Porn: Why Do Women Watch Porn?

By Fred C. Rochester. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.

The porn industry obviously targets males but we are seeing a clear trend that women are watching porn and it is increasing.

Here are the statistics to prove it.

According to

* 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction
* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
Internet Filter Review 

Where do they go after the Internet porn?

To the chat rooms of the Internet.

It is in these places that single, divorced, and married women go. When it comes to singles, because they may be lonely or may have come out of a bad relationship, the chat room is the place where they reconnect but from a distance.

This may include webcams where lewd behavior take place. All over the Internet, we are seeing this behavior and that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Where do they go after the chat room?

One statistic is equally shocking.

1 of 6 women will “act out” their fantasy.

From the chat room to the bedroom.

They will go to a hotel, house, or wherever to “act out” their fantasy.

This is level one sex addiction where the desire to go beyond self imposed limits must be breached so as to experience the full sexual act.

When you do not desire to cross that line, you will stick with self gratification.

For many, they are willing to risk their lives just to feel connected. Men will lie and deceive just to get what they want. Sadly, women will believe them and may lose it all. They know that if they are not killed that it is highly probable that they will get pregnant or contract STDs, HIV/AIDS, and experience relational wounds.

There are crazy criminally minded men out there that prey on women. Sadly, another Ted Bundy is waiting to emerge that will make what the late Ted Bundy did look like child’s play. When a woman or a teenage girl disappears, the worst fears are imagined.

Rape, sodomy, sexual assault, murder.

As I have stated, no one watches porn and do not masturbate.

That is, unless they are incapacitated for whatever reason. Porn is the fuel to the fire that is already raging within people. Sexual tension is real. It is the most difficult part to master, control, and overcome. When anyone watches porn, there is no question about it’s objective.

Objective number 1

Your money.

Objective number 2

Keep you in bondage by offering endless false pleasure.

Objective number 3

Keep you in a place of hopelessness. Hopelessness in the sense that you would never be loved by anyone. So, in self gratification, you “love” yourself.

When porn and masturbation is done over and over again, habits or rituals are formed.

Anytime your “urges and impulses” go off, you set in motion a ritual to achieve sex satisfaction objectives. For instance, when you are at home, when you are hungry, you go to the kitchen to look for something to eat. Just a few minutes after eating you are full but your brain says “I want more.”

So you eat, not to satisfy a hunger, but to satisfy the craving. The brain doesn’t care about how much is in your stomach because the brain is only looking for complete satisfaction that goes beyond the limits imposed on the stomach.

It’s the same with porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation.

When normal sexuality in a marriage takes place, generally, it takes a man 24 hours for his sexual organs to recover. However, men can masturbate themselves to soreness because of compulsion. Women recover quicker than men and could experience multiple orgasms.

We watch and keep on watching. We masturbate, and we keep on masturbating because we are not satisfied or the process, and climax is so intense, we want that feeling over and over again.

Clearly, this is a compulsion that may indicate sexual addiction.

When is sexual addiction, sexual addiction?

When you cannot stop, manage, or control sexual urges and impulses.

Many lonely women share their intimate sexually explicit fantasies and fetishes with other males or females for the purpose of connecting. Remember, women are wired differently than males according to Dr. William Struthers. Males are “wired for sex.”

For women, they are emotionally wired. Connection gives a woman value and raises her self esteem as a person. Some people will say, “I can understand a single person or even a divorced person, but a married person? No way!”

When the husband fails to give the woman all that she desires in the full spectrum of connection, that disconnected feeling causes her to look elsewhere to fulfill that need. The husband could be involved with a mistress (job, sports, housework, newspaper, magazine, porn, masturbation, or a another woman or a man) and she looks in frustration to her husband but he won’t give her the time of day.

She looks for other men and one thing will lead to another because that’s her make up. She is willing to cross the line after months or even years of neglect. It’s not just bedroom neglect. It’s communication neglect. Meaningful interaction outside the bedroom between husband and wife is equally important in securing the relationship.

It is the interactive connection that brings a measure of satisfaction in a relationship. This is where the husband has to look at himself and realize that his wife is vulnerable when she feels disconnected from her husband. In another form of disconnect, she sees her husband connecting with other woman but he gets into the car or comes home, he retreats to his “man cave,” leaving his wife all alone.

This is common and it makes the wife feel mistreated. This form of neglect is sometimes the reason behind a wife’s adulterous affair. Sadly, someone comes and gives the wife the time of day that she knows would make her husband jealous, but she doesn’t care.

She has “needs” too.

Sin can never be excused in either case.

Loneliness is isolation even when two persons live in the same house or apartment.

Sex is the ultimate bond that validates the relationship. The moment that a woman is safe, secure, validated, and connected to her husband, there is no need to look elsewhere. The moment there is a disconnection, the consequences are tremendous.

Porn is about lust or fulfilling a need through that which is forbidden.

Porn is not the place to go but Christian women go there.

When you have, in a 24 hour period, over 2.1 billion individual internet downloads of porn everyday, you can be sure that there are Christians downloading porn.


In search of true intimacy in false intimacy places.

Intimacy is her place of feeling secure in the relationship. Intimacy is not to be done just to feel connected but it is a result of feeling an overall love and bonding that cannot be experienced elsewhere in the natural.

The soul of women is deep as it is for a man.

The “soul tie” is that connection that fulfills her need of bonding and security. The moment that this is disrupted, the soul will be tempted to pursue until that need is satisfied.

The Samaritan woman that Jesus interacted with is a classic case of the unending search for love and connection. She searched for a man that would completely satisfy her desire for love and value (see John 4).

She had five husbands and then she gave up on “marriage” and was involved in an adulterous relationship with a sixth man. In each case, she either felt disappointed in each man or the men decided to leave because they realized that they couldn’t give her what she wanted.

Perhaps, she was unable to articulate what she needed and frustrated the husband to the point of forcing him to divorce her. Or she articulated it and demanded that he divorce her so she could pursue another relationship. Or the men used her just to have sex with her and ended abruptly the marriage. A number of scenarios, but in each case, she was still in search for complete satisfaction, until she met Jesus.

Jacob’s well was the perfect example.

Jacob means trickster. It could have been that all she was doing was “tricking” men into relationships and each man could have had enough of being tricked.

Lady, you have been drinking from this well and you have and you will never be satisfied but if you drink of the water that I give you, you will never thirst again. In the natural, any woman would think that He was dropping “a line,” but the Lord was only telling her that you can only be satisfied if you drink living water.

Your pursuits of connection will never be found in sex. Your lustful pursuits to be satisfied will never be found in your mate or husband. Your satisfaction will only come from drinking the water that I, Jesus, can give you and you will never thirst again. What you are trying to find in your husband will reach a limit. When that limit is reached, you must have the smarts to recognize that what is lacking in my husband, Jesus completely fulfills.

It’s the same with men. What fulfillment they are attempting to find in the bedroom will only be found on your knees before God. Sex is not the place where complete intimacy is achieved. Sex is given for pleasure, procreation, and bonding between two persons of the opposite sex. Once that is accomplished, when you are still feeling unfulfilled, it is a signal to you to seek the true and living God.

The Lover of your souls.

“Prayer is intimacy with God”, as the late Dr. Ed Cole would say.

It is in His presence that there is fulness of joy and at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore. Porn is not the place of intimacy. It is the place of sin where fulfillment is never achieved. If you are thirsty, come to Jesus.

Only He can fully satisfy.

Church Sex Scandals: The Measurable Restorative Process


There is two ways that scandals could be prevented. Willful disclosure of hidden sexually immoral behavior according to Ephesians 5:8-14 or prophetic exposure according to Luke 12:2.

In both cases, God is looking to help man out of sin by any means necessary.

It is difficult to stop men of God that are bent on circumventing any principles of morals to fulfill the lusts of their flesh but God will do everything in His power to get your attention.

Sadly, every scandal from here on is only another indication that we are deep in the age of apostasy. The sins of preachers is only getting worse and it will lead many to hell on earth and a much more terrible hell under the earth.

Sadly, the people in the church will sit there and drink with these preachers. Becoming co-conspirators and cheerleading followers of their vile affections (see Romans chapter 1).

They will drink deeply of the sinful waters of sexual perversion.

Any sins committed by pastors and church folk will make the world blush in pride.

There is a problem with pastors living up to the standards of the Word of God.

Pastors that work independently and pastors that work under a ecclesiastical jurisdiction set up rarely have a place to go to to air out what is harboring in their hearts. Many pastors frown upon “inquisitions,” “personal accountability inquiries,” or other forms of measurable accountability because of what it can turn into.

When you are in sin or you have a problem with sexual addiction, you will not be quick to run to sit with somebody to ask you questions about your personal life. It is a very fearful thing to put your life out before people because your image is at stake. What people think of you determines your total outlook on yourself and ministry.

To put out your life before an accountability group requires that you be comfortable and safe. Otherwise, nothing deeply embedded in the soul will be shared. The fallen pastor must have people that either maintained the standard of holiness in the fear of the Lord or was once in the life of sin but gained victory.

Many will say that a couple of years out of sin is pretty much the standard. The more years the better because then the fallen pastor will be exposed to hear about certain tendencies and what to look out for.

At this point, never mind the self image you may have had or lost. What’s more important is what the Lord thinks about you. Can He use you or not is dependent upon how clean you become.

Coming clean about your sex life is the only way that you can be mightily used by God in the future, should you choose to accept long term measurable accountability that works.

Secret Sexual Sins is about how much sin you can commit while keeping it a secret.

If nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.

But God knows and He is already hurt if you continue to keep it a secret.

It is very easy for a pastor to hide and not be found. When it comes to men, apart from ministry, men believe that they can fix things by themselves.

In other words, male pastors go it alone.

