SINGLE Woman Available: Desire Godly Male To Marry Me!

by Fred C. Rochester, Pastor Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.

When will he come? When will he ask me the question? When will I get married? When? When? When? Why do men wait so long? Why don’t they commit? Why does everyone else find a mate and I am left all alone? Is it because I’m not attractive or beautiful? What’s wrong with me? Why won’t God answer my prayers for a man? I am about ready to quit? God I hate You for putting me through this waiting period! God. I don’t believe You any more!

If you haven’t asked any of these questions or made any of these or similar statements, then you are married or you have completely walked away from the issue of getting married.

While you probably do not care about the statistics, they serve as vital pieces of information that will help us to understand the current trends of today.

It was estimated that during the 1950’s and 1960’s that over 60% of families were married. In other words, the household had a male and female figure that were joined in holy matrimony. Today, that figure is significantly reduced to around 30% or 40%, or less.

What happened?

A number of significant dynamics occurred.

DECLINE OF MORALITY 

Males that claim to be men fail to uphold the standards of morality according to Proverbs chapter 5, chapter 6, verses 20 through 35, and chapter 7.

The moral fibre of those days were far better than today.

Then there is the immoral woman as recorded in Proverbs chapter 7.

It’s a two way street.

If you slept around in those days, the stigmatization applied to unmarried women of being a “slut” or an adulterous woman being called a “whore,” was once very damaging. Yet, it compelled some women to “save herself” for the right man and from having these negative titles applied to her.

For men, it was a badge of honor to be in adulterous or multiple relationships. There was little, to no negative stigma attached to men that engaged in adultery or fornication.

Completely wrong, inappropriate, sinful, shameful, and downright filthy of men. Equal responsibility belongs to both male and female that engage in sexual immorality according Hebrews 13:4.

As far as male dominion was concerned, sleeping around and scoring was normal.

Today, it is almost no big deal for women to steal “experienced” married men or to fornicate regularly. In fact, this game of sleeping around is now almost on equal footing. This means that women hunt for “booty call” just like the men do.

Single women play the field just like men do. It is also common knowledge that women engage in porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation. In fact, one out of six women will watch porn, one in three will act out or “hook up” with a man for sex to feed an intimacy connection need.

It is already common knowledge that men engage in lustfully watching women, being Beyonce or Angelina Jolie seduced, watching porn, and masturbating more often than you think.

There was one article that was called “Cheap Sex.”

Cheap Sex was about the fact that some women no longer demand that a man marry them in order to have sex. It is now normal to text a person for sex.

They would use their electronic devices and set up a rendezvous for a sex romp. A one night stand. Maybe two or three, if the sex was good, and then they call it quits. More couples that aren’t married are still “kicking the tires” or “shacking up.”

They enjoy the benefits of marriage, but there is no legal contract or marital obligation. They can walk out from each other at any time. No commitment, no marriage, no real meaningful relationship except in the bedroom, if you call that “meaningful.”

Risky, non condom sex always end tragically.

There is no such thing as “safe sex” except between two married persons of the opposite sex.

Pregnancies, still births, miscarriages (they happen between married couples too), an abortion, STD’s (only happens when one of them cheats on their spouses of the opposite sex). Children born out of wedlock or arrange for adoption after birth. Both the mother and the child contracting HIV/AIDS. Even if there were no births or STD’s, the emotional emptiness is still there until it is temporarily filled with another sex romp.

Or is completely fulfilled in the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ according to John chapter 4:1-27, John 8:1-11.

For the most part, most women desire romance and commitment in a monogamous relationship.

The search for real intimacy and relationship continues to end for the available single woman in frustration, anguish, despondency, and utter despair. A single woman’s needs go unmet and this cycle of frustration continues.

WHAT ARE SINGLE WOMEN FACING TODAY?

The variety of apparent negative dynamics.

Interracial marriages.

Black men marrying White, and Asian women, and White women are marrying Black and Asian men.

In my opinion, when two persons of the opposite sex truly love each other, it should never be a problem. When it comes to population statistics, it is true that in the United States, African Americans make up 12% or 13% of the US population.

