remains a need. With sexual needs, there are deep seated or underlying needs in both genders.

1. Love
2. Affirmation
3. Acceptance
4. Accomplishment or Success
5. Connectedness

All of these things are things that can only be satisfied in the true, spiritual worship of God.

When the Lord said, “You shall have no other gods before Me, for I, the Lord your God am a jealous God,” and when Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, This is the first and great commandment,” the Lord is letting us know that true satisfaction and love is found only in Him.

Psalm 16:11 says,
“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Therefore, if we institute a priority to worship God in spirit and in truth, we can control our urges and impulses through giving God our full love for Him.

When this is accomplished, it is very easy to put these members to death.

Urges and impulses are signals given throughout the body to do certain things.

When we smell food, hunger is aroused. Even if you are not hungry, the smell arouses the desire to consume. When men watch women, sight arousal takes place. Also, if a man is thinking about sex, arousal will take place.

Urges and impulses need to be governed. Otherwise, covetousness, which is idolatry, will take place. When you cannot stop these urges and impulses from gaining the upper hand, they control what you do. In other words, you plan your day gathering as much sensual information as possible from as many sources as possible for the finale.

There would be times that I would meditate on the Word of God all day long and listen to praise and worship music too. But as soon as I turn to the newspapers, walk by the magazine rack in most stores, lustfully observe women, or view women from still pictures of internet images, all that worship was for nothing.

God knew my heart. We men of unbridled lust are all on the king’s balcony overlooking the area where she would come out and bathe herself. We are not where we supposed to be in God. We stay behind to get that one glimpse that would fill our hearts and minds with evil desires, unholy passions, and full blown lust.

By the time I got home, I’m completely overcome with lust in my heart, mind, and flesh.

When you look to self gratification, fornication, adultery, or prostitution to fulfill a sexual desire, you are out of control if you cannot stop. This is unhealthy sexual appetites.

Listen to the Amplified Bible of Colossians 3:5…

“So kill (deaden, deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]…”

When I wouldn’t kill, deaden or deprive of power the evil desire lurking in my members, those animal impulses, it was a battle that I would easily lose.

Here’s why.

I was looking forward to fulfill the lusts of the flesh and mind. When it comes to the pleasures of sin, if you are not serious about the things of the Lord, you will override every prompting of the Holy Spirit to evade and avoid the trap of secret sexual sins. You will deny the power of godliness. You will set aside the Word of God to escape, just to experience the pleasure.

The intense pleasure of self gratification drove me to engage as often as possible. From self foreplay, to orgasm. While the desire to stop was always in me, the desire to fulfill orgasmic pleasure suppressed my desire to live in holiness, sanctification, and righteousness.

The pleasure was the hook. It kept me coming back for more and more. Just like Paul said.

Covetousness- a greedy desire to have more, which is idolatry, the worship of idol gods.

I frequently bowed at the altar of sexual immorality. I worshipped my ability to climax by masturbation and the images of porn and other women were being worshipped as well. I know that at this point, you do not think that masturbation crossed over into covetousness or idolatry. You honestly believe that what you are doing is innocent. It’s just a releasing of sexual tension. That’s all.

You vowed that you would never cross the line into the upper tier of sexual addiction level one. Adultery, fornication, and prostitutes. But that’s what urges and impulses is all about.

When it comes to the lusts of the flesh and the lusts of the eyes, Proverbs 27:20 says, “Hell and destruction are never full. So the eyes of man are never satisfied.” When it comes to false or substitute sex, the thoughts of crossing the line are always there.

And yes, whether you realize it or not, you are doing everything in your power not to cross that line. And to a degree, that is a form of control.

However, we know that the devil will always come back with that suggestion and there will be times when the temptation is greater than you think.

The line that the enemy wanted me to cross is to do porn movies. Don’t be so shocked. It was a very brief temptation because of the diseases. After getting delivered, and studying about these diseases that are out there, I found out that it’s a very full minefield. No matter which way you stepped, you will step on a mine. And knowing the way my life is, it would have been the first mine.

What am I getting at? Urges and impulses will drive every decision you make to fulfill false fantasy. Urges and impulses will always drive you to take the plunge into other areas to keep you interested.

Masturbation will no longer be enough.

1 John 1:9 was worn out. I was operating in remorse, not repentance.

Finally, how can we control urges and impulses? How can we deaden and deprive of power the animal impulses lurking within our members? How can we overcome an entrenched sexually pleasurable habit?

If you recall the first installation of The Masturbation Question, you must conclude three things.

1. You are violating the “one flesh” principle.
2. You are a born again child of God, therefore, you have no need for old habits because you are a new creature in Christ.
3. If Jesus masturbated, then you have every right to masturbate. If Jesus didn’t masturbate, then you can exercise the same sexual discipline of Jesus by conforming to His image with the help of the Holy Spirit.