This always leave the potential to sin and try to fix the sin by personal repentance alone. Personal repentance is fine if you are sincere about leaving sin alone, once and for all, but it is not true repentance if you return to commit the same sin over again. That’s why it is important for you to have someone to talk to or someone that can call you and see where you are.

If you go it alone, you are only opening the door for dealing with Secret Sexual Sins through remorse, not repentance. Remorse is about feeling sorry for yourself that you were caught in sin. It’s also called revolving door repentance.

To stop revolving door repentance is the ability to stop treating sin like a kid’s game.


Let’s talk about..

Preventative And Measurable Accountability

It starts with an Accountability Group.

Someone that you willing submit to that will lovingly and uncompromisingly hold you accountable for your sexual integrity. Someone that can vouch for your life. Someone that can speak truth into your life whether you like it or not. Someone that can help you along the way, see ahead of you, and warn you of the dangers ahead.

Not many pastors are interested because of the price of transparency. However, if we are going to defeat sexual immorality and preserve our marriages, family, and ministries, we must leave no stone unturned.

Prevention is not a great subject these days. Too often nothing is done to prevent an accident but when an accident occurs, heaven and earth is moved to prevent another one.

Silly, isn’t it.

Sex scandals have continuously rocked the church for centuries. Yet, there has been no insistence of “measurable accountability.”

Partly for two reasons.

1. There is no contingency or template in place (bylaws-elder boards) when a scandal takes place.

2. Pastors refuse measurable preventative accountability and they refuse or circumvent remedial help or counseling after the scandal.

Sometimes, these fallen pastors impose upon themselves their own “accountability” rules.

They impose upon themselves that the ministry cannot continue without them and return too fast to the pulpit. If a child is born out of the adulterous relationship, and they do not have a job outside of pastoral duties, they will fight to stay on salary so they can be prepared to pay child support.

This is in addition to any divorce proceedings, if it goes in that direction.

They fail to spend time getting before the presence of the Lord and allow seasoned men of God to take them through the process of healing.

They fail to take the time to see to his wife’s healing, leaving her in a daze of confusion, betrayal, and embarrassment. They fail to help or get help for their suffering children and families. The church enters into an array of emotions but they hang between opinions governed by their denial and what is factual.

There is usually one reason why pastors return too soon to the pulpit.

They have their eyes on themselves and they want to save their “empire.”

The pastor takes the church and turns it into his own personal empire.

Two concepts of restoration comes to mind.

Not many fallen pastors will do what it takes to restore personal integrity. However, if you are going to come back to the pulpit, you must be willing to do the following.


Too many pastors do not return to the Lord. They return to their ministries first, and second, they walk away from God and their wives. The first level of restoration begins with getting back in the face of God to seek His love, compassion, and grace. Too often, we run pass the Lord, and look to get back to doing what we do best.

Preaching and ministering to people.

This should be the furthest thing from your mind. God loves you. Not what you do (as far as preaching is concerned).

Yes, He called you to preach, but He called you to relate with Him.

When was the last time you were touched by God? The Lord said this to me during my season of Secret Sexual Sins. “Never forget how to be touched by God.” This didn’t ring true until there were times that the Holy Spirit brought me through seasons of repentance. The godly sorrow for sin finally hit me because I hurt God bad.

He was grieved.

False intimacy is devotion to devils at the altar of sexual immorality. There must be a serious reconnection to the Lord. A fallen pastor falls out of love with the Lord and must reconnect to the Lover of his soul. Yes, it is time to fall in love with the Lord all over again.

Otherwise, restoration in the other two areas will never happen.


After restoring your relationship with the Lord, your family is the next important priority, not your ministry.

You must do everything in your power to do what is right for your wife and kids. The church will go on without you, one way or another. You must get help for you and your wife, otherwise, no restorative process is worth the trouble. You are just wasting time, energy, and people’s lives.

This is a lengthy, time consuming process and it should never be rushed.

After this process of family restoration, your restorative group will recommend the next step.


1. Submit yourself to some form of restoration process that takes control away from you of your ministry.

You cannot survive without God. Your ministry can survive without you.

2. Submit to some form of counseling. Be it anger management, sexual addiction (or any other addiction in connection), and family counseling.

3. Be prepared to share as much about your past as bearably possible. The links to your past is a track record that may reveal why you did what you did.

4. Submit to ongoing random spot checks by men of integrity. These are men that you trust your life with. Men that you confide with. Men that will hold your feet to the fire. It is painful but if you are serious about returning to the pulpit, your life needs to have measurable transparency.


These men will endorse or denounce your ministry effectiveness.


Only the men that you are accountable to may recommend a return to the pulpit. Otherwise, it’s a farce.

It is very easy for a fallen pastor, after a brief absence from the pulpit, to resume ministry. He really feels he could continue to minister to others. It is a pompous display of pride and arrogance that got him into trouble in the first place.

It’s like driving a car full of explosives. It’s just a matter of time before they will blow themselves up. And inevitably, he will.


While there is no template or something etched in stone when it is feasible for a fallen pastor to return to any pulpit, there should be a reasonable time established. However, to start another church or to consider moving to another town to assume the pastorate elsewhere is not a good idea within the early stages of the restoration process.

Such a return timetable must be approved by those who hold him accountable. They must ensure that he and his family are well on their way to recovery. They must ascertain that the will of God require his restoration.

How is this done?

Gauging the health of their relationship with the Lord and his family.

Signs to look for.

1. Broken and contrite heart.

2. Teachableness.

3. Willing to put off a return to any form of ministry until those involved in the redemptive restorative process see a clear display of humility or humbleness of mind.

4. Whole hearted agreement from the wife that he is ready to resume the minstry. If you do not have your wife’s unconditional support, it’s not worth the risk. That’s why family restoration will take longer than the other two areas of restoration because a breach of vows, confidence, and fidelity is not that easy to get by.

If there is anyone that should be able to vouch or question your return to the pulpit, it’s going to be your wife. She has to have confidence that you are not going to go down the path again. You owe her that much to see through the process of family restoration for as long as it takes.

God resists the proud but He also gives grace to the humble.

It is very easy to fool some of the people some of the time but God is never fooled, and God will bring certain people in your life to let you know that you can’t fool them either.

When a fallen pastor continues to speak his spiritual cliche or “anointing,” it’s a clear signal that they are not healed. When a fallen pastor speak “Biblelise” and refuse to entertain though provoking questions designed to determine where you are in the Lord, it is very plain that they are avoiding the issue.

In order to deceive, one must be deceived themselves.

Ministry is all that some pastors know. But they need to be certain that they are ready to properly balance family and ministry. Otherwise, another scandal is in the making. Most fallen pastors insist that they are ready. It never should be up to the fallen pastor to say that they are ready. It must be up to those who hold him accountable and his wife.

Anything less is failure on everyone’s part.

It is very easy to preach but it is difficult to be a child of God. Like me and every other preacher, we can preach at the drop of a hat. But can we live clean and holy before God and His people after the preaching is done?

When a fallen pastor says that they are ready, they are not.

How do I know?

If you are honest about your self assessment, you will never self rubber stamp your redemption. It is better to have others give you a truthful assessment. Self certification is a clear dis-qualifier.

Lasting redemption and restoration is an ongoing work that must have tough safeguards in place to prevent relapse. Sexual relapse is serious as a cancerous relapse.

Relapse happens in the smallest ways. During the restoration process, everyone must be on guard to address these mental and spiritual relapses. All it takes is one thought. One self sexual act to get the ball rolling. What Jesus did on a regular basis is “watch and pray.”

However, you need to have people watch and pray with you.

Everyone remembers the story of Cain and Abel. When Abel brought the sacrifice that God required, Cain brought fruit. Cain was upset that God, not Abel, rejected his offering.

God asked Cain a serious question.

“Where is your brother?”

Can answered, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Cain threw the question right back at God.

The answer to accountability is Cain’s question.

We are our brother’s keeper or guard.

We are expected to help one another steer clear of sexual immorality by employing tough, measurable accountability.

Sadly, many pastors will live in the arena of regret.

Especially during the judgment.

But we all have a chance to deal with this issue through meaningful, loving, non condemning accountability.

Church Sex Scandals: Bits Of Preventative Wisdom

By Fred C. Rochester. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.


In front of the people in church, lust filled pastors appear to worship God but their true god is their libido.

In recent times, high profile pastors are found bowing at the altar of sexual immorality. They worship their urges and impulses. They worship their lust. They worship what their eyes are lusting after.

We must address this on a national level. If we do not, then we are not going anywhere as a Body. This is not the time for popular messages. This is not the time to mirror what the prominent preachers on TV are preaching unless it is the un-compromised, unadulterated Word of the living God.

This is war and it is time to fight back because the church is under attack.

It is time to use your weapon. Stand up and fight.

This is the hour for unpopular messages on sanctification, holiness, and righteousness. This is the time for the “no name” preachers to emerge from the side lines and preach the true gospel of Jesus Christ with holiness power from on high.

If we do not, then we are a part of the problem and never a part of the solution.

If we fail in this moment, it’s because we’ve become worshippers and priests of the altar of sexual immorality.

How can we stop this or at the very least, deal with the issue?


The moment a man or woman comes before a sexually addicted pastor, their sexuality is aroused. The sexual immoral woman can always tell when a pastor is crossing the line.

It’s called, “The look,” or “The wandering eye.”

Pastor, your eyes tell the kind of heart you have (see Matthew 5:27-28 and 6:22-23).

Sadly, the immoral women that sit in these churches make it very easy for a pastor to commit adultery. Sometimes, they leave nothing to the imagination. They come in with cleavage and high heels. Tight fitting or flirty looking dresses. They come prepared to steal the husband from their wives.

Yes, it’s a battle.

A pastor’s wife is still in competition for someone that is off limits.

The pastor’s wife lives in fear that someone will come in and take her husband.