When Black males marry White women, it is a very serious issue that significantly decrease the chances for available Black women to marry Black men. There is no question that some Black women seriously object to Black men marrying White or Asian women, and they are hurt by this.

However, I find that White men cross the color line too.

My opinion doesn’t have to be accepted, but it is clear. When two persons of the opposite sex love each other and are willing to look past the shell for the person, that’s what matters the most.

There is no way to smooth this over because the realities are before us. There will be disagreements and anger because of what I said (this is I speaking, not the Lord), but we must be honest about what is before us and begin to look at the total picture. It doesn’t mean that you have to accept it. Just look at the facts with an honest and open heart and mind.

Even if I were say that God really brought two racially different persons together, for the person that isn’t married to object and take exception, I have to agree with you that there is very little comfort and solace.

My prayer to the Father, in Jesus’ name is that you do not be bitter about it. Be better about it by “walking in the Spirit” and “let love be without hypocrisy,” according to Romans 12:9. Resist and refuse to harbor resentment, envy, and jealousy according to James 3:13-18.

When you can’t do this, (that is walk in love about it), you have made a choice to refuse to do what Christ would want you to do about it. Anytime we refuse to do what the Word says to do, we are walking in disobedience, and we cannot expect God to do much to change our own situations when we willingly stuff our disobedience in His face.

There are things that must be broken in us if we want to see a breakthrough for us.

More men are incarcerated. More men are exploring same sex, self sex, or bisexuality to self satisfy sexual intimacy needs apart from women. More men are unemployed and are unable to financially sustain a family, let alone themselves. More males remain childish males mentally.

These factors significantly decreases the possibility of women getting married. What this means is that some of the men still see life as a game and sex is a part of that game they play. They must be broken, in Jesus’ name. Available single women are waiting for men to show up.

Which of you males are willing to put away childish things and become a man?

You know that men have a penis but they don’t use their brains first. Their sex drives compels their lower anatomy to do all their thinking for them.

Sexually only minded males will only view of women from a commodity perspective. The “sexual objectification of women” only for satisfying a sexually immoral desire. The male’s flawed thinking is that the body of a women is just a container to get off on. Use and discard a woman just like a condom.

Not realizing that the woman is a person with feelings, emotions, and is a human being. Worthy to be loved, honored, and respected.

With this type of immorality going on, men are no longer forced by single available women to commit to her and be in a meaningful relationship when “free tail” from immoral women is offered.

Then there is the flawed, at best thinking that, “If I don’t let him have me, I will never get him.” Or. “I’ll give him a baby, and he will marry me!”

That’s the whole purpose of prostitution or one night sex romps. Give a man only one thing and that’s it. All of the other stuff is not a part of what men pay for.

But deep down inside, the male will one day, be a man and come to the conclusion that they need feminine connection, relationship, and spousal affirmation. Not just from the bedroom but from life as a whole. Deep down inside a man, he is looking for a person that would accept him for who he is. And right now, all he is thinking about is to be accepted and affirmed from one selfish aspect.

Ejaculation.

The sense of physical sex and achieving orgasm for accomplishment, or job well done in the bedroom, is his only objective. It’s a cry for intimacy by relationship that he, himself concluded could only be attained through sex acts.

Why do men take so long to come to their senses?

Sex to him is incorrectly considered a sport. A “score.” A reward for winning. When everything else fails around him, he goes to the one place where it is a guarantee that he will be rewarded.

Sex.

These are just some of the things that single women face as to why men do not commit to a meaningful relationship.

Then there are men that can’t get past wounds inflicted from previous relationships. He self determined that they are too painful for him to overcome to engage in another relationship. So he engages in meaningless sexual relationships for sex only because it requires no commitment.

This is very disparaging for single women.

For single women, the “competition” is fierce and intense. Even in the church. For the most part, the church is somewhat to blame because there is very little, to no teaching to men about dating, sex, relationships, commitment, connections, how to rightly treat women, and so forth.

Then the places where connections take place is more of a worldly culture than Christian.

The night clubs, malls, movie theaters, street hangout, private and semi-private parties are the common  places where “hook ups,” are happening. Some “so called” Christian concerts is another venue.