We must understand the we still live in a flesh suit. As long as we live, we will always have urges and impulses. The Lord gave us everything that we need to exercise control over our members.

Rule #1. God placed within you the ability to control yourself.

Galatians 5:22 says, “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, temperance or self control…”

Yes! Self control.

Within us is the ability to control ourselves by the power and aid of the Holy Spirit. You can stop. You can change. You can desist. You can defeat and bring into subjection all of your fleshly desires.

Romans 8:5-10 out of the AMP says,

“For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.

Set your mind on the Holy Spirit. How? By listening to the Word of God and fully yielding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. For instance, when you see a woman across the street, the Holy Spirit will begin to train your eyes and mind to look elsewhere.

That’s 1 Corinthians 10:13 in operation when the Holy Spirit is making a way of escape for you that you may be able to bear under the temptation. Remember, the Lord will not allow you to be tempted above your ability to resist.

6 Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].

7 [That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.

8 So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.

9 But you are not living the life of the flesh, you are living the life of the Spirit, if the [Holy] Spirit of God [really] dwells within you [directs and controls you]. But if anyone does not possess the [Holy] Spirit of Christ, he is none of His [he does not belong to Christ, is not truly a child of God].

10 But if Christ lives in you, [then although] your [natural] body is dead by reason of sin and guilt, the spirit is alive because of [the] righteousness [that He imputes to you].

Rule #2 You can resist every single temptation through prayer and the Word of God.

Hebrews 4:16 (AMP) says,

“Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well times help, coming just when we need it].”

2 Corinthians 12:9 (AMP) says,

“But He said to me, My Grace (My favor and loving kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and complete) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness…”

Hebrews 4:12 (AMP) says,

“For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two- edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.”

James 1:22-25 (AMP) says,

22″But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].

23 For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror;

24 For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like.

25 But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).

To win the battle of the urges and impulses, you have to set out to pray and do the Word on a “moment by moment” basis. You cannot let a simple innocent thought go unchecked. Every thought must be brought into subjection and then the body must be subdued.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can gain control over your outer man if you begin to apply these Scriptures.

Please go to to listen to any of our groundbreaking series on Secret Sexual Sins.

The Masturbation Question

Non Christians do it.

Christians do it.

Why do we do it?

There is no specific Scripture that declares that masturbation is a sin.

This is the smoking gun or search for WMD that will never happen. However, when you have a series of harmonious Scriptures that declare a consistent principle, to interject an act whether sinful or not, is an attempt to circumvent a consistent principle.

If there is no Scripture that says that it isn’t sin, I can engage in the practice.
As I’ve said before on many occasions. Just because the Scriptures is silent on a particular subject, it doesn’t mean that you have permission to engage in the act.

The one other side that must be shared is that again, too many people condemn themselves when they are trying to break free of addictive or compulsive habits. The Lord knows where you are in your struggles with the mind and flesh.

The goal that you desire to achieve is to regain sexual sobriety as Dr. Mark Laaser puts it and regain control or mastery over your flesh by the help and power of the Holy Spirit, with measurable team accountability. As Dr. Mark Laaser shared, you want to rid yourself of unhealthy sexuality and regain healthy sexuality.

To condemn yourself as lost forever in the sea of lust is not healthy for you. That’s what the devil wants you to do. Declare yourself lost and hopeless. The search and rescue team the Lord sent for you hasn’t given up the search for you. There is hope, peace, and love that awaits you if you give Jesus, the true lover of your soul, your heart, soul, mind, and body.

On the other hand, there are those that do struggle but when you struggle to justify an act that is a clear indication that you are having difficulty with having a clear conscience.

If this is you, you will do one of two things.

One. Suppress the condemnation and conviction through remorse or…

Two, Repent and ask the Lord for the blood of Jesus to wash you according to 1 John 1:9 and receive forgiveness.

Conclusion#1. Masturbation violates the “one flesh” principle.

Genesis 2:18 “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Verse 24, Therefore the man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Matthews 19:4-6 “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and he said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Please note the that Lord Jesus added “and the two.” It takes nothing away from the original text in Genesis 2:24 because all Jesus did was qualify the word “they.” Jesus wanted to make sure that the word “they” is qualified to mean Adam and Eve.

Ephesians 5:29 “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Paul re-qualified the word “they” in Genesis 2:24 as Jesus did to make sure that you got it. “the two shall become one flesh.”

Therefore, the conclusion is definite. Sex is designed to be shared with two persons of the opposite sex in holy matrimony by joining themselves through sexual intercourse.

Let me add that sex is for pleasure and procreation. It is also used for bonding two persons together, thus securing the relationship.

So you have three witnesses that testify according to Deuteronomy 19:15 and 2 Corinthians 13:1, which speaks of the Witness Principle of Biblical Hermeneutics. God becomes an Established Witness. Jesus and Paul becomes a Confirming or Confirmation Witness.