A pastor’s wife will be wise to these immoral women and set the watch. Pray that the immoral woman be exposed and the hand of the enemy bound, in Jesus’ name! Pastor’s wives should no longer take it for granted that every woman that comes to church is for God.

As a pastor’s wife, you can no longer afford the luxury of assumption when your gut feeling is that something is wrong with your husband. Your intuition is telling you one thing but your mind is playing with you. When you catch your husband’s eye “wandering,” it is a clear indication that he has a sex problem.

Err on the side of suspicion and be on guard. You do not have to be on a witch hunt. Remember, all wives have that eye for the “other women” and she can discern the motives of immoral women quickly.

It doesn’t take much and it doesn’t take long to see the ulterior motive.

You do not have to be paranoid or behave irrationally.

Just your constant presence by your husband is more than enough. Coming over and interrupting the conversation between your husband is more than enough. You do not have to behave frantically. Just use common sense, wisdom, and tact.

Every now and then, you will have to let other women know, in no uncertain terms, that you see what is happening, and you will not stand for it. It’s not about a fight or competition. It’s about staking what God gave to you and it is about territory.

Most of the time, innocent conversations between male pastors and females operating undercover can be moments of a moral let down in the mind of male pastors. She is testing his stronghold to see if there is any vulnerable places. The sides of the strongholds is not what the immoral woman is targeting.

She is going right through the front door.

That’s why a male pastor will not see it coming.

His mind is so in the clouds that he will let his guard down and be completely mesmerized by her charm, good looks, and sexuality. Before you know it, he is dreaming about her in bed. And do not be surprised if he filed her body like a sex poster in salacious magazines to gratify himself off of later.

The married pastor is no longer single and available.

Yet, the immoral woman ups the ante.


After the sex scandal, he leaves or “steps down” from the ministry for only a few weeks or months and then return to the pulpit as if nothing happened. They stand before their congregations and say key phases such as…

“I had an indiscretion,” or “I made a mistake,” or “I fell.”

They seldom say that they sinned or say that they committed adultery. These words are too strong and embarrassing. However, if you are serious about coming back to the pulpit after a “beyond reasonable” absence from the pulpit, you will identify that you are the one responsible for committing Secret Sexual Sins.

You will Come Clean about your Secret Sexual Sins.

What was done in private is now exposed in the open. Everything should be put on the table. Porn, self gratification, commonly called masturbation, and the lustful, adulterous eye.

Not many pastors will agree to do this because they have an “image” to protect.

What about the image of God?

By our “misdeeds,” His name gets dragged in the mud again.

Because of our sins, God looks bad again. “He can’t control everything and everybody,” says the world.

Sexual sins will always continue because the situation is deeper than that, but the other side of the coin is even more troubling.


You have gullible people inside the church that defend this sinful behavior by saying…

“We are all human,” or “Touch not mine anointed and do not judge my pastor, we’ve all fallen short.”

We never understand the heart of the Father. He was wounded and hurt by our transgressions and we have the nerve and audacity to defend the very thing that He sent His Son to die for?

I know what it is to fall into Secret Sexual Sins on the level one of sexual addiction. I hurt God and my wife every day like a prodigal or wasteful son. But every day, the Lord looked down the road to see if I would repent and come home to Him. He didn’t like it but He knew that one day, I would return.

Carnal Christians in the Christian church have lost their ever living minds.

We must never excuse sin because God doesn’t excuse sin. He condemned sin in the flesh of Jesus (see Romans 8:1-4). This is not about the letter of the law here. It is about upholding and maintaining the standard of the Word of God.

If they would study out Psalm 105, you will see that the anointing was not placed on the nation of Israel because they were in sin. The holy anointing is placed on holy people determined to do God’s will.

Numbers 19 through Numbers 25 was a classic display of God’s power. As long as Israel walked in righteousness, no nation would survive. When sexual immorality came into the camp, their winning streak ended. No longer would Israel experience victory on this scale unless they stayed holy before God.

1 Samuel, chapters 1 through 6, was about taking the anointed presence of the Lord away from Israel because the leadership committed sexual immorality and perverted the entire land of Israel.

Does this sound like you and your church? Experiencing victory and then defeat?

As long as the pastor and God’s people stay holy before God, victory is guaranteed. No man or demon would be able to stand before you.

Many wacky Bible knowledge-less Christians site David’s fall from grace as an example of not being judgmental of other fallen pastors.

How silly is this?

While David was a man after God’s own heart, yet, he was able to kill one of his most loyal soldiers to cover his adultery.

It’s sad that you would stoop so low as to put your fallen pastor in league with David’s sin.

The baby had to die because God was not about to endorse the act of a murder for cover, let alone adultery. David’s warped mentality caused him to fast and pray for the love child. David didn’t let it go. David errantly thought that God would change His mind.

David’s rationalization was, “Why take it out on the child for my sins? The child didn’t sin or made the ‘mistake,’ right?”

True in conception, warped in thought!

God was not about to let David get away with it and God took away from David any form of sin justification. Otherwise, everyone in the future would be able to justify murdering someone for their wife.

That’s covetousness of a perverted manner. Granted, David didn’t actually kill him but you can’t say that the thought didn’t pass his mind. David just found another hand to do the job for him.

For the rest of David’s life, he had war within his own family. The only consolation was Solomon. And Solomon didn’t enter finish well either. As a result of his sexually sinful actions, the nation would be divided, 10 to 2.

We have seen consistently in the Scriptures that whenever a sex scandal takes place, an exodus will happen. People will not stay.

This is another level where people that are searching for answers must begin with the only answer to the situation. While the Lord is in control, I cannot answer for my pastor. I must render an account for my own life and I choose to live by the Word of God.

If your church is involved in a pastoral sex scandal, I recommend you pray the following prayer.

Father, I choose to uphold the Word above my pastor. I pray for him, his wife, and his family. I will not excuse his sin. I will forgive his sin when he satisfactorily repents according to the Word of God. I will not hold his sin against him. I will pray for the pastor’s wife that she be surrounded with God’s wisdom, love, and grace. That the pastor’s wife receives the strength she needs to meet the challenge of her life. That she be restored and valued as a human being. I pray for the mistress. That she repents and receives the help that she needs to turn her life around. I pray for the church that we receive comfort, grace, and love in out time of turmoil. In the name of Jesus, amen.

The Immoral Women Versus The Jezebels

Very few pastors and their wives are aware of the immoral woman that comes to church for seductive reasons. Then there is the Jezebel that has a motive behind her seduction. In any case, both come to church every Sunday, waiting for the right moment.

The moment of a pastor’s lust problem.


Sadly, immoral women are agents of the devil on assignment. Wherever there is a church that is moving powerfully in the Lord, the devil sends a “Moabite” woman to destroy a minister, a wife, and a church.

All in one shot.

The mistress is prepared to do what is necessary to get what she wants. Unbeknownst to her, she is an agent of sin. The devil uses the lusts in her heart to pull on the unsuspecting male in the pulpit.

Sometimes, she has a systematic plan to achieve her ultimate objective. Commit to marry men in the church and then divorce them. Then get to the male pastor. Getting to the male pastor is the goal. Sometimes all it takes is a direct hit. At other times, it may require an end around or flanking maneuver to get the job done.

This is usually done when the woman has gifts and talents. She is very outspoken or has strong leadership “skills.”

The immoral woman just wants the connection. Her mode of operation is similar to a Jezebel but not quite. The immoral woman just want a man and his company. It’s all about connection for the immoral woman. The immoral woman will exchange sex for companionship and connection. She has no thirst for power.

The Jezebel level is all about power. She is willing to sacrifice her body to get power in the church. She will work in the church to get close to the pastor to be noticed. She will be faithful for a season. She will prove to be a valuable asset. Indispensable. Dependable. Reliable.

When it appears that she has the confidence of both the pastor and his wife, she will make her move to assassinate the character of the pastor’s wife every chance she gets. She is also jealous of the pastor’s wife and will look at her with contempt.

Her contempt of the pastor’s wife is the fuel of her anger and resentment. She will hide behind the cover of “associate Jezebels” to run interference as she sets in motion to “steal” the husband.

The wife of a pastor must be more diligent in these last days for the immoral woman on assignment to assassinate her, her marriage, her children (if any), and the local church.

She would do well to post faithful women at the gates and be on the lookout herself for the immoral woman that comes to destroy at the first opportunity. Sadly, the male pastor will not see her coming. He is already mesmerized by her charm, perfection, charisma, ‘can do’ attitude, and beauty.

The immoral woman and Jezebel needs help to but she must be discovered.

Usually she has an unmistakable personality. Hidden behind the spirituality is a professional seductress. She knows how to catch a man at the right moment. She may not dress like Beyonce` but she will be close as dress codes allow.

Then again, she will abandon the dress code and be a devil in a red dress.

The wife must be ever vigilant for the one woman that always look for the pastor’s attention. This is when she must be checked. The wife must know where her husband is at all times. The men in the church that are trustworthy must know where the pastor is at all times.

The faithful men and women in the church must put up, not only a prayer barrier but a physical barrier. No mistress is successful where these two methods are deployed and employed regularly, and consistently.

We must also remember that the mistress needs help to, but the kind of help that she need begins at the altar of the Lord. In prayer and the Word of God.

Then she needs to be mentored by seasoned church mothers that know how to read a loose woman, steer her away from the male pastor, and steer her towards God.

If churches do not employ an effective strategy that evolves as the immoral and Jezebel woman becomes sophisticated with her methods, it’s a matter of time before another scandal will stain the church of Jesus Christ.

The Betrayed Wife And The Mistress

By Fred C. Rochester. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.

The mistress. The other woman. The pastor’s wife is the last person to get any help. The fallen leader gets help. My God, even the mistress gets help, but who extends any help to the wife of a fallen pastor?

