by Fred C. Rochester, Pastor. Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.
There are many single ladies that look for serious mate to marry. The successful male candidate must have these seven requirements to make it pass the initial scrutiny of the prospectus female looking for a lasting relationship.
We already know that being a child of God is number one on the list. The prospectus man loves the Lord, is into his Bible, and lives the Word of God. We find that sometimes a brother could be deep into the Lord but still lack in these seven areas in a big way. They know a lot about the Scriptures, but they do not do well with these basic areas.
And when a Christian women questions the man about these areas, he gets very defensive. On the other side, there are men that are well versed in these seven areas, but they lack the love of the Lord. Men tend to get defensive when an area is found to be lacking.
Brothers, it’s time to bring both areas up to par.
To fail in these areas is a serious felony.
Check your attitude at the door.
Just in case you are not aware of the definition, chivalry means “courtesy towards women.” If you are to win her heart, it starts with being a gentleman every time. All the time. A woman desires to be cared for. She wants to know without a shadow of doubt that you are committed to care for her. While she should be able to take care of herself, she should know that she has a man that is willing to lay his life down. Sacrifice is part of the price of chivalry. Paying attention to these details will make for a pleasant relationship. When you open the door for her, pull her chair back, buy her dinner (a real dinner, not Mickie D’s), and other small tokens, it makes her feel valued. Investing in this effort will go a long ways in taking things to the next level. Going Steady. Additionally, he must be able to understand what her needs are by asking. Guessing is not a good thing. There are certain things that women like and there are certain things that women do not like. It would be in your best interest to ask her. What she is looking for from you is understanding, connection, relationship, companionship, value, esteem, care, honesty, love, and a chance to be a part of your world. With understanding connection, a woman wants to know that you are interested in her. By calling her regularly, texting, or using other forms of communications, she feels wanted. While you are not married, these things are important to her security. If you are serious about her, you will always leave the lines of communication open. Romance is an essential part of the dating scene. Flowers, candy, candle light dinner. This adds to the list of chivalry, but for that special lady, it shows that she is worth it.
2. Strong Drive For Success.
You are a strong believer in making your dreams happen buy God’s help and grace. You are designed to be a man of purpose. A man of intent. You posses a strong sense of destiny. Her destiny is locked in yours. Because you have made up your mind to go somewhere, she is willing to go somewhere with you. If you are going no where, she may or may not want to go no where with you. A sense of purpose involves detailed plans and the execution of those plans. You are motivated to succeed. You are never afraid of trying. You are never afraid of failure. If you need to go to school, get to going. If you need to work more hours to achieve that goal, it’s a small investment to secure your future, and hers.
3. Extreme Care In Handling Your Personal Responsibilities.
In the economic times we are living in, every dollar counts. It is important that from day one, that you stick to and execute a sound financial plan. A sound financial plan begins with education. The more education you have, the better the chances of you being hired for a good paying job. Along with this, you have to stop creating bills just to have certain things. Establishing proper financial priorities and living within your means is the best possible way to be responsible. Pay your bills on time. Credit is not an additional paycheck. Credit is agreeing with the financial world to give them your future paycheck. The more debt you incur, the more you will lag behind in your basic responsibilities.
4. Well Kept House or Apartment.
Jungle Habitat or The Waldorf? Is your house a castle or a dungeon? Just in case you don’t know what this means. Is your house or apartment junky or adorable? If not, you need to get busy and clean up your joint or crib. You are convinced that “cleanliness is next to godliness.” It is not in the Bible, but we wish it did. If you live in an apartment or home, you are charged with making sure everything is in its place. Your desire to impress on the next level requires that you take care of every detail. Made up bed. Laundry done. You pick up after yourself. Food is in the refrigerator. Rent or mortgage paid on time. Utility bills paid on time. A clean house or apartment is an impressive house or apartment. The way you live reveals the kind of person you are. So make sure your house of apartment is squared away.
5. Outstanding Wardrobe.
Your clothing reveals the kind of person you are. If you are a “slob” in dressing, you will not attract the right person. You have to choose between, good, better, or best. Survey the room of men, Take note of what they wear. See what kind of women are attracted to what other men are wearing. Adjust where necessary. First impressions make a difference.
5. Great Personal Hair Grooming.
Even men have bad hair days but it should never be everyday. There are many hair styles out there. However, a well groomed hair style always score big. You have to choose what works for you while at the same time what would score with the ladies. The rule is simple. Neat. Trimmed. Washed and together.
6. Skin Care.
Ash Wednesday is not impressive. A little oil will go a long way.
7. Body Odor & Bad Breath.
There is so many deodorants and breath mints to choose from that it’s inexcusable not to be prepared. If you want to turn off a date, this is the one way to make sure. Brother, make sure you check yourself before you leave your home or open the door to your date. On the other hand, do not overdo the aftershave or cologne. If people could smell your cologne a block away from the restaurant, before walk in, then you are too “loud.” One or two sprays at the most.
While there may be other things that are just as important, I believe that these are the top things that will make or break a potential relationship.
For those of you that are married, take notes. When you adjust to incorporate this in your marriage relationship, you will bring the fire back and add lasting years to your marriage.