Therefore, masturbation clearly violates the “one flesh” principle. You can’t become one flesh by yourself because God designed sex to be shared with two persons of the opposite sex in holy matrimony. Make believe physical contact, fantasizing about your wife while masturbating, and heart and mind adultery while masturbating is a clear violation of the one flesh principle.

Conclusion #2 You are a Born Again Believer, A New Creature or Creation In Christ
2 Corinthians 5:17, you have a new nature within you, the Spirit of Christ according to Romans 8:5-11, is within you. To masturbate when you are to be joined with your husband or wife, is a violation of the new nature of Christ within you.

Titus 3:5 “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior.”

Romans 12:1-2

Substitute Sex- Dr. William Struthers says, porn is hijacking the brain and you are masturbating to an image in your mind that isn’t physically there. Masturbation is a sex act but it is a self sex act. Meaning that you are having sex with yourself that clearly violates the original intention and design of sex by God.

Remember, God said that it is not good that man be alone. Generally, men and women masturbate in secrecy. We will not cover lewdness as far as voyeurism is concerned. In case you are not aware of what voyeurism is, it’s self satisfaction in watching other couples having sex.

Now, let me say that there are some couples that masturbate in front of each other. Is that a violation of the one flesh principle?

I must say yes, because you are touching yourself and not touching your spouse. We could go through a list of sex acts but that would not be necessary and it would distract from the original intent of this series. To apply a list of do’s and don’t to sex acts would be bedroom legalism and it would generate more questions and add strife.

However, when it comes to porn and sexually generated fantasies, it is a false image or fantasy that you are masturbating to. Which would you rather have? A body or an image? If it is an image you want and desire, then it is idolatry.

Listen to Colossians 3:5 (NKJ and AMP)

“Put to death your members which are upon the earth: fornication (pornea) uncleanness, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

Pay attention. The only time something has to be put to death is that it was found guilty of a violation and upon conviction, the penalty of death is imposed.

“So kill, deaden, and deprive of power the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is employed in you] sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God).”

The Lord said, “You shall have no other gods before me.”

Now this is where we get into an outstanding Scripture. Remember when Jesus confronted the woman at Jacob’s well? She had how many husbands? 5. And the Lord told her that the one she was with wasn’t her husband. The conversation started with water, covered worship, and ended with an exposure of her sins.

What the Lord was doing was showing her that true intimacy can only be acquired through worship of God in spirit and in truth. The water that you are drinking (sexual immorality) is water that you will thirst after again. Hence, the repetition of multiple men to meet a need.

The water that Jesus offered is eternal and she would never thirst for another man ever again. It is the same with masturbation. If you look to masturbate over and over again, you will thirst again and never be satisfied. But if you look to the Lord Jesus, you will never thirst again.

There was no question that she was successful in seducing these men to heal deep wounds or to meet connection needs through physical intimacy, but she kept coming up short of true satisfaction. This is the case with many single, divorced, and married men that look to masturbation as a way to release sexual tension, heal emotional wounds, feel self love, or gain affirmation.

So when you are having self sex, notice that Paul lists these things as sensual appetites of the flesh. Noticed that he ended by saying “and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God).”

Sex and the person having sex apart from the way God created sex can be deified.

As a side note, when you see people with strange pictures and clothing that reveals skin or the sexy form of a body that leaves nothing to the imagination, it is sexual deification. When you are masturbating, it is a form of self deification. Especially when it is compulsive. Later in this series, we will deal with addictions and compulsive sexual behaviors.

Conclusion #3. If you desire to be like Jesus and be conformed to His image, if Jesus masturbated then you have every right to gratify yourself so you would conform to His image.

Conclusion #4. Your conscience and body is violated and the Holy Spirit is grieved.

How do you know that you’ve violated any principle?

The voice of the human spirit is the conscience. The born again believer has the Holy Spirit living within him or her. When you commit sins of omission and commission, the Holy Spirit will object in the strongest terms because the Holy Spirit is holy.

Anything that violates the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, which agrees with each other, the Holy Spirit will be grieved and He will let you know it so that it’s unmistakeable.

While this Biblical example has nothing to do with sexuality, it has everything to do with how the conscience is affected when there is a specific violation.

1 Samuel 24:1-7

Listen to the NLT version,

“Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today is the day the Lord was talking about when he said, “I will certainly put Saul into your power, to do with as you wish.’ “Then David crept forward and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe. But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. “The Lord knows I shouldn’t have done it,” he said to his men. “It is a serious thing to attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord Himself has chosen him.” And David sharply rebuked his men and did not let them kill Saul.”

Conclusion#5. If you masturbate, you are loving yourself according to 2 Timothy 3:1, namely, “Lovers of themselves,” “without self control, and lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”

Go to http// for the audio of this ground breaking series on The Masturbation Question.

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