It is the betrayal of a wife that many people do not hear about. The pain. The anguish. The embarrassment. The disgraceful act of a husband that tread under his foot his wife, whom he claims to love, honor, and cherish.

Every wife that’s ever been betrayed goes through the cycle of questions.

Why did he do the unthinkable? What is wrong with me? What did he see in her that is not in me? What is going to happen to me and the children (if any)? How am I going to cope with the fear of losing my husband? How did I allow this? Where are you, God? Is there any hope for me? Am I going to divorce him or forgive him and try to patch things up?

I need to be healed. He gets “ministered to” but who will come and minister to me? Who could I confide with to help me get through this pain? Do I move out or do I stay? Do I make him leave?

This is the world of a wife that is searching for answers because her world has been disheveled.


It is easy to answer this question.


Your husband’s Secret Sexual Sins and his lust is to blame.

Granted, couples have arguments and disagreements in the marriage. What couple doesn’t? To blame yourself for your husband’s inability to remain true to you is not healthy. Infidelity is predominantly a lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes sin in the heart and mind of your husband.

We’ll elaborate more on this part later, but to answer the question, you are not to blame.


Many churches do not offer the kind of help that wives need. This is sad because the wife needs a strong support group to get through the moments of pain, loneliness, and betrayal. This is not just limited to pastor’s wives. This is inclusive of all the wives that may experience betrayal.

This is a church-wide issue that is increasing as the days go by. We have yet to address sexual immorality in the church on a national level because we are fearful of the repercussions and ripple affects it would have in the church.

The first thing that must happen is that the betrayed wife must find a friend to confide in. She need to share her broken heart with a person that is firm but also compassionate. It is important because her self esteem is destroyed.


In the Lord and His Word is all you need to build you up. The Lord and His Word reassures you of His genuine love for you. The Lord and His Word reaffirms you as the one He loves. The Lord and His Word revives your depressed spirit and soul. The Lord and His Word knows how to restore you to a place in Him that the devil, momentarily, took you away from.

The Lord knows that you are going through a very stressful time in your life, but He is right there to see you through the darkest moment of your life.

Your husband may have betrayed you, but the Lord will “never leave you nor forsake you.” Therefore, you must commit to shed your tears and receive His love. Cry to Him and He will heal you. Raise your voice to Him, but raise your voice to praise Him for who He is.

Your God and King.

Find some saints to pray with you. Saints that you trust. No gossipers. Stay away from the trouble crowd of women that only seek to do more harm than good. They may be well intentioned but they aren’t. They do not have your best interest in mind. Your best interest is to help you get through the moments. Everyone doesn’t need to watch your heart bleed because they will just stand there and watch you bleed.


In making decisions, it is important to understand that rash decisions only exasperate the situation. Emotional stability is essential. However, in understanding that a traumatic event invaded your peace and sanctity, you want to be around family and close friends.

Additionally, you should have someone that you confide with. A close confidant should help you to make critically sound decisions that will affect your immediate and future needs.

Sometimes the emotional state of the wife can operate in an “I am justified” mode and decide to commit adultery herself. This is not healthy and it must be addressed. Sometimes, this kind of response is done out of anger in the wife.

Granted, the wife has a right to be angry, but Paul admonishes us to “be angry but do not sin.” Ephesians 4:26


It is very easy to be so angry that forgiveness is not even considered. The pain is there but even God is angry and in pain too. Sometimes, in the midst of our own anger, we forget how God is affected. He grieves just like we do or vice versa. We grieve like Him but He still has room in His heart to forgive once we admit our sin.

You may not be ready right now to forgive and God knows that. However, we are still obligated to forgive and let it go. Remember, in the Garden of Eden or Pleasure, the Lord was betrayed. The Lord was angry and meted out punishment. However, He appeased His holiness and subsided His anger by shedding blood and covering Adam and Eve with coats of skin.

He also set into motion the redemption of man.


Because He loved us.

Your love for your husband is never optional because God’s love is never optional. His love for us is without condition. In the same manner, we are to love unconditionally.

Your husband did the worst thing in the world to secretly betray you and to openly betray you. Yet, we will be compelled or constrained by the love of God to forgive and let it go.

You will never forget it, but you will get to the point where the Holy Spirit will lead you to let the bitterness, anger, wrath, and sadness of the initial moment go, just to forgive him. Whether you choose to be with your husband or not, forgiveness is the one expression that makes God a loving God.

Again, your anger is justified, and you may not be ready right now to forgive, but you will get to that point. When you do, the grace to forgive will be there and you will have a sense of relief that despite your pain, you pleased God.

You will never get over the moment, but by God’s grace, He will help you through the moment. It includes forgiving the mistress.


Very rarely will affairs have no connection to a man’s porn and self gratification issue.

No one watches porn without releasing sexual tension.

An affair is a manifestation of his fantasy. Almost every affair will be traced to his Secret Sexual Sins of porn and masturbation.

Just because an affair took place, it doesn’t mean that the Lord or His Word changed. In the blame game, sometimes God is unfairly blamed because the devil makes it appear that God was sleeping on the job. The reason why I am mentioning this is that sometimes when an adulterous affair takes place, the Person that we need to go to is the Lord and His Word.

To run from Him or to blame Him is done out of anger but God gives you the right to be angry, but you need to be angry at the person that opened the door for this to happen.

The devil and your husband.

Your husband was already walking in sin.

The scandal before the scandal is what it’s called.

If he has a wandering eye. If he watches porn and gratifies himself (masturbation), then he has a Secret Sexual Sin problem that needs attention.

His cheating heart was already searching for flesh to have. He just needed to be pushed over the edge. Not by you but by his own reasoning.

The scandal behind the scandal is level one sex addiction.

1. Thoughts and or fantasy.

2. Porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation.

3. Adultery, prostitution, and affairs.

Step three is just the manifestation of a perverted heart.

When it comes to this level of sex addition, there is always a form of secrecy. As long as you do not know about what your husband does, he will continue to push the envelope.

When he says that he would not cross a certain line, it is just a matter of time before he will.

The line to cross is from fantasy to reality. If he stopped having sex with you, chances are he is having sex with himself and then he will cross the line into adultery, prostitution and affairs. According to the Lord Jesus, if he looks at a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery in his heart (see Matthew 5:27-28).

Adultery is an affair, however, fornication may involve adultery because the husband is married and the female that he is sexually involved with may not be married.


The one thing about porn is that it is designed to destroy wives. Unbeknownst to many people, the female porn performers do not like nor do they enjoy what they do. It is a known fact that many women that do porn for the first time leave after one shoot. It is a known fact that drugs and alcohol is on the set for the women so that they can get through the sexual abuse they are about to endure.

Let alone the fear of contracting HIV/AIDS and STDs.

The men are very abusive. In most scenes, it’s border line rape.

If they do not perform certain acts, they get paid less or don’t get paid at all.

Prostitutes, porn stars, strip joints, brothels, human trafficking, and massage parlors. It is a combination that reveals a “seamless fabric” of sexual immorality embedded in churches and society. In other words, though these activities are distinguished, they are interwoven.

Porn stars will tell you that the best money is in prostitution. Porn stars work a flat rate fee on production sites for 16+ hours of sin. Your husband is watching someone’s daughter, mother, sister, cousin, aunt, grandmother, and mother in law get raped or get a death sentence of HIV/AIDS or STDs.

The reason why I am taking this time to explain is because you cannot sit there and blame yourself for your husband’s infidelity. What they see in the mistress or the women in porn is a figment of their imagination. In the world of fantasy or false sex, porn is a perverted portrayal packaged to subliminally indoctrinate males that this is what they want. It is false pretense and very deceiving to the man.

Porn is never about love. Porn is only about lust.

There will never be any satisfaction achieved because a man will never be satisfied (see Proverbs 27:20). He will never get to the carrot in the stick. His lust for that which is forbidden will only drive him to places where he assumes he will be satisfied.

True satisfaction is only found in Jesus.

Porn portrayed to your husband that you are inadequate in the bedroom and you are no longer beautiful. The devil is a liar. Porn portrays perfect women having or giving a male perfect sex. Complete male dominance and woman degradation is the perverted perception that drives men to want more and more.

A man will have thousands of images and will never be satisfied with one image. That’s why if he were to destroy just one porn film or delete one porn show, you better check again. He has millions of images stashed on DVDs, hard drives, tapes, or any electronic device capable of storing large quantities of porn.

Yes, it’s that serious.

Because of pasts scandals, we have been conditioned to accept this behavior as a normal part of church life. Far be it from the truth. We need to address this issue on a national level if we are going to defeat sexual immorality in the church.

After the dust has settled, there is some tremendous books to help you understand what you are going through. I mentioned the stuff about porn because people do not realize how much of a negative affect it has on the marriage relationship.

Unfortunately, this is what goes on every day. Sadly, many couples join in watching porn and claim that it has no effects. Sooner or later, it will. It is just a matter of time. Porn never spices up a sex relationship. It ultimately destroys it.

Also, the person you confide with should be aware that where there is an addiction to sex in a man, there may be hidden “cross addictions” in another area.

It is not unusual for wives to harbor sexual addictions too.

What am I saying?

Sometimes a wife could harbor a “get back” at him mentality. If he committed adultery, the wife may feel that she is entitled to do the same. This is not the way to handle the situation. Responding in kind only opens the door to more trouble.

Just remember, as a wife, you are still valued by the Lord. Do not blame yourself.

Don’t allow the devil to lie to you. Do not accept one lie from the devil or from man.

Do not lie to yourself.

Just remember, you are still the apple of His eye.

Help Me! I Have The Hots For My Pastor.

“Oh! He is good looking.”

“I wonder if he is married?”

“Maybe I’ll sit closer to the front so he could notice me.”

“I don’t care how good looking his wife is, I’ll get him to notice me. A nice hot, red looking, low cleavage dress is always an eye grabber.”