Looking at the church scene, we see that not many men show up in small churches. In fact, there was one article that revealed that the place to go meet a man is in the mega churches or a fairly sized church. That’s because the chances for being noticed exponentially increases where more males show up.

But also in these mega or large churches, there is a lot of single available women waiting to be noticed. These women range from chaste, to extremely provocative. I find that for the most part in the medium and mega churches where there is a single male pastor available, more single available women will show in hopes of being noticed and get married to that pastor.

There is no doubt that marrying a pastor is on the list because the pastor’s personality, outspoken nature, possible good looks, power, influence, money, and other high end aspects is extremely appealing to single available women. There is no doubt that even married women will “get counseling” just to get in bed with that pastor. It has happened, so don’t be naive or fooled.

But for the most part, righteous single women just want a man that would be interested in her. She wants him to be successful, working, responsible, caring, loving, sensitive, fun, and above all, one that is serious about the Lord, as well as be serious about family values, and commitment to one woman.

She is looking for someone that will love her for who she is. A beautiful, attractive, intelligent, and a well grounded woman. Grounded in the sense that she lives by basic godly principles.

These virtues is very appealing to a man.

These principles is not about housekeeping, child bearing, and raising. It is not about being a “momma” to the man. It’s more about common relational connections that makes being around each other fun, exciting, and challenging. Challenging in the sense that you are learning each other and adapting or adjusting to make a relationship work.

It is in this aspect that women shine and the best is brought out of her.

All she needs is for a man to take a chance.

RISK

Finally, the risk is there. A man takes a risk. A woman takes a risk. In my judgment, mistakes are going to be made. Perfection is a fleeting thing. First impressions are lasting impressions but somewhere along the line, in making a choice, a hair or two will be out of place.

Men. Stop dawdling and accept her with that hair out of place. All she needs is a brush or comb to put it back in place.

Man. A piece of meat will be found in between your teeth when you put on your best smile after dinner.

What am I saying?

Men. You need to get off the sidelines and pick one. She is right there in front of you. Pick her. Compatibility is sometimes determined when you first set eyes on each other and begin to look past the skin, and see a person that desires your love.

And if you are in a relationship, how ready for marriage are you going to get? She is waiting for your proposal. She is waiting on you to get serious and pop the question. She is waiting to walk down that isle and give you everything you could ever imagine.

My brother, if you are reading this, perhaps you need a little push. You might be asking the question, “How will I know she’s the one?”

Sometimes you won’t know until she walks down that isle. You won’t know until you are on your sick bed and you look up, and she is right there. You won’t know until you can’t pay the bills but she willingly puts her resources together to help you. You won’t know until you wake up next to her after the wedding, and you see her smile across her face.

That smile is a smile of, “I thank God you picked me.”

Single women, do not give up on God.

Sometimes what you need to do is venture outside the normal. See new places and meet new people. It’s a risk that everyone takes. But you won’t know until you go. Sometimes you are waiting too long for the one that you think is to be your soul mate.

But he keeps you waiting and waiting. HE is a fool because he failed to recognize that God put you there for him.

It’s time for you to make a decision because you can’t let a male person that is known to go no where keep you from going somewhere.

There are many place where you shouldn’t go. God knows that you do not need to go to places where the dating is nothing more than going to clubs/brothels, or strip joints.

You are worth more than that, and you should never lower your standards to hook up with the wrong bozo/bonehead that thinks only about satisfying his other head.

www.blogtalkradio.com/prevailingword1 (please listen to our Secret Sexual Sins Broadcast)

www.prevailingwordbiblechurch.org

Truth be told.

Covetousness; Greed Is Good?

by Fred C. Rochester

Covetousness; Greed Is Good? Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved.

If you have many maxed out unsecured or secured credit cards, home equity loans, a mortgage on a house that is beyond your means to pay, car notes, personal loans, and other forms of debt, it is a clear indication that you are, or you were covetous.

In Luke 12, two brothers were fighting over their inheritance. The matter was brought before the Lord Jesus. The Lord Jesus told him, “Who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” It seems to me that there was more to it than meets the eye.