In churches all across the United States, women are mesmerized by slick, clean looking, handsome pastors. Mind you, that not all pastors look hot but the anointing can dress a person up.

I find that pastors do not make it easy for women either because there are plenty of “player pastors” that pervert the pulpit on the level of Hophni and Phinehas.

While everyone’s minds ought to be on God and the Word, sometimes males and females come for one reason other than the Lord and His Word.

As I was doing my studies on sexuality, I came across an intriguing story. There was a woman, a pastor’s wife, that got caught in a pastoral scandal.

Obviously, it appeared that she was disconnected from her husband. But her husband was caught in a sex scandal himself.

He gave up the pastorate and moved to another state. They found a local church to be a part of to heal their wounds. They didn’t look to become pastors. They just wanted to reconnect with the Lord and with themselves. They came across a church where the wife felt she could connect with the pastor. The pastor’s wife, for whatever reason, seems like she couldn’t reconnect with her husband.

Or the husband couldn’t reconnect with his wife.

She turned to her new single male pastor for counseling.

Predictably, the new male pastor seemingly took advantage of an emotionally charged woman.

It is possible that the disconnect put a strain on the marriage to where there was little to no sex.

Or so it seems.

As always, one thing leads to another.

From a handshake across the pastor’s desk, to sitting on the couch, sobbing on the pastor’s shoulder. From holding hands, to embracing. From an innocent peck on the cheek, to full petting. From petting, to the bedroom.

All I’m saying is that ladies, if the pastor is a man of God, he should not be using his professional ministerial capacity to get opportunistic sex from anyone. And on the other side, women should never be looking to “connect” by being counseled by male pastors alone.

There is no question that women desire to connect with men of power and are readily deceived with smooth words from a snake.

Male pastors are vulnerable too. Vulnerable in the sense that sense ruled pastors cannot pass up an opportunity to use their personality to get into an emotionally disarmed woman.

The game is simple, get into a woman’s head and you have a chance to get into her in bed. Intimacy is connection, connection is intimacy, spirit, soul, and body.

In a way, when male pastors believe that they are a woman’s “covering,” it is a door that is about to be opened into the bedroom of a “predator” or a “wanderer.”

It is very easy to assume that the woman was the victim but I am not surprised at all when a woman knowingly play an innocent role to get as “close” to the pastor as possible. It’s known that women enter the chat room and then attempt to “hook up.”

In other words, they “act out” their connection with sex.

Young single male pastors in most church will have a house full of young women. There is no question that women will outnumber the attendance of men in church.

The Lord is not pleased when you come to church prepared to lust after your pastor.

Especially if he is married.

Double especially if you already have a husband.

You need to remember your marriage vows to your spouse before you get into trouble.

Women need to control their emotions and the male pastors, single and married, need to control their hormones. They also need to employ successful strategies to avoid at all cost the hint of sexual immorality.

There is always a scandal behind the scandal. Holiness is not just something to preach about. Holiness is about pleasing the Lord on a moment by moment basis.

Never counsel women alone.

If you are married, make sure your wife is there. If at all possible, if she has the call of God on her life, let her handle the women. If not, if she is not able to counsel women, find a church mother that has spiritual experience to handle those hot honeys that come to disrupt the holy house of God.

Pastor, if you are married, esteem your wife regularly in front of your congregation. Healthy, tactful displays of affection in front of the congregation reinforces your commitment to the one woman in your life. The intent is not to make women envious or jealous. The intent is to honor and esteem your wife as the second lover of your life.

This display shows that you have no intention of leaving her. When it’s done regularly, this gives your wife all the security she needs. Other women will try to get in on this but you just give them a handshake and keep it moving. Anything more and it’s nothing but trouble.

Remember what Paul said, “Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27.

If you cannot come to that church with God on your mind, you need to leave that church, or talk to someone that can help you put cold water on the fire raging within you.

You cannot have the hots for a pastor. IF he is single, if hasn’t approached you, you need to keep back 1000 feet. God will make things happen in your favor. If not, be patient. God will bring someone in your life that was looking for you all along.

Trust the Lord and do not doubt what He is able and willing to do just for you.

Why Do Men Wait To Get Married?

By Fred C. Rochester. Copyright  2011. All Rights Reserved.

Why do men wait to get married?

Cold feet?

Sour nerves?

Scared stiff?

There are two basic reasons which we will get to in a moment, but the descriptions listed above are shallow reasons why males never commit to one woman. Yes, there is something much deeper that keeps him from picking the woman of his dreams.

1. Relationship Phobia

Sometimes males that were in bad relationships often shy away from commitment. As big and bad a man is, the mistimed and misunderstood words of a woman can cut him to pieces. Especially when a male fails to do right by the woman and the female let him have it. Or the female is found to do somethings and it gets to him. He pursues the issue with her and he gets cut up real bad.

In frustration and anger, he storms out of the relationship and hides for a long time.

Where does he hide?

It ranges from, the “man cave” to watch porn and gratify himself, to the bosom of another woman. Or he takes a walk to let some steam off.

As you can see, there are two sides to any relationship.

Male and female must learn to properly communicate in a relationship if there is any chance for the relationship to survive. Granted, we all know how to be nice when we want something or someone but when we are not in a good mood or we were burned once, or, perhaps we’ve had a bad day, we turn off the charm.

When a male doesn’t want to communicate, he completely shuts down. When it comes to communicatory relationships, men rarely score high in this area.

We males shut down or give very short answers.


Sometimes the short answers will not make sense, or is confusing, or fails to satisfy the female’s inquisition, interrogation, desire to understand what her mate is trying to communicate.

This is what a man feels when a woman is very aggressive in her questioning.

It is her way of attempting to get her point across that the tone of questioning has the potential of making the man feel inferior. If a man did wrong, he should be questioned. However, timing is everything. So the man goes toe to toe and fires back or walks away in silence while being screamed at.

Short answers is a signal that he is not in a communicating mood and he does not want to talk further about the situation, for now.

As unfair it is to the female, this is not something that she should have to put up with.

Communication is a two way street.

So many couples fail in communicatory relationships because of the bullheaded unwillingness of the male to steer his anger elsewhere and talk about the issue. The other side of the failure is the never ending insistence and persistence of the female to pull on a man to tell it all. When two bullheaded persons are at it, it makes for drama. In the end, where there is no grace to resolve the issue, both are exasperated, and they have had enough.

In either case, both of them are not right.

Some will say that it is not the man’s fault that he doesn’t want to talk about the issue and it’s not the woman’s fault for attempting to pull out of him something that he may not be ready to deal with.

This is frustrating to a woman because females were designed for communicatory relationships. It is very easy for them to talk because that’s their make up. Communication is their main line that feeds and fosters connections to people. How they communicate and what is communicated is another story.

Connection is important to females because when it comes to value, worth, and esteem, how they connect and who they connect with gives them a sense of value. To be desired, loved, and wanted is necessary for them. Therefore, it is their main form of self expression.


Men can be lonely, disconnected, and isolated. When a female comes around, within a man, he brightens up the moment she is in ear or eyesight. The right words at the right time could ease the tension in the heart and mind of a man. The wrong words at the wrong time could destroy a man.

In her godly ability to communicate is the ability to nurture, build up, and esteem her mate.

When demonically inspired, it can destroy a man.

When a male is coming out of past relationships, it takes a male longer to heal because in the soul of a man is the ability to compartmentalize. The soul of a man is deep and has many places where he could store wounds, bad episodes, and drama. When I say deep. I am not kidding. He could be bleeding inside and you, as a woman may or may not be aware of it.

When he is not ready to talk about it, it’s because he is protecting two essential things in him. His image called “male ego” and his ability to “handle his business.” If these two things are disturbed in any way, his weakness is revealed and his manhood is ridiculed.

Women are emotionally designed to relate and connect. For a male not to relate is a clear indication that there is something deeply imbedded within him that he will not pull up until healing occurs. At the right moment, when he feels safe he will tell all.

2. Playing The Field

The woman of his “dreams” is a sex object found in porn, loose women, scantily clad women that walk the streets, leaving nothing to be desired, or conservative dressing woman that he easily undresses with his shameful mind, the bathing suit women on magazine stands and clothing catalogues (substitute porn), and his world of false intimacy and self gratification, commonly called masturbation, deeply rooted in his flesh and wild imagination.

He would never, in his right mind, marry an immoral woman because of her seductive qualities that attract a better looking man than himself.

In all actuality the real woman of his dreams is always found on the communicative relationship connection. She knows his heart, not just what’s below his waist. Her inner qualities of understanding him is the true attraction. He can confide in her because her heart is after God.

She gives to him what no other woman is qualified or graced to give.

Godly counsel from the Lord.

Cheap sex is demonically and deceptively “safer” for a man because he will not have to engage in fostering an ongoing relationship. There is no reason for this ungodly activity because it only leads to more sin and it further darkens his callous spirit. Through these activities, he is deceived into thinking that this is his only way of releasing sexual tension and achieving satisfaction. Through sin, he believes that he can resolve his issues. In sin, there is no satisfaction or resolution. Only remorse and death (see Romans 6:23 and James 1:14-15).

Sexual intercourse between male and female is designed and authorized within the marriage to physically express their deep love for each other, and to help married couples stay bonded, spirit, soul, and body.

When a man has had many women, he is soul tied to many women and will never escape the spiritual and emotional connections that ultimately disconnects him from God. As long as a man is spiritual disconnected from God, he cannot truly connect to a woman.


It’s called “holy matrimony.”

Godly soul ties is a benefit of marriage that keeps the entire relationship safe.

According to a report, if a man that is married engages in an adulterous relationship, he opens himself to an aggressive form of prostate cancer.

When it comes to immorality, the measure of the kind of woman that he wants is only from one place.

What he wants in his bedroom is only for self satisfaction purposes, and is only for healing emotional wounds and pains. He is using the reward drug “dopamine” as a medicinal property to heal such wounds inflicted in past relationships.

This is sin according to Matthew 5:27-28.

When a man is still a “player,” he will continue to do so for a couple of reasons.

1. He plays the hearts of single women looking for a husband.

He says the key words that make a vulnerable and almost desperate woman, give up the store.

“I love you. You look gorgeous. I’ll take care of you.”

2. He throws money, dinner, and nice things at her to keep her interested as a means of making sure she doesn’t go to anyone else.

Sadly, many woman do not even get to the altar to get married. They hold on and hold out for so long, and they never get to turn their dreams into reality.

Most women will not walk away from a conniving male. Some will throw themselves away sexually in an attempt to keep him because of these unfulfilled “promises.” Sadly, they are willing to put up with his loose living just to have somebody.

It’s sad that a woman of value will endure a long bad relationship that she knows is going no where just to say that “at least I have a man.” There comes a point where lying to yourself is a revelation of a longing in your heart for the situation to turn for the better, knowing that you are being held back.

God has better for you. And you know it.

The one thing that is in women is the ability to “trust.” Words, even deceptive words and empty promises are held on to forever.

Why do males do this?

When there are other women that use their “femininity” to make men bow down at their altar of lust, it is a form of power over a weak willed man. In essence, it is the player in reverse. This is the other side of the spectrum. The Bible calls these kinds of women, “the immoral woman’ (see Proverbs 5:3, 20, 7:5, 22:14).

But the moral woman suffers more because they are doing their best to live godly and hold themselves. Almost to the point of being penalized for being godly. We must remember, that the Lord sees what you are doing and He will reward you for your faithfulness to Him. And it seems like the men get away with it everyday. But that is not the case. Men pay for their mistakes.

Every male that has planted a seed in the ground of immorality always gets a bumper crop harvest (see Galatians 6:7-8).

Not one male has ever failed to receive the reward of the wicked according to Romans 6:23.

Ask any man that made the “mistake” and never paid for it.

It is just a matter of time.

Babies out of wedlock, STDs, and other issues. Child support and hospital visits to ease the pain of STDs. Condoms is the lie of the century. It’s just a matter of time when failure will occur. Your number is sure to come up because the failure rate is higher than the government figures are willing to release.

And sooner or later, you will get tired of stopping to put one on. You want live action. Fool, it’s just a matter of time. And guess who pays for the mistake more than males?

Women. And the children born if they make it past abortion, foster homes, and abandonment.

Ladies, if you would do one thing. Make him work for it, you will show that you are more valuable than you think. Make him put a ring on your finger and stay faithful to you.

If you really want to show your “power” over a male, all you have to do is shut it down. You are not supposed to give up your virginity any way because your virginity is sacred. Your virginity is worth more than all the gold and money on the earth. Your stock would soar when you demand marriage.

Sadly, we all know what happens. Another loose woman comes along and gives him sex and the fool hearty male will watch the fruit of his years go by. Looking at another generation of children brought into the world to continue the sad cycle of a generational curse.

Males won’t get married because they feel that when they are tied to one woman, they cannot have the fun of sex without relational wounds. However, as time progress, they will have to learn how to relate.

I read a story of a man that played the field. For years he would deceive women until one day, at age 60, he decides to settle down. Males marry late because he is able to deceive single women and get only one thing from them.


By the time they are 35 and 40, they decide to settle on one woman. They have children and he is running around after children late in life. Both the husband and wife, at age 40+, is chasing after 3 and 4 year olds. Too tired to be the kind of parents they need to be.

Granted, the economic conditions of our times is not helping people make early decisions to get married in their 20’s and start a family before 25. The cost of living is incredible. We are seeing unemployment at staggering rates. The poverty rate for 2010/2011 is at 15.1%.

For African Americans, the unemployment rate is double that of whites at between 16 and 18%.

The economic conditions of our day has certainly put a delay on getting married early. However, males still play the field for free. It’s called “cheap sex.” Sex without marital price.

What is the answer to this because there are many single women looking to get married but the males are unresponsive. Throw into the mix the fact that males are now entering into either bisexual relationships or out right homosexual relationships. This further erodes the chances for single women to find an available male.

The answer is clear.

Everyone must return to the Lord. Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Establishing a relationship with the Father, through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. This is where it all starts. The Bible is consistent that when people turn to the Lord, the conditions change. The starting point is repentance. The maintenance part is regularly worshipping God. Fellowshipping with the saints of God and practicing the Word of God.

You never know when the Lord will bring you to a place where a man is waiting on you to marry.

If you are in the NYC area, we invite you to attend our service as a guest. Please click the link below for directions to our local church.

We look forward to serving you as our guest at Prevailing Word Ministries, in the matchless name of Jesus!

Pastor Zachary Tims: The Timeline Prior To His Death

I. His Itinerary.

To put his death in proper prospective, there is an intense pursuit to establish an indisputable, air tight timeline. Or there is a deliberate attempt to withhold information so as to keep a person’s personal reputation on the up and up.

Truth be told, details of recent activities of the decedent would go a long ways in exonerating or, sadly reveal certain secret activities that would tarnish his image.

If nothing questionable took place, then Dr. Tims’ image would reflect integrity. If not, then it is only a revelation that he needed help and was unable or unwilling, for whatever reason, to go to the right Person and persons to get help.

What was he doing in New York City?

So far, the story is that he was supposed to be in a “meeting.” Some say that it wasn’t unusual for him to minister throughout the country because he is a “much sought after speaker.”

If he was ministering in NYC, what church was he supposed to preach in? If it wasn’t a church service, was it a meeting among ministers to set up a speaking engagement in the NYC area?

Perhaps his former “inner circle” is folding the cards on this information unless Pastor Tims deviated without contacting anyone. This is not unusual either.

No surprises here.

The inner circle have every right to withhold this information, if any, even after his death unless the police is investigating this aspect. The discovery of what Dr. Tims was doing and why is critically important.

If you are investigating, the intent is to rule out any foul play or follow the trail to where ever it leads.

Leave no stone unturned.

So far, the knowledge of his itinerary is not as revealing as we all desire.

There are security concerns behind releasing an outspoken pastor’s itinerary. There are some wild people in the body of Christ that don’t know how to give a pastor some space.

Pastors or any minsters, known or not, are not to be treated like stars but because folk do not know how to act, it doesn’t hurt to have someone assigned to look out for your security. Not that pastors need to have an entourage or security detail but having one is not unusual.

After all, most people are not that much of a threat these days, but you never know.

Pastors should be approachable and I believe Pastor Tims was approachable.

With the unknown factor of the specifics of his itinerary, we can only go on what we know so far, and live with what we may not know as details emerge or remain concealed.

The other thing that is intriguing is that sometimes in the death of an individual, whether it’s a homicide or not, when police may have a hot lead on someone, they will not reveal certain details because it may interfere with their leads, if any. To make it appear that something is developing or not, it’s a known tactic to conceal certain details until the right moment.

If there is nothing to this story then the facts will remain as given at face value.

No story, keep it moving.

In any itinerary, there is flight connections, transportation, the person or persons in charge of handling his luggage. I’m quite sure that all of these arrangements could be taken cared of by himself but again, we cannot over look certain things.

For instance, if most pastors are guests at other local churches, depending upon the “preferred treatment” of people in the ministry, arrangements of the host church would be responsible for several things.

1. Picking up the guest preacher.

2. Handling the guest preacher’s baggage.

3. Hotel and dining arrangements.

4. Transporting the guest preacher to and from the hotel to the church or place of the meeting.

5. Security and other personal needs.

If it was just a meeting among ministers, the same approach is standard.

We all know that there is a people connection or people trail. Anyone that handled Pastor Tims prior to the discovery of his remains in his self locked hotel room, may or may not know “what else” he was doing in NYC and who he was or would be with, if any.

There may or may not have been “plans” while a main plan was in play.

Cellphone or texting message records, hotel purchases of movies, personal or church credit or debit card purchases, places where he may have eaten or bought certain items, hotel security cameras, airport security cameras to see if anyone picked him up or conversed with him, stores he may have went to that may have security cameras, and Internet connections are also vital clues unless he went black (completely undercover).

After this information is compiled, a time line of his itinerary could be firmly established.

Such a timeline would rule in and rule out things and surprise many people.

Then again, it could confirm that nothing happened. It was a natural death.

If it was a natural death, then we may never know what killed him.

II. Who did he know or who does he know in NYC?

When it comes to NYC, it is very difficult to follow a people trail unless there were specific persons in NYC that he knew.

He could have connected with friends, family, if any, and it’s all about nothing. Another factor to add is how many times in the past has Dr. Tims been to NYC, where did he go, and who did he meet with?

On the suggestive speculative side, with the drug culture of NYC, the list of known and unknown drug connections is incredible. However, it’s not impossible to piece it all together.

This is not indicative of any current drug use by Pastor Tims except what he revealed in his book prior to his miraculous salvation and deliverance from drugs.

What I am about to share is in no way connected to what happened to Pastor Tims, but there was an article about a drug factory bust in the suburbs of NY.

The house where they were “doing work” blended in very well in the neighborhood but something made this nice house stand out.

A van would come every night and go into the garage. Every night.

If it were somebody that had a legit business, their business would be advertised on the vehicle, but there was no advertisement. As always, a trail was placed on the vehicle. It would pick up people at this same spot. They would wear clothing to blend in with the neighborhood.

If you do something over and over again, sooner or later a dependable schedule habit will emerge. Routine has always killed many criminal enterprises.