First take note that the brother was standing in a crowd of people. He aired his sibling’s dirty laundry before the people. All in an effort to get the Lord Jesus to rule in his favor.

We do not know if his brother was present, but it appears that some people in the crowd knew these guys and word was to certainly get back. However, we see that it wasn’t for the Lord to rule because no one in the legal system made Him an arbitrator.

Then the Lord gets to the root of the issue.

“Take heed and beware of covetousness,” The Amplified Bible is quoted as saying,

“Guard yourselves and keep free from all covetousness (immoderate desire for wealth, the greedy longing to have more).

Immoderate is defined as “beyond reasonable limits.”

HOARDING; EXTREME COVETOUSNESS

There is a powerful series called “Hoarding.” It talks about people’s compulsive desire to accumulate things. Rat packing is a serious issue because when you have the ability to buy an item and then store it, you are creating a mess that becomes extremely difficult to deal with.

The sad part is that they grow emotionally attached to the various items in the house and will become very combative. The reasons for this kind of behavior varies from person to person but there is a consistent pattern common to most people that hoard.

1. An serious emotional event occurred in their lives that compelled them to shut down common sense and normal reasoning.

2. Accumulation was permitted to reach a stage where undoing what was done became unbearable. Not just for the person that is hoarding but for the family members that attempt to correct years of compulsive accumulation.

3. Emotional detachment ( a complete clean up) would mean death to them. In other words, each item gave them a warped reason to coexist and if a separation took place, they would freak out.

While I am addressing a total different subject, you do not have to be a hoarder to be covetous. Hoarding is just an extreme case of covetousness associated with traumatic events that immobilizes a person. The majority of their accumulated items become their memento to happy times before a tragedy or emotional trauma. It becomes for them their security or comfort. It is an extreme compulsion that has the potential to eventually kill a person.

One such case took place a few years ago. The man had so much stuff inside the house that it concealed his death for quite sometime. It was only until the mailman couldn’t put any more mail in his box that they decided to call the authorities.

When they tried to enter the front door, they could not go any further. It wasn’t the smell of his corpse that repelled the authorities. It was the accumulation of stuff that prevented access to the body. There was so much stuff in the house, they had to take it out, piece by piece before they could remove his corpse.

The parable of the sower is a classic example of where the hearts of people are. The most common place where people abide is among thorns. The seed, which is the word of God, is thrown among thorns where the Word is being choked with “cares, riches, and pleasures of this life.”

This is the place of covetousness.

STAYING FREE OF COVETOUSNESS

If God’s people want to stay free of covetousness, they must get to the place where the good ground is, where the seed will produce fruit. Those that are on good ground will always be content with what they have in life because of Psalm 23:1.

In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul gave us these powerful words.

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Paul didn’t permit his need to drive him to do things that would violate his relationship with the Lord and God’s people. He had a common sense approach to life. He went to work.

In 1 Timothy 6:6-10, Paul tells us,

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

When the love of money became the only pursuit in the life of a believer, there is only one result. You will stray from the faith in greediness. Once again, it is a depiction of a believer that is among thorns where the word is choked because of “cares, riches, and pleasures of this life.”

Hebrews 13:5 tells us, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you not forsake you.”

When everything runs out, the one thing that you will always count on is that God will never leave you nor forsake you. He will make a way so you won’t have to. It takes faith to trust God to get through in this life.

In none of these Scriptures do we see the Lord advocating that we do without, remain poor, or suffer lack. However, we do see that regardless of the conditions of our lives, we are to be content.

You will recall in 1 Kings 16, when Elijah walked up to Ahab and told him that there would be no rain for 3 and a half years (see James 5:17-18).

The Lord sent Elijah to Zarephath and commanded a widow woman to provide for Elijah.

When a nation refuses to repent of sin, dire conditions are released to nudge the leaders and the nation to the place of prayer to repent for the sins committed in the church and the nation.

If you carefully read the stories in the OT, you will see that the origin of these conditions began in Deuteronomy 28:1.

“Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above all nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the LORD your God:”

The downside of conditions always have one conclusion.