In WWII, the USS Indianapolis was sunk by a Japanese sub because it was determined that the Captain elected not to use a zig zag course to throw off the tracking capabilities of an attacking sub. Upon further investigation, according to the Japanese sub skipper, it wouldn’t have made a difference. With zig zag patterns, additional distance is the only con but it’s purpose is self explanatory. This was standard operating procedure (SOP) during WWII for open ocean steaming under wartime conditions.

880 sailors were killed. The survivors of the attack were left to be eaten by sharks. 317 were picked up after 5 days.

Predictability of patterns or deviation of patterns may prove to be deadly.

Why am I mentioning this?

All throughout NYC, “drug factories” blend in with the fabric of the city. Even in Midtown Manhattan.

Several years ago, as I was on my lunch break, I walked down Vanderbilt Street in Midtown Manhattan to get some pizza. I walked by what used to be called the Pan Am Building, which is now called the MetLife Building and observed a young white lady walking up to a young black man.

It didn’t take long to put two and two together.

Sometimes there is some regularity to certain situations. Either she was a regular customer or it was just a one time deal. The former is a better scenario to accept.

It was a simple drug purchase during lunch time.

In the blink of an eye, a transaction can happen.

Just a quick exchange.

Am I suggesting that this is what took place with the late Dr. Tims?

First, we don’t know what took place except for what we’ve been told. Period.

As a note, let’s just say that it was cocaine, were there any labels, if any, red or otherwise, on the bag containing the “white powdery substance?”

The label may or may not be connected to the dealers or their “enterprise”. Or, if there were no labels, then where did the alleged substance come from? Allegedly, was it a rogue police plant to make Dr. Tims look bad? The next question would be, “Why would a rogue police officer plant drugs on a preacher?”

With rogue police officers, we can’t put it pass them either. Even with a badge, they can lie like a dog so long as they can bust you.

Allegedly, what if he was with a female accomplice and they had something going on?Somehow, she was able to slip it in his shorts. Or, allegedly, she put it in his hand and then he put it in his pocket. When she left, he took it out and used it, and put the bag back in his pocket; leaving only a residue of the substance.

Cocaine is predominantly snorted these days. Was there any residue anywhere else in the hotel room?

How silly is this?

Look folks, these days, I put nothing past anyone, including preachers.

Second, if the toxicological test comes back and there is nothing to it, then our “speculating” is just fodder.

Third, if the test confirms the substance, then we need to pray that God reveal who the dealers were and that they get taken off the streets. While they can’t be called murderers, they allegedly gave him something that contributed to his death.

As I have said, the devil is out to destroy preachers. Remember what the book of James chapter 1 says. “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.”

In other words, every person has preferred sin that the devil observed in your life. All the devil does is accommodate you with the tools to fulfill the sin you love until you accept full deliverance from that sin.

We do not need a moment where we slap ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves for figuring it out. Nor do we need to “get happy” for determining by speculation what may or may not have happened to Dr. Tims.

Somebody will start saying, “I knew it! I knew it!

What will that prove? Nothing. Except that nobody seen it so it could be stopped in time.

What is important?

That you understand that your pastor needs prayer and that he or she does not need to turn to the elements of the world to seek solace. Your pastor needs an accountability group of other pastors so that they could help him or her navigate the ministry.

Together, we can prevent another pastor from leaving their assignment before their time. (Secret Sexual Sins Broadcast)

SEX-Good, Steaming Hot Sex, Christian Style. Part One

By Fred C. Rochester, Pastor. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.

Attraction of the opposite sex. Compatibility. Relationship, Romance, Marriage. Kissing. Necking. Petting. Fondling. Intercourse. Orgasm! 

Yes! Yes! YES! AND OH YES!!!

Then comes children, child rearing, and the cycle of life starts all over again.

The seemingly insatiable desire for more sex between married Christian couples.

These are the common words associated with sex. Don’t blush because you see this everyday on satellite, DVDs, cable, or the Internet. But only of the sexually immoral kind. Like Adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, and bestiality. Very few of us ever wonder if Christians that are married have enjoyable, meaningful, red hot sex. The answer depends on who you ask.

Now that the economy and measurable STDs are forcing couples to reconsider severing relationships, we still see that marriage between a male and female is God’s best plan for the safest sex. One thing is clear, many people, Christians and pastors or ministers, engage in unsafe sexual immorality almost on equal footing as the world.

The reasons range from a mistress such as work, business, or other non sexual activities to an actual affair with a body.

My late Aunt once told me that sex is enjoyable for unmarried couples too, or words to that affect. As a young preacher, I was taken aback by her statement. She didn’t care that God’s ordained plan for safe sex is within the confines of marriage.

Most professed born again believers desire sex. We are human. It is a natural God given desire. However, the best way to enjoy sex is in a monogamous relationship between two distinctly opposite and sexually compatible individuals that love each other. Disagree if you wish but the penalty is still there to remind you of what God originally intended.

Contrary to many beliefs and current trends of thinking, sex is a very much in demand subject but least talked about in the Christian church. Sometimes the only time that sex is talked about is when sexual immorality takes place. We hear nothing but the negative.

There must be a presentation of a balanced approach if the church is to stem the tide of sexual immorality in the church. The objective of consequential judgment is to remind us of what the Holy Lord said in His Word.

Hebrews 13:4 says,

“Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (unsoiled); but adulterers and fornicators (porn) God will judge.”

As long as you are married, your sex romps is according to God’s original intent and the bed is free of human defecation or contamination. Sin contaminates the bed like having sex in a bed full of human feces. I know gross and graphic but how else could God’s word describe adultery and fornication?

There is a positive side to great sex within the confines of holy matrimony. We must remember that before we were Christians, we were sinners in the world. When we accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, our sexuality came with us. The only thing that should have happened is that the perversion of sex should have ceased.


The first instance of NT teaching along these lines came from the Lord Jesus. In actuality, the NT started when Pentecost came. Nonetheless, Jesus came with a word that startled many men.

In Matthew 5:27, the Lord Jesus sat on the mount and talked about…sex.

Well, sex of an adulterous nature.

We must understand that whoever creates any thing has a right to make up the rules.

Just like certain games. Whoever created the game must create the rules so that the game could be played correctly. When there is a violation of the rules in the game, there must be a penalty or a reset to start the game over. That’s the games of this world. But when it comes to life’s rules, the stakes are much higher. The penalties are stiffer. And in most cases, irreversible.

What man has decided to do is change the rules apart from the Creator expressed in the Word of God.

The Word of God is the rule of law.

When we violate the Word of God, we are subject to its penalty and consequences.

“In the beginning God created…” 

Our names cannot be found anywhere in Genesis chapter one so that excludes and exempts us from changing the rules.


We are powerless to create.

We are only allowed or empowered to procreate or REPRODUCE.

God created man from the dust. We do not have that power to take dust and make a human. When you have figured out a way to take dust and create a container and then blow into man the breath of life to become a living soul, please let us know.

God produced male and female. Male and female are to reproduce more males and females.

To do this, man must have sex. However, before he could have sex, he must have a wife.


There are many distractions that inhibit both the husband and the wife from sexual performance.

Jobs, kids, timing, emotions, financial security, and energy.

These are some of the obstacles that couples face everyday. According to Dr. William M. Struthers, who wrote the book, “Wired For Intimacy,” men are “wired for sex.” While this is a book about how pornography affects the brain, it is a clear indication that men, on sight and thought, can get his engines ready and revved up for sex.

The circuitry or influence of sexual behavior is different for both male and female. The problem for married couples is making the necessary adjustments and mutual compromises to make sex enjoyable. Sex could be work but under the right circumstances and situations, sex could be taken to places that would make a marriage last for life.

There are many people, inside and outside the church that shut down the kind of sex that would keep marriages from falling apart. Married women are inhibited and sometimes insecure of their bodies. This can definitely put a strain on the kind of sex she would love to give her husband.

The idea is not to make changes that a person is not comfortable or capable of making unless the desire is there. In making changes, an opposite effect could take place as well. What kind of reaction will other men have when your wife comes in after making certain changes?

We all know what men fantasize about. Men are sight wired and thought wired.

Proverbs 27:20 says,

“Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.”

The eyes of man is always in search for beauty to stimulate his mind. Just because a man’s eyes are never satisfied does it mean that he has permission to seek other women in an attempt to satisfy something that could never be satisfied.

When a man gets married, he picked the one woman that he wants to look at for the rest of his life. Married man, your eyes cannot google and your mouth cannot dribble at another woman. Once you are married, no other woman is to be desirable for you. No other woman is more beautiful. The search switch must be turned off after the marriage is solemnized and consummated in the bedroom.

As devastating it is to a woman you are engaged to, during that “feeling out” not “shacking up” process, you can break off the engagement. Reneging on the promise to marry is a very hurtful and coldblooded way to get out of a relationship unless you’ve observed something in yourself that reveal that you are not ready to take on the responsibility of relationship. Cold feet is also just a man getting scared of the fact that his commitment to a wife prohibits extramarital sins.

Once he is married, he can no longer play the field. To do so would risk and compromise his health for the rest of his life.

This is the most difficult part for man because other women that aren’t married are always in passive search mode. So unmarried and even some married women will wear things that range from provocative to conservative to attract the attention of a man.

In some cases, they’ll attract the roving eyes of a married man.

It is left to the man to enforce the discipline of his eyes during marriage on one woman only. His wife. No matter how desirable another woman may be.

Job 31:1 says,

“I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon young woman?”

Job was married and the sin of sight adultery never entered his mind. His statement was a statement of fact that sexually looking and lusting after a young woman was not the door for calamity to enter his life. Not too many men, including me, could say that.


Now the opposite of a wired man is a wired woman. The circuitry for her is clearly different. We know that in the fantasy of women, it’s the romance. It’s all about how she feels about herself that makes her feel attracted to her husband. Her sexuality is tied to her emotions and the way she feels about herself. She must be coaxed or gradually persuaded to engage in sex.

Coaxed or persuaded not in the abusive sense.


It’s all about treating her right.

She has to feel secure, safe, loved, connected, affirmed, and esteemed for her real value.

While she is also sight minded in the sense that she sees something in a man that she feels attracted to, the attraction is partly about how will that man treat her. When a woman has many things going on in the mind or within her emotions, the way she feels determines whether or not she will sexually engage with her husband.

The bedroom value increases exponentially when these things are firmly established. Brothers, great sex will always come when you value her for who she is and not only what she could do in the bedroom. Hot, steamy sex for married couples is achievable when a man does the right thing with her wife.

Telling her truthfully honest and meaningful things in a loving way will start her engine.

Dis-arming your wife with kindness will help her unwind.

When you are uptight and she is uptight, it only leads to no romps. When you take the time to resolve the issue and hear her out, when she believes in her heart that you have “connected” with her, the physical connection will happen.


She wants to know that you understand her for her.

If her mind isn’t resting or rested but preoccupied with the events of her life, she must be given time to resolve these issues.

Men love beauty.

That’s what a man desires. But outer beauty is only an introduction to the inner beauty of his queen. Therefore, inner beauty makes the outer beauty that much more enticing. That’s what intimacy is about. A husband wants to get into his wife but the true door to her is her heart.

The external is just the introduction. 

The natural expression of sex is the culmination of what you have found deep inside her heart.

Her love for you.

When she knows that her heart has been penetrated, a natural penetration takes place.

When orgasm takes place, oh my!

In Ephesians 5:32, Paul said that, “This is a profound mystery.”

When a man treats his wife the way Christ treats the church, my goodness.

The marriage bedroom of a man and his wife can be too hot to handle. And there would be no shame.

So yes, Christians can have steamy, hot sex. It’s all a matter of understanding how to appreciate and esteem each other in ways that lead to a series of hot bedroom romps that the world wish they could have. (listen to our Secret Sexual Sins Broadcast)

9/11. What We Have Yet To Learn

As the 10th anniversary of a dark day approach, once again, the families that were left behind will mourn their loss on this day of infamy. It was an interracial tragedy. No one race of people suffered alone.

It was a bright, sunny, cloudless day when two airplanes struck the north and south towers.

Two more aircrafts, destined for another deadly assault were racing to hit their targets. One crashed, in what was called utter confusion, into the Pentagon. Sheer fortune on the terrorist driver of the craft. I refuse to call him a pilot because it would put him in a class of the skilled pilots that were killed that day before the planes crashed.

The other aircraft crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania but not by the will of the terrorist driver by choice. There were selfless heros on that plane. All were heros because they knew that one way or another, their precious lives would end, and they didn’t want the terrorists to succeed.

I was on the roof of my father’s apartment building after the first plane struck the north tower. Just before the first attack, my wife drove our daughter to school. I ran to our usual voting district to vote, I came home, and went to bed. But for some strange reason, I turned on the TV.

It was just after 9 AM when the most horrible pictures flashed on the screen.

Smoke was billowing from the north tower of the World Trade Center.

I had put on some clothes and went to the roof to get a bird’s eye view of the “accident.”

If you’ve been inside the World Trade Center, it was awesome.

When I was training to be a teller for Manufacturers Hanover (I know, this is going back in time), we had to ride the elevator to get to the training floor. Riding in these elevators is like riding an airplane. If you are not used to it, your brains along with your heart, falls into your belly. The “G” or gravity force going up nailed you to the floor. Going down was like riding in an airplane with almost zero “G’s.” Your ears would “pop” in either direction.

When you go to the 79th or 80th something floor (I don’t recall which floor), you transferred to a local elevator. As you looked out the window, the sky is the limit. You could see for miles. On days that it would rain, you were in the rain clouds or above it. On windy days, both towers would take turns swaying.

My sister went to the towers one day. On that particular day, she observed a bird flying towards the building. It hit the window. Beak first and slid down like in the cartoons.


On occasion, there would be “gospel concerts” on the grounds of the WTC. Yeah, God was there using His people to get people saved from their sins.

I wondered who listened and who refused the gospel of Jesus Christ?

As a young teenager in Junior High, we would look out the window and see the cranes assemble the towers. It was magnificent. Sometimes we forget that one day, people would work in these buildings because the structures tend to overshadow the fact that humans would one day occupy these buildings.

As I was taking pictures on the roof on that fateful day, I looked up and two planes flew over where I was standing. They were flying unusually close. At that time, the FAA had not given the order for all aircraft to land.

I mentioned the word “accident” because a few years before 9/11, a plane flew around to go up the Hudson River to land in LaGuardia Airport. This airplane was under 1,500 feet and was turning towards the south tower when the air traffic controller ordered the pilot to turn right and climb to 3,000 feet. 3,000 feet is the holding pattern altitude for certain situations at that time.

The plane barely missed the tower.

For a plane to hit the north tower, I thought at first, that this was definitely an accident. Pilot error or instrument error.

As an Operations Specialist in the Navy over 30 years ago, we are not air traffic controllers, however, depending upon ship assignments we are to know the rules. On board the ship that I last served, the USS Savannah AOR4, we had CH-46’s onboard, and we had to qualify on “vectoring” the helicopters towards the ship in low visibility situations to land on the flight deck astern.

There is IFR and VFR rules. IFR is “Instrument Flying Rules” and VFR is “Visual Flying Rules.” With the north tower struck by an airplane, how could it be a malfunction with instruments when you can see as clear as day out the cockpit window?

Anyway, I thought that this was definitely an accident until out of the corner of my eye, an ominous sight. It was a United Airlines plane that rapidly descended and struct the south tower. I counted the seconds because sound travels at 1,100 feet per second. It took 2 and a half seconds for me to feel the blast and the heat.

It was then that I knew that we were under attack and that lives were lost in an apparent coordinated terrorist attack on US soil.

The first thing on my mind was, it’s an attack. It’s time to re-up. It’s time to go to war with whoever attacked the US. My wife and daughter didn’t want me to go and cried.

Obviously, I didn’t go but others did.

Some to never make it back.

In a nut shell, here’s what we have yet to learn.

Everything about America isn’t as what it seems. Since the idea of democracy was born, humans without God can be prideful, arrogant, greedy or covetous, lascivious, and destructive. Just that evening after the attacks, both sides of the government stood on the steps to sing “God Bless America.”

At every Yankee game, during the seventh inning, they sing “God Bless America.”

America, God cannot bless us when we live in sin. God cannot bless us when we blatantly snub God by legislating sin called same sex unions. God cannot bless us when pastors are living extravagant lives that poor people dream of having while we preach to them. God cannot bless us when we pastors live secret lives of sexual immorality and permit music ministers to play while they live homosexual or bisexual lifestyles. God cannot bless us if singers that claim to be singing for the Lord watch porn and gratify themselves. God cannot bless us if we are doing all these things.

God cannot bless us while we live any old kind of way.

Church attendance is down because the sinning hypocrites of the world calls the church a bunch of hypocrites and they are mostly right. NO church is perfect, but there is someone out there that is living right, telling the truth, and helping the desperately poor folks in their neighborhoods. Some church is doing the right thing.

According to one statistic, 65% of people view church on the Internet. They never come out to church for 3 basic reasons.

1. Hypocrites.

2. Money.

3. Church Hurt.

The terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and economic turmoil that America and the other nations is experiencing is consequential judgment.

Luke 13:1-5 is like reading the Daily News.

The issue is clear. Unless you repent, you shall all likewise perish.

The issue is not just attending church for attendance’ sake. The issue is getting into and developing a relationship with the Father, through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the bottom line of the church. To live lives apart from the way the world lives it and to show that we have been changed by the power of God.

To extend and teach by example faith, hope, love, and forgiveness from a non condemning and non compromising position.

The church is not just a “charitable organization.”

The church is an organized organism. We live to please the Lord. We live to worship the Lord. We live to honor the Lord. We live the life of Jesus Christ unapologetically. We tolerate the person, not the sins a person commit.

In Him we live and move and have our being (see Acts 17:28).

God attached consequential judgment as a penalty for the sins man intentionally commits. For instance, when you see a sign that says “Danger 600 Volts. Do Not Touch,” it is there for a reason. Yet, people foolishly touch it. It’s the same with sin. No one escapes the deadly penalty.

End time judgment is God’s direct hand on every man. End time judgment will come later according to the book of Revelation from chapters 4 to 20.

We see evidence of consequential judgment in the OT (Old Testament).

When Israel obeyed the Lord’s commands, they were spared consequential judgment. When they sinned, they would receive judgment. The ultimate judgment was when Israel was exiled to Babylon.

Every year before the death of Christ, the Jews would celebrate the Passover to “atone” or cover their sins.

However, after the death of Christ, there is no longer a need to “atone” for sin (see Hebrews 9:6-15). When we come to Christ and believe that His sacrifice or propitiation forever took away our sins, we have eternal life (see John 3:15-16).

However, because man insist on disobeying the Lord, judgment is meted out as a consequence for sin.

The people of this nation continues to sin before God.

We haven’t learned a thing.

We, as a nation, both inside and outside the church, continue in sin.

All this can turn around if we find a reputable place of worship where the gospel is neither watered down or compromised. Where consecration, dedication, and sanctification to the Lord is the byword of our lives. When sin is no longer excused but washed away by the blood of the Lamb.

Where people can go and hear the unadulterated Word of God. Where a passion for Jesus and a yearning to be close to God is borne. Where true believers incorporate the Word of God into every day living to please God, and with His help and grace, change our immoral ways to live holy before God. Where believers come together to live victoriously over sin and the world through the power of the Holy Spirit.

When the nations turn back to God in repentance with godly sorrow for sin, we could potentially add years to the life of a nation before a definite turn for the worse occurs.

We still have time, but, if we don’t repent, then we haven’t learned a thing.

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