Deuteronomy 28:15 says,

“But is shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:”

While this Scripture appertains to the children of Israel based on the law, we must remember that the principle of obedience and righteousness to God is applied to every nation on the planet. While “Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law” (see Galatians 3:13),” it is not a blank check to “…continue in sin that grace may abound” (see Romans 6:1).

Jesus did not die for our sins so that we can continue to sin.

RIGHTEOUSNESS EXALTS A NATION

Proverbs 14:34 says,

“Righteousness exalts a nation. but sin is a reproach to any people.”

Please note that it didn’t say, “Righteousness exalts only the nation of Israel.” The New Living Translations says,

“Godliness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.”

It is interesting to note what 1 Peter 2:9-12 says,

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy. Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.”

Notice that Peter called the church, “a holy nation.”

So when the church is holy, it is a godly nation. God, therefore, exalts that holy nation, within a nation. The rest of Proverbs 14:34 is appropriate for the sinful nation, including the church. When we are in sin, we are a disgraceful nation. If exaltation uplifts a nation, disgrace is the downfall of a nation.

ONE STATE AT A TIME

If you have noticed, the governor of Texas called for the State to enter into a time of prayer with fasting. He’s been getting heat but it seems to me that it will go forward regardless of the may lawsuits and fuss.

In Oklahoma, the governor is setting out time to pray for rain. Let me tell you. I think somebody is getting the message. But it’s not coming from our prominent pastors and leaders. It’s coming from the politicians. Do not get me wrong. If the pastors are influencing the politicians, telling them that they need to pray, then we do not need to know their names.

What we need to be more concerned about is getting each state to come back to God. Who cares about who did the influencing so long as we are found on our faces before God. But I also find that some parts of the church isn’t getting the message. We haven’t put two and two together.

Immorality is still the business of most pastoral leaders and congregants.

How do I know?

When you see a lot of people leave their churches because you preach against sin, same sex unions, adultery, fornication, pornography, masturbation, bisexuality, pederasty, and other sexual sins, it is clear that they want to send you a message that they intend not to give up sins of the flesh.

If they leave because a pastor is found to be in sin, sadly, that departures will happen. That’s because the people expect their spiritual leaders to be held to a higher standard and be held accountable. The wrong message to send is for the leader to salvage his ministry.

What he is really doing is salvaging his empire at the expense of the kingdom of God. The godly thing to do is surrender the ministry, salvage his relationship with God, his family, and then to the congregation.

When you see that the prominent preachers are still peddling the prosperity message and the gospel of inclusion, we haven’t gotten the message. When you see elements of the world’s brand of “gospel music”  in the church. When you see a rise in sexual immorality because of it, then you know the church is in trouble, let alone the world.

I mentioned the story about Elijah and the widow woman for a reason. The economic conditions in this nation is a direct result of covetousness, same sex unions, and abortion. These sins are evident in the church and in the world. We do not know how to be content with what we have and we desire more.

We desire intimacy with ourselves, same sex, and opposite sex, illicitly. When we conceived a child out of wedlock and then abort that child because we can’t afford the child or the conception was a mistake, these are gross sins that defile a nation.

With unemployment at 9.2 percent. With interest rates on credit cards and loans at an all time high. With a decreasing taking home paycheck. With the high cost of living to purchase the basic necessities; gas, light, phone, food, and clothing.

WHAT MUST WE DO TO REVERSE THIS?

Repentance, confess our sins, forsake our sins, live righteously before God. Sanctify the Lord in our heart. Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near. Weep between the porch and the altar. Set a time for prayer and fasting, with weeping and mourning.

God will honor the pastor that falls on the sword. That’s right. Crucify himself. God will honor the church that seeks His face. God will turn churches around and then turn a nation around. We must be serious about killing covetousness, sexual immorality, and same sex unions in the church, first.

When we judge ourselves, we will not be judged. Hence, we won’t be condemned with the world. If you want to see an outpouring of the presence of God, all you have to do is bring to Him what He requires. A contrite and broken heart. A heart that is sorry about sinning against God. Then, and only then will our sacrifices be acceptable in His sight.

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